Love Me, Love Me Not

Chapter 12

Author's Note: OMG lmaoo haha I got another chapter out! I'm happy lolz I don't know, I feel the ingenious bug of writin keeps hitting me lately mmm I hope you enjoy it! Hopefully I'll be able to crank out some more chapters soon for you to read.

THANK CHUS to everyone to reviewed my fanfic, it makes me feel great to have people review my story. Hehe MWAS TO ALL OF YOUS!

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Present

Finishing up with dinner, Remus cleared the table off, letting everyone go out to the living room to warm up by the fireplace. Once he was finished cleaning up, he made everyone hot chocolate and handed it out before sitting down next to Xavier on the carpet, leaning back against his couch as he studied the flames quietly.

"Mm..dad…?" Xavier murmured, glancing at his dad before looking at Lily and James. "Lily and James said I should ask you something…"

Remus raised an eyebrow and looked over at his best friends and sighed quietly, smiling slightly at his son. "What is it?"

Before Xavier could answer, James cut in. "And don't think we're up to something Remmy! We're just doing what you asked." He pouted as Lily hit him on the arm for being so loud. "We're going to explain to him how he came into being…well not literally but you know what I mean."

Remus rolled his eyes and nodded. "I know, I know." He chuckled and set his cup of hot chocolate onto the coffee table, stretching his legs out in front of him to get comfortable. "Now, what was it that you wanted to ask me, X?"

Xavier looked down at his cup quietly, frowning to himself. He looked up at his father after a little while, staring into his eyes intently.

Blinking, Remus shook his head and frowned at his own thought of how much Xavier is starting to look like his other father, Sirius.

"Aah..well I just wanted you guys to continue telling me about Sirius." Xavier muttered softly before looking down at the cup in his hands again. "…I don't know how to explain it, but it's almost as if I'm meeting him for the first time…"

Remus stared at his son and nods quietly. "I…should've told you about him earlier shouldn't I?"

Xavier shook his head and smiled slightly. "For some reason, I don't should've. Dad, I understand that you needed to keep him as your secret and I'm really glad that you're finally able to tell me about him now…" He breathed in deeply and let out a sigh. "It's alright that you didn't tell me about him earlier, it makes it better for me to find out myself when I was ready."

Remus smiled gratefully at his son. "Thank Merlin that I have you for a son…"

Lily smiled happily at her friend and his son, blinking when her husband leaned in closer to her. James smiled in return and leaned against her, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm happy that Sirius gave Xavier some of his "Remus-understanding" genes." James whispered, chuckling. "I don't know what Rem would do if Xavier wasn't able to understand him like Sirius was."

Lily nodded and smiled. "I'm glad for that too." She whispered back to James before looking up when Remus began his story from where they left off last time. "Shh…it's time to listen to the past again…" Nuzzling into James, she rested against him and watched Remus tell the story of his past.

OOOOO

Past

Sirius ran down the corridors to the Prefects' Bathroom, breathing heavily from running all the way from the Gryffindors' dorms to here. Shaking his head, he ran his hand through his hair and stopped in front of the portrait that was the only barrier between him and seeing Remus.

Blushing suddenly, Sirius shook his head when his mind conjured up images of Remus naked inside there. He sighed and rolled his eyes at his dirty mind. "Really Siri, the last thing Remus needs is mini me prodding at him…" He whispered before muttering the password to the bathroom.

Sirius walked into the bathroom and looked around the foggy room, waving his hand to disperse the fog a bit as he walked into the bathroom, he noticed the scattered clothes lying on the ground. As he continued more into the huge bathroom, he recognized the auburn hair boy sitting across the room with his back to him. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Sirius smiled and walked over to Remus, stepping silently to him.

Frowning, Remus looked up from playing with the foam around him. Sniffing the air silently, he recognized the scent and paled slightly. Tensing up, Remus refused to turn around and busied himself with gathering the foam closer to cover his nude body.

As Sirius stepped closer, he noticed how tense Remus was. He stopped a few feet away from Remus and stared at him, just taking in the beauty before him. Closing his eyes, Sirius planned to forever implant the memory of Remus's figure into his brain. How couldn't I see how special he was to me before? Damnit, I should have noticed that I couldn't be without him before I started flirting with Jeanne. Stupid me…and now look at what I've done, he can hardly stand being in the same room with me. Ugh, I wonder if he'll believe me if I said I would give Jeanne up in a heartbeat if it meant he would stay with me…Hopefully he won't freak out when I confess to him…

Sirius took another deep breath in before walking again, closing the complete distance between him and Remus. Kneeling down, he didn't care that the front of his robe was getting wet from the spilt water on the side of the huge bath. "Remus…" He whispered, staring down at the young man in front of him.

Sucking in a quick breath, Remus closed his eyes and ignored any of the emotions that appeared when Sirius called out his name. Instead of answering to the call of his name, Remus opted to ignore it and continue on with his bath. If it meant Sirius would leave him alone in his misery, Remus wouldn't care if he had to ignore Sirius for a lifetime.

Sirius reached out shakily for Remus's shoulder. "Remus…look at me please…" He whispered and leaned down, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Nuzzling into his neck, Sirius inhaled his scent and smiled softly to himself. "I…like you Remmy. A lot actually…more than you think and that's what I was trying to explain earlier before you ran out." Sirius held onto Remus tighter. "I'm sorry I didn't see how you felt about me…maybe I was just in denial about you ever liking me." He sighed and glanced down at Remus. "I'm pretty sure I was in denial about myself liking you too…but after seeing how everything is going, with you avoiding me…I couldn't take it! And I know I need you now, but I need to know how you feel, Rem."

Biting his lip, Remus relaxed underneath Sirius's touch and leaned back against him more. "Everything you say is true…?" He whispered softly, glancing up at Sirius and stared at him, a little mistrust still lingering in his eyes.

Sirius nodded back and ran a few fingers down Remus's cheek when he turned around to face him. "I do…" He smiled weakly as he stared into Remus's eyes, vowing to make the mistrust disappear. "I really do…trust me Remus…"

Remus breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, leaning into Sirius and tugging him closer, his hands clinging onto Sirius's robe. "I want to, I love you Sirius, I would do anything for you." Glancing up, Remus smiled back and cups Sirius's cheek. "I need you, but I don't want to be here when you don't need me…"

Sirius frowned sharply and pulled Remus up towards him, the smaller boy's body almost emerging from the foamy water and he stood with the water up to his waist, his body glistening with the water from his bath. "I need you, now and forever!" Sirius stared down at him intently into his eyes. "And I won't EVER let you thin otherwise." He growled under his breath and leaned down to kiss Remus deeply on the lips, pulling the surprise Remus into his arms.

Getting pulled into the kiss, Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius's body and leaned into him even more. He broke the kiss and smiled cutely at Sirius, flushing brightly when Sirius eyes darkened from lust. "S-Sirius…" He breathed out softly, his body shivering from delight.

Sirius smirked and runs his hand through Remus's hair quietly. "Do you believe me now?"

Remus nodded quickly in return, chuckling in relief as he hugged Sirius again, snuggling into him. He couldn't believe his luck at getting another chance with Sirius. Before Sirius came, he was ready to give everything up and pretend as if his feelings were never here. He leaned in more and clung onto Sirius. "Mmhmm…"

"Good, now should we get you out of that bath and dressed? I don't think it's good for my health to watch you naked like that when I'm not allowed to touch you without facing Lily's wrath." Sirius pouted and stood up, grabbing one of the fluffy towels from the room and handing it to Remus.

Remus laughed and took the towel gratefully and wrapped himself in it before standing up, still blushing from the kiss they shared. "Thanks…"

Sirius grinned at Remus's shy nature before walking over and wrapping his arms around Remus's body easily, pulling him back against him so Remus's back was resting against his chest. "Don't think that she can always protect you Remmy…" He purred and kisses Remus temple. "Mmm, I'm sure I'll break down her protectiveness for you sooner or later."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Let's just see you try." He smiled and tilted his head back to kiss him on the cheek. Pulling away from Sirius, he walked over to his pile of clean clothes and pulling it on quickly. "Let's go, I'm sure that Lily and James is wondering what happened to us."

Sirius nodded and walked out, his arm easily slipping to rest on around Remus's waist, holding him closer and refusing to let him go when they stepped out into the hallway even though Remus objected to walking around like this.

Sirius frowned and leaned down. "I'm not letting you go." He huffed and pouted. "I don't want anyone else looking at you and everyone needs to know who you are with."

Remus sighed and pushed at Sirius's shoulder a little, but he still smiled softly at Sirius's antics. Blinking quickly he realized there was still another matter at hand that they had to get over with. Biting his lip quickly and looked up at Sirius, asking the question that he feared the most. "What about Jeanne?"

Looking down at the ground, Remus knew he didn't want to hear the answer that Sirius was about to give him. He clenched his hands into tight fist as he bit down on his soft lower lips before looking up at Sirius quickly. Even though he didn't want to hear it, he knew that he must hear Sirius's answer, just to settle the doubt he had over his and Sirius's newly formed relationship.

Hearing the question that slipped out of Remus's lips, Sirius's eyes hardened and he shook his head. "Who cares…I have you now, that's all that matters to me." And to prove what he said, Sirius leaned down to give Remus another kiss.

Remus smiled happily into the kiss, not even minding the fact that they were in the middle of the hallway as he leaned into the kiss, feel the fear and doubt he had earlier melt away with the warmth of Sirius's lips and body.

However, unaware to the young lovers, a shadowy figure was staring at them in surprise down the hallway, her books falling out of her hands and onto the floor before she turned and ran away into her room.

OOOOO

The couple stepped into their dorm and grinned at James and Lily. Sirius ran his hand through his hair and winked at James. "I told you I would get him back."

Lily just sighed and slid off of the bed, smiling as she walked over to Remus, taking his hand and pulling him over to the further end of the room, letting the two other boys talk amongst themselves. "Are you sure you want this, Remus?"

Remus nodded and sat down on the windowsill seat, staring out of the window at the setting sun. "Yeah." He smiled and looked over at Sirius, not caring to explain his simple answer.

Lily sat down across from him and smiled sweetly at him, patting his hand gently. "As long as you know what you're doing, I won't stop it." She glanced back at Sirius. "Just don't ever let him take you for granted…I won't let him get away with that." She frowned and looked back at her friend.

Remus shook his head and leaned back against the window's frame. "I'm happy now Lily…and as long as I have him, I'll be happy." He looked from the sun to Lily. "Even if he leaves me now…as long as he leaves me with some happy memories of us being together, I'll be satisfied."

Lily frowned and shook her head sadly. "You say that now Remus, but you freaked out earlier today when he didn't seem to answer to your confession."

Remus bit his lip gently at the memory of his reaction earlier. "I'll just say that reaction happened because I thought I had not chance of having any memories with him anymore, but now that this happened, I'll be happy even if we had to end it."

"If you say so." Lily smiled and stood up, looking down at Remus. "I'm happy for you though Remus, and so is James. We both are glad that you guys worked out your problems."

Remus nodded and smiled at her happily. "Thanks Lily." He blinked and looked over at James and Sirius when he heard his name. "What are you guys talking about?" Remus stood up next to Lily and walked back over. He sat down next to Sirius on his bed while Lily sat next to James on James's bed.

"We were fighting over whether to tell Peter or not." Sirius frowned and huffed. "I said I didn't want to because that rat has no business in our love life while James feels bad for leaving him out in the dark."

"Well maybe we should tell him then. He lives with us in the dorm, he's going to notice it sooner or later, Sirius." Remus frowned.

"Yeah, but I can't stand him and I don't trust him one bit either ugh. I bet he'll just tell everyone about us just to make himself look better for having the new gossip of the school." Sirius growled out, his eyes darkening from anger.

James glared at Sirius. "He's not that bad! And didn't we already agree a bunch of times that he's our friend and that we can't exclude him from things like this, Sirius?"

"I don't like telling him things like this though!"

"He's going to end up finding out anyways, so stop being stubborn and agree to tell him Sirius." James frowned sharply and shook his head. "It's not going to help us to argue about this and just tell him straightforward that you're gay and that you're not going out with Jeanne and the person you want is Remus. Hell, if he makes any commotion about it and disturb you two, I promise to slug him myself, okay? But I don't need to feel guilty for not telling him when he thinks we're his friends and that we're keeping secrets from him…I feel bad enough for him already Sirius."

Sirius frowned and looked down at the floor, shaking his head before sighing when Remus tugged on his sleeve. "Fine, I'll tell him later, but I seriously don't trust the sniveling bastard. He's as bad as Snape!" He looked up at James. "You remember that time he ratted us out on a prank because we didn't let him on it? That pissed me off so badly…and then there was this time he told on you and Lily making out, I bet he did that because he can't get any by himself."

James blinked. "He was the one who told on us that time! How do you know that?"

Sirius frowned. "I thought you knew, I was there when he went to Professor McGonagall and whined to her about you two."

"Seriously?" James frowned sharply. "I never knew that…"

"Well now you see why I don't like him and I don't want to tell him about me and Remus, but if you guys really think I should then I will." Sirius shrugged and glanced over at Remus, reaching out to hold his hand. Smiling again only when Remus leaned into him and held his hand tightly, squeezing it.

Remus smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the lips softly, a small peck. Sirius returned the kiss and as Lily and James watched, their faces both expressing their surprise at the outward affections between the two, no one seemed to notice the person standing outside the door, seething with anger.

OOOOO

Present

Glancing at the darkening sky outside, Remus stood up and stretched out his body when he stopped his story for a little. "You guys, I think there's going to be a snow storm." He stepped over to the window, looking around. "Yeah, I can smell the snow coming already." Remus glanced over his shoulder at Lily and James. "What are you two going to do?"

Lily smiled slightly and held onto James's arm with two of her own. "We'll stay here for the night if you allowed it, right James?"

James blinked and nods, shrugging at the same time. "If Remus doesn't mind putting us up for the night."

Remus chuckled. "I don't mind. I'll go get your room set up for you guys, kay?" He started walking towards the staircase that led up to the second floor when Lily and James nodded, smiling with gratitude towards him.

Xavier watched his father leave all of them to make the room. "Did father ever regret getting together with Sirius?" He whispered, moving to sit closer to Lily and James.

Lily shook her head quietly as she smiled sadly. "Not once, he's actually always grateful to the relationship actually. Always says that he loved Sirius and that he would never regret anything, especially when you were the result of their love."

Xavier frowned and looked down at the floor. "But why would he say that? After breaking up with Sirius, he never blamed him once?"

"Not once, Xavier. You have to understand…your dad loved Sirius, even now he still loves him even if we can't tell." James smiled sadly. "Sadly enough, they can't be together…it was just a cruel twist of fate with too many people meddling in their pure love, turning the love into a monster to harm them both."

Xavier frowned sadly as he looked up at the staircase his father left to. "I see…" He sighed quietly before looking out the window, letting his thoughts consume him as the first snowflakes started falling.

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Author's Note: How did you like it? Was it good? Lolz Review!