Stockholm Syndrome BPOV Chapter 12
Previously:
I spun around and was greeted by a beautiful, strawberry blonde vampire with yellow eyes. She smiled in a sickly sweet way at me and extended her hand in a greeting. I refused it, not knowing who she was and her brow furrowed at my refusal.
"Well, I can see that Edward was right about you. You must be Bella and I can see that everything Edward told me about you was correct. I guess I can say 'pleased to meet you,'" the new vampire sneered at me. I don't know why, but I felt a twinge of jealousy at her speaking about Edward and about Edward talking to her about me.
"The pleasure is definitely not mine," I shot back and went to head back to my room.
Before I made it out of the living room I heard an unfamiliar, yet familiar laughter sound out and I spun around. Edward stood there, his arms wrapped around the new vampy bitch, laughing as she kissed his neck. My blood suddenly surged through me, boiling with an intensity I had never felt before. I hurried out of the living room and locked myself in my room. However, I continued to hear the disgusting conversation of him and her, which made me jealous beyond belief.
Why the fuck was I jealous? He didn't matter to me. Well, actually, that was a fucking lie. He did matter to me and that shit pissed me off. This asshole had tried to kill me and now had a hold over me that I wasn't willing to admit to anyone, let alone myself.
But seeing that skank on him like he was the fucking shit was just irritating me. His attention wasn't on me! I had never been one to want the attention of others, but with him it was different. He looked at me like I was desirable, even if it was just the desire to eat me.
I had to get up and busy myself with something to keep my mind off of them, and him especially. I began by unpacking the bags that someone had brought for me and put them away. I discovered that the drawers and closet already had some items in my size already in them. Then I made my bed, something I never did at home. Finally, I looked at the shelf of books that was above the dresser. I had already read all of the titles on the shelf and wasn't in the mood to reread any of them at the moment. I had only killed ninety minutes and wasn't in the mood to go back out to the spectacle in the living room.
I spent the next two hours lying across the bed, staring out the window at the sky. It was December 21st. Only four days until Christmas. I doubted that I would be celebrating this year given the circumstances I was in. I thought about what I would have bought Charlie and Renee, a new tackle box and some books respectively. I probably would have had friends at school too by now…what would I have bought them? Would they have purchased me anything? That line of thinking made me even more homesick than normal and I quickly became pissed off that I was being held captive here instead of being there.
My stomach growled, tipping me off to my impending hunger. With nothing to do I was eating more often than normal it seemed. I made up my mind to head to the kitchen, ignoring the asshole and the slut on the way, and make myself something to eat.
I walked to the kitchen and started to make myself a sandwich. I tried to ignore him and her but they were just all over each other. It was disgusting! The way she would look at him, like he was desirable! Grr! It was impossible to not watch them, glare at them, see her touch him. I was ready to scream when the worst, yet best happened…Edward came over to talk to me.
I tried to ignore him but he spoke anyways.
"Good day, Bella. How are you doing?" Edward asked in a timeless manner of charm.
I glared at him before speaking. How was I doing? Did he really just ask me that? I wanted him to stay and go away simultaneously, the away being the stronger emotion at the moment. So, I responded to his question with one of my own. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
He didn't look deterred by my remark but the others in the living room seemed amused.
"Oh I'll never go away. Haven't you heard that I live here?" Edward replied with a smirk on his face.
I wanted to wipe that smirk right off of his face but his remark made a smirk wiping reply a bit difficult so I waited.
"I hope you don't mind that Tanya will be staying with us for a while. You do tend to stay in your room a lot so I didn't think you would," Edward said, attempting to make conversation. Everyone in the living room was watching to see my reaction it seemed. Well, I had one for them.
"Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn," I spat at him. The living room was silent, everyone staring at us with wide eyes. Apparently no one spoke to Edward this way. Well, I wasn't 'no one'.
"Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine today? Wow Bella, I expected some manners from you towards our guest," Edward replied.
How dare he say something about my manners! I had manners where he didn't! I didn't attack random people and hold them captive! But, I changed my tactic and tried to hit him where it hurt. "I certainly hope you are sterile because the world definitely doesn't need another you running around. One of you is bad enough!"
Edward's jaw dropped. He looked like he didn't know what to say but quickly composed himself and replied. "Why thank you, Bella. That was a lovely remark towards me."
"Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure," I spoke as I picked up the sandwich I had prepared and a bottle of water. I turned to walk away and Edward reached out and grasped onto my elbow. I spun around and shot daggers at him with my glare, yanking my arm out of his grip. "Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me again?"
Edward didn't reply and the living room peanut gallery was completely silent. I turned away from him and retreated to my room, shutting the door seconds before loud laughter exploded in the living room. Even from this distance, I could hear it.
Oh my god! I was so pissed at myself for being jealous! God I'm so fucking stupid! But, you have to admit that he is something worth being jealous about. No! No he isn't! He is a fucking masochist who is holding me captive! You have to admit that he has treated you quite well, all of them have. And he hasn't done anything to hurt you. Excuse me? Well, since that first time. But he's tried to redeem himself it seems. Why do you have to try to reason with me? Because it's my job. But I want to hate him. I DO hate him! Hate is good, it's a passionate emotion. Typically you hate something you have strong emotions about. You hate something you actually truly love because you are afraid of feeling the overwhelming love for it. Shut up! Quit being my inner voice of reason! But that's exactly what I am. Besides, Edward is fantastic to look at, he's a phenomenal kisser, and his fingers…what they did to you earlier… Don't remind me. But you need to be reminded. He woke something up inside of you and you know it. That was just a typical human reaction. My body reacting to his. I could have done that with any man who touched me like that. But would you have dreamt about that man like you dreamt of Edward? … See! Just admit it! You like him! NO! End of discussion!
And I shut my conscious off before it could make me reason any more with myself. I didn't need it telling me how hot Edward was, or how hot he made me when he kissed me the night before. Or, how seeing him with that bitch had made me jealous. I wasn't sure if she was a bitch or not, but with his arms around her, that made her a bitch in my mind because I wanted his arms… SHIT! I couldn't think like that! I needed to stop before it caused more problems. I needed to just bide my time here until they let me go. Eventually they would have to, wouldn't they?
I was pulled out of my thoughts by laughter, his and hers, in the hallway. Then there was the thump of someone hitting the wall followed by erotic noises! My hands curled into clawed fists at my sides as I fought the urge to go rip her off of him and take her place. NO! NO! I couldn't do that! I didn't want him! Oh, who the fuck was I trying to kid? I fucking wanted to be the one moaning his name! After the way he had heated my body last night, I could almost overlook the whole drinking my blood slip that he had enacted. The last straw was her moaning, fucking moaning, his name!
I stalked across the room, flung the door open to reveal her all over his fucking body in the hallway, and spoke before I could stop myself.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I screamed as they stopped moving suddenly.
The bitch turned to look at me over her shoulder and batted her eyelashes at me. "Oh sorry! We just couldn't wait until the bedroom," she said with a sly giggle.
"Did we disturb you, Bella?" Edward asked in his velvety smooth voice, tinged with desire.
"Fuck yes you disturbed me! How could anyone not be disturbed when she was practically fucking you in the middle of the fucking hallway?" I screamed at them.
I was oddly aware of a commotion around the corner of the hallway but ignored it; sure that it was the rest of the Cullen's trying to watch the action. They all seemed to be voyeurs. It must be a vampiric trait or something.
"Sorry about that!" the bitch said in a sickly sweet way. "We'll just move this to the bedroom…" she continued, her words heavily laced with innuendos as Edward reached for the door handle of his room and they disappeared within.
The soft core porn noises started back up immediately and I wasn't going to sit around and listen to them so I stalked back into my room, yanked on a pair of shoes, grabbed a coat that was hanging in the closet, and stormed towards the front door.
I was stopped before I got to it by Alice. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked, eyeing me speculatively.
"For a fucking walk so I don't have to hear the fucking porno being filmed across the hall," I spat at her.
She quirked an eyebrow at me like she wasn't going to let me go. Then, Rose appeared beside me and offered to walk with me, ensuring that I would return. Alice sighed and opened the door for us. I stomped my way out of the house and down the stairs, eager to put as much room between me and them as possible. The green monster of jealousy was clinging to my back the entire way.
Rose was quiet as I walked down the dirt drive. She had thought to bring a flashlight, as it was quite dark outside. I hadn't even considered the temperature or time of the year in my agitated state. All I had thought about was getting far away. I had been walking for god only knows how long, probably close to an hour, when my walk slowed and Rose paced herself to match me. Finally I stopped when my anger had walked itself most of the way out and just stood there.
"Penny for your thoughts," Rose said, breaking the silence after a few minutes.
I turned to look at her, glowing softly in the cold December night. I didn't know if I should tell Rose what was really bothering me or not, but she had been nice to me from the start, even with saving my life. Before I knew it I was rambling out everything to her.
"He is just so fucking infuriating! He thinks that he can have anything or anyone he wants, namely me! And I can't stand the asshole! Now he has this bitch in there, all over his dick in broad fucking daylight, and doesn't even have the fucking decency to use a fucking bedroom! FUCK!" I screamed out. My breath visible all around me like steam from a pot of boiling water.
I was panting by the time I was done and looked up at Rose, whose eyes were wide with surprise at my outburst. She didn't say anything for a moment, acting like she was mulling over everything I had just verbally vomited on her. Finally, she spoke.
"So, let me get this straight… You think he gets what he wants and is an infuriating asshole. You can't stand him but you are bothered by him being with someone else. Right?" Rose asked.
"N…no!" I shouted. She had twisted my words around on me. She had to have!
"Bella! You said the words, I can repeat them for you verbatim if you need me to. But, long monologue short, you like him."
"WHAT!" I screamed out. What was this fucking vamp chick smoking?
"If you didn't feel something you wouldn't be so worked up about him and Tanya, who isn't a bitch by the way. She's actually quite nice."
"I don't feel anything for him but hatred, repulsion, and disgust!"
"Say what you will but you don't get this pissed and jealous when Emmett and I kiss, or Alice and Jasper, or even Carlisle and Esme. The only one that bothers you is Edward. Just accept it for what it is, jealousy, emotions. Something is there, Bella, and you know it, can feel it."
I just stopped talking. She was fucking right and I didn't want to admit it to her, let alone myself. Rose took advantage of my silence and began a pro-Edward campaign.
"He really isn't that bad, once you get to know him and why he acts the way he does."
"Really isn't that bad?" I protested. "Remember, he is holding me captive!"
"Well yes…"
"And he did try to kill me, or did you forget?"
"No, I didn't forget. But he hasn't tried since then has he?"
"No…," I trailed off and Rose started beefing him up again.
"In fact, he has been quite the pro-Bella person ever since he… Well, ever since he calmed down about you. He was the one to fight for you to see your dad. He went to your house and gathered some of your items so that you could have a bit of home with you. And, he has been trying to do everything to get you to see that he isn't the deranged vampire he appeared to be when he first met you."
"But that doesn't give him a reason to be an asshole and to have attacked me in the first place! Does it?" I challenged.
"No, it doesn't But, there is a reason he became the way he was. I say was, because he has been changing. You can't see it, but I can. I remember him before it happened, and remember the change that overtook him. And now, you're bringing out the old Edward we all loved."
She had me curious so I had to bite.
"What happened to him?" I asked.
"That's not my story to tell. If you want to know you'll have to ask him. Now, can we head back to the house? Your lips are turning blue."
I hadn't realized how cold I was until that exact moment and I was suddenly shivering violently. I started to walk but the steps were slow and shaky as the extreme cold penetrated my body, my bones.
Rose quickly swept me up and rushed me back to the house. The door opened before we even got to it and a blanket was thrown quickly around me. I was put down on the couch as a few more blankets were added, my body still shaking violently under the covers and clothes.
I heard an angry hiss-like conversation taking place between Carlisle, Rose, and, surprisingly, Edward. It looked like they were blaming her for my being so cold. I tried to tell them that it was my idea to take off on a hike in the freezing winter air, but my jaw was vibrating so much I couldn't speak without sounding like I was stuttering. I heard something about negative two and I quit listening. It hadn't felt that cold when I had marched outside earlier. But I had been too pissed off to notice much of anything.
Esme appeared with a mug of hot tea and helped me sip it to warm me from the inside out. It felt scorching against my lips but warm and cozy as it trailed down my throat. I detected the strong taste of whisky and honey mixed in with the tea, making me gulp it down faster. I loved hot toddy's.
Esme procured another mug of deliciousness for me and I eagerly drank it, feeling my body finally begin to warm all over. I still couldn't feel my toes, but they could be attended to later. All I knew was that I was beginning to feel the effects of the whiskey. I had always had a low tolerance to alcohol, and I don't think Esme knew how much a human could handle. As I finished the second mug, I handed it back to her in hopes for a third but Carlisle stopped her, making me scowl at him.
I had the sudden urge to go to the bathroom and began to get up, only to be pushed back down by Esme and Alice. I tried to whisper that I had to pee but it seemed everyone heard. It even appeared that Edward seemed a bit embarrassed at hearing my words. Strange…
Alice insisted on escorting me to the bathroom, something about making sure I didn't get out and try to become a popsicle again. I just laughed it off, blaming the whiskey for the comment. I was sure I had heard her wrong.
Thankfully, Alice let me go inside the expansive bathroom alone and I relieved myself, washed up, and headed back out, intent on going to bed. I protested a bit when Alice wouldn't let me, but Rose and Carlisle appeared and told Alice it was fine. Rose accompanied me inside of my room and took up a spot on the couch with a magazine while I entered the closet to change into warm pajamas.
I noticed my bed was a bit lumpier as I climbed in, discovering an extra blanket on it that I was thankful for. I snuggled in under the covers and let the whiskey do its work as I fell deep asleep in the lavish bed.
I awoke hours later and it was still dark outside. I looked over to the couch but Rose wasn't there, Tanya was…
Oh shit! What the fuck did she want? I tried to play opossum and pretend I was still asleep but she had seen me awake and sat up expectantly. I wanted to roll over and ignore her but something told me not to.
"Bella? Can we talk for a moment?" Tanya asked as she stood up and crossed the room, sitting on the foot of my bed.
"Where's Rose?" I asked, ignoring her question.
"She went out with the others to hunt. Carlisle and I stayed behind to keep an eye on you. How are you feeling?"
"Warm," I said as I stretched and sat up some in bed. I didn't know what time it was but I felt well rested somehow.
"So, can we, you know, talk?" Tanya asked again.
"Um, sure, I guess."
"I want to apologize about earlier, my actions with Edward," she began and I cringed with jealousy as I mentally pictured them again. "I hope you know that there's nothing going on between us. The whole show was just that, a show, designed for you."
"For me?"
"Yes, to try and get you to realize that you feel something for Edward. He won't admit this to you yet, but he has fallen for you and can see no other. He was extremely hesitant at first with the plan for him and me but Alice showed him that it would work so he went along. I mean, he and I aren't strangers either, so some of it was natural. But, anyways, it didn't mean anything, and if it makes you feel better, I'm sure he was picturing that it was you the entire time."
What…the…fuck? A fucking act? For me? He wanted me like that? Oh my mother fucking god! This shit was more twisted than that soap opera that had an enchanted midget that turned into a doll for some witch.
And what was worse was that their plan had fucking worked. I couldn't get him off of my fucking mind and I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't feel something for him. I wasn't sure what that feeling was, but there was something there.
I kept pondering it as Tanya stood up and headed for the door. She turned before exiting to say her parting words.
"Sorry about it all, Bella. But its better that you realize it, trust me. Get some sleep and I hope to see you again someday."
With that, she exited the room and I flopped back into the pillows. I didn't fall back asleep for some time, instead thinking about Edward, my feelings, and how I wanted to discover exactly what I did feel for him. I know I was being kept here against my will, and that they had taken me from Charlie and he probably thought I was dead by now. But, for the first time, I didn't want to run away exactly. I wanted, no, needed to figure this all out before it drove me crazy. I finally drifted off to sleep as the sun began to make its appearance over the trees.
When I woke up again the sun was high in the sky and there was a tray on the foot of my bed. I sat up and lifted the lid to reveal a dish of fresh fruit, half a bagel with cream cheese, and a small carton of orange juice. I dug in eagerly, famished beyond belief.
I finished my breakfast…lunch…brunch…whatever meal it was, and headed to the bathroom for a human moment. Once I finished, I retrieved the tray and took it to the kitchen, ready to thank Esme for the meal. However, Esme wasn't in the kitchen…Edward was.
He turned to me and smiled slightly, as if he was unsure of how I would react to him. He reached for the tray and I handed it to him, then turned to walk away.
"Bella?" Edward said softly, my name falling from his lips like the most beautiful melody ever.
I turned back around and looked up at him. His face was a mixture of uncertainty and resolve.
"Can we talk for a little bit?" he asked, his eyes searching mine for the answer.
He must have seen the answer there because he motioned for me to follow him and led the way to the living room area, sitting in the arm chair as I settled onto the sectional. I pulled a blanket down off the back of it and snuggled in, waiting to hear what he had to say.
Edward looked like he was struggling with his words, but determination washed over his features as he looked at me, his eyes a burning liquid topaz. He opened his mouth to speak. The words that came out were the ones I least expected.
"I'm sorry…"