CHAPTER TWELVE

Kayla reached the stables without seeing a soul. She quietly saddled her horse and attached her pack, intending to walk the horse to the castle gate.

"So, you would rather leave him than come back to Denerim with me," the voice she knew so well said to her.

Kayla froze, then turned and saw Alistair standing there. He was dressed informally in a pair of tan breeches, a white linen shirt and tan suede boots. The look on his face was inscrutable, but there was a hurt tone to his voice.

"Yes," she finally said. "I love him too much to make him choose between me and his people. I've already made that mistake before."

Alistair stared at the ground and shifted uncomfortably before looking at her, a resigned smile on his face. "I really ruined everything between us, didn't I?" he asked her, knowing the answer.

For the first time since his arrival, Kayla gave him a small smile. "We're both at fault, Alistair." She sighed, "And perhaps you were right in not marrying me. Fereldans would never have accepted me as their Queen."

"We don't know that. I didn't have enough faith in our love or our people to take that chance."

"You were an untested King who had to piece a country back together. Your every move was watched and judged. Your reign was in a fragile state. That decision might have been one of the wiser ones you made."

"Wiser for the country perhaps but not for us," he confessed. "I loved you so very much and I wanted to be with you that I thought I could have it all. I thought that everything could go on as before, but it couldn't. I entered into a political marriage and our relationship could never be the same again."

"But that doesn't explain why you changed, Alistair. You've become this hardened, uncaring, unfeeling man. You treat everyone with distain and disrespect. What happened?"

"I…I have changed, haven't I? I know that I've had to make some decisions that weren't popular or that bothered my conscious, but I told myself that was what a King did and I had to toughen myself; to not think about the negative impact…but that's what you would have counseled me against. You would have counseled me to be true to myself. Maker's Breath, I've been a fool...in so many ways. But, I never treated you that way, did I?" he questioned. Kayla did not answer. "I take it by your silence that I did."

Alistair ran a hand through his short, blonde hair. Suddenly he looked old and worn, as if the crown was heavy upon his head. "The best and worst thing I ever did was send you to Vigil's Keep," he said.

"What happened when I was away, Alistair?" Kayla asked gently.

"I sent you to Vigil's Keep at Anora's suggestion. I knew she wanted you out of Denerim, but you were the most logical choice to go. I had been thinking about sending you anyway and had planned on returning to The Vigil to be at your side once the trouble in The Bannorn was settled. But the nobles became stubborn and I was at a loss as to what to do. I couldn't call on you; you had enough problems at The Vigil, so I called on Anora. She came and we argued. She berated me for not being stronger; not making my own decisions; for relying on you so much. She said even for all his faults, Cailan was a better King. How that recrimination stung. I had to make a choice and decided to come down on the harder side of the line. I didn't like it, but I had to show everyone I could lead Ferelden and would not tolerate any insubordination. I had to prove that I could stand on my own. I did that and I lost a little piece of myself in the process; the man you had known and loved. But I liked the respect I was earning from those around me, especially Anora. I hated the way she always looked down at me." Alistair gazed at the ground, "She doesn't do that anymore," he said softly then raised his eyes to look at Kayla. "I had to turn off some of those old emotions and had grown accustomed to behaving as that hard, uncaring, unfeeling man that I have apparently become. But when you returned to Court, I could see it in your eyes that something had changed. I never thought it was me. I thought the events at The Vigil had changed you. But I can see now that you have never changed. It was me. I became a demanding bastard and expected everyone to jump at my command. But you never did. You attempted to treat me as the same old Alistair that you knew. But he was gone and neither of us was aware of it until it was too late." He paused and gazed at her. "I'm sorry, Kayla. I'm so sorry."

Kayla looked at Alistair and her heart went out to him. This was the man she had known and loved. She gave him an understanding smile. "I'm sorry, too, Alistair. But it's not too late to change the man you are. You can still be that strong, caring man. A good leader has not only strength but compassion and even mercy at times. You have a good sense of right and wrong and know in your heart the right thing to do. Always follow it. It shall not steer you wrong."

He smiled at her. "Your counsel has always been wise. I will be able to become a better man, but it's over between us, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid it is."

"You love Teagan, don't you?"

Kayla smiled warmly, "Yes, very much. He does not care who I am; what I am. He respects me and loves me." She saw the sorrow and pain on Alistair's face. She reached out and caressed his cheek. "But you were and always shall be my first love, Alistair. Nothing can change that."

"And you shall always be mine," Alistair replied. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out the order to remove Teagan as Arl. He handed it to Kayla. "Here; my wedding gift to you. Redcliffe's bright future is in the capable hands of its current Arl…and its new Arlessa."

Kayla smiled brightly at him. "Thank you, Alistair."

"We should unsaddle your horse and take you and your things back to the castle; where you belong."

Alistair helped Kayla remove the saddle and put her horse back in its paddock. He then took her weapons from her and began to walk with her back to the castle. As they were leaving the stables, a very frantic and disheveled Teagan greeted them. He saw Alistair and Kayla together; saw her packed belongings and came to the wrong conclusion.

"Just what in the hells is going on here?" he asked them both.

"Teagan, wait, let me explain," Kayla began.

"Explain what? This note," he said, shaking it in front of her face.

"My good man, it's not what you think," Alistair began.

"Oh, really, Your Majesty? And just what do I think? That I have been lied to? Been made a fool? That the two of you were planning on running away together?"

"No, that's not it at all," Kayla began. Teagan saw the piece of paper in her hand; saw the title Arl of Redcliffe on it and took it from her. He opened it and read it, bewildered at its contents.

"This is an order removing me as Arl of Redcliffe. What is this?" He spun towards Alistair, "Why did you give this to her?" Before either of them could speak an idea formed in Teagan's head. "Is this…some sort of threat…?"

"Well, yes, actually," Alistair began, "but as it turns out…"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Furious, Teagan pulled back his fist and punched Alistair in the face, knocking him to the ground. Kayla screamed, dropped her things and grabbed Teagan's arm.

"Teagan stop! Everything has been sorted out. I am not leaving, Alistair is not removing you as Arl and I love you and want to marry you."

"She's telling the truth, old boy," Alistair said from his position on the ground. "So can I rise and we can talk about this or are you going to hit me again? Because if you are, I'll just stay here on the ground."

Teagan wore a puzzled expression on his face. "I don't understand."

"Alistair asked me to go back to Denerim with him, that's true. It's also true that he threatened to remove you as Arl if I married you. I couldn't allow you to choose between me and Redcliffe and I wasn't about to go back to Alistair. So I was leaving. But Alistair's conscious got the better of him and we sorted everything out. He gave me the order as a wedding present so I could destroy it. I love you Teagan and want to marry you; that is if you'll still have me."

Teagan's face softened at Kayla's explanation. He took her hands in his. "Of course I still want to marry you. I love you. I was running out here to stop you from leaving. I would have followed you to the ends of Thedas to bring you back home."

Teagan leaned in and kissed her. They then heard Alistair clear his throat.

"Yes, well now that that is settled, will one of you help me up?"

Teagan turned to Alistair, mortified, and offered his hand. "Your Majesty, my sincerest apologies. I hope that…"

Alistair took Teagan's hand and rose. "Don't worry, Teagan. I believe I deserved that actually." He touched his chin where Teagan hit him. "No harm done. Good punch though," he complimented Teagan, slapping him on the back and walking towards the castle.

Teagan and Kayla grabbed her things and caught up to Alistair. Teagan spoke. "Your Majesty, if you still wish to see Redcliffe…"

"I think I've seen enough to know that there are no worries about Redcliffe. Its Arl and Arlessa have everything well in hand."

"Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you."

"I think I'll have breakfast and then we shall be off. I can't be away from Denerim for too long," Alistair said. "Being used as a punching bag can make one rather hungry," he joked as the three of them entered the castle.

Once breakfast had finished, Teagan and Kayla escorted Alistair to his waiting entourage. Alistair turned to Teagan.

"I hope you realize what a very lucky man you are. Your bride is a wonderful woman."

Teagan smiled, "Yes, Your Majesty. She is wonderful and I am a very lucky man. I shall never take my good fortune for granted."

"You have my support in whatever Redcliffe needs to stay financially sound and militarily defensible," Alistair told Teagan.

"Thank you, Your Majesty. And you have my complete loyalty and fealty," Teagan pledged, giving a slight bow. Alistair extended his hand to Teagan who shook it. Alistair then moved to Kayla.

"It is good to see a smile on your face again," Alistair said.

"I have much to smile about, Your Majesty," she said.

"Take care of yourself Kayla. I shall never forget you. You have made me a better man and a better King. You shall always be in my heart."

"As you shall be in mine, Alistair."

Alistair leaned in and kissed Kayla's cheek caressed it with his hand and then turned to mount his horse. Kayla and Teagan watched Alistair ride away, then returned to the castle arm in arm towards the beginnings of a new day.

Two weeks later, Kayla and Teagan were married in a simple ceremony in the village square. Teagan's brother Eamon, his wife Isolde and First Enchanter Irving were in attendance, as well as the entire village of Redcliffe. As the new Arlessa, Kayla continued her ministrations to the people, journeying to see those who could not come to her and bringing reports back to her husband about their needs and concerns. The people seemed proud of their new Arlessa and were pleased at the love between Teagan and Kayla, a love that neither of them bothered to hide.

Months later when news reached Redcliffe of the birth of the new Princess, they learned that Alistair had named his dark-haired daughter Kayla, much to the chagrin of his wife. It was reported that the King doted upon his infant daughter and that he had become a more caring, more tolerant and more merciful sovereign. The people believed the birth of his daughter had a profound change upon him, but the transformation had happened months earlier after his visit to Redcliffe. He trusted his own judgment more, although he did on occasion write to the Arlessa of Redcliffe for advice and counsel which she gladly and loyally provided.

Teagan became a staunch supporter of the King and was given more and more responsibility in the western lands. Alistair came to rely on Teagan and his management of everything from Lothering westward. His faith was not misplaced as Teagan and Kayla guided the people under their care towards a more safe and prosperous life.

At the end of the day, when Teagan and Kayla would relax together and lie in bed in each other's arms, Kayla always said a little thank you to the Maker. In her wildest dreams, she could never have thought she would be so happy and content. Discovering her purpose in life as well as the one person who loved her, cared for her and respected her was what she had hoped to find once the Blight had been defeated. She had found her heart's desire. But she could never forget that she was a Grey Warden who had sworn to protect the people of Ferelden from the darkspawn; a duty she could never surrender. A duty that, one day would call upon her and ask her yet again for a sacrifice. A sacrifice that would test the bonds of love; the bonds of marriage and change her forever.