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Chapter 12: Lets Talk
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Days passed after the incident without any further complications that Sesshomaru himself had to step in the middle of. Icis had been quiet lately her eyes had darkened and word is that her speed and strength has become something to reckon with. The more reserved Icis didn't play with Rin nearly as much and the child was fast becoming lonely. Sesshomaru sits at his place in the dining hall observing Icis discreetly as she sits quietly eating. Lately things have been changing in Icis that are concerning to Sesshomaru, she does not eat as much and she isolates herself from the others.
"After dinner this one would like to discuss something with you Icis." Icis doesn't look up to Sesshomaru but nods her acceptance continuing to swirl her chopsticks about in her plate. Sesshomaru nods back then stands from his seat on the floor and walks to the door leaving the dining hall.
"Icis."
"I thought you said after dinner."
"Are you not done eating?"
"Yes." Icis says lamely unfolding herself from her sitting position on the floor cushions and walks to Sesshomaru.
The two walk toward his study quietly Icis not really wanting to speak with him at the moment, she has been hearing the whispers of her being a concubine or whore and that she is simply here to be bedded. A guard had the nerve to ask such once while she was sparring and the amount of pain inflicted to his person was greater than intended.
Inside the study Sesshomaru sits behind his large desk and looks to Icis intensely, "Do you wish to tell this one why you are withdrawing from Rin and the persons of this castle?" Sesshomaru questions in a way that reminds Icis of being scolded by a parent.
"No, I do not wish to tell you anything." Icis informs not rudely but short enough to get her displeasure across.
"Rin is beginning to think you dislike her." Sesshomaru says his eyes narrowing on Icis who simply stares back at him uncaring.
"I am not here to please a human child." Icis informs her chest aching with saying that but it is the truth. People had said she was using Rin to get to Sesshomaru and a few of the maids refused her Rin's company.
"Why are you here?" Sesshomaru asks and Icis looks to him taken aback her eyes widening with the anger and distrust in his voice.
"I…" Tears threaten Icis's eyes but she tightens her jaw forcing them away her fists clenching at her sides, "I do not know."
Sesshomaru sees the pain Icis is hiding, working so close together for the amount of time they have has let them get to know one another and the emotions they try to hide. Sesshomaru knows Icis can see his emotions just as Icis knows he can see hers and yet she still tries to hide herself from him. "This one is tiring of your game. Tell me what is bothering you." Sesshomaru sighs and Icis looks to him angrily not hiding it in the least.
"I am not playing a game!" Icis shouts upset the tears welling up once more her entire frame shuttering with her restraint, "Then tell me what is wrong Icis." Sesshomaru says softly Icis's eyes looking to him helplessly.
"Why am I here?" Icis asks her eyes showing a wounded expression that should not belong to her.
"You are here because it is where you belong. You are this Sesshomaru's charge and trusted ally. You are here to grow stronger and regain what you have lost." Sesshomaru assures, "You are here because you are this Sesshomaru's pack and will remain so for eternity." Icis whimpers sadly her tears unbinding and growing to spill down her cheeks as she sits on the floor curled into herself her face buried in her knees.
Sesshomaru sits behind his desk a bit awkwardly not knowing why Icis is in such pain or why she is crying so. 'Does she not wish to remain here any longer? Did this one do something wrong? Is she over emotional due to the closeness of her heat?' Warily Sesshomaru stands and approaches Icis her shuddering form small compared to his. Crouching to be on the female's level Sesshomaru reaches toward Icis his hand resting on her bowed head. "Icis, why do you cry?"
Watery blue eyes look up to Sesshomaru hesitantly and upset, "Do I seem like a whore?" Icis asks brokenly. Sesshomaru's eyes widen slightly.
"Who has implied such?"
"Everyone!" Icis says angrily her tears falling once more, "That is why I do not act as I have! So many have talked of how I am using Rin to get to you or how I am simply working my way to your bed! A maid prevented me from seeing Rin saying I was cruel to use a child in such a way." Icis rambles upset hiccupping once she has finished what she wished to say.
Sesshomaru doesn't know what to say or do, Icis looks so upset and her eyes are wide with her need for him to make it better. "It hurts to hear someone talk ill of you with every step you take. A man said I try so hard because I am only second rate kami and must try to succeed at first rate whore if I want any power. I am not a whore! I am as pure as those awful miko everyone speak so highly of!"
"Icis." Sesshomaru calls trying to sooth her but she doesn't seem to listen her eyes welling up once more her voice cracking with pain. "No man has ever touched me can they not see or smell that?"
Sesshomaru pulls Icis into his chest her face burying deep into the hollow of his throat her fists gripping his haori as she sobs brokenly. "There will be no more talk of such things Icis. You are this Sesshomaru's beta and as such the respect you deserve will be demanded. I will not allow a soul to treat you in such a way again." Sesshomaru assures stroking Icis's hair gently her sobs softening to soft whimpers and hiccups. Purring Sesshomaru cradles Icis gently his anger surfacing as he thinks of the truth behind Icis's withdrawal, she was being shunned and tormented by the castle staff.
"Sesshomaru-sama?" Icis whispers softly her voice sleepy.
"Yes woman?"
"Will I ever be accepted? Ever be wanted by a good man?" Sesshomaru's eyes soften and he pulls Icis just a bit closer.
"You are accepted by Rin and this Sesshomaru is that not enough?" Icis's sleepy face shifts to one of thought as her brow furrows, "You accept me?"
"Yes, you are an ally and this one's charge." Icis's eyes open to look at Sesshomaru the hurt and the loneliness in them unhidden for once.
"Is that all I am to you? An ally and charge?" Icis's eyes grow disappointed, "What if I wish for more?" Sesshomaru's eyes widen with his extreme surprise as he looks at Icis her eyes looking up to him with a wisdom and loneliness so great he aches for her.
"More? What more can you be Icis?"
"Don't you get lonely Sesshomaru-sama?" Icis asks softly her eyes looking to him a sudden heat burning within them a heat Sesshomaru thinks Icis is far too innocent to possess.
"Icis-." Icis sits up so she is straddling Sesshomaru's lap her face inches from his sending a shudder through Sesshomaru, 'I have been without a woman for too long.'
Icis's small hands rest on Sesshomaru's chest the muscle underneath only making her ache more as she slides her palms to his shoulders. "Am I too beneath you Lord Sesshomaru?" Icis asks her words soft but holding all her pain within them as her eyes stare into his.
"You are not beneath this one Icis. I have stated such many times, you are stronger than any I have come across, but you are also young." Sesshomaru grabs Icis's hands pulling them from him her eyes looking a bit less hot filled instead with a sudden pleased air.
Suddenly a smile lifts Icis's lips and she leans in her lips touching Sesshomaru's cheek gently.
"Thank you Sesshomaru-sama." Sesshomaru leans into Icis's presence wishing to do all she had wanted him to but knowing it is not what she truly wants. For the first time Sesshomaru's body had heated in desire for a woman with only a look from her and her touch burned him. Only she was not just a woman but a powerful kami, his charge, and dare he say it friend. It would be wrong to be with her in such a way but the way his body feels…
Icis moves herself from Sesshomaru's lap her eyes looking into his, "When I unleashed the whole of my power and it swept over every being I was let into their soul, I could see their secrets, their thoughts, even their sins. There are many in your care who think such cruel things of me…but when I wrapped around the ones I have become close to I could see nothing but kindness and support. When I thank you Lord Sesshomaru it is for far more than you think."
Icis gives a deep bow to Sesshomaru her eyes that dark almost purple again as her thoughts sweep through all that she saw and she gives a small smile to Sesshomaru as she leaves his study, "I also want you to know I have completed the training on my soul. I just have to begin unlocking my abilities once more."
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Reviews Pleaseeeeee! I want to know what everyone thinks of my stories. I haven't been posting chapters because I don't feel like people are reading them anyway so…. I don't know I would just appreciate it. Thanks!