Yay! An update! Sorry to say that this is NOT the wedding chapter. It's coming up. Hold tight!
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all things associated with it. I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts.
When we last left them, Edward had gone out to talk to Victoria about his fears of being a shitty father like his biological father. Bella was being tortured by Alice.
Alice was playing Bella Barbie when Edward returned. She looked at him pleadingly. Save me, she mouthed. He laughed, shrugged his shoulders, and made to move away. She grabbed his hand.
"Please, Edward, I thought you loved me!"
"Geez, Bells, you'd think I was torturing you."
"Hey! Are you having a makeover party without me?" Rose said, pushing Edward aside.
"I guess that's my cue to go," he said. He gave Bella a kiss on the cheek before he left the room.
Jasper met him on the stairs. "Hey buddy, long time no see. What's up?"
"I need a beer," Edward said with a sigh.
"It's just barely after noon."
"I know."
"Come on, I'm sure Em..."
Edward cut him off. "I need some Jazz time. Let's grab some beers and go down to the river."
"Gotcha, I'm on it."
Although he felt bad about excluding Emmett, he just really needed some time with his best friend/best man. As it turned out, Esme had already snatched Em and his bulbous muscles and put him to work on that surprise she was scheming up for the wedding.
Edward and Jasper, each with a six-pack in hand, walked slowly toward the river.
"What's up, Edward? Cold feet?"
"No, not about the wedding. I can't wait to marry Bella. I've been waiting for this day forever so I'm kind of glad that we bumped up the date and that she's getting the wedding that she wanted. I really worried that Alice was going to railroad the whole thing and poor Bella would end up walking down the aisle at Westminster Abbey dressed head-to-toe in meringue and diamond tiaras."
"I'm sensing a 'but' here," Jasper said, popping the cap off his beer.
Edward sat on a rock and cracked open his own beer. "There's no 'but', really. Ah, fuck, Jazz, I don't know. I'm stoked to get married and the honeymoon is going to be awesome, I hope. It's just..."
"The baby."
"Exactly," Edward exhaled deeply before chugging down half of his beer.
"I thought you were happy about the baby."
"I am. I'm beyond happy. I'm ecstatic. This is an incredible thing, it's just that I'm scared."
Jasper feigned shock. "THE Edward Cullen is scared?"
Edward looked over at his best friend, smiled weakly and said, "Shitless."
"You're serious, aren't you?"
"Dead."
Jasper put his arm around Edward's shoulder. "Why? You're going to be an incredible father."
"Jazz, can I tell you something? I've only told Victoria about this, and even then, I didn't tell her everything."
"You can tell me anything, you know that."
Edward went on to tell Jasper about how he remembered what happened the night his mother died. He gave him more details than he had Victoria, and he broke down.
"I can remember her eyes staring up at me, blank. They just stared up at the sky. There was a lot of blood; it was on my hands. I shook her and yelled but she wouldn't wake up," he sobbed. "Then he was hitting me, yelling, but I don't remember what he said. He picked me up and threw me in my crib. I think I hit my head because I don't really remember much after that. I remember crying. Esme was crying. I kind of remember the hospital."
"Why didn't you tell anyone? That's a horrible burden to carry, Edward."
"It wasn't until just before graduation from high school that I discovered my 'dreams' were real. I asked about it and when Carlisle told me the details of that night I realized that they weren't dreams, they were memories," Edward said, opening another beer before continuing, "It didn't really mess with me until I found out about Peanut. I was working a double; and was in the on-call room trying to get some sleep when I had a dream. I dreamt that I killed Bella and the baby. I was standing above them, their blank eyes staring at me, their blood covering my hands."
"I'm not sure why you're so worried about this."
"What if I snap like he did? What if it's a hereditary mental condition?"
"Dude, you need more background info before you start freaking out. Have you thought about finding him? Asking him yourself?"
Edward paled. "I never thought about that. What would I say? Do I want to see him? Ugh." He ran his hands through his already messy hair. He drank the other half of his beer before grabbing a stone and tossing it into the river with a hollow kerplunk.
"Maybe this is something I should just file under 'irrational fear' and forget about it."
"Edward, I've known you for what, eight years? Nine? I have never known you to let something go unfinished."
They sat in contemplative silence before Edward spoke again. "Yeah, Jazz, you're right. I'm going to have to let it go for a while. I need to get through the wedding first."
"Talk to Bells, buddy. She'll understand."
Again, silence enveloped them. Edward always appreciated that about his best friend; Jasper never felt the need to fill the silence with inane chatter and he always knew what to say to calm him down. He was the yin to everyone's yang.
After finishing his second beer, Jasper let out an impressive belch. It echoed along the riverbank, sending birds flying from the dense trees. Edward laughed until his sides hurt.
"It's going to be okay isn't it, Jazz?"
Jasper clapped him on the back. "It's going to be better than okay," he said, cracking open another beer. "So, for your bachelor party tonight..."
"Wait! No one said anything about a bachelor party. I don't need one."
"You may not need one, but you're getting one. Nothing too crazy, just you, me, Em and Carlisle getting shitfaced at a bar."
Edward groaned. "Please, no strippers."
"Nope. No strippers, I swear."
"Okay, good. So, want to hear what happened on the flight here?" Edward said, grinning madly.
"Let me get this straight, the flight attendant hit on Edward, apologized, and then gave you permission to fuck in your seats? Man, I am insisting on having my seats scrubbed down next time I fly, and I'm also going to beg to have her as my attendant." Rose fanned her face, which had turned bright red. "That is SO incredibly hot!"
"If it wasn't my brother and sister having the hot sex on the plane I'd be fanning myself too. Wow, some people have all the luck. Jazz and I were in a full First Class cabin. No chance of nookie there; although it might have been fun to try."
"Who is having sex in First Class?" Victoria asked as she walked in.
"VICTORIA!" the girls all shouted, tacking her.
"Hey! So nice to see you all again. Baby girl, come here and let me feel that little miracle bump of yours."
Bella walked over and lifted her shirt so Victoria could feel. "Peanut's still pretty small."
Victoria looked up through an errant cluster of red curls and smiled. "Peanut. Too cute."
Alice flung herself back on the bed, propping herself up on her elbows. "So, girls, here's the plan. We are going shopping this afternoon and meeting the guys in Port Angeles for dinner, where we will celebrate the joyous occasion of the upcoming incestuous marriage of my brother and sister. After dinner we will say goodbye to the men for the night. They will proceed with Edward's bachelor party and we will come back here for Bella's shower/bachelorette. They will be crashing at Casa Swan tonight while we will be dancing around here in our underpants to cheesy 80s and 90s music.
"Tomorrow morning I have us all booked for spa treatments in Port Angeles. After, we will return here and get ready for the wedding."
Bella groaned. "Alice, I said nothing extravagant."
"It's not!"
"But I don't want to be away from Edward for so long," Bella pouted.
"It's tradition. Look, I'll cut you some slack. I think Edward and Jasper went down to the river. Why don't you go see him and tell him we're heading out soon?"
"Thanks."
Bella overheard Alice grumbling as she walked away. "Geez, they've been together forever, it wouldn't kill them to have some time apart."
Rose smacked her. "Go easy. It's her wedding weekend."
She laughed as she walked down the stairs and onto the deck. She took a deep breath of fresh forest air. As much as the dampness used to bother her, she missed it. Walking slowly down the path toward the river, she really took the time to remember the details of this wonderful place; the moss, the trees, the sounds, the smells.
As she neared the river she heard Edward's distinctive laugh and the clinking of bottles. That bastard is drunk! she thought, annoyed. Oh wait, he deserves it, he works ridiculous hours all the time. Let him drink until he pukes, as long as he makes it to the wedding.
"Jazz," Edward said with a burp, "I'm marrying the most incredible woman in the world. Can you fucking believe it?" He was slurring. "I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I am the luckiest SOB on the planet."
Bella hid behind a tree and giggled.
"She's hot, sexy and for some reason she loves the shit out of me."
Jasper lifted his beer. "Cheers to Bella!"
"Jazz, what if I'm not good enough? What if she figures out that I suck and she leaves with Peanut?"
"She won't," Jasper slurred. "She loves you, man. She always has, she always will."
"I hope so. I gotta piss. Be right back."
Edward got up and staggered toward Bella's hiding spot. She popped out to surprise him and he fell ass over kettle.
"Baby! What're you doing here? Am I hallucibeering?"
She laughed, then held out a hand to help him up. He pulled her down and kissed her. His tongue forced its way into her mouth and she reveled in the beer taste. She didn't realize how much she missed it. His hands groped her roughly but she didn't care.
When they broke the kiss to breathe, he sighed. "God, I love you, Bella."
"I love you too, you big lush."
"Man, I gotta pee. Help me up?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.
"That's what I was trying to do before you pulled me down."
"Shorry."
"How much have you had to drink?"
"Five."
"Five beer? Oh, Edward, you're such a lightweight," she teased, pulling him to his feet. "Go pee. I'll get Jazz. Alice said we're leaving for Port Angeles soon. You need to get cleaned up."
Edward lurched toward a tree and fumbled with his zipper.
"Do you need some help?"
"Please?"
Bella leaned around him and undid his pants before heading toward the river to find Jasper.
"Bellsssss!"
"Hi Jazzy, did you get my fiancé drunk?"
"Nah," he drawled, "I got him hammered."
Bella laughed. "Alice is going to kill you, you know."
He paled. "Aw shit, she is isn't she?"
"Yup."
"Crap. Hey, where's Edward?"
"I left him peeing on a tree over...oh shit, Edward!" she yelled, running back toward where she left him. "Edward, you dumb ass. Get off the ground."
He was slumped over on the ground. Bella slapped his face. "Edward, wake up!"
"I'm up," he mumbled.
"I can't even believe this is happening. Jasper Whitlock Hale, when Alice is done killing you, I'm going to slaughter you. Get over here and help me get Edward up on his feet. I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting...hello, I'm pregnant."
Edward's head lolled back and he started to sing: "Havin' my bay-beh, what a wonderful way to something something LOVE YOU! I love you Bella cause you're HAVIN' MY BAYBAY!"
Bella turned her back to the drunken spectacle and dialed Alice's number.
"Bells? What's that awful noise?"
"That," Bella said in disgust, "that awful noise is my fiancé, drunk, serenading me. Your boyfriend is also here, drunk and flailing in his own crapulence. I need backup. I can't get them up there myself."
"Those two imbeciles! Argh. Hang tight, Bells, I'll get Emmett to come help. Man, when I get my hands on them..."
Within minutes, Emmett was storming down the path, a very angry-looking Alice in tow.
Jasper perked up. "Babydoll," he drawled, trying to turn on some of his trademark southern charm.
"Don't even try. You are in so much shit right now. God, Edward! What the hell?"
Edward looked up at her. "I know, I know, I fucked up royally. Bella, love," he hiccupped, "forgive me?"
Bella cupped his face in her hand. "Of course I forgive you, but seriously, what drove you to get drunk in the middle of the day? Are you having second thoughts? Do you want to cancel the wedding?"
Although she'd heard his declarations of love loud and clear, she still had that nagging feeling that something was wrong. "Baby, is everything okay? We can postpone the wedding."
He sat up. "NO! God, no, Bella. I want to marry you more than anything in the world. I'd marry you right this second if I could," he hugged her tightly. "I just needed to let off some steam. I'll sober up before tonight, I promise."
She laughed. "You'll sober up before getting hammered again? That's some flawed logic there, mister. I was just worried. It's just so not you to go out and get drunk in the middle of the day. I was scared that you had changed your mind."
"Never." He kissed her deeply. She fisted her hands in his hair, tossing the moss and twigs she found embedded in his unruly mop.
"Ahem. I was under the impression I was here to do a pick up, not watch you two going at it on the ground. Come on, Edward, let's get you back up to the house. Alice, how's Jazzy doing?"
Alice slapped Jasper on the back of the head. "He'll be fine until I get my hands on him. Now march, mister."
Emmett pulled Edward to his feet, then slung him over his shoulder. Bella laughed as she walked behind them and watched Edward pulling faces at her.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm marrying a toddler and not a doctor-to-be."
"It's a good thing you're not marrying a lard ass, Belly, otherwise Eddie here would still be on the ground."
Edward growled, "Don't call me Eddie!" and slapped Emmett's ass.
"That's it!" Emmett bellowed before dropping Edward to the ground. "It's bad enough your engaging my baby sister in an incestuous marriage and you've knocked her up, but I draw the line at ass grabbing."
"Edward! Are you okay?" Bella stopped where Edward was lying on the ground laughing.
He howled, tears streaming down his face. "Oh my god, that was too funny! Yeah, I'm okay."
He reached to rub the side of his head and noticed that he was bleeding. "Hmm, I'm bleeding. Oh well."
Bella looked at the blood and paled.
"Aw shit, Emmett! Come back!" Edward yelled as he caught Bella.
"I'm not carrying you...oh shit, Bella? What happened?"
"I must have cut my head when I landed. She got woozy when she saw the blood. I'm too unsteady to carry her, can you?"
"I'm pissed that my sister just keeled over, but I'm happy you're bleeding. You deserve it after this stupid stunt you pulled."
"I'm okay," Bella said weakly, "I'm just a little dizzy."
Alice came up behind Edward and slapped him. "Anything else you want to do to ruin my plans for the day? Going to set someone on fire? Oh geez, you're bleeding pretty bad, Edward."
"Am I?" He put his hand up to his head again.
"Stupid blood-thinning alcohol," he mumbled. He took off his shirt and held it against his head as he staggered along the path, his other arm around Jasper's shoulder.
Once they arrived at the house, Emmett set Bella down on a sofa while Edward sought out his father to check the cut on his head. Two stitches later and declared to be blood-free, he went to check on Bella, who was sipping on some orange juice and looking much better.
"I'm sorry, Bella, I really am."
"Are you sober now?"
'Yes, and I've got stitches."
"Stitches? How bad was it?"
"Oh, just a couple, I'm good as new."
She tried to pull his head down to see. "Let me look!"
"No way, I don't want you passing out on me again."
Alice strolled in. "Bella, are you feeling better?"
"Not well enough to go shopping," Edward said. "If you want her for tonight she needs to rest."
"Ugh, Edward, you ruin EVERYTHING! Fine! Victoria, Rose, Esme and I are going shopping for you."
Visions of endless bags of expensive, frivolous items danced in her head. "Oh god, I think that might be worse."
"Edward, if you can stay sober long enough, could you please make sure that you all make it to the restaurant by 7 p.m.? We have reservations."
"I swear that we will have Bella at the restaurant by 7 p.m." Edward held up his hand as if swearing an oath.
"Okay, get some rest. We'll see you in, oh shit, four hours! Girls!" she yelled, "hop to it! We're running out of time."
As soon as they left, Bella curled up with Edward and sighed contentedly. "That worked out to my advantage; I didn't want to go shopping anyway. I want to take a nap with you."
Edward helped her up and led her to the bedroom. "I can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon."
Bella quirked an eyebrow at him, "No?"
"Of course THAT would be an added bonus, but you look like you could use a nap and I thought maybe we could wait until our wedding night."
"That, my husband-to-be, was sweet, traditional, and very romantic. Thank you. So, can we snooze together or is that out of the question?"
"Snoozing is never out of the question."
After getting cleaned up and ready for bed, Bella snuggled into Edward, who wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Sweet dreams, love."
"Mm...you too."
The blood was everywhere. He couldn't wash it off. Her eyes stared blankly at him, mouth agape, blood pouring from it. He tried to make it better. He reached for her to make it stop but she was too far away, yet she was close enough that her blood covered him.
"Edward? Sweetie, wake up."
Why wouldn't the blood stop? Why was there so much? Why couldn't he help her?
"Edward! Wake up! It's okay, it's me, Bella."
He sat up and let out a blood curdling scream. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle all ran into the room.
"What the fuck is going on?" Emmett bellowed.
Bella wrapped her arms around Edward as he shook violently, staring wildly, not recognizing them. She ran her fingers through his hair and hummed quietly to him. Carlisle sat down beside him.
"Edward, son, what is it?"
Edward shook his head to clear his thoughts. Suddenly things made sense. Faces were familiar. What had just happened?
His chest seized up and before he could stop it, a huge sob came barreling out of him. He clung to Bella and cried. So much pain. So much blood. So much sadness. He couldn't keep it in any longer.
Carlisle told the boys to leave the room. He rubbed Edward's back while Bella continued to run her fingers through his hair, careful not to snag the two tiny sutures.
After a few minutes, he calmed down, his sobs turning to weak hiccups.
"Baby, are you okay? Do you want a glass of water?"
He nodded. Carlisle got up to grab one for him.
"What's going on, Edward?" she asked, gently lifting his face so she could see his eyes. Her heart broke when she saw them: red, puffy, swollen, and sad.
"Nightmare," he gasped, "M'okay."
"Oh, sweetie, is it the wedding? Seriously, you can tell me. We can postpone."
He shook his head. Carlisle returned with some water.
"Son, what's wrong?"
"I'm okay," he said before gulping down some water between ragged breaths, "it was just a nightmare. It was probably the booze."
"Are you sure?"
He smiled weakly. "Yes, I'll be fine. What time is it?"
Carlisle looked at his watch. "It's five. We should get ready to leave soon. I'll leave you two do that. You know where I am if you need me."
"Thank you, Carlisle," Bella said, smiling. She turned back to her trembling fiancé.
"Edward, I hope you understand that you don't have to hide anything from me. Don't protect me. I'm not fragile."
"Later, please," he begged. "I'm sweaty. Can we take a shower?"
"Of course, come on."
The hot water and Bella's magical touch seemed to drive away any residual tension from his nightmare. He sighed as she gently washed his hair, trying to keep his stitches dry.
"I'm sorry," he said.
She kissed his shoulder. "For what?"
"Today has been nothing but one disaster after the other. I'm sorry. It was supposed to be about relaxing and finishing up last minute details."
"It's okay, sweetie, there's still all day tomorrow. We're doing fine in terms of wedding arrangements, and truth be told, I'm relieved I got out of shopping."
"Yeah," he said, turning around and hugging her, "you mentioned that earlier."
"So," she said nervously, biting her lip, "are you really okay?"
"I am now." He smiled crookedly at her.
"Are you sure?"
"As sure as I know my love for you is eternal."
"You cheeseball." Bella laughed and threw a loofah at him. "Come on, let's dry off and get dressed. Alice will kill us if we're late."
"Can we please not say anything to the girls about what happened?"
"On one condition: you have to talk to Victoria about whatever it is that's bothering you."
He kissed her forehead. "Okay, I think I can do that."
Alice met them at the door of the pub. Bella looked at her suspiciously, then frowned. "I thought we were having a nice sit down dinner."
"We are. They've got great food and karaoke here."
"SWEET!" Emmett said, clapping his hands.
Bella turned to Edward and hid her face in his armpit.
"We didn't sign up for this, Alice." Edward said.
"Tough titties, Brother Mine. Come on! We're starving."
Alice led them to a long table covered in brown paper. Peanut shells crunched underfoot, making Bella cringe at the sound.
"Edward, I'm scared."
"Don't be, love. I'll protect you."
They joined the girls and promptly began ordering a wide assortment of appetizers before trying to figure out what to have for main courses.
"Oh, I want beer-battered haddock and beer-battered fries." Bella exclaimed as she slammed down her menu. Then she whispered to Edward, "Too bad they don't have poutine."
Edward felt Adam twitch at the thought of cheesy fries, gravy, and Bella's nipples.
"That's a whole lot of beer-battering, Belly," Emmett said, "are you sure you should have that?"
Silence fell over the table. All eyes turned to stare down the big guy.
"What did I say?"
"You are going to deny a pregnant woman the meal of her choice on the night before her wedding?" Alice said, shaking her head. "Would you ever ask Rose that question?"
"God, no, she'd castrate me."
"Then why is it okay to ask Bella?"
The room suddenly brightened with the dawning of his realization. He blushed crimson, casting his eyes downward. "I'm sorry, Belly. I just want to make sure you stay healthy, that's all."
Bella smiled. "It's okay, Em. I wasn't mad."
Alice and Rose were whispering back and forth, giggling and snorting.
"As your punishment, you need to go on stage and sing a song of our choice," Alice said, proudly.
"Geez, Prince Charming gets drunk and splits his head open and I get in shit for this? How is this fair?"
"Oh, Edward will be getting his punishment in due time." Rose said evilly. "Oh yes, Eddie-boy is going to suffer."
Edward swallowed hard.
"Okay, Emmett Swan, time to meet your maker. Your song is Rick Astley's classic Never Gonna Give You Up. Now go on, get on stage."
"Pfft," he spat. "That's it? I spit on your punishment."
Rose and Alice's eyes grew. "Oh, really?" Alice said, flipping through the song list. "If you insist on being like that, you're going to get Edward's song. Emmett, you are now going to be performing the classic crap song, I Wanna Sex U Up by the craptacular man-boy band losers, Color Me Badd. Now get up there and dance, monkey man."
Jasper was laughing so hard there were tears running down his cheeks.
"Oh, laugh it up, little brother. You're not getting out of this free and clear. There's that little issue of you and the groom getting plastered. Just wait, little man."
Jasper stopped laughing, while Victoria, Carlisle, and Esme broke out into gales of belly laughs.
"This is going to be a fun night!" Victoria said.
Emmett made his way up to the stage, embraced his fate and put on a great show. He really channelled his inner cheeseball Z-list boy band side, and danced up a storm, throwing in some hefty pelvic thrusts and a half-decent running man. The other patrons at the bar were loving him and he ate it up. He even groaned sadly when the song was over.
Jasper was up next. He tried to hide under his shaggy hair when the opening notes of Barbie Girl by Aqua started. By the second verse he was actually getting into it, and recruited Emmett to help him with the 'come on Barbie, let's go party' part.
Bella was laughing so hard that she thought she might explode. When she returned from a trip to the ladies room, Edward was onstage, red in the face, pulling nervously on his hair. He looked at Bella and mouthed I'm sorry just as the music began. Short Dick Man by Gilette blared from the speakers and the crowd went nuts.
"Please tell me someone is recording this," Bella said.
Alice turned to her and let her know that they would have a CD of each performance at the end of the night.
When Edward was finished, he approached the guy running the machine and spoke to him. They smiled at each other before Edward returned to the stage.
"Hi," he said nervously, "my name is Edward and I'm here celebrating with my family. See, I'm marrying my first and only love tomorrow evening."
The crowd erupted in applause, several aaws, and a couple of disgusted sighs from various women around the bar.
"Bella, love, I know I kind of messed up today and I hope you can forgive me. I love you, baby."
Crazy for You by Madonna began to play.
Rose and Alice moved to sit close to Bella and the three girls swayed back and forth before Edward left the stage, took Bella's hand and slow danced with her while he sang.
There was hardly a dry eye in the place when he finished. While he kissed her, Alice grabbed the microphone from him, hit the stage and did a hilarious rendition of Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot to lift the mood, since everyone was all gooey from Edward's serenade.
Their food arrived shortly after so they took a break from singing to eat the mountains of beer-battered fare and sop up the vast puddles of grease. Various bar patrons came over to congratulate them, buying them beer. As much as it killed her, Bella turned them down, giving most of them to Emmett.
By the time dinner had been eaten, all non-pregnant people were pretty much drunk. Alice dragged Rose and Bella onstage and sang Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper. Bella rolled her eyes and whispered "how typical" to Rose, who laughed.
"So typical, but so fun! Come on, Bells, let loose!"
The girls danced and sang and laughed like fools. Bella felt so happy at that moment. Her family was there, Edward was beaming at her from the audience and she could swear she could feel Peanut moving around.
Carlisle and Esme got into the fun too, performing I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher. Everyone was laughing and singing along with them. Bella hugged Edward and smiled. "I hope we're like them, someday."
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "We'll be better, love."
I hate to break it off here...there's more "night before the wedding" shenanigans to come. The chapter was just getting way too long. I'll try really hard to get more up soon!
Your reviews are like fuel for my typing fingers.