Chapter 12

One way or another, he should have known that he would end up in that place. As he climbed up the steps to the townhouse, leaving Diggle in the car, he thought about how this was different from the first time he went to see Felicity in her office. He was early, the townhouse was old and fancy. He rang the doorbell and the door was opened by an elderly man moments later.

"Mr. Queen, welcome. I'm Mr. Carter." he said as he stepped inside to let him in. "Professor Alberto is expecting you in his office. Let me take your jacket."

"I'm fine." he brushed off and followed the man. The inside of the house reminded him of the Queen Mansion. The parlor was filled with paintings depicting various landscapes and some old men posing in their fancy clothes. He shook his head as they climbed up the steps of the spiral staircase. A similarly aged man with white, balding hair was waiting for them at the top.

"Mr. Queen, welcome." The man, Professor Alberto gave him a weak handshake. That was more than enough reason for Oliver to dislike the man immediately. "I wasn't expecting you for another ten minutes, knowing your reputation of always being late."

Oliver didn't say anything but walked behind the old man, gritting his teeth. They entered an office he considered as the stereotypical office he had in mind for psychiatrists. The first thing he noticed was the strong smell of old cigarettes. The room was dark with dark mahogany furniture and bookcases stretching from wall to wall filled with leather-bounded books. His mind was made up when he sat down on the uncomfortable red armchair. It wasn't going to work out with Professor Alberto. The constant judgmental looks the old man was giving him were not going to help either. He could imagine what Felicity would say, but when the professor opened up his mouth to ask him about his childhood in between coughs, he disregarded her voice in his head and lies piled up.

Weeks later, he was wondering why Felicity regarded Professor Alberto as the best in his field when he was failing to see through his lies. He would recount stories different from what he had recited the week before, throw in implausible events, and the old man would still nod his head and listen, never making a remark. He would challenge himself to come up with the most blatant lies and the old man would still believe him.

Professor Alberto was the image that had conjured up in his mind when he was first asked to see a therapist by his family's doctor and it was disheartening to see that his unfounded, prejudiced, stereotyped ideas of how a psychiatrist should be was taking a physical form in the old man. Felicity had been a fresh breath of air and had taken him by surprise. Her office was warm, bright and welcoming, it smelled of fresh flowers unlike the dark furniture and the sickening smell of Alberto's office. He would find himself missing watching her expressions as he made up stories as he looked at the man's stoic face. He had grown to trust Felicity, something that would never happen with the professor.

It didn't come as a surprise when Felicity caught up. Given how frequently Professor Alberto talked about her when he actually talked and not just bought in his lies, he had been expecting for weeks for her to come to the realization.

He watched her reflection on the mirror as she entered Big Belly Burger, fuming. He couldn't help but crack a smile as her reaction softened upon seeing Diggle. Without looking at her, he scooted in the seat so that she could sit next to him. She wasn't looking at him when she sat down and started talking to John. He took in her bright lipstick and her hair in its usual ponytail. It was a change from how she looked that night in her house three weeks ago, the last time he saw her in person. Ever since that night, they would have phone talks almost every day, spanning from minutes to an hour, just to check up on one another.

He listened intently the easy conversation between Felicity and Diggle. He wasn't apparently the only one who had picked up the vibe between Diggle and his sister-in-law Carly when he heard Felicity commenting on Carly having the hots for Diggle. He couldn't help but snort.

The relationship he had now with Felicity resembled what he knew to be a friendship. It wasn't like what it was Tommy or Laurel. It was different than what he had with Diggle though it had similar roots. He wouldn't call Diggle at two in the morning just to ask how his day was. Diggle wouldn't call him to tell him what he ate for lunch after having spent his hour with a particularly difficult patient. Listening to her talk about mundane things about her day would give him solace after spending a night as The Hood. He had failed to take notice of how they had progressed, but Felicity Smoak was now a part of his daily life even though he didn't get to see her every day.

When he did see her, he realized, he enjoyed her company, enjoyed being around him. She was wearing an outfit similar to what she would wear to their sessions. They had stopped their sessions almost a month ago so it was the first time he had seen her dressed up, in heels. He knew that she didn't have appointments on Monday so her choice of clothing was a little out of the ordinary for lunch at a burger joint, but he didn't say a thing. He did comment on her vulgarity though. The way she reacted to his words made him smile. He suggested her to order chili cheese fries, his favorite food at Big Belly Burger though he didn't always go for them.

When the two of them were left alone, he took the opportunity to examine her. They had met in public before, yes, and he had seen her outside of their sessions, yes, but the whole thing about being out in a burger joint, teasing each other like good old friends, it was a sensation he hadn't felt in a long time. It reminded of him of simpler times. He couldn't remember of simpler times, not at least after the Queen's Gambit sunk.

"So is this how you plan your vigilante activities? Over burgers and shakes?" she asked him, leaning on her elbow on the table, looking over at him with a smirk. "I thought your lair fitted more to the occasion."

The smirk on her face was a nice touch, he couldn't help but smile himself. "Vigilantes get hungry, too." he answered teasingly. He had been on edge for the last few weeks with the new criminal on the streets known as Dodger who went around stealing priceless jewelry and threatening lives of innocent people by his homemade bombs. He had been harsh on Diggle, feeling helpless and trying to take it out on him. Given his earlier phone talk, he realized he had been harsh on Felicity, too, trying to ignore her concern for him. It was now a foreign concept for him, having people concerned about his well-being both physically and mentally. He had learned through trial and error that it was a world where everyone was alone and had to keep themselves out from the line of fire. First with Diggle and now with Felicity, he felt that there were now people in his life, people he had met after Lian Yu, who cared for him and who he could trust. He felt like he owned an apology. "I'm sorry if I was harsh to you on the phone. This new thief stealing expensive jewelry all around town has me agitated, I think I tried taking it out from you."

The smirk on her face disappeared momentarily, replaced by her default emotion of concern. "I wasn't very courteous myself, just going head on with blaming you. I'm sorry, too." she sighed. "I just want the best for you, Oliver. Professor Alberto is good. Though he apparently isn't as good as I thought since he is failing to see through your very blatant lies."

He thought about Professor Alberto and how he wished it was Felicity sitting in front of him and not Alberto during their sessions. He thought about how she had been immediately able to pick up on his lies, even realizing the fact that he was recapping the few episodes he had seen of Lost. He thought about how excited her secretary would be to see him unlike Mr. Carter who was just vary of his every move in the professor's house that moonlighted as his office. He realized that his first assumption about Professor Alberto would always be valid, that it wouldn't work between them, that he would never be able to trust him like he had learned to do with Felicity. That he would never be her. So he told her.

He couldn't read the expression on her face. It was akin to surprise with a mix of accepting. He would never be sure. Then Diggle was back and the moment was gone.

A few days later, Diggle was gone from the lair, not wanting to talk to him anymore. The high ceilings of the lair were crushing Oliver as he sat before his computer, looking into Dodger, and coming up empty, unable to do a thing about the reappearance of Deadshot in his city and unable to making it up to Diggle.

"He has every right to be angry with you, you know that right?" Felicity told him on the phone. It was almost midnight. "I know you have your priorities as the vigilante, but this is your partner we are talking about. The man who murdered his brother, widowed his sister-in-law with whom he might be secretly in love with, though it's neither here nor there, is back in town and you are going after another guy. You told me that you were on edge with this other thief, why are you letting him get under your skin and affect your one good relationship? Help Diggle out and go after that sniper guy. I don't mean go kill him or anything, but just find information about him and give it to Diggle."

He knew she was right, he was just too stubborn to admit it. Diggle had had his back, had helped him take down many criminals without asking anything in return. Diggle had his own vendetta, not unlike his own with those who had brought his city to its knees, and he had let him down. "It's not that simple." Oliver found himself telling.

"Oliver, if you were given the chance to do one thing that would right every wrong thing, would you take it?"

Her question, despite coming off easy, had a lot of weight to it. If he had the chance, he would go back in time, avoid Sara, never get on that boat and try to patch things with Laurel. Or he would stay away from Laurel completely. Or he would go back and stop his father and his peers from making bad decisions that would lead to the corruption of his city. He would try to stop himself making a lot of wrong decisions. He would try to be a better man, one that didn't make as many mistakes as he had made before the island. He would try to go back in time and never uncover his hood to Tommy and Laurel.

He then realized that no matter what he did, no matter how many mistakes he tried to avoid, he would still somehow end up in the same place, all alone in a lair, or the mansion or an apartment not maybe with scars covering his body but with other consequences, with other weight on his shoulders. In another life, maybe he would have gotten a random girl pregnant and ended up being a reluctant father. Or he would have been running Queen Consolidated himself as a vicious CEO caring only about work. Or he would have drowned when the Queen's Gambit went down. Anything could have happened. He just needed to accept things as they were and move on.

"I would take it but it wouldn't change things." he replied after a pause. "I would still end up talking to you."

She was silent on the other end of the line. He could hear her breathe. "You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

"On the contrary," he started. "Talking to you is a great thing." It was true. Coming back from the island, he had lied to everyone from his previous life and had already lost two of them. He was lying to his family in order to protect them, never shedding a glimpse into his true persona. The one ally he had gained was now gone. Felicity was the only one remaining even though he had known her for the least period of time and their relationship was at first built on professionalism and lies. There she was now, on the phone with him, listening to him, giving him advice, having a real conversation with him.

"So, what are you going to do?" she asked. "Do you need me to go talk to him or would you rather I talk some sense into you?"

"I can handle Diggle myself." he answered. "I might need some convincing myself in your loud voice."

"I can definitely do that." she answered. "You are so tense, Oliver. You need to relax. Go punch a dummy or whatever work out you do that gave you those abs." she paused. "I did say that out loud, didn't I?"

He laughed despite himself. "Good night Felicity."

A/N: I'm still high on all the information we got from SDCC. Wow. I'm still trying to wrap my head around things.

I'm fulltimeprocrastinator on tumblr. Many thanks for reading in advance! Please do comment if you did read.