Serendipity

by LittleSwanLover

What if two people who came from broken were both trying to figure out how good could come from that only to find family and healing in each other? Or where Regina is a lonely doctor with a dark past that left a little serendipity on her doorstep one night when she least expected it. Child Emma. This is that story. A/U – No magic.

12. The Look

A/N – Some foreshadowing ahead of a few plot points. So far there has been focus heavily on Emma's development, now we get a bit more insight into Regina's too, but still plenty of Emma's.

There is also a new poll on my profile page for an upcoming stories-Please cast your vote for which one you want to read first. I will have time this summer to write one of them.

*Please note* This chapter and a few after will mention and have small scenes focusing on Regina's developing relationship with her friend Mal. There will be light PDA—characterization for Regina's development for a plot point coming—but no sex. If this bugs you then skip over those parts. That being said the focal point of the story remains on Regina and Emma.

Chapter 12 - The Look

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The winding stone path from the driveway gate was illuminated by a row of small lights on either side of the couple's feet as they walked. Hand in hand, they went up to the path to the front steps of the two level home. Older and taller of the two, the woman squeezed the hand she was holding gently as she thought about their night, the romantic dinner, the concert, and the long drive back here.

So much had changed between them since January on the courthouse steps. Little by little they had begun reconnecting. Small at first; like meeting for coffee before work or a phone call during lunch. Then a lunch out or more recently a dinner. Now they were casually dating or she thought they might be. Maybe. It had yet to be defined. Mal purposely walked slower, savoring the warm night with the woman beside her. The corner of her mouth turned up as Regina's fingers interlaced with her own more intimately. Their hands swung gently to the rhythm of a soft humming; the last song that had been sung at the concert by KT Tunstall now passed through red lips.

"You've been humming that tune for the last ten minutes," Turning, Mal's blue eyes took in the profile of her date. The sweet curves of Regina's face and neck drew her eyes lower to red lips parting and then back up again. "What is it about the music that touches you so?"

Regina lowered her thick lashes smiling to herself as her humming trailed off. "Music has always been very personal for me. The passion and spirit of the artist. The music, the words just fill me and take me over."

"That song though… I get the feeling that is particularly important in some way to you."

"It actually reminds me of someone I wish I could forget." Meeting those eyes in knowing and then Regina looked away when she got a nod of understanding. Mal had been invaluable with helping her navigating the legal system to make sure the debt owed her was paid to the maximum extent of the law. But still, that payment had not been enough. Not when she had lost a piece of herself in the process. When he happened she felt like she had fallen into the abyss of herself.

"I wish you could too."

Regina shook her head to clear that night from her mind and frowned thoughtfully remembering the first time she had heard it. "But that song came into my life when I needed it. When I felt like I was trying to find my way in the dark when I was lost within myself. It gave me hope that I would find the light again. Emma needed me and there was only so long I could let myself be in such a state. Music is like that for me." The right time and the right place it had registered and gave her the strength in the moment to pick herself up and keep going.

They stood still once they had reached the front door of her home. Regina reached into her small beaded handbag for her keys. Unlocking the security door and then the main one, she stepped inside only to be instantly bombarded by her daughter's arms around her waist. Not expecting such a welcome Regina stepped back as she encircled Emma in her arms. "Sweetheart, you're supposed to be in bed. Where's Ashley?" Regina asked, looking about for the sitter.

Emma inhaled deeply the fiery scent of Opium, her mother's perfume as she pulled back to look up. "You're home! You were gone forever."

Forever in Emma's world being more than a few hours and Regina chuckled. Her long layered hair cascaded over one shoulder brushing Emma's cheek as their eyes met. A moment later her question was answered as she spied an out of breath teenager at the top of the grand staircase.

"There you are silly! I said it was time for…" Ashley stopped, realizing that Regina had come home early. "Sorry, Ms. Mills. I tried to get her to bed on time." Apologetically, Ashley hurried down the stairs and smiled as she continued. "But Emma here decided last minute to play hide and seek. I was never very good at that game."

Behind them Mal closed the door, chuckling quietly to herself before she came to stand near Regina.

"Oh, is that so," Regina ran her fingers through loose blonde curls as Emma smiled impishly at her. Pretending to be serious she played along. "Well then I think I know one little girl whose going to be wishing she had stayed hidden." Catching Emma by surprise, she quickly attacked ribs with her fingers tickling mercilessly until Emma collapsed begging and laughing to the floor at her feet.

"Okay—Okay! Mom—stop!" Out of breath and her cheeks turning pink, Emma reached up to take the hand offered and stood.

"Alright baby, time for bed. Say good night and thank you to Ashley and go on up. I'll be there soon to tuck you in." Regina leaned forward and kissed the top of Emma's head as she gave a gentle nudge in the right direction of the stairs.

"Thanks Ashley. Good night Ms. Dracon." Yawning, Emma hurried up the steps.

Regina paid Ashley and together the two adults watched as the young woman crossed the street to house down the block. With Ashley safely home and Emma upstairs they were now alone. Regina finally set down her things and walked over to the living room sofa. Suddenly tired she sat on the end, slipping off her sandals and tucking her feet up under her. Mal followed and sat close.

"You spoke to her about calling me Mal, Regina?" Asked in a tone soft and wondering.

Regina sighed. "I did, but Emma can be very particular about certain things and I raised her to address adults formally. Even with my permission she doesn't feel right calling an adult by their first name. She will come around, but for now this is where she is at."

Nodding, Mal certainly understood the reasoning, but part of her longed to hear something more warm from a child she was growing quite fond of. Regina had sought out her help with the adoption of Emma and since that first meeting she had been charmed by the little girl. She had hoped Emma would start to be more friendly—just a little, but knew that would take time in part due to how Emma processed things. Mal thought about the girl's past; all the trials and tribulations the child had faced and would continue to face because of a mentally ill alcoholic. But Regina had changed the course of Emma's life. And that love and commitment Regina had for Emma was one of things Mal loved the most about the woman sitting next to her.

"Do you ever wonder if she…" Mal stopped as her concern registered a tight look across Regina's features.

Reading those unsaid words Regina nodded. "I worry and wonder all the time about Emma's future." She paused a brief moment digging within herself for her feelings, something she often required of Emma and was just getting better at herself, before she continued. "I see her now, even though she is nearly eleven, as such a little girl. Her temperament, some of her behaviors are still very juvenile, even with the progress in her therapy. I do my best not to enable some of those behaviors I know she can help, but some of them she can't because she went without the most basic of her needs being met before she came to me. I won't deny her what she needs no matter where we are or who is around. Not everyone understands that. And that has made things more challenging than need be for us some of the time."

"And that must be frustrating." Agreeing Mal thought for a moment before continuing. "You get Emma in a way no one else does and that is incredibly special. You have done wonders with her Regina. She's a different child since the first time I met her." Then reaching a hand to rest on the jittering knee next to her. Mal met brown eyes sensing just where that mind gone away to. "I know you are still adjusting to her diagnosis and healing from your sister's death, but you can't blame yourself for things you had no control over to begin with."

At how easily she had been read, Regina shook her head. "Emma is my responsibility."

"She is now, but before that. In the beginning, your sister left you with an emotionally and physically hurt little girl, her autism aside. And you saved Emma's life in every way. There's no fault in that to be had. No guilt you own over the matter." Mal tried her best to explain her feelings on a matter they had more than once discussed the last several months; Regina's guilt complex that shouldn't be one. But Regina was Regina and did not open up so easily to explain these feelings. Mal sighed again. Regina's brows were knit in thought, but red lips were pursed in such a way that she knew only some of her words had registered. In truth Mal knew she lacked the familiarity of what Regina was actually going through. But she wanted that familiarity and she suspected Regina did too.

Regina tried a small smile, moving her eyes to her hands folded neatly in her lap. Then she moved to rest hers over Mal's. She took a breath before meeting that gaze once more. "I'm not blaming myself for Emma's past or her condition…" Conceding for the eyebrow Mal lifted in question and rolling her eyes fondly in admission. "Alright, not entirely anyway. I'm just being a Mom. Worry is a built in mechanism you don't choose. You just… do it." She smiled a bit bigger this time showing her straight white teeth. "I love how much you care about both of us and I know I am not the best at letting you show that, but this is me trying."

Mal felt a smile tickle her lips, giving the hand in hers a gentle squeeze. "I see that and speaking of trying. There is a new restaurant I am dying to take you both to next week for your birthday."

"What's wrong with going to Granny's like we already talked about?"

"Nothing, of course." Mal said. "I just thought for the occasion you might like to go somewhere different."

Regina mulled it over liking the idea very much. She and Emma rarely went out to eat and if they did it was always Granny's. But going somewhere different always involved a lot of prep if she took Emma, especially to eat. That's why she kept the routine of eating and shopping to known places and if she wanted to go somewhere new on an errand she left Emma with Granny or Ashley if there was not time to prepare her daughter ahead of time. Still it was her birthday and she wanted to do something a little special and Mal again picked up on her thoughts easily.

"Is there another reason you are hesitant to try a new place?"

"Eating out with Emma anywhere new can be an unpredictable adventure at best." Regina explained.

Smiling. "Then it's a good thing I'm the adventurous type and we can certainly make it predictable for her. What do we need to do?"

Regina blinked at the easy answer and began to smile as she explained the details. She watched for any sign that her instructions were too much. "If you can do that, then I will prepare Emma."

"I will and I'm really looking forward to spending time with you both." The smile from Regina made her heart beat quicker. Going between amber eyes. "I love us like this, together. You, smiling and happy. It becomes you." She moved closer.

Regina felt a warm tingling rush flood where Mal's other hand rested oh so gently on her arm. She turned fully bringing her hand up to a shoulder. Mal lifted her chin, their lips so close. She closed her eyes, leaning in.

"Mom?" Emma's muffled call from upstairs fizzled the spark crossing between the two adults.

Regina moved back, licking her un-kissed lips as she stood up. Calling. "I'm coming baby." She turned back to Mal while smoothing her skirt. "I should go say good night to her. I'll be right back."

Easy and knowing the other reason Regina was moving away, Mal leaned back against the couch and crossed her legs. "Tell her the same for me and take your time. I'll just be right here waiting." Mal ran her hands through her hair; the thick strands catching the light gave her a sultry glow just then.

'Yes, you will.' Regina thought to herself as she ascended the stairs.

Always Mal had been so patient with her need to move slow. But Regina feared maybe it was too slow for both of them. The brakes she had put on their relationship more than once was something that bothered her. She wanted Mal and Mal wanted her. It should be simple, but it wasn't between them in the least. Especially since Emma was and would remain her number one priority, no matter the other relationships she had or would have in life. Her daughter came first. Mal seemed to understand that, but Regina wasn't so sure yet.

She was sure of one thing though. Regina knew in the most private intimate part of her heart, the part of her that had lain dormant in the hope of a lover for so long, that Mal always would be waiting for her. The question for Regina was just how long that wait was to be.

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The bright morning sun streamed through the crack in the drapes and onto the curled up body under the silk duvet. The bed's occupant slept deeply even as the sun warmed the bare skin peeking out from the top of the blanket.

Across the large room the gold knob slowly turned and the door was pushed quietly open to allow a pair of peering green eyes to settle on the room. On tiptoe Emma crept across her Mom's room and over to the edge of the sleigh bed. Taking a small, carefully wrapped box from under her arm she slowly tried to slip it beneath a pillow only to freeze as brown eyes opened.

"Emma, baby… What time is it?" Regina murmured and lifted the covers. Her daughter crawled in and snuggled up. She wrapped an arm around Emma and kissed the back of a blonde head.

"7:30 and I couldn't sleep anymore because I wanted to surprise you." Emma savored the cuddle for moment before her excitement took over and she wiggled around under the covers to turn and face her Mom.

"A surprise, huh?" Sleepy, the corner of Regina's mouth turned up like her voice did at the end.

"Uh-huh, but you have to do something first." Emma teased with a smile as her Mom's thumb ran along her cheek.

A dark brow rose playfully in question as she let out a small laugh at Emma's face knowing what was coming. "Oh?"

"Brush your teeth."

Regina sat halfway up on her elbow, pulling Emma closer with her other arm. "You mean you don't like my morning breath? This breath? What's not to like?" And she made a game of breathing on Emma as giggles filled the room.

"M-o-m!"

"That's what you get for waking me up early and your breath is just as fragrant as mine."

"Nuh-uh." Emma assured confidently. "Mine smells like apple butter. That's what you always tell me."

"Because you eat a near jar of it everyday."

"Cause it's good." Emma sat up in bed as her Mom started to do the same. "Cinnamon toast today?"

"It's Saturday, so yes. Eggs too or turkey bacon?"

Emma's nose wrinkled.

"You need a protein. Which one?" As Regina sat up fully she wrapped her arm around Emma's shoulders and gave her daughter a kiss.

"Bacon please, but first I have something for you." She waved the box she was holding, smiling bigger as she continued. "Happy Birthday, Mom! I made this for you."

"What a nice treat to wake up too." Regina exclaimed, taking the offered box. She playfully gave it a shake that made Emma's grin grow. Tugging gently at the taped edges of the red balloon covered wrapping paper, she worked the paper off to reveal a handmade clay pot decorated with painted red apples, her favorite fruit. Carefully she turned it around and over taking in all the tiny details. "You made this?"

"Yeah in art class last week. But there's more, open it." Emma watched anxiously as Regina opened the top of the pot and pulled out a red and purple beaded bracelet complete with a tiny silver clasp. "Ashley taught me how to make this and we finished it last night. Mom?" Emma asked as brown eyes got misty, unsure of why the wetness was there. "Don't you like it?"

"I love it Emma, both of them. Thank you baby." Regina smiled, giving a hug before slipping on the bracelet. "This will also go perfectly with my dress for tonight when we all go to dinner."

"We all?" Emma questioned pulling back from her Mom's arms. Always, it had just been the two of them for birthdays and holidays. Emma had never imagined it would be any other way. She felt her tummy tighten with the idea of change.

"Remember when we talked about the week ahead and the calendar on Monday morning? I told you that Mal wanted to take us out for my birthday." Regina explained, understanding the hint of anxiety brimming in Emma's eyes, but not the other thing she couldn't identify.

Emma bit her lip trying to find her words. Her Mom waited a minute and rubbed her back while she thought. That helped. "But I thought you meant that she wanted to take you out and I thought that was last week." Then the hard feeling she did not have a name for crept in. She had felt this once before when her Mom and Mal had come home from the concert. Remembering what her Mom had said about using words to say what she wanted and did not want, Emma tried to say so. "I don't want her to come with us tonight. It's our night." She crossed her arms in a hugging fashion over her stomach.

Regina lifted Emma's chin with a finger. "Look at me please." Prompting and redirecting. "I hear that you are unhappy with this idea and I am sorry if you misunderstood me earlier. However, we will be going out tonight all together and we will have a good time. Mal really wants to get to know you better and it would be nice if you would think about giving her a chance. I won't push you on that matter and that's all I'll say about it, okay?"

Emma pulled her chin away, sighing deeply and grumbling to herself, but she was not let off the hook that easily.

"Answer me please."

Relenting Emma picked at the discarded wrapping paper as she considered her Mom's words. "Okay. I'll try." She then leaned into the kiss from lips that lingered on her forehead as she tried to figure out how to do just that.

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The small and trendy downtown Italian restaurant was crowded. Mal had selected this particular restaurant for its decadent wine list, a sure win with Regina, and because she knew Emma liked Italian food. Regina had said Emma was a picky eater and so she hoped this menu would be at least appealing. Reservations had been made last week in advance along with another special purchase.

The evening started out unexpectedly with Regina's Mercedes deciding not to start. Mal tinkered under the hood and determined the culprit to be a dead battery. Instead they had to take her truck if they wanted to be on time for their reservation. It was easily big enough being a four door to accommodate them all comfortably. But the last minute switch had thrown Emma for a loop and Mal had watched as Regina stopped a trigger with a few magic words and patience before it even happened.

Mal smiled fondly at the way Emma's eyes had lit up at the idea of riding so up high once the upset had passed. She had offered Emma a hand up into the back seat after helping Regina in. The girl had seemed upset again suddenly until Regina reminded about a talk had earlier. Mal was not sure what that had been about, but it seemed to settle Emma down. She glanced in the rear view mirror at a pair of green eyes watching her and wondered what the child was thinking.

After a long while listening of to the adults talk Emma eventually looked away and out the window as the truck pulled into the parking lot of the new restaurant. She didn't like new places. Especially new places to eat. Her Mom had showed her the menu online and pictures of the restaurant this morning along with describing what to expect. That usually helped with going somewhere she had never been and if it was just her and her Mom she was usually okay. But going to a new place, in a new car, with Ms. Dracon or Mal as she was trying to get used to using was almost too much.

Her Mom had said it was going to be okay though. Okay like it was to try new things. Emma had said okay this morning when they talked, but right now she began to count the other cars to keep focused on something other than the cramps in her stomach.

The truck parked and she was helped down from the back seat. Then her hand was in her Mom's hand. Emma kept her eyes on the bracelet her Mom wore. The special one she made and she began to relax. Holding this hand she could be okay for a little while. She was trying. For her Mom she was trying because it was her Mom's birthday and a special day. Mal seemed special to her Mom too in a way Emma was still trying to understand.

Inside the crowded restaurant Emma lost that okay feeling entirely and pressed herself up tight against her Mom's hip. There was music and people talking over each other in a way that made it hard to think. An arm came around her shoulder, holding her close and a warm husk of a tone came to be in her ear telling her what was going to happen next. Emma breathed easier at that, the cramped feeling leaving.

But then there was a problem with the booth they were supposed to have and the man in the suit at the reservation stand asked if they wanted a table instead. Emma frankly told him they did not want a table, but had to have a booth. Too loudly it seemed because people began to look at her again so she turned and hid her face in her Mom's stomach. Then her hand was squeezed in a reassuring way that was their secret code that she was okay. That she was understood. She listened as Mal fixed it so they could have the booth she needed to have. Tables were too open and loud and in the middle of too much happening.

After a few minutes she was told they were going to sit in the booth over in the corner. The booth had a frosted glass wall between the connecting one. Emma liked that it did because when she sat on the inside corner next to her Mom with her back at the frosted glass she faced the brick of the restaurant wall across from her. That's where Mal sat and Emma could pretend the room was not as full was it really was.

Regina eyed her daughter as she opened a menu and pointed to the pasta section to give Emma something to focus on. Her daughter's anxiety had seemed to ease since sitting down. Mal asked her opinion on a white wine and as she looked over the list Emma began to fidget. "What's wrong baby?" Asking to simply prompt and then she looked at the table where Emma pointed and realized the answer.

"It's not right." Emma's brows knit tightly together. The cups were in the wrong place and so were the silverware and napkins and—

Another well practiced prompt. "And what would help make it right for you?"

Emma reached for her glass and moved it where it should be. Then she looked over at red lips as she reached for her Mom's glass before she remembered to ask because sometimes people did not want their stuff touched or moved, even if it was in the wrong spot. Emma was learning she should ask before she just did that and sometimes people would say yes and other times no. When they said no that was hard for her to accept, but asking helped her feel better about it. "Can I move them?"

"Your own and mine, yes you may." Regina conceded and glanced at Mal who nodded. "And Mal's too. Be careful with the glasses though."

Emma lost the tension in her shoulders as she began to rearrange the silverware and glasses on the table to how they should be—like they would be at home if she or her Mom set the table. All of them on the table Emma worked to get just right with such focus and intensity her tongue poked out from her lips in concentration.

The waiter came and went and returned with their drink order by the time Emma seemed satisfied. Regina glanced at Mal. The woman seemed un-phased, if a bit amused and kept the conversation on the topic of the concert they went to last week. They all toasted to her birthday and then the waiter arrived for their order.

"I was thinking we could start with the brie platter?" Mal looked up from the menu to Regina for approval.

"That sounds wonderful." Then directly to the waiter scribbling on a notepad, Regina gave directions. "I need all the items on the brie platter separated and not touching or if that is not possible then put each item on a separate plate please…" Then she looked at Emma who was observing her in rapt attention. "Do you want chicken pasta with tomato or alfrado sauce baby?" Emma pointed to the menu item and Regina gave a nod to the waiter for Emma to speak. This was something they were working on while out; Emma ordering for herself, especially after she had shown how to with the appetizer. Her modeling an activity and having Emma repeat it was a tool they used a lot.

"I want the plain chicken not touching the alfrado with the pasta."

Seeing the look of confusion on the waiter's face and Emma's in return over his, Regina reworded. "Plain pasta—no oil or butter. The alfrado sauce on the…" Waiting.

"On the side." Emma finished remembering and perking up. She gained confidence as his pen moved as she further explained. "I like the chicken plain too and not touching the pasta. And no green stuff please."

The young man paused. "Green stuff?"

"Mom what are the little green things called?"

"Chives or parsley."

"Those." Emma nodded. "I don't want those or anything extra like that on the plate please." Restaurants had a way of trying to make food presentation artistic and while her Mom seemed to appreciate it on meals, it would not suit Emma in the least.

The young man flipped a page on the order pad as the pen flew to keep up with what Emma had listed. For a moment Regina missed the ease of Granny's when none of this needed to be explained. The wait staff knew them well there. At home or even at Granny's diner she could control what and how food was presented without issue so that Emma would eat it. Food being a sensitive issue on its own for her daughter, they were working with Dr. Nolan on eating habits, but it was a slow process especially with Emma's history and food growing up. But she knew continuing to introduce Emma to new environments and foods was an important part of her daughter's growth. And in places where she could she always tipped generously for the accommodations made for them.

"Is there an allergy we need to know about?" The waiter asked.

"It's my personal preference." Emma deadpanned in a perfect mimic of her Mom's tone when something seemed to need to be explained further. And then remembered the last part she was supposed to say. "Thanks."

Regina smiled, happy to see Emma remembered to use the phrase they had practiced if questioned on her order. She had the waiter repeat the order back to her to make sure he got it right and finished up with her entrée as is and Mal chimed in before he left them alone.

The appetizer arrived soon enough and Emma accepted a small plate with a little bit of everything on it, but not touching. As she ate she noticed that Mal had taken a black velvet box from somewhere under the table with one hand and then reached to take her Mom's. Emma's eyes narrowed, becoming immediately suspicious. She didn't trust easily, especially where adults were concerned. She chewed slowly, eyeing the way Mal was looking at her Mom. Like the faces adults made in the movies before they kissed or something gross like that.

"I found this in a little vintage shop near my office and I had to get it for you." Mal began glancing at Emma with a grin as she rubbed her thumb gently along Regina's hand. "Happy birthday Regina." She opened the box and slipping a delicate gold cameo cuff around Regina's small wrist. "To match your ring. I know how special it is to you and this reminded me of it."

Emma swallowed as she felt her face warm. She didn't fully recognize the feeling that was overtaking her. All she knew was that she suddenly felt Mal's presence in her life, on this special day it was supposed to be just her and Mom, to be an invasion. She watched her Mom's exhibit of gratitude and wrinkled her brow over it.

Regina's eyes widened at this unexpected gift. She smiled fingering the ideal combination to match her ring. "Thank you Mal. It's beautiful."

"Then it compliments you exquisitely." Mal admired not taking her eyes off how much Regina was beaming.

"I feel like a queen today being presented with such thoughtful gifts." Regina explained, fingering each of the two new bracelets. She tilted her head to the side loving this new possibility in her life and leaned forward in order to give Mal a peck on the cheek.

But at that same moment a small thud sounded followed by an, "Oops." Emma's milk made a puddle in the middle of the table.

Regina turned quickly with her napkin as Mal did the same and she caught a brief flash of something hide behind Emma's eyes. She looked her daughter silently as Mal called their waiter to clean up the mess. Something was not right and if it was what she thought it was, talking to Emma now rather than later might be best. "Please excuse us a moment Mal." She scooted out of the booth to stand and held out her hand expectantly in wait.

Emma squirmed and began to make an excuse, but stopped abruptly at the serious look in her parent's eye that told she had better move it. She took that hand and followed behind Regina towards the entrance and outside into the little courtyard there off to the side of the main doors. In the open space breathing was easier and Emma leaned back up against the wall as she was watched from across the way. Tears slipped suddenly down her cheeks under that gaze and Regina sighed. A tissue was taken from her Mom's purse. Then her chin was cupped and her eyes wiped.

"What was that about, hmm?" Regina asked and waited. When no answer was forthcoming she stood to her full height, keeping a hold of her daughter's chin as those tears stopped as quickly as they had arrived. "I know that spill was not an accident, so it is no use keeping quiet about it."

Emma shrugged one shoulder and crossed her arms over her middle. What she wanted to say would only get her in trouble she did not want to be in. What she needed to say; those words were not here yet.

"Something's bothering you and I need you to try and tell me what it is so we can talk and I can help make it better." Regina coaxed her tone unwavering; one that left no room for shrugs or half truths, but still Emma found a tiny bit of wiggle room it seemed.

"I'm just tired. Leave me alone about it." She said in a way that must have sounded too much like a whine for her Mom's liking. This feeling was beginning to spill out of her and Emma did not want it to right now because she still did not understand what it was.

"Tone Emma." Regina gently warned. "Tired or not you know making a mess like that to get my attention is not the way to do it. We have steps for that in place don't we?"

Squirming. "Yeah."

"And what are they?"

"Counting and breathing first."

Regina nodded once. "And if those don't work?"

"Then take a break and step away." Emma said and crossed her arms. "And then if I can't calm down, tell you or another adult what's wrong."

"And did you attempt to self regulate before choosing to spill your milk?"

"No."

"Why not?" Patient and coaxing, Regina waited.

One shoulder popped up and right back down again.

"Emma."

"It was easier not to."

"Which is exactly why we are out here. You needed a moment to reflect on your choices. You certainly know better and in this case were more than capable to at least try the first few steps instead of choosing to make a mess to show me something was wrong."

Emma's eyes welled up again under that reproach and she nodded lowering her gaze. She said nothing as her chin was finally let go of. She watched her Mom watching her.

Regina took a deep breath and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Emma's ear. "We'll talk more about this at home later, but for now when we go back out there I want you to try your best to use your steps if you need them. No more messes to get my attention. Am I making myself perfectly clear?"

Nothing but shuffling feet.

"Emma?"

"Yes, okay."

"Alright then, let's go." Regina instructed, her brief upset leaving as she wrapped her arm comfortingly around those small shoulders. Emma leaned into her touch as they walked back to the table. Mal stood as they approached and until after they had both sat back down.

"Everything alright?" Mal asked.

Regina put a new napkin the waiter had left back in her lap. "We just needed a little heart to heart."

Emma nodded in silent agreement with her Mom's words, taking a bite of her appetizer. This way she wouldn't have to comment as she fought the words she was thinking for the woman across from her in the booth. A woman who was beginning to take a piece of her Mom's heart away.

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"Mom." Emma started as she was pulled along up the stone walkway. She looked over her shoulder at Mal following quickly behind them carrying their coats and wrapped leftovers. Once in the house she was led toward the stairs. "Mom I'm sorry."

Regina shook her head and paused at the base of the stairs, her eyes going from Mal to her daughter as she tried to regain her patience. "You do not have the right to speak like that, especially to an adult or to anyone for that matter."

Being the adult in question Emma had spoken to, Mal stood by watching the scene unfold between mom and daughter. She had always had a deep respect for the way Regina chose to raise Emma knowing the type of behavior the girl had been displaying since the milk spill was not tolerated. Still, she felt for them both in different ways. For Emma who was obviously struggling with something not being said and for Regina whose birthday had not gone as expected.

"But Mommy…" A heated whisper.

Regina sighed, running her hand through her hair as the plea to be understood when she did not understand why Emma was acting up pulled on her heart. It was always Mommy when Emma knew she was in trouble and Mom for everything else. "First I want you to apologize to Mal and then go on upstairs to my room and sit on the bed. I'll be up to finish our discussion in a few minutes." Knowing her space sometimes had a more calming effect on Emma than the girl's room.

"Time out?"

"No, just to wait for me. I want to talk to you first." Clear that this was not a consequence, but that her daughter was not off the hook for one either.

Emma frowned and mumbled. Then tried to bolt for the stairs, but was caught by the hand and pulled back.

"One more time Emma." Regina patiently reminded placing her hand between those small shoulder blades and guiding the girl gently forward to face Mal.

A huff. Then meeting blue eyes Emma spoke. "I shouldn't have been rude to you or called you a name." Pink faced, she whispered the last few words with an edge in her voice. She turned to look over her shoulder to see if she could be done and she saw the raised brow. The look that told her she was walking a very fine line. Then Emma turned back around and with more sincerity tried again. "I'm sorry." And she squirmed finding she actually meant it.

Mal nodded, quietly accepting the apology.

Emma looked over her shoulder again for her Mom's approval. Regina's chin dipped and she took off up the stairs anxious to get away from her embarrassment and the adults for the moment.

Staring after her daughter, Regina watched the last edge of the girl's heels disappear up the staircase. She crossed her arms and turned fully to Mal eyeing her sadly. They had had such a lovely time in the beginning and for the evening of her birthday to end this way had her sighing deeply. Mal had been so perfect through everything. "I should get up to her…" Regina began and Mal smiled so sweetly full of understanding as an arm slipped around her waist, drawing her into a hug she did not realize she needed. As Mal neared those soft full lips brushed her forehead, too. Regina closed her eyes completely melting as waves of warm tingles flushed all over her body. There was no reservation, no second thoughts about being vulnerable just then. She so badly just needed to be held in these arms that accepted all of her.

Mal could feel Regina's skin blush under her touch. She let her lips linger tenderly a moment longer before drawing back, so she could just look at the woman in her arms. Bringing her hand up, it began to surf the black sea of hair around Regina's shoulders.

Regina opened her eyes, now glassy, and stared up into blue pools she wanted to dive right into for the promise they held to make sure she would remain floating. That was a look she was not used to; more than a life vest, this was an open invitation on a boat tucked into a safe harbor. She settled under that look and inhaled deeply the scent of lavender and mint, a soothing mixture; fresh, soft, and bold all at once. Mal was irresistible.

Almost.

"I can't." Regina's words said one thing, but her body said another. Her mind began to fight with her pounding heart as Mal started to ease back to give her space. But she did not want space. "I want us to be together. I thought I was ready, but I just can't right now. Please, don't ask me yet." Breath hot and burning in Mal's ear. "Because when you do I want to be able to say yes." She clung, pulling Mal back in so tight and fierce as if she just might slip right through if she didn't hold on.

Mal held Regina close, gently kissing near an ear and pushing back a wet heat wanting to fall behind her eyes. Patient and she would continue to be, but she also needed to reassure of something else. She tucked her chin over Regina's head and swayed slowly back and forth. "When you are ready, I'm here. We can have something wonderful together Regina. I just need you to trust me and regardless of what you decide I am your friend, always."

Regina nodded mutely into a shoulder, holding back the tightness starting at the corners of her eyes as she finally felt everything at once. Her whole life she had to stand on her own two feet with no one to lean on. No plan B other than herself if life got hard. Now, in Mal's arms, she felt a burning desire not to navigate this path on her own anymore. But she had to do one thing first. "I do. I trust you. I just need a little more time to trust myself all the way."

With that reveal Mal's lips parted to speak, but a pair of green eyes watching her through the rails of the stairway from the second floor above made her mouth close. Her eyes faltered under such intensity from a child. After a moment she glanced up again to the same spot, now empty.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As Regina paced the length of her room, her black open toed heels left a pattern of diamond indentations in the rug. "I want an explanation for your behavior tonight. I know there's something going on inside of you that you're not telling me, baby. So let's have it." Regina said, keeping her voice even and calm as she went to sit on her vanity bench. Emma sat across from her on the end of the bed staring at the floor, mouth tightly shut. "Do you need some think time before we speak?" Asking and leaning forward.

Emma's head shook.

"Then are you ready to tell me what's going on?"

"No."

Regina stood at the sharp tone and moved forward to lift the girl's chin. "That is not one of your choices right now and you need to mind how you are speaking. Think time or we may talk. Which one?" Emma's face scrunched under her direction in defiance rarely displayed.

"None."

Sighing and moving her hand away Regina tried a different approach. "All I want you to do is be honest with me about what you're feeling. Does this have anything to do with me and Mal? Are you angry with me over something?" Regina coaxed trying to give the girl verbal cues to help express herself.

The brief flash of thunder in her child's eyes answered her question without any words being needed. She knew that stormy look well enough when it surfaced. Thinking Emma did in fact need some time and that her space was not having the desired effect, she made the decision for both of them. "Go on to your room then. You need some think time. First ten minutes sitting on the bed and then I will come and we will try talking again." Regina stood and pointed to the open doorway, a silent signal that they were done for now. Emma huffed, but wouldn't move. Regina placed one hand on her slender hip and gestured again with the other, now growing somewhat impatient with that display this evening as a whole. "I gave you an instruction. Do you care to add not listening to the top of your current list we need to discuss?"

At the mention of that Emma's face scrunched. "What list?" Then realized it was just one of those figure of speech things her Mom had explained a few different times. Another huff, but then thinking her first thought through she stated her second one. "No."

"Then do as I ask of you please."

Emma bit her tongue to keep from talking back as she quickly passed her Mom and stepped into the hall. She stopped dead just outside the doorway as movement downstairs through the banister rails caught her eye. Her face flamed beet red. "You heard us?" She asked more from shock than anything and much too loudly as was her habit when she was upset.

Standing at the base of the stairs was Mal. The woman flushed equally embarrassed as she had not meant to intentionally eavesdrop.

Emma turned on her heel and balled her fists as she stomped her foot. "Mom!"

That abrupt shout brought Regina to the landing immediately with a reprimand ready on her lips, but she stopped seeing why the child had yelled. Looking down from the top of the stairs she gestured for Mal to come up. "I thought you had left." Regina crossed her arms now stepping closer as Mal reached the top of the stairs.

"I found Emma's comic in the back seat of the truck. I just wanted to make sure she had it." Mal explained as she tried handing the comic to Emma who wouldn't take it.

"She heard us Mom." A foot stomped. "She—"

"I am very well aware of what was heard Emma and you have some place to be. Your room for ten minutes and then I will be in… Don't give me that look. Go on." Regina prompted again, unyielding to Emma's pout as she accepted the comic from Mal.

Emma glared at Mal as she passed. She was careful to stomp to her room around the corner extra hard to further let the adults know of her displeasure.

Regina sighed and smiled tightly to Mal who was fumbling over herself with apologies. Sudden, but sure she set the comic aside and moved wrapping her arms around a neck as hands found her waist, pulling her closer. Slowly Regina eased in with a sweet and chaste kiss near the corner of a mouth, their lips a whisper from touching. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean to hear us." Regina assured. "Emma is very sensitive when she knows she and I need to talk, especially when she is upset already over something else."

"I can see that and I know you two will be able work it out. You always do. Still, I'm sorry for upsetting her."

Regina's eyes softened as she stepped back. "It's not you. I think it's the idea of you and who that might be to me that has her upset." Pondering aloud what she suspected was causing the storm in her daughter's eyes earlier. Sighing. "It's getting late and Emma and I still have a long talk ahead of us. Thank you again for dinner and for the lovely bracelet."

"Perhaps later next week we can try this again. At Granny's?"

The idea warmed her cheeks in a pleasant way. Regina smiled. "Perhaps."

"I'll call you tomorrow…"

There was a hint of question in Mal's voice Regina understood was there from their conversation downstairs. It was not one asking for an answer of commitment or even a promise of one soon, but of a friend balancing on the cusp of lover who wanted to make sure they were okay. "I'd like that." Eyes sparkling as she leaned in to give a hug; a quiet assurance that they were more than okay.

Mal took leave. When Regina heard the front door close she sighed deeply leaning against the wall. She crossed one arm over her stomach and brought her hand up to her lips running her fingers over where she had lingered on Mal's cheek as she thought about how best to approach the fuming child stewing in the next room.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"It's not fair." Emma mumbled to no one in particular as she punched a pillow on her bed.

Mal had heard everything; her struggle to talk about her feelings and her Mom scolding. Another punch. They still needed to talk about her actions tonight too. Thinking deeply about that pending conversation and the why behind it her eyes burned. She blinked, willing what was there to fall, but it dried right up. The look on Mal's face when her Mom had been given the bracelet made her blood hot once again. These emotions were getting too big for her to handle, but not in the way she felt when one of her triggers took over her because her routine was off or change too sudden. Those she couldn't stop or help. Those were scary and made her shut down so completely she didn't feel anything but panic.

This was different; she felt too much. Steps to calm down flashed in her mind. What she had been taught to do and use, the choices ran on a loop in her mind. Like her Mom reminded her of outside of the restaurant when she had spilled her milk for attention. Attention she wanted badly. So badly needed that Emma gave in to the easy choice and the too much feeling. She threw anything she could get her hands on from action figures to her school books at her open door. One of the books left a dent in the wall. Hands swept over her desk spilling her art supplies and papers. She blindly took up a stuffed toy and ripped at it…

:::::::::::::::::::::

Having heard the thuds and not anticipating this kind of outburst Regina hurried into the room just as a stuffed toy was thrown. Regina caught Henry Bear as her daughter froze, noting its mangled appearance and that of the room before she shifted her gaze to Emma.

Their eyes met over the mess, one pair begging for help over a tight pink mouth. This Regina recognized for what it was. Not the result of a trigger, but a cry for her to take back the control that was lost for her daughter. It had been a half year since she had done so properly and now here she stepped further into the room ready to help Emma regain balance again. "I see that you chose not to listen to me about waiting in your room for think time. You chose instead to not use your steps and have a tantrum and destroy your room." Stating the obvious for exactly what it was in such a way that showed Emma she understood the present need. The lines of Emma's face loosened. Regina came closer and gently set the bear on the desk while raising a brow at her child.

"So?" Emma issued a small challenge. Just in case. And even as the word slipped from her lips, Emma felt bad about her actions and her feelings began to coil in her tummy needing to come out another way.

"So, you will be spending some time over my lap getting some of those feelings out of you." Regina explained now moving the girl's desk chair out to face the center of the room before seating herself. She pointed to her feet and raised both brows expectantly. "Come here please."

Emma sucked on her bottom lip and eyed the spot her feet began to move to. "But..." She stopped right where she needed to be when her mouth said something else. "I don't want one."

"Of course you don't baby." Softening, Regina took Emma's hands. "But sometimes what we don't want is actually what we need." A squeeze and she waited until little hands squeezed back before continuing. "Why are we here?"

Squirming. "Because I didn't use my steps."

Dark eyes and a tone prompted. "Emma try again."

Shoulder's dropped. Much harder to say. "Because I chose not to use my steps when I could have."

A nod for the truth. "That is the difference we will keep working on. What else?"

Blushing. "And I wanted your attention."

"And this behavior is not how you earn the kind of attention you want from me. You need something else though don't you." Not a question as she guided Emma over her lap. "First we are going to get some of these hard feelings out and then you are going to clean your room. All your toys will be put away, your books lined up on the shelf, and your desk made right. Then we will talk about the rest of the evening and what has you so wound up. Do you understand?"

Emma closed her eyes as an arm wrapped around her waist and a hand rested on her bottom. She nodded, but that was not enough it seemed. A gentle pat in prompt got her mouth working. "Yes Mom."

Raising her hand Regina cupped her palm and brought it down to the seat of a yellow dress. To one cheek and then the next and continued this back and forth pattern that tended to bring on those needed tears quickly without allowing too much sting to set in. But Emma was not letting go so easily this time and after a minute when normally it was over by now, Regina realized Emma needed a bit more. She paused, raising the hem of the dress and settling it neatly at the small of a back before continuing.

"Mooomm." Emma squirmed and began to kick, but her legs were caught and stilled. Tears clouded her vision and she once again willed them forward, but they were stuck behind her lashes. She reached back her right hand, searching for her Mom's. Her hand was taken up and held. That made her eyes water all the more. A squeeze came back and in that comfort she began to let go. Let it all go right down her cheeks with the release of a breath she had not been realizing she was holding. A gasp, then a shallow cry came next. On the cusp of full release she was close and her Mom kept going. Would keep going until she let go all the way. Another cry escaped and Emma reached to wrap her free arm around the back of her Mom's waist in a hugging fashion.

Regina's heart pulled, but she kept on and put a bit more snap behind her wrist willing her daughter to open. And Emma cracked like an egg tapped over and over ever so gently. Bit by bit the shell came away and the yoke of tears spilled out from deep in Emma's gut. A wail came followed by sound crying as the struggle ceased and her daughter went limp. A few more just to make sure before her hand slowed to a mere patting.

"That's it baby. Let it all out." Her hand warm, as Emma's skin was warm. Regina moved her hand to soothe the sting that had allowed the release. Little shoulders dropped the weight of the world away. Easing her daughter up, she turned Emma over and up to sit on her lap. Child nested in right up under her chin, tears soaking right through her blouse. A long time brewing and coming Emma cried for several minutes as she rocked and hummed.

A calm and clarity settled over Emma as her tears gave way to sniffles. Her throat and tummy no longer tight with feeling. Open and ready she felt to try and talk about her feelings, but her mind was still fuzzy. As if reading her thoughts she felt a kiss on her cheek and watched as a tissue was plucked from the box on her desk she had missed in her angry sweep of it. It was held to her nose and she was instructed to blow and did, taking comfort in having her tears wiped away as another kiss came to her other cheek.

"Are you ready to clean up your room and maybe use that time to think some more before we talk?" Getting a nod she helped Emma stand up, righting clothing and giving another hug. Her baby needed a few minutes to regroup and so did she. "I'll be back to check on you in fifteen minutes alright?"

"Okay." Emma pulled back, rubbing her eye as her Mom stood. She watched heels leave and looked about her room wondering where it was best to start. Quickly enough, she shelved her many books and made up her bed. She put her action figures back in their bin on the shelf and put back the stuff that should be on her desk. Lastly, she went over to her bedroom door and picked up her stuffed bear that, in her fit, had his left ear nearly torn off. She hugged him to her chest for a long while as she thought about the evening. That's exactly how Regina found her when heels returned at the promised time.

Regina's fingers reached to gently run through curls. "Thank you for making a good choice and doing as I asked of you." She praised and Emma nodded under it, not looking up. Concerned Regina rubbed the girl's back. Emma let her take the bear and she turned the abused stuffed animal over in her hands, assessing the damage.

A hard sniff. "Will you fix him? Now, please?" Emma whispered her request.

Regina nodded while tucking the bear under one arm and reaching out her free hand for Emma to take. "While I do some minor surgery why don't you tell me what's been going on with you tonight?" Smiling to feel the girl's smooth hand slip so easily into hers.

She led the way down the hall and into the master bedroom over toward the bed. Emma stood there while she went into the closet to retrieve the wicker sewing basket. Returning, Regina sat on the edge of the bed and patted the comforter beside her. Emma came up to sit close as she threaded a needle and began to reattach the torn ear. "I'm waiting for your answer, sweetheart." Regina reminded not taking eyes off of her task. Emma shifted next to her.

"I'm mad that she heard us." A huff, but that was not all of it, so she added more. "And when she gave you the bracelet. That's why…" Emma stopped and pointed at her bear as if that were a clear enough indication.

"I understand that's where your anger came from Emma, but I mean before then at the restaurant and in the car on the way home. It's not like you to call people names."

Emma blew her bangs off her forehead as she flopped backwards on the bed. She stared at the ceiling, trying to gather her thoughts. "I don't like how she looked at you when she gave you the bracelet, like she wants to eat you up or something."

At this humorous and perfect description of Mal in that moment, Regina couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "Baby…"

Emma sat up quickly. "It's not funny Mom."

"I'm sorry. I am not laughing at you or your feelings." Regina reached out to caress Emma's cheek as she explained her reaction. "You know Mal is a good friend of mine. She was very helpful in my adoption of you and since then we have grown close as friends. Lately, she has expressed an interest in taking our relationship to another level and I'm thinking about it."

Emma knew her Mom liked women. That was no secret and she didn't find it odd in the least when it had been explained to her before. It was the idea of adults together like that in general that made her want to stick her tongue out. So she did. "But Mom, that's…" Emma scrunched up her face at the very idea. "Gross."

Still having the straight short body of a child, puberty was a ways off for Emma. Thankfully. "I know it seems that way to you, but it is not like that for the two people who have feelings for each other." Regina began. "In fact it feels quite wonderful in a magical sort of way. I've explained adult relationships to you before baby. When you're older you'll understand more of what I'm talking about. Until then, however, I need for you to at least try to understand that I have feelings for her. You don't have to like Mal, but I expect you to treat her with respect because she is my friend and an adult in your life." Regina insisted finishing up the last few stitches on the battered bear before tying off the thread.

"But she..." Emma paused, brows knitting together as she felt that strange feeling from earlier wash over her once again.

Regina could see the shift and she reached to pull Emma over to sit on her lap. She wrapped her arm around Emma and gave over the newly mended bear. As her handiwork was inspected, she coaxed further. "Are you are feeling a bit jealous that I am spending some of my time with someone else? Maybe a little sad too that I have feelings for Mal?" Even as she asked these questions Emma shrank in her arms now burying a face in her chest.

Though muffled, Emma hoped her response was clear enough in meaning.

Holding closer and kissing Emma's temple Regina felt a heartbeat against her lips as she spoke. "I want you to listen to me very carefully, alright?" Waiting as Emma nodded. "Take my words and wrap them up tight inside your heart for safe keeping. I love you very much and you are absolutely everything in this world to me. I have plenty of love inside of me to give to others too and one day I may give some of it to Mal, but it's different than the kind you and I share. There's a special kind of love that's meant only for you and me. No one else can have it and it's not something I can give to anyone but you."

"Sort of like our superpower? For just us?"

"Like that, but better. Love is a kind of magic and our love is one of the strongest magic there is."

Her Mom always had a way of explaining things so she could understand them. Emma moved back, now sitting up so she could see Regina's mouth. A gentle tap to the underside of her chin prompted her eyes up and she tried to say the more she was feeling. "I like thinking about it like that, but that doesn't…" Thinking hard. "I don't want to share you yet. I've only had you for a little while." Three years and some months now as they were was not enough out of her ten and a half of experience on this earth.

Regina kissed Emma's pink cheek and rubbed the same spot where a bit of her lipstick had remained. "And you have me right now and forever after. No one and nothing ever changes that. I need you to trust me on that, alright?"

"Okay…" And she did trust her Mom. Then a thought crossed her mind that made her nose wrinkle again. "But does this mean you guys are gonna kiss and stuff now because no matter what you say that is gross."

Regina smiled, rolling her eyes fondly as she gave several squeaky kisses and tickle hands as Emma giggled in her lap. They sat that way for a long time hugging as Emma hugged Henry Bear too. "You are so very dear and precious to me. You know that, don't you?" Regina whispered as she tucked her chin over the top of a blonde head. She could feel Emma's hands cover hers as she heard the sweet confirmation of her question murmured softly.

They sat entwined for a long while, each soaking in the others tender affirmation. They each wondered though, if something as beautifully simple as this trust and understanding of what they were to each other would one day grow to include another heart they had not been expecting.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A/N – Some major steps forward on both their parts. Thoughts?

Next time – Emma closes a door and opens a window. Regina learns about the difference between two words that matter to her daughter. Emma and Regina come full circle on a matter of heart that once had torn theirs to pieces.