It was just after dawn when Hawke presented herself to the Qunari at the gate. She was freshly scrubbed, unarmed save for the little dagger at her back, and entirely alone. Fenris should have been here. Fenris was supposed to help her do things that terrified her. But she had run Fenris off in a fit of pique and now she had to do it alone. She had to prove, to herself at least, that she could do it alone.
The man said nothing, just looked her over before he opened the gate and stepped to one side. She nodded anyway, as if at some command to be good, or be quiet, or don't walk on the grass, and walked through, looking far more confident than she felt. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at the Arishok, presiding there on his bench in his compound in the docks of Kirkwall.
He looked her over as well, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, "Have you come for the tamassran, human?"
Hawke felt her face grow hot as she blushed, but she cleared her throat and tried to ignore it, "No, Arishok. I…" I'm just here to start a war, no big deal, "I came to apologize. For my behavior the other day."
"Parshaara," the Arishok answered, barely moving, "It is done."
Hawke tilted her head. She didn't understand the word, but the intent was clear, she was being dismissed. She didn't move, either.
"You're still here, human."
And you're a brilliant little beast. She didn't say that outloud, either. Rather, she got right to the war starting, "I killed your men."
The Arishok narrowed his eyes slightly, but gave no other reaction before speaking, "I heard. Impressive."
Hawke raised her eyebrow. Impressive? She walked towards the stairs and lifted a foot before she was stopped by an unknown Qunari, one of the men lining the poor man's excuse for a dias, stepping in front of her. Hawke ignored him, staring at the Arishok.
He watched her, his eyes still narrowed as if not quite sure what to make of her before he gave the slightest of nods. His man reached around Hawke, pulling her dagger out and tossing it to one side. He reached for her elbow, but she beat him to the punch by pulling her arm back and resting her hand, featherlight, on top of his.
While the man considered this development, she gathered the front of her robes in one hand and gave him an expectant look, not moving forward. If he was going to escort her, she was going to demand he do it properly.
Seeming to decide that whatever craziness she was pulling wasn't liable to be fatal, he led her up the stairs, his hand held stiffly in front of her. He stopped at the penultimate step, letting his hand drop though he didn't move back, still looming there at her side, a warning that didn't need to be spoken.
Hawke smoothed down the front of her robes and looked back to the Arishok, "The mage," she started before pausing. She didn't even know where to go from there. Why did he have to be chained? Why did he have to die? Why am I such a threat to you that you would sew my lips together to stop me from talking? "He wanted to be returned to the Qun. So I let him go. They killed him."
The Arishok tilted his head at her, "Good," he said.
She waited, but nothing else was forthcoming. Finally she took a breath and asked the question in a soft voice, "Why?"
"You would not understand and I will not explain it to you."
A flash of anger made her speak without thinking, "Who answers for the Qun if not you?"
That got their attention. The arishok stood up and another man slid forward from the right, leaving her now surrounded with hulking, horned men, "The Qun does not answer to you!"
She could feel her hands shaking, an uncontrollable trembling racking her back and shoulders. She knew she looked exactly as she felt, a frightened little girl shaking her fist at the great, uncaring darkness. She didn't entirely care. This answer, she would have, "How else does a child learn if not by asking?" Her voice shook, wavering. She didn't care about that, either. She could do this. She could do this, without Fenris to stand between her and the terror.
A bare second passed, motionless before the Arishok sat back down, his elbows again on his knees, not a trace of anger about him. This man took mercurial to previously unheard of levels, "Sit and be silent, human," he said, "And learn something."
The other two men moved away, leaving her alone at the top of the stairs. She looked around. There were no other chairs available so she bent down slowly and slid onto the top step, every movement calculated so as not to cause alarm. She got herself seated at the Arishok's feet and looked up at him as he watched her. She let out the breath she had been holding when he looked away and seemed to forget her.
Who's the dog, now? She relaxed into that thought. She deserved it.