A/N: What is in italics in the last part of this chapter is Helga recollecting stuff from her own memory.

"Um like hello Arnold."

Arnold was surprised to find the senior coming up to him before first period. He turned his attention towards her to see her wearing a very short skirt, and a tight long sleeve shirt. It left nothing to his imagination, and by the rolling of Helga's eyes he witnessed past Ruth's shoulder, he had a feeling what she was thinking.

"Morning Ruth. How are you?" He greeted her kindly. Even though he had been over his crush on her for many years, Arnold still felt the need to be nice.

Ruth took a step towards him. Her fragrance was slightly overpowering as she placed her hand against his neck. She licked her lips slowly as her hand went up to dance against his earlobe with her finger. "Want to go out? I normally wouldn't dare be seen with a person below my grade, but you gotten handsome."

Arnold was torn. He wanted to reject her seeing how he didn't feel that way for her. She was still vacant for the most part. Her life was all about herself and fashion. Still as he saw how Helga's eyebrow went up in a way of disbelief, Arnold wanted to say yes. Why he wanted to say yes was because he needed a distraction from his ever increasing feelings for Helga.

Bringing her head closer, Ruth giggled in a sort of false way. "Let me convince you."

His eyes went large at the feeling of her lips against his neck. Arnold wanted to push her away even as Helga slammed her locker closed. Was she jealous? He actually hoped she was, but he didn't want to play that game. "Ruth, please don't." His voice was so strangled right now. "I'm not interested."

She pulled away undeterred. "You act like it, but you will be."

Arnold heard a snort before he heard his cousin's voice. "You dress like one of those walkers."

Ruth turned her head around to scan the new person in the group. She could see he was related to Arnold, but was homely in respect to him. "A model? That is what I will be." She posed by using Arnold as an equivalent of a male model.

Arnie continued to stare at her dully. "A street walker." He corrected quietly.

Pushing away from Arnold, Ruth flipped her hair back. "I'll have you know that I'm not one of those you, Ug." Turning her attention back to Arnold she blew him a kiss. "I'll talk to you later."

Grabbing his books, Arnold looked at Arnie in a questioning away before he dissolved it away. "I'm glad you came when you did."

Arnie shrugged. "Helga is far better than what I've seen so far here."

Smiling at his cousin, Arnold agreed with that statement. She is. "Come on so I can get you to class." Seeing as he didn't share every class with his cousin, Arnold thought he would help guide him.

"Lila tried to give me muffins this morning. Strawberry." He snorted. He didn't need to avoid people going in the opposite direction like Arnold had to. While he was walking it looked like no one wanted to get near him. For Arnold, he got hit in the arm a few times. "I declined of course so she's going to hand it to everyone in her first period class."

Arnold's eyes went wide knowing that Helga shared the same class as her. "Did she say everyone?"

"Yes."

Pointing to Arnie's first period class, Arnold told him he'll see him after before he dashed off to Helga's class. Running through the hallway he went into Helga's classroom where she was about to bite into the muffin. "NO!"

The ones who already had some muffin in their mouth, while some put their wrapper aside, looked at him like he was an alien. Helga's eyes went wide as he came up to her to grab it out of her hand. "Did she tell you what flavor this is?" Arnold inquired. Seeing Helga shake her head, he looked over at Lila appearing sheepish. "Lila, did you tell anyone what flavor this muffin is?"

She gave him a blank innocent expression on her face. "Why Arnold, I ever so did tell everyone what flavor the muffin is. Don't you believe me?"

Arnold scanned the students in the classroom. "Did she tell you guys the flavor?" Everyone shook their heads prompting him to walk over to her with the offending piece of food. "I know you know that she is allergic to strawberries. Even Olga would never feed her strawberries. Helga told me that once you were at dinner with them, and while Helga was given a chocolate chip cookie, Olga gave the rest of you chocolate dipped strawberries making sure to say that Helga was allergic to them."

Lila took a glimpse over to Helga who had her arms crossed. "Oh Arnold, I must of forgotten. After the death of my big sis, and us breaking up, I haven't been myself lately." Placing her hands over her eyes she started to sob quietly. "Will you ever so forgive me, Arnold?"

"Oh please."

Arnold turned his head towards Helga's mumbled words. He wasn't about to scold Helga for that. Why should he when he had heard so many disturbing things about Lila as of late? "I also know that you know very well that Arnie is here to stay here for three weeks. During that time especially, I want you to remain away from the boarding house."

Putting her hands down, Arnold saw that Lila was free of tears. She looked stricken. "Arnie is the love of my life. He said so himself."

Arnold couldn't entertain her any longer when he had his own class to go to. Ignoring her, Arnold went to leave. He had no clue what will happen before that teacher go to Helga's classroom, but he had a feeling that Helga will do or say something.

Helga just had her eyes narrowed at the little red head. Guess her sole purpose in life was to try to ruin Helga. It was pathetic really making her wonder something. "What exactly is your damage?" It was a thoughtful enough question a little past eight in the morning.

Lila didn't seem to want to respond to that question. She just felt that all so familiar itching to her system that soon had her wondering when it all went wrong.

"Yuck. The smell of raw meat is absolutely disgusting." Helga's tongue protruded out of her mouth while she looked at the offending piece of meat. "Sometimes I regret helping out."

"Need help?"

Helga's eyebrow went up at Arnie's voice. Would it be possible to make him do it? She honestly didn't want to touch the chicken. Why couldn't they have gotten Mr Green to chop it up for them just to avoid it herself? "Why aren't you with Arnold and Gerald?" She questioned while her fingers tingled. It seemed like her hands didn't want to touch the meat either.

Arnie approached the blonde. "I don't play basketball. Also Lila was following me around so I'd rather be here."

She turned her head towards him. "Safe from her since Arnold banned her from ever coming in here."

"She fed you a strawberry muffin this morning." He studied the chicken in front of her. "I didn't know you were in the same class as her." Washing his hands, Arnie than told her to stand aside. "I guess you need this cut up to be able to feed everyone."

"Yeah." Helga watched as he went to work cutting up the chicken. Of course the weirdo knew how to do this.

Finished, Arnie took the pieces that weren't needed to throw away. "Anything else?"

She shook her head. "Uh no."

Cleaning his hands up, Arnie turned to her. "I still love you."

She turned her head slightly just to look at him through one eye. "I don't feel the same way. Also I have a boyfriend."

A small smile ghosted on his face. "I know, but you should still know how someone feels." Snorting, he than turned to leave the kitchen.

She knew it was thoughtful enough to say, but she wished that Arnold felt that way so long ago. Pausing in her actions as she went to bring the pan over, Helga had to rethink what she just said to herself. She shook her head knowing why she thought that. She wasn't cheating on Kyoyo emotionally. She was thinking in the terms of her life. She is honestly in love with her boyfriend.

Still she knew she was still in love with Arnold.

'Face it old girl, you are one messed up cookie.' Helga thought as she began to season the meat. She mumbled out something incoherent than knowing that no one will make sense of what she just said.

No one.

Arnold couldn't sleep. So around one in the morning he slipped quietly out the hatch of his skylight. The chill in the air felt welcoming in its own way as he wrapped his robe around him tighter. His thoughts always continued to surround him in such a way that he visualized everything. He still daydreamed. He still thought of one day even piloting a plane just to live out one fantasy of his.

"Can't sleep either?" Helga's voice carried across to his ears that had him almost smiling.

Arnold saw her sitting at the table that was set up on the roof. Striding over there he sat down next to her. "Yes."

Helga continued to look up while preparing another story in her head. One of hope and loss. One of romance that seemed more angst right now. She spoke to Kyoyo tonight, and all she could do was hate the distance between them. "Hmm." It was a thoughtful almost absent response to his answer.

"Who taught you how to cook?" He didn't want to ask her exactly what was bothering her. He just wanted to try to distract them both. "Can't be grandma. I love her, but you need an iron stomach to handle her cooking."

She snickered at that. "I observed Olga cooking plenty of times growing up. Plus she would enlist me to help her." Placing her chin in the palm of her hand had her giving a lopsided smile. "Also when there is nothing on I watched a lot of cooking channel. A lot. Far more than helping Olga out."

Tough Helga viewing the cooking channel. That was something he didn't think he would hear. "I watch it too on occasion. I get too hungry when I watch it so I turn the channel."

"I continue to watch it. When she wasn't around or anyone else for that matter, I cooked for myself." A small smile was placed on her face. "It is nice to come to a place that has people actually happy to see me. Of course I also view it strange since I'm not even use to it. I don't think it is me they are addressing."

"It truly was that bad at your old home." Arnold felt guilt well up once more at how many times he told her how lucky she was to have a family. He never could understand why she was so mean most of the time. Now the picture was clear.

She wrapped her arms around her torso. "Yes." It was so sad to hear the depressing tone to her voice.

He wanted to wrap his arm around her. Tell her that everything will be alright. "Nightmares tonight?"

Helga was silent for some time. Her head tilted forward. Her hair fell forward almost completely covering the side of her face except for the view of her pouty lips. As much as he didn't like her covering her face, he had to be pleased that those lips remained in his view. Lips that he wished were on his neck instead of Ruth's. He knew he would be reduced to a puddle with her kissing him. Arnold remembered her passionate kisses all too well.

"I hate the distance between us." She finally said. "While I'm still adjusting to everything, I just hate this distance between Kyoyo and myself." Her voice was tremulous. "He is supposed to come here in the summer time."

"You don't sound pleased by that. Why?" Arnold hated the thought of her boyfriend here. It will make things ten times realer for him to see Kyoyo in person.

"Because I know my luck. I know something will come up." Bringing her head back up she glanced back at the sky.

He wondered if she recited poetry towards the heavens. He needed to think of something different other than her boyfriend. "Doubt it. If I was your boyfriend I would do everything to be with you."

Helga received chills through her body. "You have Ruth." She thought to distract herself. Turning her head to him she smirked at him. "I saw the way she was hitting on you in the hallway."

Leaning closer, Arnold smirked back at her. "Jealous?"

She was actually, but there was no way she would show it. "Not at all. She wants you and you want her. You should go for it." Helga mentally slapped herself. Why did she have to say that to him?

"She isn't who I want." He kept his eyes directly on hers. It was bold of him.

"Hmm." She resumed her natural position again. She needed to head off to bed so she faked a yawn. "I should head down to sleep. Don't want to be dragging my ass into school tomorrow." Getting up, Helga bid him good night before heading down the stairs. Locking it behind her had her sighing. "Don't make me think that way, Arnold." She whispered sadly.

Arnold continued to stare at the door she just went through. Was it possible that she still held feelings for him? She was obviously avoiding the obvious. He stood up slowly while he continued to stare still at that door. He hoped that she would come back, but he knew it wasn't possible. Helga won't come back if there was a chance for further discussion.

Sad for that outcome, Arnold decided to go back to bed. He hoped that he would get a chance with her one day.

There she was in front of her mirror looking herself over. She knew she shouldn't be torturing herself this way, but it couldn't be helped. Each morning she would do this and each morning she felt her mind just faltering.

"Olga you are a regular talent. I mean if you keep this up they'll be erecting statues in your honor. What do you think Miriam?" Bob's voice echoed in her head.

"Oh I agree. She's so beautiful too. Just imagine people worshipping our baby." Miriam boasted proudly.

"Yeah. That girl though is a lost cause. No talent. No beauty. No smarts." Bob groaned. "We shouldn't of had her. Once we figured out she was a girl we should of gotten rid of her."

"Well Bob we can give it time. Uh maybe she is a really late bloomer. Yes that has to be it." Miriam figured out after some time.

"Well she is a mistake. An ugly mistake. No boy will want to be with her." Bob sounded disgusted. "Olga has suitors lined up since she was very young. There is no one lining up for the girl."

Sitting down heavily on her bed, Helga's head went down. Kyoyo was here temporarily until he found someone beautiful and fantastic. While she believed the sincerity of him in how he felt about her, Helga knew that it will end just as soon as he realizes the mistake he made with her.

Helga looked up in the mirror of the bathroom to have Olga standing there. There was her sister with the perfect attributes while Helga felt like pounded up play-doh. She was posing behind her as if Helga wasn't standing there. Was her sister really this blind to what was happening around here? Can't she see how Helga is treated compared to her? Can't she see that there are really no pictures of her around? It pained her to think of Olga as some type of salvation for brief periods of time. Those periods were always short lived.

"You know baby sister, you will find a boy if you had more of my attitude." Olga informed her as she pushed her away from the mirror. "Even Lila's."

Helga sneered at her. It never did any good to do this when Olga couldn't pay attention to her pain. "My attitude is because I'm reminded how much of a mistake I am. Don't you see?"

Olga waved her hand away while she made a phishing sound with her mouth. "Oh no one thinks that. I wish you would stop lying about that."

It hurt. Helga felt stabbed in the heart. "You don't love me at all. You love Lila more than your own sister. You pay attention to everything she says and not me." Olga turned towards her. A soft expression lining her features. Will she pay attention to her now? "I'm strong. I'm opinionated. I'm very independent. I'm a tomboy and I'm fine with that. I love. You may not see it, but I do. I'm also hurting inside since I was a small child. Why can't you open your eyes as wide as you open your eyes for Lila? Why does she warrant your ears, when all I warrant is your back? Am I that horrible of a person? I just want you to finally see and hear me." She knew she was pleading. Helga needed her sister to be her last hope in this family.

Olga stood there with a blank expression on her face. "I'm going for a walk. Lila will be here later on. When she is here we'll teach you to be more of a lady." Taking Helga's hair she gave her a queer look. "Boys don't like this. They want someone feminine and not boyish. That is why Lila and myself have plenty of suitors."

Helga felt her heart break. Why did she have to do this? Hearing her say she was going for a walk, Helga stared into the mirror finding someone truly ugly. "They're right. No one will want to be with this." Figuring she would do her homework, she made her way into her bedroom to finish off the last of her math homework.

That was the last day she spoke to her sister. That was the day she had to witness her death. Helga stood up like a robot to place her clothes on. She had to keep going with her schooling. One day she'll be out of here.

Stuffing her beanie on her head, Helga left her room to go downstairs. She only decided on a piece of bread while the cousins ate cereal. She ignored them as she quietly made her way out of there. She didn't want any chit chat. Still she soon felt Arnold standing next to her. Her body felt heavy today from all she just thought about.

"Helga?" Arnold's voice was full of concern as he looked at his friend. He saw her appearing like she was giving up on herself.

Her eyes were sad as she looked at him. She opened her mouth wishing to say something, but closed it. She didn't think she can talk about this to Phoebe. Feeling his hand lace together with hers, Helga looked down at their joined hands. She marveled at how perfectly well they fit together. Her eyes went back up to his. "Maybe later we can talk."

"Sure. We'll do it on your terms." He assured her. Arnold didn't want to crowd her. He just wanted to let her know that he'll be there for her. He wanted her always to be comfortable.

As for Arnie, he examined their exchange. He knew he never stood a chance with her. She was the one that will be so unique that he knew there wasn't going to be another like her. Arnie wanted someone like her though so he can court them. Helga is very special. The only reason he rejected Lila was her constant neediness, and the inability to give him any space. According to Arnold that didn't change. He wanted someone who was independent. Someone who didn't care too much about what others thought of them. He wanted what Helga embodied. That was his dream girl.

"You are your own list of ingredients that won't be copied." Remarked Arnie out loud. It drew the attention of both, Helga and Arnold. They were curious on who he was talking about. "I'm referring to you Helga."

Helga recognized the compliment in its odd form. She had no clue what to say to that since she was still swimming in thoughts of what her parents and what so many others have said about her. His lazy eyes met hers where she smiled just a bit. She didn't want to encourage him, but she did want to acknowledge him in some way. Thing is that it will take a long time for her to believe the compliments compared to the insults.

A/N 2: I hope I didn't confuse anyone with this chapter. Thanks for the views and the reviews.