Chapter Twelve
Author's Notes: Here's chapter twelve! Enjoy! : ) Thanks to those who read and reviewed!
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Jennifer had left the room mere seconds after Woolsey's dismissal; Laura right behind her. Evan had offered Ronon a sympathetic wince before trailing after his feminine friends.
Woolsey too, had soon split; muttering something about taking a horse pill. Surprisingly, Teyla had volunteered to help in delivering Neeva back to her barracks; Carson and Rodney too had vacated; and this left John, Ronon, and Kiryk in the briefing room.
The other two men were silent as Ronon groaned to himself; letting his head fall forward and closing his eyes.
"You okay there Chewie?" John asked, spinning his chair to peer at his friend.
"Yeah," Ronon grumbled, scrapping a hand over his forehead.
"I'm sure Doc'll cool off in a while," He assured, "She's probably just all emotional from relive all that."
"Yeah," Ronon repeated, but he didn't look convinced, "Sure."
Kiryk had stood, and now leaned his behind on the thigh-high filing cabinet, "Jen worried over most of her decisions. She was completely competent, but when we kept trying, and nothing was working, it took a lot from her. And then for you, of all people, to point out all of those insecurities," The ex-Runner trailed off; leaving Ronon with the realization, and John inquisitive,
"What'd you mean? Why him of all people?" The Lieutenant Colonel wanted to know, causing Kiryk to turn a look to Ronon that clearly said,
You haven't told them yet.
Ronon answered with a subtle shake of his head.
John glanced back and forth between the two of them; the only clear point was that he was missing something, "What?"
"I need a walk," Ronon declared abruptly, standing and striding from the room without a backward glance. This left a puzzled John to stare first at Ronon's retreating back, and then at Kiryk's smirking front.
The two men stared at each other. Kiryk remained half-seated on the short filing cabinet with his arms crossed over his chest, his stare lazily appraising with half-closed eyes. John leaned as far back in his chair as it would go without tipping him backwards and out; his hands clasped loosely atop his stomach, meeting the blue eyed ex-Runner stare for stare.
As the minutes ticked passed, it became obvious that John was going to get nothing from Kiryk in regards to Ronon and little Doc, and damned if he didn't admire the other man for it. To break the tension, as was his way, John asked in an almost lighthearted tone,
"So, when Doc described me to you—what'd she say?"
One side of his mouth curled up into a sort of half smile, "She took her fist, placed it on top of her head like this," Kiryk demonstrated as he spoke, "And then she did this," He released his fist so his fingers made a sort of claw on top of his head. It could be compared to the Lieutenant Colonel's haphazard hair cut.
Aw, Doc, John smiled, "You want to get something to eat?"
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He caught up to them as they halted in the corridor to let a group of scientists by. He followed until they entered a little used lounge,
"Why are you running?" Evan asked as the girls flopped onto the sofa, and he chose the chair beside it, "Somebody light a fire under you back there or something?"
"What?" Jennifer tried hard to feign nonchalance, "That was just a conversation."
"Uh huh," Laura muttered disbelievingly, before commenting, "That was some spirited conversation back there hon. Something you want to have a conversation with us about?"
"No."
"Jen," Laura began, then trailed off as the blonde-in-the-brunette flipped said hair over borrowed shoulder and asked,
"What?"
"You are so full of it," The Marine called foul on her Doctor-friend, "You said there was something you weren't telling me, but that you would. So spill it all ready."
"Well, Laura, I," Jennifer sent a pointed glance in Evan's direction, and then so did Laura. Their glancing and peering at each other continued for a few moments until it seemed to click for him and Evan protested,
"Hey! That's not fair!" He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, "Quit doin' that."
The Major pouted and the Doctor shot him a quizzical look, while the Lieutenant laughed,
"He wants to be part of the inner circle."
Evan nodded firmly, "You can't throw me out just because I'm a boy. What happened to equal rights and all that?"
"Did you seriously just play that card?" Laura sputtered, while Jennifer pulled a cushion from behind her and launched it at him.
He was late in deflecting it, so it caught him in the ear on the way by, "Quit trying to wound me woman. I need those."
The next shot was aimed decidedly lower.
"Hey," This one he managed to catch in time, "Was that some kind of implied slam?"
Borrowed shoulders shrugged, as she replied saucily, "You tell me."
Glancing between the two of them, Laura muttered, "Okay now I feel like I'm the one who doesn't know what's going on."
"Nothing," Evan answered immediately; which of course only served to make her all the more curious. Which Evan knew, and so he hastened, "C'mon now Jen. Story-time."
Snickering, Jennifer acquiesced, "All right."
"Finally," Laura sighed, slumping back in her seat.
"You're lucky she hasn't got anymore pillows," Evan muttered grumpily, and then Jennifer reached for her shoe, "Shutting up."
"Good boy," Jennifer smirked, making herself comfortable again as she seemed to change directions, "You guys remember the fake quarantine last year?"
Evan nodded silently, and Laura was the one to ask, "The one where the city thought there was an outbreak, but there really wasn't?"
"Yeah, well, when that happened, I was trapped in the infirmary," Jennifer swallowed, remembering, "With Ronon."
He wanted to make a joke; had a good line in his head, but he kept his mouth shut and instead; nodded along. He could see Laura doing the same.
"We just started talking, and we got to know each other," Jennifer said simply, a tiny shrug to emphasize her confusion with the ease at which the relationship had started, "And we started spending more time together. I'd figured out I was pretty much useless off-world by then," She held up a disarming hand as both of her friends made to protest, "Especially in combat situations. When Teyla and I were kidnapped by the Bola Kai, I was more of a liability than anything. So after my hands healed from falling into that pit with McKay and Carter, I asked him to teach me."
Dear Lord. She was setting it up for perfect one-liners, but he'd been cowed into keeping quiet, so he was left with listening to Laura asking, "How to fight?"
"Jen, I would've," Evan paused, and at the redhead's harrumph redirected, "Either of us would have showed you how to fight."
"I know," Jennifer acknowledged, "But Laura was back on Earth for a few weeks, and you were swamped with the new recruits, and I," She sighed before admitting, "I wanted to spend the time with Ronon. It was a win-win. I learned self-defence, and I got to spend time alone with him."
"Aww," Laura smiled, "Our girl's growing up."
Evan rolled his eyes. Girls.
"Things just kind of progressed from there," Jennifer leaned a cheek against her palm for a second, "Things were progressing from there when I was hooked to star in Revenge of the Body-Snatchers, and by the sounds of it, from there it all went to rot."
"Yeah," Evan apologized, "Sorry about that."
"We did try to talk you out of it," Laura informed her, and Evan added,
"I do recall an entire conversation comprised of really? McKay, really?"
"I can kind of see it thought," Laura admitted quietly, leaving Evan to goggle and gape at her,
"What?"
"I spent a few days in McKay's head," She began and Evan shuddered, "Very funny sir, but he's sort of cute; in an exasperating, socially clueless kind of way."
"Exactly," Jennifer agreed, and instead of the disheartening feeling he had swirling in his gut showing on his face; Evan let a disbelieving one take over it,
"Ri-ight. Because his flaming assholery is just so adorable."
"You are such a guy," Laura laughed, teasing, and Evan's reply was a complete return to his sarcastic glory,
"Glad to see you were present and accounted for that day in Health class Cadman."
It was Jennifer's turn to snicker behind her hand as the two of them flirted away. Evan's unconscious jealousy, and Laura's unconscious spurring of it was amusing. And they made jokes about her love life.
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"Well aren't we friendly?" Neeva remarked snarkily as they marched through Atlantis' corridors to return her to the barracks. The procession was silent; it had been since they had exited the briefing room, until now when it was Jennifer's voice broke disdainfully. But knowing it wasn't Jennifer behind her voice raised Teyla's ire all the more.
"If you believe goading me will entice me into helping you escape; think again," Teyla bit out frostily, her intention to completely cut off any hope the intruder might have of sympathy from the 'Lateans. The body-snatcher had all ready propositioned Major Lorne, Lieutenant Cadman, Captain Reynolds, and probably any other Marine within earshot. None of them had so much as lingered on the possibility, and Teyla was determined to quash the idea from intruder's mind.
"Wouldn't dream of it," The sarcasm wasn't near gone from her tone as Neeva returned, "Maybe I'm just looking for a rousing conversation. Ever think of that?"
Teyla's response was to remain stoic; quiet, all the while mentally plotting the remainder of the way they had to traverse before they arrived at the barracks and she would no longer have to listen to her. But instead, the silence left the prisoner to musing;
"She's not a part of your team, she's not one of your people," Neeva listed associations off as though not belonging to them should disqualify Jennifer from Teyla's pool of friends, "Both Sheppard and McKay dote on the pretty little doctor. Evan has practically adopted her; she's far closer to the redhead than she is to you, and you cannot tell me that I'm the only one who has seen what Ronon would do for her. She's got your entire team wrapped around her little finger."
"You think your skewed observations should make a difference on whether or not I choose to help you?" The Athosian ground out, forcing her hands from balling into fists. She tried a deep breath, but it did nothing to quell the rising frustration and annoyance that continued to build. She needed to meditate again soon, perhaps, "She is one of them," Teyla informed Neeva, her tone stating and you are not as clear as a bell, "She is one of us. So do not expect any of us to sympathize or to even entertain the idea of assisting you. Loyalty may be a concept you do not understand, but it is a highly valued commodity here."
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He'd found himself alone in the gym again. He seemed to be wandering here a lot lately; a constant whenever he was on base in the past few months.
They'd talked briefly; flirted on his ever-increasing visits to the infirmary; shared meals with the other members of his team, and Lorne, and Cadman. It was after the quarantine initiated by the by the planet's ionic activity that they had begun to really bond. They'd become undeniably closer after that lockdown.
They got closer and closer; and then it came as a complete shock to him to have; what had Sheppard called it? The rug pulled out from under him, when she'd decided not to speak any more than was absolutely necessary to him. The reasoning behind that had floored him. She'd been missing. She'd been gone for two months, and they were just finally getting her back now. Maybe things could finally get back to normal; the way they used to be, if he'd stop putting his foot in his mouth.
What had made him call her out like that? He'd gone after her because he was upset and angry and frustrated and confused. And really, he hadn't the slightest clue what to do about all the crazy feelings rioting in his gut. He hated indecision, hated feeling powerless; hated feeling like he'd failed her. If they'd—if he'd noticed something, anything sooner they—he could have brought her home, fixed this for her, instead of her having to fight her way home on her own.
"Oh hey."
Ronon turned as he heard the footsteps faintly approaching, and was greeted by the soft-spoken feminine voice and Jennifer standing just inside the door way. She was a brunette, instead of blonde, brown irises instead of hazel, her features more angular, figure sculpted differently, and a bit taller than she was supposed to be. But it was Jennifer, his Jennifer nonetheless, and soon she'd be returned to the petite blonde he knew intimately. The one who was just tall enough to tuck the top of her head comfortably under his chin, and snuck her hands up the back of his shirt to press them against his warm skin when they got cold, and constantly chewed on her lower lip whenever she got nervous.
Taking a few steps further into the gym, her borrowed hands met just in front of her abdomen, "I, uh, I didn't expect anyone to be here. It's so late."
"Couldn't sleep?" He guessed, taking steps forward without realizing it.
"Nah, too jittery," She replied, shaking her head, "You?"
He cracked a lopsided grin, "Something like that," Ronon wandered to one side of the gym. Crouching down, he dug a pair of bantos rods from a duffel bag, "Here," He extended the bantos rod out towards her before tossing it to her as he neared again, "Let's see how rusted your skills are."
Catching the proffered bantos rod with a grin, Jennifer maneuvered Neeva's body into the familiar fighting stance; just as he'd shown her when they'd begun their sessions months ago, "All right-y then tough guy," She teased, her eyes never leaving his form as he stalked in a circle around her, "Let's go."
As he started another circle around her; she poked out with the end of her stick, and catching him in the side of the leg.
She moved with him; watching, following his every move and gauging the next. She managed to block or dodge most of his shots, wobbling a little on her feet as she moved too far to one side. But there was the same fire and determination behind those miss-colored eyes that brought the smile back to his face. She was braver with her strikes now; possibly from the need she'd had to utilize those skills. They had kept her alive, let her protect herself, and he was exceptionally proud of her.
"Good, good," Ronon grinned, evading one of her strikes.
Thwack. Thwack, thwack, thwack. Thwack, thwack.
"You still mad at me?" He asked after they'd been sparring for a few minutes; the only sounds in the room were the bantos rods connecting; wood against wood, and the occasional noise called from their efforts.
Jumping back to avoid his swing, Jennifer replied, "I wasn't really mad at you. I was more upset with myself."
"Why?" He was circling her again; and she was shifting quickly to keep her eyes on him and her borrowed body poised.
"Because I made the decision," Jennifer explained, "I thought it was the right one."
"It was," Ronon returned decidedly, "You found the cure; Kiryk figured out the cause. It worked out."
"But it might not have," She managed to poke him, once, in the stomach as he backed her towards the wall, "It might have been the completely wrong decision, for all the reasons you said. Do you have an idea how unbelievably lucky it was? To just trip over the cure like that? If I hadn't of done that, I might never have remembered it; let alone found it. And then to have you point out every one of my insecurities," She exhaled steadily, "It hit home."
"I didn't mean to poke," Ronon began, but Jennifer cut his apology off,
"You were right. I shouldn't have gone after you like that. It wasn't your fault that you touched on every mistake I thought I might have made."
"Jennifer, c'mon. If there hadn't of been another way; you would have contacted us somehow. You—you and Kiryk, you saved those people. You made the right choice," Ronon 'attacked' with his bantos rod; which she skittishly managed to deflect, "It was right."
"But, I," She jumped back to avoid one of his swings and found her borrowed body backed against a wall.
"I said that," He huffed out a breath, not at all at ease with the conversation. Feelings in general were not easy for him to talk about; especially since he wasn't much for talking period. Giving a sigh, he began again, "Things haven't been right since you've been gone. I—I—I missed you. I thought you were right there; here; just different. You didn't want me around anymore," The sparring stopped, and in a dejected motion, Ronon's face fell so his gaze hit the floor, "You didn't want me anymore."
"Ronon," Jennifer sighed, her bantos rod falling uselessly to her side, "I'm sorry, I—"
"Shhh," His hand lifted to her borrowed cheek; thumb stroking over the cheekbone, "Don't apologize."
They stood there; silently staring, his hand cupping her borrowed face. It was her; Jennifer, his Jennifer, standing there; looking back at him with a soft smile. And yet, it wasn't. Her body wasn't there; her eyes were the wrong color, the curve of her body different. But it was her; even though the hand that held his wrist was more tanned and callused than her small palm.
Jennifer sighed, inhaling deeply. She'd been waiting for this moment for a very long time. The cat naps she'd survived on during her adventure as another woman had yielded dreams of returning home; of returning to him. She wanted to throw herself at him, let him hug her again and hear him whisper that everything would be right again. And yet, she held back. Of course she wanted that reunion. Craved it. And she could see that he did too.
Their faces hovered closer and closer until there was scant inches between them. She could get lost in his eyes; he watched her, completely focused as if there was nothing else in the world, just them, right then, that moment. Her borrowed teeth worried her bottom lip, her tongue then flickering over the nibbled flesh. His heated groan brought them both back around, as Jennifer answered with a groan of her own. The aggravated sound flew from her throat as she let her head fall forward to collide gently with his chest.
They couldn't do this.
Not when she still wore the skin of somebody else.
"Jennifer," She could feel the rumble in his chest as Ronon spoke; that gravely, ironically soothing sound, "It's okay."
"It's not that," She raised her head, staring once again into attentive green irises and finding something smoldering behind them that made her curse Neeva's badly formed, badly executed plot all over again, "It's not that I don't want this. Because I do. I do. I-I've thought about you so much when I was –away—and I couldn't wait to get back here; back home, with you. I—sometimes thinking about you was what kept me focused, kept me trying to get back here."
"Jennifer," He gripped her hands in his hands, holding her close even though she'd pulled away, "It's okay, you don't have to explain, I know it's been hard."
"Ronon, it's not that—I want to be with you, but not—not like this," He looked puzzled as she blustered on, "Not with me being not me. I want to be me. I don't want her to be any part of this, of us. Does—does that make any sense at all?"
Regarding her carefully, an admiring smile tugged at his lips, affection expressed in his eyes, "It does," Lifting a large hand, he cupped her cheek; his fingers stroking the unfamiliar skin she was soon to shed. As she leaned her face against his palm, her eyes slid closed and she released a quiet, but pleased sigh, "Because I want the same thing. I want you."
Her eyes still closed; her face and neck turned a burning crimson as his words sunk in.