WARNING: Some strong language and lime in this chapter.

I do not own Inuyasha or any character affiliated with the series.

~.:. Like A Woman.:.~

Brown eyes stared out from behind the window, dazed and weary they watched the man step out of the sleek car. He went around the vehicle and opened the back door, ducking inside he quickly resurfaced holding a sleeping child in his arms. They were like an add in a magazine, both as ethereal as they were beautiful. The light reflected from the setting sun danced in their hair, it cast their fronts in shadows which the mans eyes pierced through, turning his head those very eyes caught her in their smoldering hold.

Rin nodded in return chastening her pulse for speeding, pulling away from the widow she stepped in front of the door and opened it for the pair. Jasper barked from somewhere in the house and ran to the door and out it, she watched him for a moment in the yard and shut the door, letting him out to play for a bit.

"I thought you weren't going to bring her back until ten, what happened?" She asked opening her arms to the little girl.

"Show me where to lay her down." Sesshomaru said brushing past Rin and entering the house.

His tan slacks were perfectly fitted to his legs, 'You really would be thinking that.' She laughed to herself, too tired to even be angry, the white collard shirt he wore stretched over his frame as he leaned down to place Irina in the bed she and Rin shared. "Did she have fun with you and Kagura today?" Rin asked fishing for clues as to who he'd been with.

Sesshomaru straightened and turned towards her, "I wasn't with Kagura, nor any other woman today. I took Irina to her grandparents house for lunch and to see boats on the lake, she fell asleep on the drive here." He answered facing Rin with a blank stare.

Blushing Rin turned and walked out of the room, motioning to him she coaxed him out of the room and quietly closed the door with a soft click.

Swallowing down her nerves she took a deep breath and walked down the dimly lit hallway acutely aware of the fact that he was staring at her. She wanted to smack herself when she wondered if he liked what he saw.

"My mother isn't going to be home for awhile, she went out to Bingo for an all night session," At Sesshomaru's raised brown she smiled, "It's a Monday special type thing. You know, to keep the old folks from doing things they shouldn't at night." She added sarcastically, she could feel herself babbling but she couldn't help it. Her heart was beating heavily in her chest and her stomach was in knots at the very pit of her body.

She'd been dreading this moment but it was inevitable, her pride wouldn't allow her to call Sesshomaru after the incident and cancel even though she'd wanted to with all her being. So she was trapped by her own means to face him and finally clear the air.

'Almost 10 years of stagnant air,' She grouched pulling up a seat for Sesshomaru at the small table situated in the large kitchen, "Would you like coffee? I'll make some for you if you want, but we also have Tea, and I think some Lemonade..." She left the chair out for him to sit in and wondered towards the wooden cabinets, opening the doors she took two cups and opened the large white fridge. "I think I'll drink some tea, it tastes real good, I made it myself." She told him while she poured her drink and continued to spit out whatever came to mind, "Irina's missed you a lot these past two weeks. I bet she almost died and went to heaven when she saw you waiting for her this morning." Looking back at Sesshomaru from over her shoulder she asked him what he wanted to drink.

"Coffee." He answered a frown set deep in his face, "Your face is bruised." He observed after she'd turned on the maker and finally took a seat.

Embarrassed Rin lowered her head self-consciously and laughed sheepishly, "Yeah, Kohaku wanted to take me to a doctor but it's alright, it'll heal."

"Your still talking to him?" Sesshomaru asked glaring at her.

"Of course I am," She snapped, "Not that its any of your business."

"Who my wife sees is my business." He growled before closing his eyes and letting his anger cool.

Rin watched him surprised at his reaction, his hands rested on top of the table clenched for a few seconds then smoothed out over the polished mahogany. His eyes opened right after but there was still a hint of annoyance to be found in them.

"Better?" Rin asked just as the coffee maker beeped. "Coffee's ready."

"Yes." Sesshomaru answered in regards to her first question.

'Of course he's annoyed, its me. He was always, always annoyed when I'd come around, why would that change after all these years?' Rin stood taking his cup with her, "Do you want anything in it? Sugar? Cream? Milk?" She asked pouring in the black liquid, her toes curling in pleasure when the aroma slipped around her.

"Black." He told her, a queer sense of peace seeping in as he watched her take in the smell, her maroon painted toes taping up and down in delight.

She set the steaming mug in front of him and slid a napkin in next to it. "Just in case." She answered his questioning face.

"Okay," She huffed taking her seat once more, "Let's talk, we need to just tell each other everything, me about why I never told you about Irina, and you about what happened while I was gone." Rin said, "You can't cut in while I talk, and vice-versa." Tilting her head towards him she held out her hand, "Deal?"

Sesshomaru nodded ignoring her gesture, "You first." He replied.

"Wh-" She started, cutting herself off before she could start yelling and nodded, "Fine, Ill go first." Fiddling with her cup she tried to piece together the past decade and let her shoulders slump. Leaning back in her chair she began, "I didn't think you would care." Averting her gaze she stared at the brown tea setting in her glass, "We had sex, it was a one night thing, you were drunk and we both know that I...I wanted to be with you." She got out pulling her hands to her lap, trying to hide how badly they were trembling. "You didn't see me that way, I understand that Sesshomaru and I don't hate you for it but I do admit to being spiteful over it." It was like a blanket had been pulled off of her, she was completely exposed like it or not, "You were going to college in less than four months, you were rich, you were handsome, you were just everything I was not so how could you have possibly wanted anything from me, much less a child? I was so desperate to have you, even if it was just for a little while, so I took it. I know it was my fault we ended up sleeping together, I came after you while you were very vulnerable and took advantage of the situation. I didn't think about protection, I just didn't think, that was it. I was so crazy, so stupid and young. I just wanted to have you, no matter what," She admitted solemnly. "When I found out I was pregnant I was already living with my mother and I'd heard that you were dating Kagura. You were already leaving for college that month and a child with a girl you only ever saw as a friend if at that would have ruined all of your plans. I promised myself that I wouldn't do that to you so I kept it to myself. Then mom found out, she told dad but what could they do? It was too late and I wasn't about to give up my baby, it was never even discussed. It was a hard year for me, I was the new pregnant girl, I was heart broken, I was alone. Then she was born, and yes I thought about calling you but when I finally had the courage to pick up the phone one of the maids had said you were out or something like that..." Rin confessed biting her lower lip, "I never tried to call again, it was just that one time. When Irina came out with her silver hair, my Dad suspected she was a Taisho, and when her eyes opened he was sure. Mom cried and cried. The years just slipped by after that, so I thought there was no way you were ever going to find out. Then daddy died and I had to come back to pack away his things, and lay him to rest. I was only going to be here for a few days when Kagome and Sango found out, they let it slip and all hell broke loose." She sighed finally coming to an end, "I didn't want you to ever know because I didn't know how to face it. I tried to protect you both but I ended up hurting you and cheating you both out of a great relationship and I will never be able to forgive myself for it but had I known or even felt just a little bit that you would've wanted her, I would have never let this happen. I love Irina and would never want to hurt her, but I know how cold you are! You might have turned your back on her leaving her with the impression that she wasn't good enough for you, and I didn't want her to feel that, because I know what its like!" Rin cried hot tears pooling in her eyes, "I am sorry for our situation, but I promise to you that no matter what I will never hold her from you." She finished brushing away the wet streaks her crying had left on her face.

They sat in silence for a long while, only the sound of the ticking clock and an occasional passing car present. Sesshomaru studied Rin, her head bowed in shame, eyes not daring to meet his. Her hair was pulled back into a high pony tail, her T-Shirt was an old one, once a deep orange now pale after being washed so many times. He didn't know what he was feeling, he'd read books on psychology books on how emotions work and could name them all by just a few symptoms but he personally had never experienced them. Until now.

Slowly Sesshomaru lifted his mug and took a sip. Although Coffee didn't effect him he liked the taste of it, bitter liquified. Few if any liquids effected him, his youkai was too strong to be overpowered. He wanted her to look at him, so that he could confirm what she'd promised. He wanted her to just bend to his will like all others do. Even if he wouldn't admit to himself that that was exactly what he wanted. He couldn't give in and tell her that he wanted her, whether it was her body or mind he wouldn't say because even he didn't know and if he did there was no chance that he'd say it. As a teen he'd taken her because he'd wanted her, he was sure his desire would fade but after taking her three times that night and when he first saw her after all those years only to find that it hadn't waned in the least he'd gone out of control. Rin made him go out of control.

"Please say something." Rin pleaded, her hands fidgeting beneath the table.

Sesshomaru had nothing to say, he was speechless for the first time in his life and so he started in on the only thing he could.

"I married Kagura six years ago, during the third year of my college education. It would join our families companies and we shared a mutual respect for each other. There would be no complications and the heirs produced would be well bred, it was a mistake, I have learned." He stated.

Rin lifted her head, she hadn't expected him to start on his story just yet, she'd expected him to throw her out a window, or at least growl at her for her idiocy, but not this.

"We had trouble producing a child, after a year I left on my first business trip. I didn't know Kagura was with a child at the time until I got a call from the Doctor telling me that she'd miscarried." His voice never wavered, he never flinched and his eyes certainly didn't fill with pain as he talked only recollection crossed his features if anything, "She has a T shaped uterus, so it is difficult if not impossible for her to have children. Afterward Kagura became very withdrawn and I didn't have the time to deal with her insecurities so our marriage ended less than 6 months later. She filed, I signed. That is all." He said again sipping his coffee.

Rin stared at him, shocked at his coolness and the tragedy of the situation. "Did you ever love her?" She asked.

Sesshomaru contemplated the question for a bit and leaned on his elbows, "Love is fake, Rin. I did not love Kagura but I knew that we could do great things together, companionship was easily established between us."

Her heart sank as he spoke but she couldn't stop herself, "Do you feel any remorse for the child?" She asked fearing the answer.

"I didn't know about the child, by the time I did it was too late. There is no point in caring for the dead." Straightening his back Sesshomaru could only stare out at Rin through glass eyes.

Rin's mouth fell open slightly, as she stared at him, horrified. It was true what he'd said but it was also, so...inhuman to not be able to feel even the slightest for the child although it was true that he wasn't a human the reason still stood.

"Do you love Irina?" Rin asked, desperate with feeble hope to hear the answer she knew would more than likely not be.

Sesshomaru gazed at her with his cold eyes, never missing a beat, "I care for her, she is my offspring. She is mine to protect, and mine to help raise. I have said before Rin, there is no love in this Sesshomaru."

The silence descended upon them once again, suffocating Rin, choking the very breath from her as she tried to grip her daughters as well as her own situation. 'He will never love me, I understand that but can Irina? Can she feel what he says is untrue? What happens when she asks him if he loves her...what will he say? What can he say, hes already promised never to love but I know he cares for her no matter what he spouts out.' She thought as she took the man in, how immaculate he looked. Fresh even though it had to have been hours since he got ready, poise even through their grueling conversation. Her husband was a truly heartless man, and that thought sent shivers down her spine.

"Why did you marry me?" Rubbing her arms she tried to shake off the chill that had just erupted within her.

Sesshomaru pushed back a stray lock of hair that had fallen over his shoulder, and sat still until Rin returned her face to his, when she finally did he spoke, "Our marriage served me one purpose, to no longer mark my child as a bastard."

"Of course that's why..."Rin murmured lowering her eyes to her lap. "You were the only man, Sesshomaru, for me." She said tugging at the hem of her shirt, "I never found any man that could attract me as much as you, even after nine years." Tears had gathered and now fell, angry at herself more than him she continued, "Do you know how bad I want you to want me?" She asked cutting him off before he could speak, "Of course you don't! How could you? You can't love, as long as the relationship offers some sort of advantage to you, you don't give a fuck who your with. Oh as long as she's not ugly, fat or idiotic right?" She growled the tears soaking into the collar of her shirt, drenching her bangs, "Well you got the shit end of the stick, because I am NOT beautiful, I'm not skinny, but I am smarter than you seem to think I am." She yelled pushing back her seat and standing proudly. "I won't force you to stay married to me." She told him after a few seconds of calming herself, "I know I probably won't marry again and I'm fine with that, you have access to Irina whenever you want as long as I don't already have plans and we can divide the holidays." Rin thought aloud.

Sesshomaru who'd been taking in all that she had to say with no comment until now stood to his full height, "We will not divorce, Rin."

Rin rubbed her temples in an attempt to calm the headache that had come with the tears while she begun to pace from the kitchen sink to the table. 'What purpose would it serve to stay with him? He can only hurt you, he can't offer you anything beyond necessities and extravagance...can I stay in this marriage without love?' She wondered. 'Who else would want to marry me, anyway? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life alone?' With a start she gasped when Kohaku came to mind, his smile kind and open, loving and sweet. Handsome in his charming way, weathered from years of working in the sun, sinewy muscles adorning his stout body. He was exactly the man for Rin, he was what she should want and yet...Sesshomaru watched her still, anger fanning in his golden eyes, he had no warmth to offer, no smiles, no words other than the promise to never stray. He was gorgeous with a great elegance, his body was lined with generous muscles he was the perfect specimen when it came to manhood. 'He's all I'll ever be able to see...god it's so true.' Rin knew without a doubt that all she would ever be able to offer was friendship to anyone other than this man.

"You've ruined me for anyone else." Was all she could say.

Sesshomaru smiled then, a cold careless smile. "You will come back with me to my home, tomorrow your things will be moved back." He ordered the smile fading leaving behind a face so calculatingly cold that all Rin could do was stare into them and cry.

'How could you?' She screamed inside to her heart. 'Why couldn't you have loved anyone else? Anyone but him.' She plopped into her chair and buried her face in her hands, sobs shaking her body, echoing loudly in the still house. She was defenseless when it came to him, love had rendered her useless. Years of loneliness had taken its toll, she couldn't stand to be without him. No matter how much she tried to deny it, all he had to do was call and she'd always come, making up excuse after excuse for her actions. He was her sun, her moon, the water she needed to drink, the air she needed to breathe, without him she was just a shell. For nine years she'd dreamed of being with him, and then she was even for that short time only to be extinguished by his hatred and coolness. Those two weeks without him had proved how far gone she was, she'd only thought of him, only dreamed of him. He was so deeply imprinted within her there was no way to erase him.

Rin felt herself being lifted up and out of the chair, she heard the front door swing open and felt the night breeze caress her bare skin, Sesshomaru held her securely in his arms, his scent intoxicating, beckoning her to him. She let her tears fall even as she leaned into his chest and settled her mouth over the silken skin along his neck. She wanted to bite down hard and rip him to peaces just as he'd done to her soul, instead she let her tongue lap at the base, where his pulse ran strong and steady.

Sesshomaru ignored the desire burning through his senses and continued on his way, smug as hell because he'd won. He opened the passenger side door and placed her on the seat, he reached over her, clicked her seat-belt and returned to the house.

Rin held back her sobs as the ache in her heart continued to grow, threatening to never stop. Love was long gone between herself and Sesshomaru, everything dies at one point in time and it seemed Sesshomaru's heart had long ago. She stared out of the window, her head pressed miserably against the glass and watched Sesshomaru step out of the house holding Irina in his arms, the lights were off when he shut the door and made his way towards the back seat.

He lay a groggy Irina in the back seat and strapped her in as well, turning around he whistled for Jasper, letting the growing dog jump into the back he locked them in, then they were on their way back to his home.

The road was dark, no street lights lit the way, the only thing she could see was the crescent moon and some shifting shadows in the trees. It was a quiet drive, Irina snored softly in the back, the air conditioner blew cool wind but Rin only sat her tears dry. They turned and his house came into view.

The roses were still in bloom, the vines climbing up the sides of the house gave it an old-world feel. Sesshomaru parked the car and left to pick up Irina and lead her to their old room.

Jasper followed after them, his lanky body clumsy and shivering with excitement. Rin got out of the black car, shutting the door she sighed and leaned back against it. 'Can I really do this?' She asked herself as she gazed at the moon.

'Did you know that the person who will love you for all time is under this exact same sky?' Rin asked her father,with a sense of wonder.

"I've already found love, Rin." He answered bundling her gangly body into his lap, "She was a beautiful woman, but you have to remember, Rin, sometimes men make mistakes that they just can't erase. I lost my love because she couldn't forgive me, her pride was too much." He murmured, his breath heavy from the alcohol, reaching around Rin he picked up his half-empty bottle and took a long hard swig, "Ah!" He breathed setting the bottle back down.

Rin smiled sadly, "I miss Mama, daddy." She said ruefully, her ten year old self too young to understand that her mother was exactly who her father was talking about.

Rin felt her face heat up at the thought of her late father, she blinked back the tears but failed, they came with a hot intensity, her chest rose and fell with each gulp of air. She didn't hear Sesshomaru come back out of the house, but she only felt him take hold of her hand and lead her inside. She was blind to the world and only felt the back of her knees make contact with a soft surface. She let herself fall back into the bed. She opened her eyes, grateful for the darkness in the room as she hiccuped.

The sheets were like water around her, cold and slick, she pulled a pillow down from its spot against the head bored and lay her head atop it. Rin felt the bed dip under a heavy weight, hands gripped the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head, she barely registered it. Numb from the pain she let her jeans and under clothes follow until she was completely nude.

Rolling over she started with grim determination for his shirt, she un-tucked it from his slacks and started undoing each button, her mouth cautiously nipping at the skin she exposed. She sat up and leaned him back into the sheets, desperate and angry at once. She straddled his torso, her fingers nimbly pulling at the zipper on his pants until they were open and down to his knees. He wore no underwear she learned with a deep blush. Ignoring her shyness she lapped at the crook of his neck, suckling and nipping, her salty tears mixing in with the taste of his skin.

Sesshomaru lay back and watched her, slipping out of his pants he let them fall to the floor, his shirt was bunched at his elbows, just barely hanging on to his shoulders. He leaned his head against the pillows, his breathing heavy with arousal, his lips pulled thin against his fangs. His chest rose and fell brushing against the very tip of Rin's, her growled and pulled her hips down against his, rubbing himself against her with furious need.

Rin closed her eyes and let out a low moan her breathing erratic, her mind completely gone she lay on top of him, her face still buried in his neck, "Please touch me," She asked, "Make me feel like a woman, Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru stilled, thinking about his options he couldn't deny that he wanted her more than any woman he'd ever wanted before, there was no way he could stop himself.

Rin felt her heart sink as the seconds ticked by while Sesshomaru lay unmoving. The tears continued to fall fueled once more when Sesshomaru flipped her unto her back. She gasped and stared up at him, he bent back, discarding his shirt. He was now naked as well, slowly he leaned into her, his lips brushing hers softly, his tongue slipping inside her mouth in silent agreement.

Rin swallowed her tears and kissed him back, hungry and giving she needed him because she knew there was no one else who she could let have her like this. She was never going to stop loving him, he was her first and only love, he was the father of her child and he was her husband.

She knew it may just be sex to him, and he was merely getting rid of a need, but she was making love, she wasn't just having sex, she was giving away her heart.

SUENA: Sorry for the very long wait, I have finally gotten a new computer so the chapters will be coming in more frequently, thank you to all who have read my story up to this point.