Han was wet.
Han hated being wet.
If Man was supposed to be wet, he wouldn't have invented sonic showers.
Reaching up to push aside a lock of water-sodden hair that insisted on dangling into his right eye, Han cursed the planet in general and the climate in particular. It would be different if it actually rained, but no, it was just this constant damned mist that hung in the air like cheap cigarello smoke in a crowded cantina. It was enough to make a man actually appreciate the vacuum of space.
Han sighed wistfully. In space, nothing can make you wet.
He told himself firmly to stop daydreaming. Han had a feeling that inattention on this planet was just as deadly as a Huttese birthday party - a party where you woke up to find yourself as the birthday present.
Just ahead of him, Luke coughed and stumbled, but before Han or Vader could reach him, the boy managed to regain his footing.
This time.
The kid was having even more trouble with the climate than Han. Desert born and bred, Luke still seemed more efficient at attracting water than the moisture vaporators on his farm back on Tatooine. If the kid weren't already so desperately ill, it would almost be funny how he managed to locate every hidden stream, every water-laden leaf, even following so close behind Vader. It was downright uncanny. But most of it could be chalked up to sheer exhaustion, Han guessed.
Han looked skyward before he remembered that he couldn't estimate the time by the position of the planet's sun. There was nothing visible overhead but moss, vines, branches and leaves - an endless expanse of green on green in every conceivable hue.
But nightfall had to be approaching soon, and if not, Han was going to tell His Exalted Lordship they had to stop regardless or Luke wouldn't be going anywhere at all.
As for Vader, Han was beginning to believe that his joke about the Dark Lord's vision wasn't a joke after all. The man seemed to randomly detour around patches of vegetation that looked no different than fifty other patches of vegetation, then he would pass dangerously close to one of the forest's larger trees, requiring them to climb over the massive root buttresses that extended ten meters or more beyond its trunk. Vader never once paused, never once seemed to consider the various options, and for that reason alone Han deduced that there was no rhyme or reason to their path.
And because Luke wasn't in any condition to make random course changes that added even more time to their journey, it infuriated Han.
Which was probably why Vader did it in the first place.
Fuming silently, Han was diligently glaring a large, gruesome hole in Vader's back and therefore noticed when the Dark Lord stopped abruptly.
Luke, who was staring at his own feet in exhaustion . . . didn't.
The boy walked squarely into Vader's back, which evidently had much the same effect as walking into a tree, but with a more predictable response on Luke's part. The boy let out a startled yelp, stumbling backward as fast as he could. He slipped in the loose, saturated soil and disappeared down a mossy incline that Han hadn't even noticed was there.
"Luke!"
Han thought he heard a splash amidst the muted roaring of the wind rushing through the hidden valley below, but he could see nothing through the swirling mists rising from the same source. "Luke?" Han called again, searching for a way down that wouldn't put him in the same predicament as Luke. The incline wasn't overly steep, but countless years of flowing water had smoothed the moss to an almost glass-like consistency, and Han searched frantically for another way down.
Several meters to the left, he found a steeper path that looked like the remains of an old streambed - its dark red soil a glaring contrast to the vivid green surrounding it. The thin stream of water following its course downward only magnified the lurid color. Maybe his eyes had merely adjusted to the endless sea of green, but the streambed reminded Han of nothing less than a bloody gash in the planet's skin.
The eroded channel looked dangerously slippery as well, but it was crisscrossed by roots from a grove of bedraggled trees that vanished into the obscuring haze in the valley below. Even more promising, the trees' wind-ravaged branches dangled just close enough to the ground to use as handholds. It was the best option he was likely to find.
Han had just started his descent when he felt his upper arm seized in an iron grip.
Worry for Luke and hours of suppressed anger caused him to whirl and glare at the Dark Lord. "Let go of me," Han snarled, wrenching his arm back.
He barely managed to move the leather-clad arm.
Vader merely stared at him as if debating a decision he had only grudgingly made. "Luke is uninjured," he finally said.
Han glared. He wasn't in the mood for the "Force reveals all" claptrap he knew he was going to hear from Vader, not with the kid's life at stake. "Then you won't mind if I go and find that out for myself, will you?" Han asked, loading the question with as much sarcasm as he could manage.
Vader cocked his head to one side, but released the grip on his arm. "By all means, Captain Solo. It was most churlish of me to impede your progress."
Han swore he heard amusement in the Dark Lord's voice, along with a darker hint of malice, and it was just enough for Han to stay his headlong plunge through the grove. Crossing his arms over his chest, Han asked tightly, "So, I take it I won't enjoy the outcome very much if I go down that way?"
Vader had already moved further along the ridge line, but he turned gravely to face Han again. "You may not, but I would find it vastly entertaining."
Inclining his head to Han, Vader turned and walked several more meters, almost disappearing into the whirling mists, before he started down a path that evidently only he could see. It certainly looked like an impenetrable wall of tangled undergrowth to Han.
Swearing aloud in several dialects he didn't remember learning, Han followed Vader down toward the unseen valley floor.
Han was forced to move faster than he would have liked to keep up with Vader. The undergrowth was definitely much thicker here, and while Vader seemed to pass through with no impediment at all, it seemed every frolicsome palm frond and fern in the forest had to take turns slapping Han across the face.
It almost made Han homesick for his favorite brothel back on Corellia.
The terrain leveled out fairly quickly though, and Han stopped abruptly when he looked up and saw open sky at last. They had come to a crystal clear, vaguely "C"-shaped pool - its far reaches enshrouded in the perpetual mist. Except for the comparatively gentle slope they had just descended, the pool was surrounded by steep, forbidding cliffs. The roaring sound Han had taken for the wind turned out to be a narrow waterfall cascading down the rock face on the left side of the pool, leaping from crevice to crevice and expanding outward over the fern-covered rocks like an extravagant bridal veil. Those few stalwart sunbeams that were able to penetrate the mists reflected off the water droplets and generated a shimmering, gem-like cascade of iridescent color.
When Han finally tore himself from the view, Vader had almost disappeared into the tall undergrowth. Encouraged by its access to the sun, the plant life in this small valley filled every square centimeter of ground and in most places was taller than Han. Han could therefore see only the top of Vader's head as the Dark Lord detoured around the trunk of a mangrove tree that hovered over the water's edge. The tree branches gravitated as much downward over the water as they did toward the open sky, but the tree still reached a respectable height as it strained toward the light filtering down the canyon walls.
Using that towering tree as a focal point, Han warily pushed through the vegetation to find Luke sitting next to the "arm" of the pool closest to the sloping valley wall. The kid looked okay, although thoroughly waterlogged.
Surprisingly, Vader was crouched down next to Luke - a pose that seemed somehow inappropriate for the fearsome Sith Lord. Han watched as the kid nodded wearily to something the Dark Lord must have asked.
Vader then stood, looked down at Luke and held out his hand.
Luke seemed to hesitate only briefly before he accepted the outstretched hand, and Vader lifted him easily and carefully to his feet. Vader steadied Luke when he swayed alarmingly, and such was the kid's exhaustion that he didn't move immediately away from Vader's presence. Both hands resting on Luke's shoulders, Vader waited with no hint of impatience until the kid had time to steady himself.
Han was amazed. If he didn't know better, the Sith Lord almost acted concerned - a word Han never expected to use in the same sentence as Darth Vader.
Then the Dark Lord looked up and caught Han watching them. Vader immediately switched his grip to encircle Luke's upper arm and started to pull him along.
Luke appeared startled at the sudden movement, stumbling slightly as he looked up at Vader, but he didn't resist the Dark Lord's presumption. Again, not a standard response for the normally willful, headstrong kid.
The whole situation with Luke and Vader perplexed Han. It didn't make sense, and Han had found from hard experience that the things which didn't make sense often came back to kick you in the butt.
And since Han knew there were plenty of other things on this planet lining up for just that opportunity, he didn't feel the need to add to the list.
Vader, however, didn't give Han time to dwell on it for very long. "We shall stay here for the night."
Han felt his eyes widening. "You have got to be kidding."
Han heard what sounded like a deep sigh coming from Luke's direction while Vader merely stared at Han like he was some particularly loathsome bug.
"Okay, so you're not kidding." Han looked around at the tangled undergrowth and wondered how many unseen things were out there waiting patiently for a snack. "You mind tellin' me exactly where in this little patch of paradise you're plannin' on staying?"
Vader looked pointedly at the towering mangrove.
Han groaned. "Not in the tree. I hate trees."
Before Vader could respond, a high-pitched, ululating screech came from the grove of trees through which Han had almost descended. It was obviously not human. In fact, it sounded amazingly like a blaster about to overload, but it cut off abruptly with a ghoulish finality that couldn't be mistaken for anything else.
Especially if the munching sounds coming from that location were any indication.
Han cleared his throat in the suddenly abject silence that followed. "But I guess I'll make an exception just this once," he said.
Catching a movement out of the corner of his eye, Han turned and saw Luke tugging experimentally on the arm still held firmly in Vader's grasp. Vader looked down at him, and they gazed silently at each other for a few moments. Luke looked away, then nodded once, and Vader promptly released the boy's arm.
As Han watched Luke limp slowly away, still without saying a word, Han decided that things had definitely taken a turn for the weird.
And speaking of which. . . .
"So, Your Lordship, why did you . . .?" Han gestured with a sharp flick of his head toward the grove of deadly trees, which were even now disappearing into the mists and encroaching twilight.
While the forest came alive once more with the sounds of nocturnal wildlife, Vader stared at Han long enough that he thought the Dark Lord wasn't going to bother to reply.
"I feared your body would attract scavengers," Vader finally said, just before he turned to follow Luke.
"Gee, thanks," Han said almost to himself, then called after Vader, "Glad to know you care!"
But Vader was already almost out of sight in the gathering darkness. And after another wary look around, Han wasn't far behind him.