Already Gone

Chapter 12 – Your Arms Feel Like Home

Disclaimer: They aren't mine and never will be.

A/N: You all truly blew me away last chapter. I'm so sorry that the update took longer than I planned. But Real Life threw me for a loop this week and my muse flew the coop because of it. So please forgive me.

Please listen to Your Arms Feel Like Home by 3 Doors Down

Ranger's POV

When Stephanie said that, about the person I choose to love, I felt my heart turn over in my chest. She's leaving me again. She doesn't love me. I pulled her into my arms, telling her that I chose her and begging God to help her see that without her, there is no me. She is my last puzzle piece. Without her, there will always be a hole in my heart, and my world will never be complete.

I fell to my knees and buried my head in her stomach. I could no longer control my emotions. My blank face was gone, and my body shook as tears fell from my eyes, while I whispered my prayer, "Please, my love, please."

I heard her voice and felt her hands running through my hair. "Ranger … sweetheart."

I let go of her body and sat down on the sand, facing the crashing waves, and hid my face in my hands. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, trying to regain my control.

Steph sat down behind me and gently rubbed my back. She was giving me space to get my emotions back in place. We sat for a minute before she started to speak again.

"You didn't let me finish …"

"Oh, God," my voiced cracked. "You don't want to be with me, do you?" I tried to steal myself for the heartbreak to come.

"You might be surprised by what I have to say, if you'd actually give me the chance to finish a sentence! You've always been the one person who'd listen to me without interruption. Please, let me finish!" she demanded.

I could tell she was nearing rhino-mode. "I'm afraid to hear what you're trying to say. I don't want to lose you. I don't think I'd survive it."

Steph crawled around in the sand to my front, where my legs were bent in front of me, my arms resting on my knees. I allowed her to move my arms and legs so she could slide onto my lap. My shattered soul eased just a bit; holding her was better than anything. It always brought me comfort.

"Ranger, look at me." I kept my eyes closed, refusing to meet her gaze. "Carlos …" she placed her finger under my chin, and I let her pull my face up. "I was trying to tell you that the person you choose to love is one very lucky girl, who doesn't intend on giving you up anytime soon. I love you, Carlos."

I sucked in a breath, afraid to believe the words I'd heard were meant for me, the words I'd longed to hear from her for years. She really loved me? An unaccustomed feeling of doubt raced through my heart and mind.

She chuckled, "You heard me right. I love you." Steph quickly kissed my lips before leaning back. "I meant everything I said to you the other night after the distraction. I remember everything. I wasn't drunk. I sure hadn't had enough to numb the pain of you walking out after I told you I loved you. I felt all of that." Her beautiful blue eyes swam with tears.

Those unshed tears snapped me out of my stupor. "Babe, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm sorry you felt like I didn't want you. Steph … I've never wanted anything as badly as I've wanted you. I was trying to protect myself. I thought you wouldn't remember what you were saying, and if you did, you would tell me that you didn't mean it."

Steph sighed. "Hearing you say that explains a lot of your actions, Ranger. But why did you feel the need to protect yourself? Why were you scared of me?"

"I've never been good at relationships. In my line of work, it's dangerous to let someone in. I thought I was protecting you. I've realized now what a mistake that was."

"We can't do this to each other anymore; we're miserable without each other. I think in the past you pushed me away because you were afraid to take a chance, and I let you, well, because it was easier, and I guess I was scared, too. We both knew something was there, neither of us can deny we felt it. When you touched me, you liked it just as much as I did. When you've kissed me, it was magic."

I captured her lips in a slow kiss that held the promise of things to come. "Steph, I need you to know that when you left, I'd already started the process of restructuring RangeMan. I want a life with you, and I'm ready for our someday."

"I want that, too. I just don't trust us not to screw this up." She dropped her face down to avoid my eyes. "I think I'm afraid of being happy, because every time I'm happy, something bad always happens."

I placed my hands on each side of her face and tilted her head back until she met my eyes. "That's where you're wrong. Being together makes us stronger. We can face anything bad that comes our way. As long as you're with me, we're unstoppable."

She smiled and looked out at the ocean. "I know that we still have a ton of things that we need to discuss, but could we take a break? Just for a bit?"

I quirked my eyebrow. "We can. What do you want to do?"

"Well, to say that this week has been stressful, for the both of us, would be an understatement. I thought that we could just hang out here on the beach and relax, decompress a little before we continue talking."

I slid Steph off my lap and stood up, pulling her up with me. "We can do that."

I smirked down at her before throwing her over my shoulder and running off towards the water. Steph was kicking, screaming, and laughing the whole way.

"Carlos, don't you dare!"

I thought about the consequences for a split second, decided I might like her form of punishment, then tossed her into an oncoming wave, laughing as she hit the water.

She stood up, glaring at me before stalking towards me. Uh oh. I held open my arms to her, and she lunged at me. She shocked me with the force of her attack, and it caught me off balance, forcing me under the water. I stood up and wrapped her in my arms. "That was mean, Babe."

She was trying to stop the giggles escaping her lips. "That wasn't mean! That's called revenge, mister."

"Just remember. Two can play that game," I said, smirking.

We spent the next few hours playing in the ocean and laying out in the sun. It was a little after one when Steph's stomach started growling. "Come on," I chuckled, "let's go feed the beast."

We went to a little beachside café, and had subs and salads before heading to the pool to spend the rest of the afternoon lounging around.

Sometime later …

We had abandoned the conversation from earlier, and I couldn't handle waiting any longer. I needed to resolve any unsettled problems between us. I sat up in the lounge chair and asked Steph to come sit with me. She agreed, and I pulled her down in the chair with her back to my front, wrapping my arms around her.

"Stephanie, I want you know that I love you, and I've never felt that I deserved you. But I'm so thankful you've picked me."

"Sitting here in your arms," she blew out a breath before continuing. "I now know what true love is, and that thanks goes to you. Your arms to me … they feel like home."

"Speaking of home, I was just wondering ... When do you want to head back to Trenton?"

She took a deep breath and held it for a moment before answering. "Ranger, I'm not going back."

TBC …

A/N: I know another cliffie but at least this one isn't as bad. Right???? Leave a review and get a sneak peek of the next chapter.