Chapter 12: Stress

Izzy, George, Christina, Burke, Addison, Mark, Derek, Audrey, Jaccob, The Chief, Emily, Olivia, and every other surgeon in SGH was pacing the waiting room for Meredith and her team to get out of the OR. She had been in surgery for over 4 hours, and they were all getting nervous. Finally the elevators doors opened. Meredith exited, still with her surgery "clothes". She pulled off her surgery cap as she walked over to everyone. Derek stepped forward and gave her a hug.

"Hey," he whispered in her ear

Meredith pulled away and gave him a weak smile. She then walked over to the Chief.

"Meredith?" he asked.

Meredith looked up at him.

"Well, her injuries are extensive. But,"

Meredith looked around. Everyone was hanging onto her every word.

"I managed to get the majority of the blood clots out. She's in the ICU now recovering. Needless to say, her first surgery was a success. But she will need more,"

Everyone sighed a sigh or relief. The Chief hugged her

"Thank you Mer,"

"Chief, she's the freakin Nazi. It would be strange not to hear her voice 2 hallways away,"

Everyone laughed a nervous laugh. Derek hugged Meredith again. She then bent down and hugged her kids.

"Hey kiddos. Mommy's had a long day. What do you say we go home and watch your favorite movie huh?"

The kids hugged their mom and Meredith straightened up.

"I've got an intern watching her every move. I'll be calling in periodically to check in. Olivia, if you don't mind, I'd like you to stay with her too." Olivia nodded and left the group. "And if you guys don't mind, I'm going to go change and go home."

Meredith smiled and walked back towards the elevator. She stepped into the elevator, as well did Christina, Izzy, and Addison. Meredith smiled.

"Guys, I'm fine. Just tired,"

"You've been through a lot this past month," Addison pulled her into a hug.

"We've all been through a lot this week," Izzy joined the hug.

"Eh, why not?" Christina joined the bear hug group. The group laughed as they headed up to the Resident's Locker Room.

------

"Mer's really been through a lot hasn't she?"

"Mmmm. She has,"

Mark and Addison were leaving the hospital and were heading towards their apartment.

"Raising two kids, having a husband that's on leave, and being called in for all these surgeries. It's hard to believe that this was the same Meredith Grey that was scared and broken huh?"

"She's Meredith Shepherd now Mark. And not really. She's still kinda scared and broken. Just not as much,"

Mark looked over at Addison.

"Addie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing,"

Addison didn't look at Mark, but out the window of the car.
"Addie,"

Addison sighed.

"I don't know. Meredith has the life I never got with Derek. She's a world-renowned surgeon. She has Dr. McDreamy as her husband of 7 years, and also has two kids. Derek could never give me that. And then him getting injured and now Bailey. Don't you see what's happening Mark? One by one the staff is getting hurt. It won't be long before it's one of us. And when it is, maybe this time Dr. Miracle Shepherd can't fix us up Mark. I'm scared."

Mark pulled Addison into a hug (luckily it was a red light).

"Addie, I promise nothing more is nothing going to happen. I don't know what's going on, but it's not going to last. So what if Derek couldn't give you what you wanted? You have me now. I can give you whatever you want. Addison Montgomery, I love you."

Addison looked into Mark's eyes.
"For some reason I don't believe a word that you said. The light's green."

Mark sighed as he continued to drive. He drove in silence for the next 15 minutes.

"Then what do you want Addie?" Mark asked finally turning into the apartment parking lot and parked. Mark turned to Addison, who was still looking out the window. She finally turned to Mark.

"I want to go to bed and pretend that these last 20 years to be a dream Mark. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I regret sleeping with you. I regret coming to Seattle. I regret marrying Derek. Mark, I just want to erase my life, and start over with you. Not Derek...you."

Addison's eyes were filling up with tears. Mark reached over and held her.

"I know this must be hard. I'm sorry, but I wish I could have a magic eraser, but I don't Addie. But what I do have is this,"

Mark pulled a small box out of his pocket. Addison let out a small gasp.

"I know this isn't a eraser. But it's the closest thing I have,"

Addison stared at Mark.

"Mark. I-I don't know what to say. I-I can't accept this. At least not now. Can we just go up and go to sleep. I'll sleep on the couch tonight," Addison looked into Marks' eyes. "But, give me time. What has happened in the last month is a shock. But…I love you too Mark." Addison kissed Mark lightly on the lips. She smiled and got out of the car leaving Mark staring at the ring, wondering what he did wrong.

----

Meredith fell asleep on the car ride home. Christina offered to drive the Shepherd family home and Burke was following them, so Chistina would have a way to get home. She looked over at Meredith. She looked peaceful with her head up against the window sleepling.

"Now you know what I wake up to every morning," commented Derek. Christina looked in the rearview mirror to see Derek smiling at her.

"Uh huh. And if you saw Burke sleeping, would you expect me to say the same?"

Derek laughed

"No, because that would just be weird,"

"Thank you, now shut up and go back to sleep,"

"I was never asleep,"

"Well maybe you should,"

"Why?"

"Because you're giving me a headache,"

"Well maybe I should treat it,"

"You will if you shut up,"

Derek and Christina laughed as Derek looked out the window. He felt his daughter's head on his lap. He looked down and started to stoke her hair. Christina looked back and smiled.

"You look so harmless when you do that. I can't believe that you hurt Meredith and then brought these kids life,"

Derek looked up.

"I can't believe it either. Trust me, if I could, I'd erase Addison, and just jump to Meredith,"

"So you guys didn't have any 'chemistry' did you?"

Derek sighed

"At the beginning yes. Then she couldn't have kids, and I really wanted kids. I went into a deep depression. Worked late. Tried to avoid her every chance I got. Seeing Mark in bed with her opened my eyes. When I came here, I found a new window of opportunities. I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know why I didn't sign the papers that day. I wanted to try to make Meredith understand what I had before and that I wanted to try to make it work. I didn't know then how much I loved her and how much I was out of love with Addison. But that just matters worse. I've always loved Meredith, and I always will,"

Christina smiled as she pulled into their driveway right when Meredith woke up.

"Are you telepathic or something?" asked Christina

Meredith laughed

"I know the way home so well, I knew where we were at, at all times. And I heard you two talk. I was asleep, but in light sleep. Derek, I love you too and I always will, but you got some explaining to do," Meredith smiled at Derek. He laughed. Christina rolled her eyes.

"Well you guys are home. I guess I'll see ya tomorrow at work Mer?"

"I guess," Christina hugged her friend, waved good bye, and ran over to Burke. Derek came over to Meredith, holding Audrey, and Jacc's hand. Meredith smiled. She took Audrey into her arms and headed up to the house. She opened the door and gently laid her daughter on the couch. She went straight towards the kitchen and poured her self-a large cup of Tequila.

"Hey," sighed Derek as he walked in. Meredith nodded her acknowledgement and took another swing.

"Mer, do you really think you need to be drinking that,"

"Derek, I just operated on Miranda Bailey. I think I deserve this," she took another swing. Derek shrugged as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He watched Meredith get herself drunk. Finally she collapsed in a fit of tears. Derek came over and hugged her.
"I'm so stressed. First you, then Bailey. What if it's Christina, or Izzy, or you it's you again? And this time, I can't mend it. Derek I'm scared! Then I hear you talking to Christina. Derek you broke me. Then you confess to her why you didn't sign the papers. Derek, you tell her before you tell me! I'm your wife! Derek…I…"

Meredith wanted to punch Derek, but instead she collapsed in his arms.

"Shhhhhhh. It's okay Meredith. You're just stressed. I'm sorry for what I did. I love you, and you understand that. What happened today was a lot. I don't think you should go in tomorrow, but if you want to go. But Meredith, understand that I really and truly love you and everything that you do and say. I would never regret a moment that I married you."

Meredith looked up into his eyes. She broke away after a few seconds.

"I-I gotta call Dr. Uinks," Meredith left the kitchen, trying to wipe away her tears away. Derek watched his scared and broken wife walk away. At least she's in the making of being put back together. Derek sighed and drank the rest of his coffee, before going to put his kids to bed.

A/N: Long chapter YA! Don't get me wrong...Addison and Meredith are friends. Just that day was a lot to take in. More to come soon! Hope you enjoyed it!