Salvador eyed his creation closely. The color looked right. The shape was perfect. The smell...

He put his nose over the plate and inhaled deeply, wafting the steam towards himself as he did.

Hmmmm... He was getting closer, Salvador felt certain of it. The prickling in his nostrils was definitely a good sign, but it still didn't smell quite right. Oh well. Only way to know is to taste it. Carefully, Salvador folded one end of the flour tortilla over, then the left side, and finished by rolling the whole thing to the right. He raised the burrito to his mouth...

"You did not eat a seventy-two ounce steak!"

"I did too!"

"You weigh what, one-forty including that metal arm? There's no way I'll believe you ate a four and a half pound slab of meat!"

"Why, because I'm not a big strapping male like you? And it's one twenty-three with the arm, thank you very much!"

Salvador looked over his meal. "What are you two yammering about?"

Axton jerked his thumb at Gaige. "Look at her, Sal. Does she look like the type of person to eat that much food?"

"Maybe I don't look like that kind of person," Gaige shot back, "but I'm pretty sure I don't look like the type of person with a bodycount the size of small country, either!"

Salvador grinned. "She's got ya there, hermano."

Axton threw up his hands. "Fine. Whatever." He pulled out a chair across from Salvador and dropped into it. "What about you? What are you eating?"

"This?" Salvador lifted the burrito slightly. "This is me trying to make a little piece of home."

Gaige gave the tortilla a look usually reserved for the accidental discovery of a functioning landmine. "That's... that's not like the last little piece of home, is it?"

"Nah, no booze in this," Salvador assured her. "I'm just trying to get the hot sauce right." He smiled fondly. "That is a family recipe."

"Pandoran hotsauce, huh?" Axton leaned forward, licking his lips. "I do love me a good, spicy taco."

"Me, too," Salvador said, sighing deeply. "I just can't get it, though. Not enough kick to any of my tries."

"This is your latest attempt?" Gaige asked, taking the seat next to Axton.

"Yep." Salvador bit into the burrito and chewed thoughtfully, feeling the texture of his food. "Hmm... closer, but still not right." He sighed again and set it back on his plate.

"Mind if I try a bite?" Axton asked. "I haven't eaten all day, and that smells delicious."

"Go ahead," Salvador said, sliding the plate over. "If I'm gonna get a taste of home, it's gotta be the right taste. This one's just another failure."

"Cool, thanks." Axton picked up the burrito and started raising it to his mouth-

"Hang on!" Gaige's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. "Let me have half! I wanna try it, too!" She smiled at Salvador. "Even if the hot sauce came out weak, Sal's a surprisingly good cook."

"Get your own! He gave it to me!"

"It's big burrito! Come on!"

"I don't know why you two are fighting over it," Salvador said morosely. "I told you, it's no good."

"Let us be the judges of that." Gaige looked at Axton again. "Come on, split it with me."

"Oh, fine." Grudgingly, Axton pulled out his tomahawk and sliced the burrito in two. "Here. Enjoy."

Gaige glared at him. "Really? With the thing you've used to chop into people?"

"If you don't like it, don't eat it," Axton said haughtily. He set the weapon on the table. A thin line of Salvador's hot sauce lay on the edge. "Besides, I wash it. Occasionally."

"Dick." Gaige scooped up the burrito.

"Wuss." Axton raised his half back to his mouth.

Salvador glanced forlornly at Axton's tomahawk. "See what I mean? By now, the real burn should have kicked in. The sauce should have done way more than take the rust off."

Axton and Gaige, mouths full of burrito, paused much too late. "Whaf?"

"Abuela's recipe would have dissolved that thing by now! My weak little version's barely taken off a quarter inch of metal."

The next few seconds were very confused. Salvador had an impression of meat and vegetables flying across the mess decks, propelled by the explosive force of a pair of bodies acting out of the very deepest survival instincts. Then a mad scramble of limbs as both his friends practically levitated out of the room, dragged by their tongues to find the nearest source of relief for the inferno now blazing in their own, far too personal caustic caverns.

"Water doesn't help," Salvador called helpfully. "Try to find some milk!"

Alone amidst the failure of his burrito, he sighed again and wiped up a stray trail of his attempt at the family brew known as the Ovejas Surprise. He licked his finger, despairing at the miniscule burn. Bleah. Can't even use this as Stalker mace. Maybe with a few more corrosive rounds...

Down in the medical bay, Maya looked at Axton and Gaige and tried desperately not to laugh. It's not funny, she told herself. She blinked with the effort of holding back tears. It's not funny that they're both standing there with their tongues in the air, eyes watering and looking like they stuck their heads in the same water trough.

"How do you even get chemical burns on your tongue?" Her voice was mostly stable.

"Jutht get the heawing tabew weady, wiww wou?" Axton ordered as best he could.

"Weah." Gaige punched her fist into her metal palm. "We have buithneth wiff Thalwadaw."

[Seriously, thanks.]