Updated 12/7/15

/ Lily /

Back at school...

"Professor Dumbledore and I have come to the conclusion that on the night the Dark Lord failed to kill you, some sort of connection between you two were made. The evidence suggests that at times, when your mind is most relaxed and vulnerable - when you are asleep, for instance - you are sharing the Dark Lord's thoughts and emotions."

Still mad, I glared across the desk at Severus. "And what does this have to do with me receiving extra lessons with you? I'm top of the class in potions."

After sharing the extremely vivid experience with Nagini, Voldemort's snake, it was believed that he had possessed me. That some part of him was inside me, controlling me along with Harry.

Though I didn't want to admit it, I was afraid that this kind of thing was dangerous and I was scared I was going to hurt somebody. And I almost did.

The night of the incident, I felt this sudden hatred for Dumbledore while talking with him. Some anger bubbled up inside me, ready to come out. I nearly attacked him, and if I did, I'd never forgive myself.

But the Order decided, though this was something to watch closely, it was nothing too serious as long as we kept it a secret. So we did.

"The headmaster thinks it inadvisable for this to continue. He wishes me to teach you how to close your mind to the Dark Lord," he says evenly.

Suddenly, I remembered the large old looking book I unwrapped Christmas morning.

"Occlumency," I say. "That's why you got me that book."

He nodded.

"What about Harry?"

"I will be teaching you separately."

I took a moment to let that sink in. Harry, receiving private lessons from Snape.

"I think you two will have a GREAT time together," I say, rather smugly.

"Yes, I'm sure we will," Sev says, though his voice dropped sarcasm.

I tried to stifle my laughter as I thought about it more.

"You may go now, Ms. Potter," he says, motioning towards the door.

I nod and strut out of his office, letting my robes billow out behind me, playfully mocking Sev's bat like appearance.

"Very funny!" I hear him yell out before I was out of ear shot.

At dinner...

Once we were done with our meal, the lot of us would be heading to the Room of Requirement for our first DA meeting since before break. That's why I made sure to sit at the Gryffindor table, so Draco wouldn't ask where I was going.

I took one last swig of pumpkin juice before slamming the empty glass on the table.

"Can we go already," I whined.

"Stop fidgeting so much," complained Hermione who sat next me. I stopped moving my leg up and down, realizing that I was constantly hitting her.

"Yeah, why're you all excited for?" Ron said, ripping off a piece of a roll and sticking it in his mouth.

"You know why," I say, leaning across the table at Harry.

Rolling his eyes, he says, "She just wants to know what everyone's patronus is."

The nearby vicinity burst into questions about learning the ultimate defensive spell.

"Yeah, yeah," I say. "Stop stuffing your faces and lets go."

I pushed out from the table and went upstairs.

In the room of requirement, I impatiently waited for everyone to show up.

Once it looked liked most everybody was there, I announced what our lesson would be about.

"Expecto Patronum. A spell that's sure to come in use in the near future."

"Now, I want everybody to know that this is a magic well beyond any of our years. It's very complicated and tricky," Harry goes on. Then, passing out some bits of chocolate to everyone, he says, "Now don't go too hard. But if for some reason something happens, have a little bit of this. It'll help."

"The trick to performing the spell correctly is to think of the happiest memory you have. Once you have it, say it loudly and clearly and you should get some good results."

Then, I watched as kids paired off, practicing it.

I couldn't help, but be mesmerized at how well everybody was progressing. Throughout the meeting, every single person ended up producing at the very least, a silvery wisp of light. Though no one had made an animal show up, they all were happy enough with their results.

I was so proud to think that after just a few weeks of these meetings for the DA, the mournful looks of helpless people put there by Umbridge and the current state of our world vanished, replaced by stronger, more determined faces.

That day, ever single person in the room walked out looking ready for anything coming their way.

As we all filed out of the room of requirement, Harry stops me.

"I wanted to ask you," he says, slightly nervous, "how-how do I, I mean should I ask, Cho to Hogsmeade? You, know this Valentine's day."

I smiled.

"I knew something was going on between you two! Hermione and I figured the two of you had kissed before leaving for the holidays."

"You knew?"

"Of course. Now, it's obvious Cho likes you, so all you have to do is ask."

The corners of his mouth turned up and he adjusted his glasses.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thanks, Lily. I wasn't quite sure if there was some sort of thing I had to do first." Together we walked out, but before we got to the point where we went our separate ways, Harry asks if I want to come with him to the Gryffindor common room.

"Oh, no, I can't," I say, stopping to stare into his eye. "I have to make up some potions. With Snape. Remember?"

"Right. See you later. And good luck," he whispers.

Going down the hall, towards the dungeons, I turned right into the potions classroom.

I trudged through the door, dropping my things on a desk and making my way to the back to Severus' office.

Inside, I was alone, accompanied only by the hundreds of potions ingredients lining the walls.

Bored, I walked towards one of the shelves and picked up a random bottle to examine, rolling it around in my hand.

"Put it back," Severus says, flocking into the room, slamming the door behind him.

I shoved it back, the sound of many glass phials clinking against one another echoing throughout the room.

"Why am I here?" I ask.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answers to."

I closed my mouth, deciding it wasn't worth the time, but then stupidly opened it again.

"What's the point anyway? I saved Mr. Weasley's life with it. Otherwise he would've bled to death before finding him."

I jumped back as he slammed his hands onto the table in front of me, spitting out his words.

"Has the thought ever occurred to you that not only can you see through him, but the Dark Lord now has access to your mind as well? Everything you see and do is no longer for your eyes only."

After a few silent moments, he backs away and asks if I had cared to open up my book on Occlumency and read it.

"Yes," I say. "I read through chapter five."

"Good, so you know the basics. Clear all thoughts from your mind and do your best to block me out."

He gave me about three minutes before he attacked.

I could feel it. Like an invisible hand reaching into my mind, trying to grab onto something, anything. A thought, memory, or any kind of emotion. But I wouldn't feed it. Instead, I thought of the invisible hand; that was the only thing I could picture.

Then, finally, I gave in just as Severus pulled away, leaving me to hold my head in between my hands. I took a couple of deep breathes before I felt it again.

Letting out some form of a groan or exclamation of agony, flashes of Fred and I at Hogsmeade. Then, Harry and I visiting Hermione one summer. That was followed by a quidditch match from an earlier year.

"Stop-" I yelled out.

"You need to control it!" Severus screamed back. And again he went.

This time terrible images of Cedric being struck down came as I stared into his glazed over eyes as he lay lifeless. Next to him, a reformed Voldemort stood, emitting a vast green light from the tip of his wand.

"You mustn't let your fears show though! Keep everything hidden," Severus instructs as he releases me.

"I wasn't ready!" I shout at him

"The Dark Lord will not strike when you are ready. You must learn to be prepared at all times."

I take my hands off my knees, preparing for him to go again, trying to wipe my mind blank. But I was only able to hold him off for a short while before he broke through.

I bent over, gasping for breath, listening to the blood rush through my ears along with the pounding of my head in a massive headache.

Then, he dives back into it, lunging at me (mentally) like a cobra sinking its fangs into its prey over and over. Much like Nagini to Arthur.

I try to stop it, but instead I slipped up, allowing him to read into me, seeing horrifying images of Fred, battered and bloody, surrounded by other dead version of loved ones, one of my greatest fears.

He pulls out, but I hastily make sure he doesn't.

Summoning the strength to stand, I do so and walk out.

"I think we're done here," I through over my shoulder.