Things have taken a turn for the absolute worst. I don't know how to handle it anymore! I'm all alone in this big stupid city, because Mr. Ismay won't even talk to me! I haven't seen him in days, aside from a picture or two of him in the newspaper. I couldn't read what the paper said about the pictures, but I think the boy trying to sell it was calling Mr. Ismay the biggest coward of the century. This city is terribly mean!
The day after our outing to Coney Island, what seems like forever ago today, Mr. Ismay got a note telling him he had to report to some kind of Inquiry. He told me it would be best if I didn't attend. At first I wasn't sure why he wouldn't want me to attend, but decided it must be for my own good. Maybe it would be boring or something, who knows. I didn't even know what the Inquiry was about. I figured out what was going on after the first day though. When Mr. Ismay got back after that first day of the Inquiry, he went into his room and wouldn't speak to me. I wasn't sure what happened at first, but he must be upset, which probably meant the Inquiry had something to do with Titanic! I left him alone that day.
Three more days passed he still didn't speak to me, and I began to get angry. So much for asking if I needed anything! On the fith day of him not speaking to me, I angrily went to his door and pounded on it until my hand felt like it would break, and I screamed at him to open the door until my voice went hoarse! He even had the nerve to answer my cries through the door, he told me to piss off! How dare he! He can't just abandon me here! The big jerkface! When he told me to piss off I called him some very nasty things through his door. But the last thing I said I believe stung the worst, for both Mr. Ismay and for myself. I was so angry though, and it came out before I could think about it "I hate you Mr. Ismay, you stupid coward! I wish you'd died on the Titanic instead of Mr. Andrews!". With that I gave the door a final angry kick before storming into my room and slamming the door behind me.
I have not been out of my room since. Nobody has bothered me, thank goodness, but it's so lonely being in here. And after all my anger wore off I could do nothing but sob into my pillow! I promised my father I'd be a good girl and then I nearly broke down a man's door and said nasty things just because I wasn't getting my way! Especially that last one, although thinking deeper into it, it is true. I do wish my father was here instead of Mr. Ismay. But do I really wish for Mr. Ismay to have died? No, I wish nobody had died on the Titanic, I wish my father AND Mr. Ismay were here with me in New York. Today is a new day though, at least, I hope it is. So far I haven't had the urge to cry, but then again, it's still rather early in the morning, and I'm thinking about some hurtful things.
As I lie in my bed staring up at the ceiling, a piece of paper sitting on my bedside table catches my eye and drags me away from my painful thoughts. I've been so emotional lately, I must not have noticed it. I sit up and pick up the paper, trying to read it. Wait a moment, this is Joey's address! I recognize his handwriting. That's it! I'll go see Joey like I promised! If anyone can get me feeling better after all this chaos, it'll be him! Maybe today I can get the horse of my dreams! But wait, I'm going to need money for that! And Mr. Ismay has the money, but he won't talk to me.
That isn't going to stop me though! I open my door and march over to his room, I think he's still in there, the Inquiry doesn't start for another hour according to my father's pocket watch, which I checked before coming over here! I knock on the door and call in an absurdly high squeaky voice "Cleaning service!". I press my ear against the door and listen carefully, will he buy it? Will he open the door? Suddenly there's a click and then there's no door holding me up, I fall on my face, but at least I'm in the room!
Mr. Ismay is looking down at me with a surprised look on his face "Alice! What are you doing?" he demands, helping me up. I brush off my nightgown before looking up at him "I need something, but I knew you wouldn't open the door! So I lied!" I reply honestly. He stares at me flabbergasted before clearing his throat "Alright then, what do you want?" he asks. Suddenly I feel a little guilty asking for money, especially after I was so mad at him the other day. I swallow "Money sir" I reply timidly. He turns on his heel and heads across the room to a desk that's covered with papers. He rips open a drawer that is filled to the brim with green paper, he pulls out 2 handfulls and shoves them into me "There, now, if you would please leave I have to get ready to leave soon!".
He pushes me out of his room and slams the door behind me. Fine then! I have to leave soon too! I head back over to my room and put the money on my bed, carefully sorting through it. This currency is different than what we have in Ireland, I don't know how much this is! I suppose it's a lot though, I quickly call for the maid and begin rummaging through the boxes to see if I can find a bag of some kind to carry all this American currency in! By the time I find one, the maid is knocking at my door and I quickly let her in. I know what to expect by now, she's going to ask me what I want to wear. I hand her the bag "Fine something to match this bag!" I tell her.
With my request, she begins going through all the dresses, finding a red and white one. She makes quick work dressing me too, which is nice. I just want to get out and find Joey! When she finishes I grab my bag of American money and practically run out of the room down to the lobby of the hotel. How do I get to this address anyway? I don't know how to read it really, and even if I could read it, I don't know how to get around this strange city! I suppose I'll have to catch a cab and hope he can get me there! I step out onto the street, it's so busy! But it's so early in the morning, actually, I reach into my coat pocket and check my father's pocket watch, it's only 10.
Now, which one of these is a cab? Is it these yellow ones? I timidly walk up to one parked outside the hotel, opening the back door and stepping in. The driver turns around "First time in the big city little lady?" he asks. I nod nervously and hand him the paper with the address "Don't be so nervous! I'll get you where you want to be, this is a cab. But uh, are you sure this is the right address?" he asks, looking down at the paper "This is in the slums! No place for a first class lady like yourself". I nod "It's right, I uh, met a friend on my trip to New York, that's the address he gave me" I tell him. He shrugs and begins driving.
What is a slum anyway? I wonder what mother would think of me going to this 'slum' that no first class ladies are supposed to be going to. Oh shoot! I still haven't written to mother! She must be panicking because she hasn't heard from my father or from me! Do I have to write a letter though? Maybe I should send a telegram instead, it would be a lot faster! Suddenly the car comes to a stop in front of a dirty looking brick building "Here we are miss" he says. I have to pay don't I? I reach into my bag and begin pulling out bills. How many of these do I give him? I'll give him five! I hand him the bills and he laughs "Miss, you just gave me 500 dollars!" he tells me. Oh, that's a bit much isn't it? I take back four of the bills before getting out before he can stop me. I'm well aware I just gave him 100 dollars, but I think that all Mr. Ismay gave me was hundred dollar bills!
So, now what? I knock on the door of the building and swallow. A kid answers the door, maybe a few years younger than me. He's got a cigarette in his mouth and his dark hair is shaggy and unkempt, practically covering his eyes. He puffs smoke up at me "What can I do ya lady?" he asks, I swallow nervously "I'm lookin for Joey?" I say. He nods and pushes the door open all the way, tramping inside "Hey Joey! Got some rich dame at the door!" he calls. I hear some thumping from upstairs before I see the red head peak down the stairs "Alice! I thought you would never come!" he says cheerfully "Just give me a minute to get ready!".
I decide to just stand quietly and wait. Honestly, I'm a little scared of who I might encounter here. The boy that answered the door didn't really give me any high hopes, what if I get robbed in here? I think I realize now what that cab driver was talking about when he said this was no place for a first class lady! Suddenly a tall fellow with light brown hair wearing a white shirt and brown vest comes into one of the doorways, leaning against it "Hey there. I hear you're here for Joey" he says. I nod and he approaches slowly "Aw, why be here for him. I'm way better than he could ever dream o bein!". Joey finally comes down the stairs "Rooster ya better not be harrassing 'er!" he says with a goofy smile. This man, Rooster I suppose his name is, shrugs "How'd ya manage to get a pretty rich gal Joey? Gals livin on Easy Street are practically impossible to even talk to!".
Easy street? I voice my confusion "What's easy street?" I ask him, he laughs "It's the life you rich folks live! Livin on easy street, means your life is easy! Dressed in the very best" he gestures to my dress "And eatin like a king, or queen. Never havin to work a day in yer life!". I smile "You make it sound like heaven. You know, I used to be poorer than you!" I tell him. Rooster once again laughs "Ain't nobody poorer than me!" he replies. I need to just tell Joey what I want, I didn't come here to socialize with this Rooster fellow, no matter how entertaining he's turning out to be.
"Joey, I want you to take me to Belmont racetrack, to see the claiming races you were talking about!" I tell him. His smile drops slightly "I'm afraid I can't bring ya Alice, otherwise I would" he replies sadly. I tip my head "Why can't you?" I ask him, really, why can't he? He sighs "All the racetracks in New York are closed, racing has been outlawed in this state" he replies sadly. How am I supposed to get the horse now? He takes my arm "Hey, don't get upset! I still know a place to get horses!" he tells me in his usual cheerful way.
With that Joey takes me out and we walk, and walk, and walk! Just when I think I can't walk another step he pulls me around a corner and I'm met by a sea of horses! It's like that book come to life! Horses, all different sizes and colors, all here in this one place! Joey laughs "Like what ya see eh? Come on, I bet we can find a horse like in that pictya right here!" he tells me. With that we begin going down the rows of horses. Some of them are small and cute, sniffing at children's hands as they reach out to pet them, others are massive, if the Titanic were a horse, it would be those ones! Some of them were kicking and pawing at the ground nervously. Each of them wanting a new home, but none of them are the horse from the picture.
Suddenly something catches my eye, a tall grey horse, it's ears pricked and it's eyes bright like stars. It swishes it's black tail and shakes it's pretty head, revealing a white spot hidden by it's black mane. That's it! That's the horse! Right there! I drag Joey over and point at her "This is the one Joey!" I tell him. He looks at the horse, shaking his head "She's heavy with a foal lass, she ain't gonna be any good for ridin" he tells me. I shake my head "I don't care! This is the one Joey!". The man, who I assume is the owner, smiles, oh, um, that's interesting, I didn't know teeth could fall out of adults.
"I see the lady has an eye for fine animals. Give me a thousand and she's yours!" he says, Joey looks like he's going to try to barter over the crazy amount, but I laugh, pulling out ten of those green bills and handing them to the man. Joey stares at the money as though I just pulled solid blocks of gold out of my bag. I turn to him "What's the matter? Get my horse!" I say. He jumps "Oh yea, right! Sorry" he dips into the horse's pen and puts a lead line on it, leading it out behind him. As we begin walking back towards the brick building he watches my horse "What do ya think you're gonna call 'er lass?" he asks me curiously. What am I going to call her? There are so many names to choose from, but I know of one that sticks out of my mind the most "White Star".
Yes, White Star, after the White Star Line. Mr. Ismay techincally payed for her, so therefore I think it would be fitting that she was named after his company that he loves so much. The company my father designed Titanic for. Now that I have the horse though, where am I supposed to keep it? I can't take a horse that is about to have a baby back to Ireland with me. And where in Belfast am I supposed to put her? I really should have thought this all out more. When we reach Joey's house I put a hand on White Star's shoulder, it's my first time touching a real horse! I wish my father was here to share the moment with me, he would have loved this horse. I look at Joey "Can you do something for me Joey?" I ask, he smiles and nods "Can you take care of her for me?" I give him the bag loaded with money "That should be enough to take care of her, and her baby when it comes".
He stares at the money and at the horse for a long time before nodding "She'll be treated like a queen" he replies. Now here we are, I think I'm going to have to bid farewell to my new horse, and to my friend. His face changes "Aw Alice, don't cry!" he tells me, am I crying? I sniffle, I can't help crying, I'm going to miss them so much! He opens his arms and I fall into them "I'm going to miss you Joey" I tell him. He laughs "Nah, it'll be alright. We'll write to each other! Ya?" he asks. I nod "Yes! I'll write to you!" I tell him "I promise!". He suddenly pulls away "Well ya betta tell me where ta send the letter to then!" he tells me. I have to think for a moment before I can finally tell him.
Now that everything's settled, I turn to White Star, my new prize. I got her so quickly, almost thoughtlessly, and now I'm leaving her in Joey's more than capable hands. I trust him, he'll take good care of my pretty horse. I stroke her nose and she nuzzles my hand. What a sweetheart! Father used to call me sweetheart, I sniffle and wrap my arms around her neck, beginning to cry a little into her grey coat. I don't look at Joey, but I'm sure he's very confused as to why I'm crying again. Suddenly I feel his hand on my back "I know you must miss yer pa, he seemed like a greay guy. But he wouldn't want ya cryin! He's want ya embracin life! He'd want ya to get out there in the world and live life to the fullest! He did, now it's yer turn!" he tells me.
It takes a moment for it all to sink in, but when it does, I realize he's absolutely right! I should live life to the fullest! My father did, now I should carry on what he did, and live the best life I can! I turn back to Joey and hug him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek "I have to go back, to easy street now" I say. We both laugh over Rooster's idea of the rich life. "Goodbye Joey" I finally say. He smiles a big smile "Goodbye Miss Alice, glad to have met ya!" he replies in his usual fashion. I turn back to White Star and give her a peck on the nose before heading down the street. Joey calls out to me "Hey!", I turn "You're going the wrong way!" he tells me. I laugh and begin walking the opposite direction.
Since I gave all my money to Joey to take care of White Star, I have to walk all the way back to the hotel. By the time I get there, it's dark out. Of course the city itself is illuminated by many lights, so it doesn't feel as dark. I'm just glad I wasn't jumped on my way back here, there were some shady areas I had to go through before a nice man finally gave me proper directions. I'm so tired from all this walking! In these shoes! In this corset! I just want to go sleep for a week! And I'd be able to too, since Mr. Ismay still won't talk to me. I'm sure he'd go back across the ocean without me if his guilty conscience would allow it!
When I step into the lobby of the hotel, I'm confronted by a sight that is both confusing and heartbreaking at the same time. Mr. Ismay is sitting in one of the plush chairs, he looks like he's trying to hide tears. Should I approach him? I walk up to him slowly and the closer I get, the more confused and upset I become. I touch his shoulder "Mr. Ismay?" I ask. His eyes snap up and meet mine, he looks terribly upset about something. He jumps up suddenly and wraps his arms around me "Don't leave again! I thought you'd run away and I'd lost you! I'm sorry how I treated you this morning, and that I have been neglectent! Please don't leave!" he practically sobs. I don't want to cause a scene in the middle of this place, I take his hand and begin leading him to the lifts "It's alright Mr. Ismay" I tell him, giving him a reassuring smile and squeezing his hand, it seems to sooth his nerves.
Neither of us says a word until we get back up to the safety of our cabins. Even then, few words are spoken. We both apologize for our poor behavior towards one another, and decide in this time of grief we both need to stick together. One he leaves the room I call the maid to change me for bed. I hardly pay any mind to her as she helps me out of my corset and leaves the room. I pull Dip the beat to my chest and close my eyes to think about what Mr. Ismay said before he left me for the night, we're heading home tomorrow.
Was eager to get this chapter out quickly because I have to pack my laptop up. I'm leaving on a band trip to Virginia Beach tomorrow! Don't worry though, the Epilogue is already partially written, when I get a free moment I'll definately finish it up and post it! I'll be especially modivated because on the 7 hour bus ride down I'm going to be reading 'Thomas Andrews, Shipbuilder'. I'll probably add lots of tidbits from that into my story, especially a certain little thing I learned in chapter one concerning little Tommie and a Shetland Pony.
I'm really sad to see this fanfiction end. It's one of my favorites! Actually, this just might BE my favorite fanfiction I've ever written! It's not perfect by any means of the word, but I just love it. I've loved researching Titanic and Thomas Andrews, and yes I've even enjoyed researching Mr. Ismay, which I had to do extensively for the later chapters!
THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I love you reviewer people so much! Special thanks to CatalynMJ88, virtual cupcakes for you! Also, might as well mention, I loved your fic. Anyone who hasn't read it yet, 'Yours, Tommie' is awesome! Go read it!
As always, thanks for reading! Only one more chapter to go!