Sun filtered through the gap in my silver curtains. My hands clumsily rubbed at my tired eyes and I looked for my phone. My fingers fumbled around the purple leather of my couch until I found the rounded corner of it. I clicked the home button and an angrily bright white light blinded me for a few moments. I had to blink away the green spots before I could look at the screen again. With my vision restored I read a short message from my mother.
"I wasn't kidding Skylar. I've sent a team of professional movers to your apartment. They will be there at about 11:00. You are moving home immediately and you are staying at my house. you can have the whole 5th story to yourself. I've arranged for you to have an interview for Yale in two months. I'm off on business and won't be back for a week. See you then."
"K"
I replied back with a boiling anger. She steps into my life and ruins everything! I can't pursue a career I love, I can't live where I want, and most of all... I can't be with the one I love. She took Dan away from me. What she didn't know was that, along with me, Dan took my heart. And my spirit. I was hollow on the inside. She thought she knew everything about love. Just because my dad left before I was born, didn't mean all guys were like that. I wasn't even pregnant for God's sake! I was still a virgin too. I'm glad I still had that. That was the one thing I didn't want Dan to take with him when he left. It'd all seem like a huge one night stand to me if that happened. I would pay anything to have him back. This was going to be my first day without him. The first of the rest of my life. I was hoping I'd make it. Suddenly I heard a knock at the door.
"Hello?" My voice croaked as I opened the door.
"Are you Skylar Toppinggale?" A man with a crew of large men behind asked me politely.
"Yes." I said hoarsely.
"We were told you were notified we are here to move you out." He said with a bit of uncertainty.
"I was. Come on in." I said with a smile plastered on my face. They obliged and inspected the area.
"Ma'am, we were also told to give you these plane tickets. We have everything under control, you can go back to your home." they said nervously.
"Thanks." I said a bit sourly and went and changed into a pair of jeggings, my favorite pair of Vans, and a layered flannel shirt. I grabbed my purse, phone, and the plane tickets and started off, after thanking the movers. I hailed a taxi and hopped inside. I only lived 15 minutes from the airport so the ride wasn't unbearable. I glanced at my watch after I checked in my purse as baggage/carry on and saw that I had ten minutes before boarding time. I walked to the nearest coffee shop and bought myself a bottle of orange juice and a donut. I munched and sipped away until I heard the announcement of my plane boarding over an intercom. I jogged quickly all the way back to my gate, only to receive disapproving looks from the other passengers. I politely handed my ticket over and was lead to first class. Not bad mom, not bad. I bent over to lay my purse down and heard people walking behind me. I turned around to see a dark mess of brown hair on a tall frame. Surely it couldn't be... No. Stop is Sky. Dan is gone. He will never see you again. He will never talk to you again. He will never hold you or kiss you again. He won't tell you he loves you again. My heart became heavy as I laid down on the luxurious seat. I put on my seat belt and glanced around for a blanket. I was cold. Once I found one, I hoped my heat would stay closer to me, but a chill stayed on me. This chill wasn't from temperature though, this chill was from sadness. Tears slowly danced along my cheeks again as I realized now that this plane had taken off, it had left my dreams behind. My career as a singer, my apartment, my freedom, and my life with Dan. Suddenly a thought popped into my mind. Dan had given me something at the airport, right? I dug around in my bad until I felt a soft material. I pulled out the grey hoodie he had worn the day we met. A sob was caught in the back of my throat. I didn't notice the white envelope fall back inside of my purse.
I brought the hoodie towards my face and breathed in its scent. It felt as if Dan were right next to me, telling me to tell him about why I was sad. But he wasn't there. I was alone. One a first class flight to New York. To live with my mother. To forget about my dreams. To loose my love of Dan. I didn't know how to block out my pain this time. A flight attendant approached me, asking me if I'd like a glass of wine. I knew I was underage (It was 4 months until my 21st birthday) but I accepted, hoping the alcohol would ease my pain. The effects took time, so i drank glass after glass, hoping for some reaction. Right before I cried out in agony of the situation, everything hit my mind, and my eyes fluttered open and closed. Dan's arms were around me and he was telling me to go to sleep. I tried to fight him, but he held me down. The more I fought the more tired I got. When I could stay awake no longer I whispered 'Don't leave me, okay?' to the apparition of my mind.
I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding headache.
"We have landed. Thank you for flying with Delta."
I grabbed my purse ans stood up quickly. Much too quickly. "Owwww," I moaned and my stomach did somersaults. My throat burned as I hobbled out of the plane. I glanced around with my throbbing head to find a finely dressed man holding a sign with my name on it. I walked woozily towards him and almost fell, causing me to grasp his shoulder for support. He looked pained at the wrinkles I produced on his perfectly pressed suit.
"Ma'am, I think you have the wrong driver." He said with a bit of arrogance.
"I'm Skylar. Skylar Toppinggale." I said with a drunken smile and started laughing spontaneously.
"I am so sorry for the confusion. Follow me please. Right out to the limo." The chauffeur said stiffly.
"Which one do I follow?" I said in obvious confusion because there appeared to be two apparitions of him.
"Both." He sighed angrily. I nodded and continued on towards him. We made it outside again and I oohed and ahhed at the sleek body of the limo.
"I have ridden in one of these babies in a loooooooooooong time." I slurred happily. I climbed inside and curled up in the back corner. The drive was going smoothly until my stomach decided to dance around. "Sir, where is the garabge can-" I was interrupted by the mouthful of vomit. My eyes stung and my head ached. "Sorry." I whispered, hoping he didn't notice the surprise I left him. I looked out the tinted windows to see the huge mansion looming into my vision. It was a beautiful house, five stories tall, sleek marble floors, great arching ceilings, beautiful brickwork, and apt attention to detail. I stumbled inside the unlocked realm and walked through the familiar foyer. I clicked the button next to the gold plated doors of the elevator. I stepped on the tile floors and pressed the number 5 button. I wasn't sure what to expect, but definitely not this. It was huge. It had a large piano, and a room filled with recording equipment. A luxurious looking teal colored bed and chocolate brown walls. It had its own kitchen and all of the area kept the scheme of white, brown, teal, green, and blue. The tiles were a pristine white and the couches surrounding a enormous media center varied from green to blue. A large golden chandelier hung over it all. A large walk in closet was to my left and to my right was the bathroom. The bathroom was almost as large as the room itself. It had a large bathtub with ceiling faucets and fancy soaps from around the world. The shower was tiled gracefully and had a variety of showerheads. A sauna was next to the towel closet and a large pair of double sinks were on either side. The toilet was in its own private room! I noticed another door, which led to a pair of stairs. I climbed up them only to find myself on the rooftop, next to a pool and a hot tub. I returned to my room and glanced in the closet to find it stock full of designer labels that hadn't even released some of these items. So you may be thinking I was happy. But you would be wrong. Everything here felt wrong. Like I was staying at a hotel, not my home. This house was my prison, keeping me away from Dan. So I went and sat on the expensive brown chair and cried. This wasn't the alcohol making my head spin. It was the fact that everything was over and done with. Being at this house meant I had left my home in Orlando. I once again cried myself to sleep.
This time when I woke up, my headache had lessened but my throat was as dry as ever. I walked towards the fridge as the cold tiles sent goosebumps up my legs. I grabbed myself a juicebox and tried to hold it down. My appetite was completely gone. I didn't want to be here. My body had shut down. All of my emotional anguish was going to cause me physical illness it seemed. I took a shower and cried once again. That seemed the only function my body would let me do. After my shower, I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and Dan's hoodie. I cried a bit more. I was constantly in pain, not having him next to me. I wanted to feel his touch just one more time. To hear my name come off his lips, seemed like it would be enough. But it never would be. I wondered if Dan was as bad off as I was. Was he not eating too? Was his face permanently tear-stained and the bags under his eyes black? Did he miss me?
I took a risk to make myself feel better, and opened my laptop. I typed up 'Youtube' into the Google search bar, only to find the site was blocked from this house. I tried 'YouNow' next. The same thing popped up. Hatred for my mother burned bright in my eyes. She took away everything that mattered to me. Everything! I used my laptop for a boring function, typing up songs. I began to type a song titled 'Just Another Day'. I sat there for hours on end, awake creating melodies and meaningful lyrics. Music was the only thing I had left. The one thing my mother couldn't take away from me.
After another day of grieving and grey living, someone arrived on my floor.
"Hello." My mother said stiffly, as the doors of the elevator.
"Did you hit the wrong number, because I don't remember asking for you to be up here." I replied back.
"I wanted to say hello to my daughter. I haven't seen you in a year!" she tried to say convincingly.
"Why did you block it?" I asked, cutting out all crap.
"Block what?" She asked rather seriously.
"YOUTUBE! Mom was ruining my life not enough?" I screamed.
"I didn't want you watching that silly boy-"
"He is NOT some silly boy, mother. He is my boyfriend. and I love him." I said through gritted teeth.
"You met him for three days. Skylar, that isn't enough time to love someone." She said sternly.
"You just don't want me to be happy! All you care about is yourself! If you had given me time to be with Dan, I could have shown you how perfect we are! No wonder Dad left you, you are such a life controlling witch!" I yelled and then put a hand over my mouth. " Mom, no I-I-I I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry mom." I looked up and saw my strong mother's eyes filled to the brim with tears and hurt.
"He left me for another woman, Skylar. I was too carefree then, not controlling of even my own life. I was the only one in this household who knew what to do when he left us. I had to have a hard shell. Honey, I don't want what happened to me, to happen to you." She said as she walked towards me and awkwardly put her arm around me as i sobbed.
"Mom, I don't need time to know, Dan was for me. I was for him. You would have loved him! And his past was as broken as mine. If not more destroyed. I just don't get why you stole my life away from me. It was perfect." I said through a thick layer of tears.
"You can never take chances-" she started.
"Look what you've become! Your shell is too hard, Mom. I shouldn't even call you Mom. I should called Ms. Toppinggale. You treat me like an employee from your work force! You aren't my corporal boss. You are my mother. I wish for once you'd actually be a mother to me." I complained angrily.
"I'm sorry..." Her voice broke into ragged sobs. "I've always wanted to be the best mother and to keep you safe. I never wanted you to get hurt like I did. I always wanted to provide you with anything you wanted. But i guess the whole time, I was holding you back from having a mother and holding you back from the world. The idea of you moving To BRITIAN with some guy you just met, well, it sounds absolutely insane. I just want to keep my baby girl safe. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, actually feeling loved by my mother. Guilt filled my stomach for all of the awful things I said to her.
"You're a great Mom. And I do appreciate you. And I love you." I said and gave my mom a tighter hug.
"Really?"
"Yeah." I said with a warm smile. "So.. does this mean I can go back to Orlando?"
"No. First rule of business. A deal is a deal. You need a real career." My anger flared again. I thought she understood me.
"Can I be with Dan?" I asked quietly.
"Second rule of business. Don't let relationships get in the way of work. No. He isn't good for you Skylar. Look at you." She said.
"Leave." I said with controlled anger.
"Why?" She asked innocently.
"I thought you understood me for once! I thought we were finally bonding, but your business rules are more important than my happiness apparently!" I said quietly. "Maybe if you would meet Dan," I started.
"He doesn't know where you are, texting is blocked out of country, and YouTube is flagged. I probably won't meet him." She said sternly. My spirits dropped extremely low. I will never see Dan again, for sure.
"Even if I go to Yale, after my full degree, can I be with Dan?" I asked hopefully.
My mom stood up and straightened her blazer. "Honey, lets face it. Do you really think he'd wait eight years for the girl he met for three days?" And then she walked out of the room.
That was a whole new level of agony. The jealous rage of seeing another girl in Dan's arms. A different girl kissing his lips. It just wasn't right. I hurt, like heavy blows to the chest to think about his hand holding someone else's hand. Calling another girl by her nickname. I cried myself to sleep for the fourth night in a row while those thoughts played nightmares in my head.
************************************************** ************************************************** ****
I woke up to the low rumble of thunder. It was dreary and rainy outside. My stomach ached from lack of food. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a pack of crackers, nibbling on the salty bread and sipping water. I went right past the large box of Krispy Creme Doughnuts, for they were an apology gift from my mother. Like Doughnuts were going to make me forgive her for how awful she was to me. Fat Chance.
After I showered, I came to find a large box of clothes from my apartment. I was spared from wearing the high class fashions from my mother. Another gift I refused to accept. I kept Dan's grey hoodie on but changed into a pair of yoga pants. I lounged around, extremely bored and decided to go through my purse. I discovered a small white envelope with a message inside.
Dear Sky, These last few days I have spent with you have been the best of my life. I know it had to be fate that we met each other. You have been the only girl who I've let in. Who I have truly loved since Lana. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. Leaving you will be hard but I know we will meet again... I know now today that we will never be able to see each other again. I'm not sure what to do. Knowing that you are out there, not with me, not having you by my side absolutely kills me. I will do ANYTHING to have you again Skylar. I will walk to the ends of the earth for you. I just want you to know that I'll never give up on us. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to be able to board that plane, knowing you aren't on that seat next to me. I wish I could write more but Phil is urging me to pack. I love you Sky. Forever and Always No Matter How Far, Dan xox
************************************************** ************************************************** ***
The storm continued raging the next morning and I awoke with Dan's letter clenched in my hands. I went to the kitchen and ate a Pop Tart because my stomach was growling quite fiercely. After another shower, where my tears were hidden, I changed into my Tetris pants, put on a tanktop and slid Dan's grey hoodie back over my head. I walked towards the only thing that might help me. The piano. I collected the music I had written and the lyrics and began to play. Soon, I found my voice and began to sing the lyrics of the chorus.
Maybe this was all just a dream.
Maybe this wasn't meant to be.
Maybe this is why love can't stay.
Maybe it was just another day.
I hadn't heard the commotion from downstairs about four hours earlier. I kept singing along.
Hour and Hours may pass us by.
We can't give up, we have to try.
I beg, and I plead, and I will pray.
That you'll give me just another day."Wow. That's amazing," says a familiar voice.
I turn around quickly to see a tall figure holding a bouquet of red roses.
"My hoodie looks better on you than it did on me." The voice said again.
My world was on fire. What was going on?