Holy snikey's...two updates in a weekend. Happy Easter everyone. This is my gift to you lol.
Also you may have notcied I totally brain farted on the nurses name in the last chapter...calling her Ashley and Wendy...my bad. I was tired. And I'm also to lazy to fix it...so deal!
Mind Over Body
.This Is Stupid.
[][][]
When Dean finally finds his way to the paediatrics floor he's a ball of energy. He's made it there as fast as he could, wanting nothing more then to see his little brother with his own eyes and make sure he is okay. Stopping in the hall way of Sam's room he stands silently for a minute, taking in the sight before him. His heart clenches at the picture in front of him. Sam's sitting in the middle of the large hospital bed, with nothing but a diaper on. Even from the hallway Dean can see how flushed and sweaty looking his skin is. He has a bundle of wires stuck to little white sticky pads around his chest that lead off the left side of the bed to a heart monitor. His right hand has an IV that's surrounded by puffy gauze, padding, and tape that Dean assumes is to keep kids from pulling it out.
His dad is seated in a large leather recliner at Sam's bedside, and the two are conversing quietly amongst each other.
Swallowing stiffly, Dean finally takes a step into the room, clearing his throat loudly and purposely calling attention to himself. His heart seizes momentarily as Sam's little head turns towards him with tired eyes, but he doesn't miss the spark of joy in the young boys face when he notices Dean approaching the bed.
"Dean." Sam says out, relief washing over his features.
"Hey little dude," Dean says quietly, "How ya feeling?" he questions as he drops a palm to the back of Sam's neck, and runs his thumb back and forth through the curls at the back of Sam's head.
"I wanna go back ta'Bobby's." Sam whines out as he looks up towards Dean with a pleading stare.
"Yeah. You and me both, kiddo. I'm not too fond of hospitals myself but you're sick pretty bad Sammy." Dean sighs in worry.
Sam sighs loudly. "I wanna go back to Bobby's." he repeats to his brother, hoping that if he says it enough times that Dean will just give in, but always having the worst timing, Sam chokes through a small coughing fit as he feels Dean drop his hand to his back and gently rub some small circles. Sam can see his dad get to his feet beside the bed and he rubs a rough hand along Sam's small calf.
"Not yet, k?" Dean says as Sam fights to catch his breath "Lets get you better first."
"Gail." John announces as he sees the nurse come through the doorway "My oldest." John continues as he introduces Dean to the nurse. For a minute Gail is surprised, looking from John's youngest son sitting on the hospital bed, to the grown handsome man standing in front of her.
"Yeah, I'm the illegitimate half child." Dean casually says with a shrug and shake of his head as an excuse for the age gap.
Gail raises her eyebrows in John's direction, but the nurse is very good at hiding any judgement.
Johns face blushes a slight shade of pink as he watches Gail move towards a shelving unit, and John takes his chance to shoot Dean a threatening glare behind the nurses back.
"What?" Dean mouths to his dad with raised hands. "It's a cover."
Gail turns back around with a wire and little clip in her hand and John and Dean immediately stop their silent tirade. "Everything okay Gail?" John asks as she moves towards Sammy.
"Yes, yes. I can hear the poor dear coughing down the hallway. Sounds worse then before. Just want to make sure he keeps getting enough oxygen." She says as she moves forward with the pulse oximeter and clips it onto the toddlers toe. She rips a piece of tape and secures the clip to Sam's toe before grabbing the wire and plugging it into the heart monitor machine.
John sees a 95 pop up on the screen after the wire is plugged in. "Is that good?"
"It's alright." Gail replies. We just don't want it to fall below 90. No lunch yet?"
John shakes his head. "Nothing yet."
Gail sighs unimpressed. "It's been a crazy day I swear but those quacks in the kitchen need to get food out to patients -crazy or not. I'll go grab something for Sam and bring it back up."
"Thanks." John says to Gail's back as she leaves the room.
"Alright Sam. I'll be back as soon as I can. I'm gonna go talk with Bobby, find out what's up with this new lead." John says to his youngest and doesn't miss the pout that forms on his face. "I'll be in touch." He says as he drops a kiss to Sam's head.
"Dean, watch your brother." John says as he aims for the door.
"Always." is Dean's only reply. "So Sammy." Dean says as he stretches his back and moans at the cracks that work their way up it. "What to do." He says as he moves forward, grabs a magazine and flops down into the recliner.
"Dean!" Sam snaps out annoyed as his brother flops into the chair and throws his muddy, boot clad, feet up onto Sam's bed.
"You're such a prude." Dean replies without looking up from the magazine that he's slowly flipping through.
Sam doesn't miss that Dean is not acknowledging him in the least and still hasn't removed his boots from the bed. Sam rolls his eyes, weighing the odds and deciding muddy boots are not worth arguing over. At least not when he feels so crappy. But he's spared having to start any arguments when Gail comes walking through the door, covered food tray in hand.
"Boy get your muddy boots off the bed." Gail scolds as she makes her way into the room and swats Dean's leather covered feet with a firm hand.
Dean pulls his feet back, plants them firmly on the floor as he sits up straighter and mutters a 'yes ma'am'.
Sam's eyes are twinkling with held in laughter and amusement at the look of shocked disbelief on Dean's face.
"Much better." Gail smiles as she cups Dean's cheek in her hand. "And Dean?" She continues with a knowing look, "you'd be wise to keep'em there." she says playfully before slapping Dean's cheek lightly and pulling the rolling table closer to the bed.
"Alright, here we go Sammy." Gail smiles as she lifts the lid off the tray.
Sam's face drops as he looks at the gooey mess on the tray. There's a plate with three divided sections. All looking digesting and all having the consistency of sloppy baby food. He watches as Gail picks up a spoonful of the pink mess and he quickly turns his head away before she can get anywhere near him. Sam hears her sigh but he really doesn't care.
"Hey um Gail, I've got this." Dean casually says as he stands up beside Gail and Sam. She looks impressed with Dean as she hands the spoon over and leaves the room.
"Okay." Dean mutters as he sits onto the side of the bed and scoops some pink gloop onto the spoon. Dean makes a face, but quickly tries to hide his look of disgust as he lifts it towards Sam's face. His brother turns away again.
"Look Sam. I can feed you or I can call Gail back and she can feed you. What's it gonna be?"
"This is stupid." is what Dean hears muttered from Sam.
"You're stupid, now hurry up and eat." Dean snarks to Sam who has his arms crossed in front of his chest.
Sam turns towards Dean and does his best to fight the tears forming in his eyes.
Dean immediately feels guilty, forgetting that he shouldn't be teasing Sam as much as he normally would. Because let's face it -things aren't normal. "Sorry." He murmurs to his younger sibling. "Can you just eat. Please?"
Sam contemplates for a minute then nods and opens his mouth. His cheeks are flushed with more then fever. He's humiliated having to be fed like a baby, but when he really thinks about it, it's bad enough it's Dean feeding him. It would be 10 times worse if it was a stranger having to do it.
The food doesn't taste as bad as Sam expected. It's certainly not good. But it could be worse. Dean's not so good at hitting Sam's mouth and has to keep wiping the spilled mess from his chin and chest. Sam almost wants to laugh because it looks like he's getting more frustrated by the task as the minutes go on.
After Dean finishes feeding Sam he throws the lid back on the tray and shoves the rolling table to the door. "Uh, good god." He complains as he wipes the remnants of sticky food on his pants.
Both boys are sitting talking, waiting to hear news from dad or Bobby when Dean smells it. He knows Sam has dirtied his diaper and tries to think of the easiest way of getting him changed without a fight. He hops up, grabbing the supplies he'll need and sets them on the bed beside Sam. He reaches his hands forward to grab Sam and lay him back on the bed.
"No Dean." Sam says as he places his small hands on his brother hands and tries to stop him from proceeding any further with the diaper change.
"Sam." Dean says with a warning tone to his voice, alerting his brother to stop fighting him on everything.
Sam stills his movements. Fights back another round of tears and can't help but feel frustrated with himself. With being little. With wanting to do nothing but sit and cry over the humiliation of his life.
"This is stupid." he practically sobs as tears spring from his eyes and run down his cheeks.
Dean's stern face crumbles as a pained sigh escapes his mouth and he scoops his brother into his arms. All he can do is hold Sam as his brother continues to cry into shirt. Sam's body shakes in wretched sobs.
"Th-th-this…i-is" Sam stutters out between choked cries.
"I know. I get it. This is stupid." Dean expresses loudly, "You know, I can't even begin to imagine how bad this sucks for you, believe me, I've tried. But there's nothing we can do about it now. Nothing we can do about the witches curse -except deal with the fallout and wait for a cure. And I don't want you to be embarrassed Sammy. Not by me, or dad, or even Bobby. We'd do anything for you Sammy. We'll do anything for you. Don't be embarrassed to let us help you. Don't be ashamed about anything you need Sammy. We've got you, okay? We'll always have you."
Dean hears Sam snuffling into his shirt, feels his little brother's hands clinging onto the material and doesn't miss the small nod against his chest.
"Alright." Dean says in relief as he lays Sam onto his back across the the bed and pulls the diaper and wipes closer to him. He feels awful, standing there looking over his brother. Tiny legs curled up against himself, arms pulled in and crossed above his throat. But mostly it's Sam's blue green eyes, red rimmed and still filled with tears that makes Dean's heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest.
Dean gently grabs Sam's ankles, stretching them down and out of the way, then pulls open the fabric tabs of the diaper. He works as fast as he can, removing the dirty diaper, then wiping Sam's bottom clean with baby wipes. He lobs the dirty diaper into the trash from across the room and grabs the clean diaper. Grabbing Sam's ankles into one hand he lifts his brothers butt off the bed just enough to slip the diaper under it. He pulls the flap forward through Sam's legs and velcros the little tabs closed.
Sam sniffles when Dean is finished. Wipes an arm across his wet eyes then crawls himself up his bed.
"You okay?" Dean asks concerned.
"Can you just turn on the tv." Sam says back dejectedly as he rolls on his side away from Dean and more tears silently fall from his eyes.
"Sure Sammy."
And that's how they spend the rest of the afternoon. Sam doesn't mean to make Dean feel bad. Hopes Dean doesn't take it personally. But there's only so much Sam can handle in a day, and he's well past his embarrassment quota.
That night around 6 a nurse comes in to fit a tired Sammy with an oxygen mask. He's been coughing more, which Dean has been assured is actually a good thing, but they just want to help Sammy breath a little easier.
"Shhh baby, you've got to keep this on sweetie." the nurse coo's to Sam as she pulls the oxygen mask back down over his nose and mouth.
Dean can see him already starting to shake his head and reach his hands up to rip the offending object off his face again. "Can I hold him?" Dean asks the nurse as he walks to the bed and grabs the mask that Sam has just pulled from his face.
"If you can get him to keep this on then I'm all for it." the nurse states with a slightly frustrated sigh, as she grabs the mask from Dean.
"Yeah, I can do that." Dean says determinedly.
"Alright grab a seat." the nurse says as she nods to the large recliner chair beside the bed.
Dean moves backwards, falling into the comfortable leather and kicking the foot rest up. He watches the nurse as she moves around Sam's bed and lowers the guard rail.
"Come here sweetie, you want to sit with your big brother." she whispers soothingly to the small boy as she reaches down and lifts Sam up towards herself. She cradles his body against her own, careful of the wires connected from the toddler and she slowly turns and lowers him into Dean's waiting arms.
Dean moves Sam into the groove of his arm, his little brothers head resting near the nook of his elbow as his two tiny feet sit one on top of the other on Dean's thigh.
"We're still keeping an eye on his fever but it seems to have come down and stayed down. Just to be safe, nothing heavier then this on him for tonight." the nurse says as she turns and drapes a light, teddy covered sheet across the arm chair.
Dean nods quickly, barely shifting his glance from Sam, who's blinking owlishly in his arms.
"And here's the fun part." she continues as she moves forward with the mask and slips it onto Sam's face again. She pulls the green band running behind his head tight to hold the mask in place.
Sam hates the feeling of the mask. The feeling of the plastic enclosing his nose and mouth. Reaching up to pull it off he's annoyed when Dean's hand catches his own and stops him from pulling the plastic off.
"Nu'uh Sammy. Gotta keep that on kiddo." Dean speaks softly as he moves Sam's hand away from the mask.
Sam groans annoyed. Kicks a leg out in frustration then just tries to sit up all together.
Dean grabs onto his brother who's currently putting up the fight of a century to try and avoid falling asleep. He lowers him back into his arm even as Sam continues to fight against his hold. "My god you're stubborn." Dean mumbles to himself.
Sam flops his head from side to side. Tries pushing his arms against Dean to make him loosen his hold but his brothers not giving in.
"Easy bud, just sleep." Deans repeating quietly to Sam who's still doing his best to free himself of Dean's hold. "S'alright, you're alright Sam. I gotcha, s'alright." Dean continues to softly chant as he notices Sam's erratic movements beginning to still and his eyes blinking heavily. "That's it Sammy, I gotcha. Shhhh." Dean whispers as he rubs a hand across Sam's forehead. The motion causes Sam's eyes to blink shut before he lazily opens them. Dean continues to rub his hand across Sam's forehead and through his hair and he notices that each time the young boy closes his eyes, it takes that much longer to open them the next time. Finally Sam's eyes stay shut and Dean knows his brothers asleep when his little fingers twitch on his hand.
"Night Sammy." Dean whispers as he cradles Sam closer to himself and places a kiss on the boys forehead. He reaches sideways grabbing the teddy patterned blanket and drapes it across Sam's legs before he lays his own head back against the chair and closes his eyes. Quickly finding a peaceful sleep.
Can I has reviews? I will give you cookies :)
lol jks. But I'd really like to know if this chapter just made you feel miserable for poor little Sammy. Jeez I'm evil.
Do you want more?