Chapter Twelve: I Will Play My Game Beneath The Spin Light

Lucas hurried to Brooke's door, turning the handle knowingly it would be unlocked. A small smile etched his features, but this smile was weak and forced for his heart had just been shattered within his chest. He stepped inside quietly, expecting to see a smiling Brooke, but what he got instead was not what he had expected. Brooke was on her bed, arms wrapped around a pillow that she silently cried into. When she met Lucas' gaze her eyes were bloodshot and her own heart was breaking.

"Brooke." he managed weakly taking a step towards her.

"Lucas." she replied coldly her eyes narrowing into a glare. She could hardly believe he still had the nerve to show up in her bedroom.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly now standing at the edge of her bed. No matter his feelings for Peyton he would always care for Brooke, always. She had been more than a friend to him and she had shown him a lot of good times. He would never forget that.

"You." her reply was short and so much contempt laced through her voice as she said the one word.

Lucas raised both eyebrows averting his eyes from her and began to look around the room. He had half expected this, he had always wondered if she secretly knew what was going on between him and Peyton and just never let on.

"You know, for the first time in my life I actually thought you were something. A boy actually meaning something to me. But I can't believe I was so stupid to believe that you weren't like any of the other guys. You were so sweet to me, so good to me. And I thought, 'wow he is really amazing'. I didn't care so much that you hung around with Peyton a lot. I wanted you to. I was really happy that she found someone with the same interests. Then I got scared, because for the first time in my life, I felt something more than a physical attraction. I wanted the emotional connection with you Lucas. I wanted it all and I knew you could be the boy I could share it with. Then I ask you to come over tonight and you stop at my best friends house for god knows what—"

"Its not like that with Peyton." he interjected.

"I know Peyton wouldn't do anything to hurt me. But you obviously you would like to spend more time with her than your own girlfriend. Honestly Luke, I was set on spilling my heart out to you, kissing you, making love with you. And now I can't believe I had been so stupid. If you didn't want to date me, all you had to do was say so. Not lie to me about where you go when you've been hanging out with my best friend. I wouldn't have minded if you would have just told me."

Lucas' mouth hung open slightly; he was completely taken aback by her speech. He grasped for words but they would not come. When they finally did his sentence was weak and wan.

"Brooke, why didn't you tell me how you really felt sooner?"

"Because, I was afraid this would happen. Turns out, I was right."

Lucas sighed running his hands through his sandy hair. "Brooke, I didn't mean for things to happen like this."

"Whatever Lucas. Just get out, don't let the door hit you on the way." she replied, her eyes narrowed in a cold stare.

She watched as Lucas left without another word, his head hanging as he did so. She wanted to believe that she was strong, that she could handle the heartbreak. But the tears came anyway. They spilled from her eyes and she could not control them. Her mind was still filled with the intense blue eyes that belonged to Lucas Scott and his figure that only minutes before stood at the foot of her bed. She wished she could yell out to him, make him come back. But in her heart she knew that she would not have been able to handle seeing him again. She wanted him back the minute he left. Why did she let him go when she wanted him so bad? The answer was there, sitting right in front of her. It was obvious he would have rather spent more time with a person he had more in common with. It was a complete waste of six months. Never again would she let herself get close to another boy like she had with Lucas Scott. He may have been the only boy she gave everything for.

--

Peyton awoke the next morning with the residue of last nights actions hanging over her like a storm cloud. She could still see so vividly in her mind the defeated look of Lucas Scott as he left her room last night. His final plea, and her final rejection thrown at him. She felt dirty in her own skin, even the shower the previous night could not wash away the feel of his lips against her neck or the way his fingers longingly brushed away her curly blonde bangs. She sighed heavily staring about her room. Her life was in complete shambles now. She closed her eyes and the haunting memory of last night came flooding back.

i"So we're done?" he had asked in a whisper his eyes trailing down to the floor and his shoes. He could not look at Peyton and she did not want him too. For she knew if she met his defeated gaze she would conform and let him back in.

"Yes." she had replied with finality feeling the regret pulse through her veins. All she really wanted was to leap in his arms and kiss him the way she wished he always would. But they could not go on in secrecy and she did not want to hurt Brooke. This was not the way she had wanted to live her life.

She half expected Lucas to shuffle out of her room dejectedly, not bothering to look back at the girl who broke his heart. But when he did not Peyton's eyes slowly moved upwards to meet Lucas' hard blazing gaze. He had no intentions of leaving tonight without a fight. She would not have expected anything less of him.

"Peyton, please don't do this. This, us, we can work I know we can." his voice was strained. She could tell it was his last standing argument.

"I know we could work Lucas. But at whose expense? I don't want to hurt Brooke. She was always there for me. Always. When my mom died and ever time my dad left for his sailing trips, she was there. I can't—"

Before she could finish Lucas pressed his lips against hers but Peyton pulled away finding her eyes staring back at his.

"Luke…"

She found herself searching within the blue iris of his eyes. In the next instant she was kissing him again her arms wrapping around his neck. Their lips worked in time with one another and Lucas gently laid her back on to the bed. He hovered over her, pressing his lips against the nape of her neck. Her fingers slowly worked their way beneath his shirt feelings every muscular line in his chest and back. She lifted his shirt over his head and threw it across the room kissing down his muscular chest. He moaned slightly shifting to kiss her lips again. His hands worked quickly, ridding her of her top leaving her in only her bra. He kissed her neck, his lips moving down to kiss her chest and they slowly trailed down to her stomach sucking gently on the skin. She brought his face back to hers smiling slightly her lips pressing hard for his. She granted his tongue entrance and he deepened the kiss. His fingers fumbled clumsily with the snap of her jeans and he slowly pulled her jeans down her long slender legs. She felt a moan escape her throat as his lips returned to the nape of her neck. Her fingers carelessly unsnapped the button to his jeans and he kicked them off with ease. Their lips returned to one another's each kiss becoming deeper and deeper. The passion was rising between them, the spark of the inferno becoming out of control. One night, so many countless mistakes could she finally get what she wanted?

Lucas pulled away hovering over her, the ghost of his last kiss still resonating on her lips. "I love you Peyton." he moaned diving back to return his lips to hers. She moved away coming into full realization of what they were doing. Sex could not happen like this. Not when there was a girl who was waiting for Lucas at her home so she could profess her love to him.

Lucas looked at her but she did not meet his gaze and rolled out from underneath him. She suddenly felt naked beneath his stare. She moved for the sake of putting distance between them.

"Peyton." his whisper was low and strangled.

"Please Lucas just go." she turned her back to him. She waited and listened until he had left and then the tears came.