The voyage was smooth and trouble free. Beckett did collapse because of his infection, Brannigan and I took him in and gave him some new medication that had just started to come out. He responded well and by the end of the first week of the voyage, he was able to handle half shifts. Lightoller and Moody came in at intervals to see him and he was honored by their warmth towards him. I didn't think that Beckett had been given that kind of attention if at all during his tenure, so it was all the more poignant coming from his own senior officers.

One day after Beckett was fully healed, the Oceanic was docked and Lightoller stopped in at my quarters, asking me if I wanted to go swimming with him and the other off duty officers.

"Yeah!"

"Do you have a suit?"

"No but I'll improvise." I pulled on a bra and took an old pair of pants, cut them into shorts and slipped them on. Putting my hair up in a braid, I grabbed a towel and joined the men on the lifeboat as they rowed into a quiet bay.

"That's what you're wearing?" Moody and Lightoller eyed me up and down while Beckett gave me a look of appreciation.

"Oh come on! Nobody's gonna notice." I winked and when we got close enough, I jumped off the boat and dived into the water.

Bras were mainstream now and old biddies liked to stay with corsets. Sometimes I would use one but I hated it, finding it too confining for my taste. I wasn't really good at swimming, but I knew enough to keep me from drowning. The officers grounded the lifeboat and splashed in after me. All were wearing old boxers and sleeveless shirts under the sun. The beach was nice and sandy, the trees waved in a gentle breeze. To me, it was paradise.

I swam for a good half an hour, then sunned myself a bit on the beach, watching a pair of crabs mating in a nearby tidal pool. Lightoller and Moody were preoccupied with doing something, I couldn't see, then Beckett came up and sat beside me.

"Lovely view, isn't it?" he shaded his eyes and adjusted his position so he was lying under the trees like me.

"It is. Very picturesque." I smiled at him.

"Forgive me for being so forward, but do you have a significant other?"

"No. Though I did fall in love once."

"Might I ask who?"

"The first officer of the Titanic," I replied. "it just sort of happened."

"Did he go down with the ship?"

"Unfortunately."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's OK. I dealt with my grief and I want to live my life to the fullest."

"That's a good promise to make to yourself and him."

"There hasn't been anyone else since him, but I'm not looking." I said matter-of-factly. Beckett seemed to shrink back a little bit.

"I apologize if I was too forward."

"It's OK, really. I'd be honored if you'd be one of my friends on this ship." I gave him a smile to instill more confidence and forget his embarrassment. We gossiped for awhile and I grinned when he told me that the captain of the ship had a habit of perpetually getting lost belowdecks.

When we started to go back, I saw Lightoller was shooting glances at me and when he helped me on board the ship again, I realized he was staring at my exposed midriff. Ladies back then didn't do that but I considered myself one of the forerunners of the future. Nobody stared at my white lacy bra as that didn't give anything away and all attention was directed to the belly. I was trim as an officer and a doctor and there were no smart remarks made about how I looked.

There were no new patients when I got back in, so I threw a long white coat over my body and checked up on the current patients. Brannigan was doing a good job keeping them and I told him so.

"Thank you, Dr. Van Doren!" he beamed happily. "You can take the night off if you want!"

"I think I will! I've got saltwater in my hair." I went away into my quarters and showered off all the sand and seawater profusely, choosing my long white pants, shoes, white shirt and white uniform jacket. White was the standard color for traveling in the warmer climate and I couldn't say that I was surprised by that. I put on the hat and went up to the bridge.

Moody took me in for the 4 hour watch, instructing me on all the stuff they had to do and made sure that I knew how to navigate. Taking lessons from him was invigorating in itself, taking me out and telling me which celestial objects to look for. He tutored me for the better part of an hour and when it was dark out and no more things I needed to learn, he leaned on one of the telegraph controls and looked at me casually.

"What?"

"Did you know that Lightoller has been acting a bit weirdly?"

"No, I haven't had much time to come down here." I leaned against the doorframe of the bridge.

"He's acting a little lightheaded if you will... I can't really describe it."

"Huh. Soon as the shift's up, I'll go and get a blood sample from him. He might be anemic."

"You're not officially on watch!" Moody scolded me. "He'll be in his room now, doing some paperwork. Go!"

"Fine!" I giggled and grabbed the necessary supplies. Lightoller was sitting at his desk, writing a letter to his sister when I came in. He looked up at me in surprise as I put down the tourniquet, needle syringe and a blood vial. "Roll up your sleeve, Charles."

"Which one?"

"Both of them. I need to take some of your blood to test. Come on, hike 'em up!" he gave me a look of flabbergast as he meekly obliged, taking off his jacket and rolling up the sleeves to his white shirt. I tied on the elastic and checked the veins in his arms, picking out a good candidate and swearing when I lost it a few times. Picking out veins to tap sure was tricky and I had so much difficulty with it in med school that I nearly flunked phlebotomy. Finally, I found one and without a word, put in the needle. I had to draw back a little bit and was rewarded when a welcome spurt of his dark blood flowed into the tube. Taking enough, I withdrew the needle and bandaged the mark.

"This is where the interesting part of science comes in." I told him, tilting the tube back and forth a few times.

"Why do you need my blood? I'm not sick."

"Moody reported that you were acting a little off and I wanted to check you for a few things. That's all." I smiled sweetly and made to leave, but Lightoller barred my way.

"Charles, don't make me get the Master-at-arms."

"I don't mean to threaten, but can I observe?"

I shrugged. "Fine. I have to get this done quick before the blood coagulates." he didn't understand what coagulating meant but he stood aside and followed me up to the sick bay. I brought out a microscope, one of the new high powered ones that plugged into the wall, then brought out a slide. The microscope kit was packaged into a small flat box and contained a number of blank slides and two bottles of iodine solution. First off, I opened the vial of blood while Lightoller watched me, using an eyedropper to put about two drops of his blood onto the slide. I picked up one of the bottles, unscrewed the top, then added a drop of the solution into the blood. Putting a cover over it, I slid it onto the little stage of the scope, then looked through it.

"Hmmm... normal platelets, two white blood cells.. everything else looks good. Your red blood cells are not anemic." I let him look into the microscope.

"These are my actual cells?"

"They are." he looked for a few minutes and turned to me. Before I could say anything, a sharp pain flared at my back and I nearly yelped.

"What is it?" Lightoller saw the expression of pain on my face and reached out a hand to me.

"Something just bit me."

"Where?" I hitched up my shirt and allowed him to look at my back, since Brannigan wasn't around. "Kat, you have a huge sunburn on your back!"

"Aw, crimeny!" I straightened up and turned to face my friend. "I'm not going to sleep tonight, I'll tell ya! My back will hurt me all night long!"

"Do you usually sleep like that?"

"Yeah! I get the most restful sleep from lying supine or faceup." I started to rummage through the shelves of my medicinal stock. "Where's that aloe oil I used on Lowe's hand? Ah, here it is!" I seized the small jar and turned to go to my quarters.

"Need some help with that stuff?"

"If you please, yes I do." I admitted. "I can't dislocate my arms to do this."

"Thank god for that," Lightoller accompanied me to my room and watched, sitting on my bed as I stripped off the shirt and bra with my back to him, and grabbed a small bath towel to cover up my front top half. I changed into my pajama pants in the loo, then came over to the bed and still clutching the towel to myself, I lay down in the prone position so he could reach my back.

I heard him unscrew the jar and I winced as a slight gust of wind came through the window. Lightoller didn't notice my discomfort then, as he put down the lid of the jar and put a few fingers into it. The smell of the eucalyptus and aloe permeated the room and I sighed, allowing it to soothe me for a moment. The coolness of the mixture soothed my red and irritated back and I closed my eyes in the momentary comfort.

"Not falling asleep on me, are you?" Lightoller's voice made me stir a little bit.

"It's the only bit of sleep I'm likely to get tonight," my drowsy voice sounded. "it's just going to keep hurting all night no matter how many times we put this stuff on it."

His fingers left me for a moment to get more from the jar and slathered it on me. "Would it help you if you were elevated?"

"The only relief I would get is if I was propped up at a slight 90 degree angle." I demonstrated. "My stuff can't exactly help me there."

"Well..." Lightoller said no more as he finished rubbing the salve onto my angry back and I sensed he was moving about though I didn't know why. My eyes had shut and I was already drifting off. I came awake as I was aware of Lightoller sliding next to me onto the bed, his uniform jacket tossed over the chair of my writing desk. He loosened up his shirt a bit, kicked off his shoes, smiled at me, then positioned me as I'd demonstrated before.

"Charles, won't we get in trouble for this?"

"No. Besides, one glance at your burned back and they would understand." he assured me as I got more comfortable. He latched his right hand with my left one and pulled it over so he could see it better. My right ear was over his heart and I had to smile at him. He was so gracious sometimes.

"Now how do you feel?"

"Tired, painful, sleepy." pain flared up but it wasn't as bad as before. Still, Lightoller saw how it affected me and he gave me an encouraging grin, holding my hand a little tighter.

"Go to sleep then." he pecked my forehead.

"Thanks for helping me." I was drifting off and unable to kiss him back. He chuckled once and picked up a book I had with me as my head went down onto his chest and I went to sleep.

I was on the Titanic again and working next to Murdoch. We had just severed a rope from one of the falls and were moving to get the other one cut when the ship lurched and both of us were thrown into the sea. I could see Murdoch floundering in the ocean, trying to reach me as I kept trying to get to him but I never seemed to be able to gain any distance. The guy rigging for the funnels started snapping and I heard a thunderous metallic groaning and creaking as the forward stack fell completely onto a herd of swimmers in the water.

"God!" I screamed out, spying a floating door and I hauled myself up onto it. "Son of a bitch!"

"Kat!" Murdoch's voice rang out clearly and I got over to him like a surfer would, using the door like a surfboard.

"Will!" he clambered up next to me and the door did not sink any lower. He hacked and spit out the saltwater, grumbling to himself for a moment while he arranged himself on the door. I was uncontrollably shivering by then, my whole body wracked with the tremors. "I'm g-gonna freeze to d-d-death!"

If he hadn't already been pale, he would have turned even whiter. "Don't think like that! Please, Kat! We'll get out of this mess alive!"

I exhaled and coughed like someone punched me in the stomach. "Will..."

"Come on!" he propped me up as the ship went through the death throes and I heard a massive bubbling sound as she finally sank. "Tired, are you?"

"Yeah! C-come on, I n-never was cut out for this s-sort of thing!" forcing some energy into my voice was catching me out dearly. Exhausted, I closed my eyes though Murdoch repeatedly told me not to. If it was the type of death I would submit to, I was glad just to drift off into sleep and never wake up.

"Kat, come on, wake up!"

I gave a breathy sigh and kept my eyes closed. Screw everyone else, why won't they let me rest?

"Kat?" that wasn't Murdoch's voice. "Time to get up." Lightoller.

Pain flared up in my back and I remembered what was going on. I'd been swimming the day before and roasted my back with a first degree sunburn. Before I could help myself, a whimper of pain shot out of my mouth and I shut my eyes tightly.

"Kat?" I opened up one eye to see Lightoller looking at me worriedly. "Are you all right?"

Another flare of pain and I shut my eyes tightly again. Damn these sunburns were agonizingly slow to heal! "No," I said with a little laugh. "sunburns always get worse before they get better."

"Let me get the salve for your back." he shifted and a gust of air came in through the porthole at the same time. The air didn't bother me as badly as it had the night before and I could withstand Lightoller's moving about without causing me any pain. I heard him open up the jar again and slather on the salve generously, working it in well between my shoulder blades where it hurt the most. I brought my arms together in front of me and put my chin on my wrists, allowing the soothing smell of the eucalyptus to take away the discomfort.

"You slept like a rock last night," Lightoller told me, his fingers moving down my spine. "I had to get up for my watch and when I came back, you never even moved."

I didn't say anything, just gave off a little sigh as I remembered the dream. It was so real and yet it was fake. The mind was incredibly deceiving when it wanted to be. For a moment I thought that I had died in Murdoch's arms. Why on earth would I dream that? I didn't want to die to be with him and I'd made the promise to myself to live life to the fullest for both of us. Some thought that dreams were like messages from the mind in our subconscious states, but I knew better than to think that. Attaching importance to dreams I completely disregarded and had ever since I was a little girl. My parents had always told me that dreams meant nothing and I completely believed it.

"Kat?"

"Yes?"

"You didn't answer me. I asked you whether or not there were any new patients last night."

"No there weren't. Anyway, how was everything on watch? You didn't bitch out Moody for setting me on you?"

Lightoller sniggered to himself as he put the lid back on the jar. "No indeed. He was off watch by then anyway."

"Good. Charles, did Will serve on board this ship?"

"He did. Why?" Lightoller sat down on the bed next to me and looked into my eyes like he was reading a book.

"I dreamt about him last night," I plucked an auburn curl of my hair away from my eyes and looked at Lightoller almost pleadingly. "it was a horrible dream."

His face darkened. "Might I ask what it was about?"

"Do you really need to?" I sat up without pain which was an improvement, clutching my bedsheet up to my chest to prevent accidental exposure. Lightoller looked down at the floor for a long moment and then turned to me, his eyes full of a mixture of pain and anger.

"Many's the time I've had dreams about it too," he admitted, picking up my left hand and observing my nails. I always had them semi long, maybe about quarter of an inch, buffed and polished with a clear coat. "the infernal ship just won't seem to leave our minds, one way or another."

"Time will help," I was more confident than I felt. "anyway, I should get dressed."

"Meet you in the officer's mess for breakfast." he kissed the back of my hand and I smiled.

"Thank you so much, Charles. You've been a huge help to me."

"Anytime." he left.