"All Monsters Are Human" - Sister Jude (AHS: ASYLUM)

I was at the lobby with Dad finishing of my Napoleon Bonaparte essay for my next class while dad was dealing with more guests. "Dad do you mind if I use your computer for a little bit more research?" I asked my dad nicely "Sure" dad said as I move from my seat to his "You will be in the Seahorse Suite and I will get someone to help with your bags" Dad said as he hit the bell which contained a boxing glove punching him in the face and causing him to hit the wall.

"Dad are you ok?" I asked him hopping off the chair then I heard laughter and I turned around and saw my boyfriend coming out from the tree plant "Classic" Zack said and dad and I just looked at him "Zack you rigged this thing to punch me in this face?" Dad asked Zack "Of course not, I rigged it to punch you in the stomach I just forgot how short you are" Zack said chuckling "Zack honey why did you do that?" I asked him "Come on it was a prank" Zack said.

"That's it I've had it with your stupid pranks" Dad said causing Zack started backing away as dad walked towards him pointing his finger at him "I only did it because you yelled at me last week" Zack said "He only did that because you put glue in his shoes" I said walking next to him "Look Mr Moseby, what we've got here is your basic chicken egg situation, who knows what came first you yelling or me pranking" Zack said as dad and I followed him back to the desk.

"I think it was you pranking" Dad said still pointing his finger at Zack as Zack stopped where I was sitting and hit the bell which let dad het punched again Zack then grabbed my hand and ran "Alright that's it" I heard dad say "I couldn't help but over hear you kitten fight meow *hiss*" Mr Blanket said, Mr Blanket is the boats councillor and he is creepy and not much help.

"Mr Blanket thank you but this is none of your concern" dad said as I hid behind my boyfriend hugging him and rested my head on his back "You ok?" he whispered to me "Mr Blanket creeps me out and I wanted to hug you" I whispered back.

When it comes to Zack I'm like a love sick puppy "Aww its ok" Zack said "But it is. I am the ships councillor and I would like the both of you to come see me for a session" Mr Blanket said "No forget I am a very busy man" dad said walking back to his desk.

"And I… find you creepy and want to spend time with my girlfriend" Zack said "Understood but I am afraid you have no choice if I feel anyone's safety is at risk I have the authority to relive any crew member of duty if necessary sedate them" Mr Blanket said pulling out a frosting pen out of his pocket.

"First of all; no you don't, and second that's a frosting pen" Dad said "I know it's time for my cupcake break, happy face for a happy tummy" Mr Blanket said putting a smiling face on the cupcake before eating it in one bite and Zack and I walked back to my dad. "And we're the ones who need counselling" Zack said to dad.

After that incident Zack and I went to his cabin to watch a movie while cuddling on his bed when Marcus came in "Hi guys what are you watching?" he said sitting on his bed "Um we're watching Jurassic Park" Zack said cuddling me tighter "Cool, mind if I watch it with you?" Marcus said before lying down next to me and Zack so he could get a better view of the TV.

"Uh… nope… not at all" Zack said of course he mind if Marcus watched it with us "Hey what time is your appointment with Mr Creepy?" I asked Zack "In 5 minutes" Zack said "So let's go" I said "Yep, bye Marcus" He said before we took off.

We got to Mr Creepy I was sitting on Zack's lap behind my dad "I can't believe thanks to you I have to waste an hour here in counselling I have many more important things I could be doing" Dad said "You? I've got a box of frogs I should be hiding in the salad bar" Zack said causing dad to look at him "I mean homework and spending time with my girl" Zack covered up "This is all your fault" dad said before they both started yelling at each other and then a whistle blew "STOP IT!" and they stopped yelling.

"I can't stand to watch 2 people fight, unless their old ladies in a vat of coleslaw" Mr Creepy said sitting on his desk Zack and Mr Moseby looked at him disgusted and I put my head in the crook of Zack's neck and kissed it lightly multiple times "Aww babe" Zack said kissing my cheek "Sorry off topic, weekend stuff" Mr Blanket said "Look Mr Blanket I know you mean well but Zack and I will always be at odds" Dad said.

"Always" Zack said "Well you must try all that stress is bad for your heart" Mr Blanket told Dad "Oh poppycock my ticker is as strong as ever" dad said turning around and then Zack, dad and I started talking about his heart when Mr Blanket pulled down his pants to reveal clown faced underpants and we all screamed and held our heart.

"See like a hummingbird after a double shot of espresso" Mr Blanket said feeling dad's pulse "But there is a sound therapeutic remedy" Mr Blanket said "And I bet whatever you got right?" Zack said "Correct, rather than take your aggressions out on each other you should use proxies" Mr Blanket said as he pulled out 2 dolls, one that looks like Dad and the other looked like Zack.

"Hey Mr Moseby look yours is life size" Zack chuckled "Babe that's not nice" I said "Aww it was come on, laugh" Zack said tickling me so I'd laugh which I did…. I'm ticklish don't judge "Now do to the dolls what you want to do to each other" Mr Blanket said handing Zack my dad's doll and Dad Zack's doll.

"Like I do with this one of Miss Tutwieller" Mr Blanket said picking up a doll of Miss T "You and Miss Tutwieller argue a lot?" Zack asked "Oh heavens no, we love each other to much don't we schnookms" Mr Blanket said and then the doll 'made out' with him "Not now honey I'm working, Now express the feelings to the dolls" Mr Blanket said. "Um Ok, Zack sometimes I find your behaviour trifle and polite" Dad lied "Hey look I pulled his eye out" Zack said showing dad and Mr Blanket the ripped off eye.

5 minutes after Zack pulled of doll dad's eye they were tearing the dolls apart to the point there was fluff everywhere from the dolls "You like pranks? Well how about I pull your leg… OFF ha-ha" dad said as he ripped off Zack's doll leg "Mother goose with a side of yaozza" Mr Blanket covering Miss T's doll eyes.

"Enough practise I'm ready for the real thing" Zack said tapping my leg which meant hop off and he stood up "Bring it little chipmunk" dad standing up ready to fight so I just sat on the desk Zack was sitting at when Mr Blanket blew that annoying whistle again "STOP IT!" Mr Blanket yelled again "You see that your problems are more deep seated than I even feared" Mr Blanket said and Zack pushed his blonde hair out of his face, and it was cute when he does that.

"We are going to have to meet daily for at least the next year" Mr Blanket said, oh s**t. dad and Zack having daily meetings until next year… not ending well. It'll end in me not having a boyfriend or dad. "What?!" dad and Zack exclaimed. "Well not on weekends, weekends is coleslaw time" Mr Blanket said "What no, no, no we're doing much better" Zack said.

"Yes the doll thing is really working right old chum" dad said trying to be nice to Zack "Absolutely buddy I'm sorry for everything" Zack said. He and dad pretended to punch each other in a friendly way when Mr Blanket puts handcuffs on them "What are you doing?" dad asked as they both raise their arm to see the handcuffs "Ha-ha nice try I can see the hate in your eyes" Mr Blanket said "Yeah but that's mostly towards you" Zack said lowering his arm.

"This is the only way you 2 are going to be nice to each other" said Mr Blanket. "Mr Blanket give me the key this minute" dad insisted "You mean this key?" Mr Blanket said showing dad the key "Yes" dad said but too late Mr Blanket put it in his mouth and swallowed it. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to see the nurse I hate it when the key goes down the wrong pipe" Mr Blanket said before walking off he sounded a bit like Kermit the frog joined deathcore band.

Zack to go to work so dad and Zack went to the Juice Bar while I got my Laptop to finish the essay on Napoleon "One Tangerine Tickle coming up" Zack said before moving but getting tugged back by dad trying to write something and then Zack did it again "Hey look Besties Friendsies" I said laughing.

"Ha-ha very funny honey" Zack said "Honey?" Dad asked "Did you forget your daughter has been my girlfriend for a year now" Zack said. "Well, do you mind? I am trying to sign employee pay checks" dad said "Is mine in there?" Zack asked "No" dad answered simply "Then I don't care" Zack said before walking towards the customer which pulled my dad over the counter.

"Do you ever mop up back here?" Dad asked my boyfriend "Not really" I said typing away, then the sound of the intercom came on and Miss T's voice was through the speaker "Attention passengers and crew this is not a drill, A CROCODILE IS ENCLOSED ON THE SHIP!" then sirens went off and everyone started running including Zack and Dad well more like Zack tried to go one way and dad another and they ended up bumping into each other and falling over.

Zack, Dad and I made it to the Front Desk in the lobby where lots of people were there complaining "I am sorry for any inconvenience but I assure you everything is fine" Dad said while moving his hand with the handcuff on it to hit Zack every time "No it's not forget the crocodile, Tutwiellers gonna cut my head off if I'm late to class again. Come On" Zack said dragging dad through the complaining crowd.

"Please one at a time" dad said trying to calm everyone down "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" I said very loudly "Ah my girl, such a sunshine" Dad said as I bitterly smiled "Back off you cry-babies the man's hands are tied… to me" Zack said raising his arm up to show Dad's and his handcuffed hands together "So quit your whining and go back to eating your body weight in shrimp" Zack said and then they started complaining again.

"Zack honey I'll go to class and tell Miss T you'll be late and that's because your attached to dad" I said smiling "You'd do that?" Zack asked "Yeah you would do the same for me if you showed up to class, and you're my boyfriend I like to help you out" I said kissing his cheek and leaving "Love you!" I heard "Love you too!" I yelled back.

About 45 minutes later History finished I told Miss T Zack would be late but she thought I was lying and the bell went "Alright class now remember even though there is a raging reptile on the loose we must carry on as usual there is nothing to be afraid of" Miss T said while the rest of the class piled out of the room and I was still packing up when Miss T grabbed a bat looking around "Nothing to be afraid of huh Miss T?" I asked her smirking.

"Present" Zack said popping out and Miss T screamed "Woah sorry I'm late" Zack said "Hey baby" I said "Hey baby" Zack said smiling and we kissed "Well I hope you have an excuse unlike the one Kara told me at the beginning of class about you being handcuffed to Mr Mosbey" She said and Zack dragged my dad out from behind him "I'm handcuffed to a work a holic who can't take a punch" Zack said "Huh so you weren't lying Kara" Miss T said "Hello Emma" Dad said to Miss T "Well Zack I knew you would end up in handcuffs sometime, I guess I'll be seeing you both in detention for the next week?" Miss T said.

"What no I can't, Emma I think your overreacting" Dad tried to reason with her "Oh really let's make it 2 weeks" Miss T said "Oh no, no, no" Dad said "Wanna make it 3 mister" Miss T said raising her baseball bat angrily and my boyfriend hit my dad in the stomach "No Miss Tutwieller" dad said sounding like a little kid who is starting to cry and then she walked out the room with not a care in the world.

When Miss T left Zack, Dad and I soon followed to talk to Mr Blanket and we found him dancing with Miss T's doll "Oh Emma your eyes shine like two black buttons" Mr Blanket said when we walked in "Uh excuse me" Dad said politely "If you're thinking of cutting in you can forget it mister" Mr Blanket said still dancing with the doll.

"No we're here to get these stupid handcuffs off" Zack said shaking their wrists in front of Mr Blanket "Please we're begging you to free us we can't spend so much time together" dad said "I'll say he's a pain, every time Mr Mosbey turns around some obnoxious passenger is complaining my cabin wasn't clean. My room service is cold. I'm afraid a crocodile is going to eat my baby waa waa No wonder he's always on edge ready to snap" Zack said.

"Well Zack's life is worse, a crummy job, piles of mindless homework, unreasonable teachers-" Dad said but got cut off by Mr 'I Have A Doll Of A Teacher On This Boat' shoving the doll in his face "No offence Emma" dad said "Look no wonder he wants to blow off a little steam with a seemingly harmless tom foolery" Dad said and then Mr Creepy tarted smiling "Ah ha he's smiling cause for the first time the 2 of us understand each other" Dad said.

"Actually I was thinking of Emma in the new outfit I bought her" Mr Blanket said raising up a little bikini for the doll "But it's great you too had a breakthrough" Mr Blanket said "Hmm guess we did" Zack said smiling with Dad "That's the Blanket method you can read about it in my new book The Blanket Method by Mr Blanket Argh" Mr Blanket said making dad and Zack jump "Plus if you flip the corners there's a bear in a hula skirt Shake it teddy" he said laughing as he flipped the corners.

"Thank you Mr Blanket I'm so glad that a man like you decided to study Psychology" Dad said "Right I studied Psychology at a school. Distraction" He said while flipping the pages on the book. "Shake it teddy" Dad said laughing "There's still the matter of the handcuffs so can you just hand us over the spare key" Zack asked. "Spares? Spares are for bowling I only had the one key" Blanket said before walking back to his desk.

"And it hasn't… shown up yet?" dad asked remembering that Blanket swallowed it "Could take at least a week, I'm all stopped up from all those cupcakes ANGRY FACE FOR ANGRY TUMMY" Blanket said angrily while drawing an angry face on the cupcake before shoving it in his mouth and eating it angrily.

Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Song for this chapter is: Team by Lorde

-amber sixx