The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster
Exactly 50 Reviews!Thanks so much! Is it fair to ask for another 50? XD Anyway, to business...
E1pvn: Thanks. You make me feel good
FanFictionFantom: I was feeling horny when I wrote the chapter... >.
Koume: Glad you liked it. Don't be mad, get glad! Corny joke.
harrypotterfan: Glad you liked it too.
Opia-fire: Either way you look at it, my version of Zelink is original. Anyway, I wonder what it's like to fall in love with one of your vital organs...?
GoldenSunGeek: Nothing wrong with Star Wars... Actually, I'm not much of a Star Wars fan... not really. It's interesting, but I like other stuff more. (in denial)
Dez384: Or maybe the cucco is like a concentrated cockroach. Decapitate it and it will live on. Ever hear the (true) story of that headless chicken that lived for 18 months? It's creepy, I tell you! Oh yeah, I found out that in Link's Awakening, if you put magic powder on a cucco, it will shrivel up and die. Or so I've heard... Anyway, about that idea with meeting the real Zelda... Hmm... interesting...
I HATE Writer's Block! Coupled with the recent death of my pet bird, GooGoo, a flute and piano auditions, lots of parties for way too many occassions,ARGH! Writing the next chapter has been SO hard... You'd think with summer vacation FINALLY here writing would be easier, but Noooooooo...
Anyway, since I was overdue for another chapter and couldn't think of anything, I wrote a sort of side chapter from the owl's (yes, the OWL) POV. A bit of history, clear things up a bit... And basically me writing SOMETHING, ANYTHING... to keep me busy. It ended up so long, that I decided to make them two separate chapters, mostly because they were about two different things.
Then, I was going to post it both at the same time, and then when I reread the second one, I realized that it was a giant contradiction with the rest of my story. So I have to rewrite it, and come up some other thing, thus I can only give you this chapter.
Enjoy.
Chapter XII
Kaepora Gaebora frequently visited Hyrule Castle Hospital. He figured it was a good way to keep up with any bad happenings in the kingdom.
Tonight just happened to be his scheduled day for a visit. Link would be fine without him for a few days...
As inconspicuously as he could Kaepora flew inside the hospital. If he was caught, Oh! think of how many people would try to capture him, make him some kind of attraction. Even worse, force him into a petting zoo. It's not everyday you meet a wise talking owl.
So anyway, on his way there, he saw two people leaving the hospital, one was sobbing uncontrollably. He focused his eyes, and saw that the two were Malon and Talon!
What were they doing here?
"It's okay Malon. Get a hold of yourself! There's nothing you could've done."
"But I..."
"Malon," Talon said in a stern voice, "We've been through this enough times. Link attacking a cucco is his OWN fault, not yours."
Kaepora followed them home from the sky as they were in their cart.
'This is just great. I leave Link for a few hours, and he goes and gets himself killed by a cucco! Just great. I mean, can't the kid take care of himself? Why didn't the Great Deku Tree give him a fairy. I have enough work to do!'
Finally, the Lons reach their ranch.They entered their house, talked to Ingo a bit, and then the lights turned off.
The reincarnated sage perched on the gate, wondering how to best approach the situation. With Link... it was easier, he grew up in the Lost Woods, strange things happen there all the time.
But a talking owl randomly visiting an average Hylian family... Kaepora Gaebora was reminded of the petting zoo.
'Think positive,' he told himself, 'Think positive.'
He decided the best way was just to get to the point. Kaepora swooped down outside the house, and rang the doorbell as best as his talons would let him.
Muffled footsteps could be heard and soon enough, Talon opened the door.
"What in tarnation?" he exclaimed when he saw Kaepora. "What's an owl doing here?" Talon eyed Kaepora Gaebora suspiciously.
Kaepora had to admit, though, the look on Talon's face was priceless, especially when he started to speak.
"Excuse me, Mr. Lon, but I have recently discovered that my, er, charge, is currently in the hospital, in a very deep coma. I would like to know why you have let this happen, or I will sue you for 3 million rupees... and a horse of my choice."
After the initial shock, Talon just stared. Then he slowly backed away. His hand started reaching towards the crossbow hanging on the wall...
"I told you I should've warned him, daddy."
Talon jumped nearly three feet in the air. "Malon! Don't do that!"
"But noooooooo, you said it was his fault. Why would it be Link's fault if he never knew?"
"Malon..."
"And now some freak owl is going to sue. I knew you shouldn't breed Super Cuccos, they've gone and hired bigger birds and decided to take things political as well as mauling their offenders..."
"You're starting to scare me, kid."
Kaepora Gaebora cleared his throat loudly. "As a bird of prey, I'm finding it hard to stand on the ground with my curved talons, and simply wanted to get to the point.
But it seems that you need an explanation. And it was rude of me not to introduce myself to you. I apologize."
"I thought you wanted to get to the point?" Ingo had come out, sporting lazy eye.
"Alright already!" Kaepora remarked. "Is it so wrong to want to give an explanation? My word,seriously! Anyway, back to what I wanted to say.
My name is Kaepora Gaebora. I am a reincarnated sage from the ancient times. I don't know what I've done wrong to become an owl, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I have been a long time friend of the Great Deku Tree, a minor deity residing in the Lost Woods, who also created the Kokiri. They live in the Kokiri Forest, a separate area from the Lost Woods that are less dangerous.
Kokiri are an eternal forest children, and each is assigned their own fairy. Now, Link doesn't have his own fairy, being Hylian and all-"
"Link's Hylian?" Talon interrupted.
"Yes he is. And when he was about 10, he got banished from the village because of something to do with Mido not liking him because of Jealousy and whatnot, and probably some racism too. I'm not too clear on exactly what happened, but the kid got himself banished, and for three years I've watched over him.
And I've heard that he got himself mauled by cuccos, and I would like to know WHY."
There was a stunned silence.
"I knew there was something wrong with that boy," Ingo said.
Malon was off in her own little world. Link, Hylian? That was a great thing! There was still a chance for them to be together... but Link didn't like her at all. She could tell...
"So, did you understand all that? Yes or no." Kaepora said.
Malon broke off, and said, "Huh?"
"My name is Kaepora Gaebora. I am a reincarnated sage from the ancient times. I don't know what I've done wrong to become an owl, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I have been a long time friend of the Great Deku Tree, a minor deity residing in the Lost Woods, who also created the Kokiri. They live in the Kokiri Forest, a separate area from the Lost Woods that are less dangerous.
Kokiri are an eternal forest children, and each is assigned their own fairy. Now, Link doesn't have his own fairy, being Hylian and all, and when he was about 10, he got banished from the village because of something to do with Mido not liking him because of Jealousy and whatnot, and probably some racism too. I'm not too clear on exactly what happened, but the kid got himself banished, and for three years I've watched over him.
And I've heard that he got himself mauled by cuccos, and I would like to know WHY.
So, did you understand all that? Yes or no."
"Because Link was pissed at Niwatori for waking him up early in the morning, and took his revenge. Didn't you say all that before?" Malon asked.
Ingo had a vein throbbing in his temple. This owl is annoying!
"Ah, so Link was being reckless as usual. Some so called idiots say he's 'courageous' and I'll admit that he is, but sometimes, he just doesn't think.
Anyway," Kaepora said, "What's up with him now, how is he? Dead or alive, condition?"
Snoring was heard. Talon had fallen asleep.
Ingo's vein throbbed harder.
"If I tell you if you GO AWAY!" Ingo roared.
Talon snored still louder.
"Oooh, touchy." the owl replied.
Ingo took the crossbow from Talon.
"Ah, you're serious."
"Of course I am! Now, he's in a coma, okay, now GO AWAY!"
Kaepora flipped his head. "Coma, eh? Alrighty, thanks for the help. And tell Malon that Link is not her boyfriend."
As he flew off, Malon grabbed the crossbow, fitted an arrow in, and shot at the reincarnated sage as he flew off.
And unfortunately, missed.
TBC
Next chapter: Malon
The chapter after that: LinkxZelda fluff! Finally! (I figure that if I promise that I'll write it, I have no choice but to do so.)