Resentment

Watchpoint: Gibraltar

It was New Year's Eve. 2078 would be coming soon, and everyone was back at the base to celebrate. Amélie however, wasn't celebrating. She knew that most of the other agents weren't comfortable being around her. Instead, Amélie was in her room, looking at a picture of her and Gérard on her wedding day.

She was told she had to be strong, but there were times she would feel weak. It couldn't be helped, because there was so much baggage she lived with. It was evening time, and while the other agents of Overwatch were socializing, getting ready for a new year, she knew she couldn't be among them. Several tears hit the picture frame. It hurt, knowing that she was too weak, and so many people died because she couldn't be strong enough to withstand the torture. The first victim was the love of her life, and now there was nothing she could do to change that.

Amélie set the picture down, and lied in her bed. A miserable existence, she would be the first to admit. Having to constantly live with the guilt on her mind, and going through life as a walking corpse, feeling so cold with a slowed heartbeat that constantly felt like she was nearing a heart attack. She wondered if she should just end her life. The thought crossed her mind numerous times, but ultimately, she decided not to. It would be the easy way out, and a shame to Gérard's memory. Despite it all, there were still people who cared for her, and she wasn't going to let them down.

Any warmness she got felt especially good on her skin. That is why she had several layers of blankets on top of her. She hoped the day would go by faster if she slept it off. The others that didn't forgive her had resented her, and she doesn't blame them.

"You really don't like this, do you?" A voice that sounded like her own said. "Hmph, is this the life for you? Doing 'good deeds' for people who despise you? Why don't you just go back to Talon, and do what you love?"

"Stop…"

It had been a while, but now she's hearing it again. It's the Widowmaker side of her, speaking to her conscience. Amélie wished it would just go away.

"But you've said it yourself, or did you forget? At the time of the kill, you feel alive."

"I know what I've said, but it's different now. I'm not like that!"

Widowmaker appeared in front of her. She had the smug smile that Amélie would bare in her old days, and was dressed in the outfit she once wore. This was the worst, it was like staring at an evil reflection. Widowmaker stepped closer to her, as Amélie held tightly to the sheets in fear.

"How much longer can you delude yourself into thinking this is what you want? You know you miss the old days, and you still feel that thrill when you take a life. When you killed those Talon agents, you felt just has excited as you always were. I'm sure Talon will forgive everything you have done to them, if you pledge complete loyalty for now on."

"Stop telling me what to do! I will never go back to Talon, and never will I take another innocent life again. I would die before I do that."

Widowmaker smirked, which made Amélie even more unsettled.

"Overwatch? It was a failure long before it was blown to hell. You think clinging on to the remnants of a failure you helped put out of its misery is going to make you feel better? Adorable."

"I'm going to help Overwatch put an end to Talon's terror forever, and I'll make sure no one suffers the fate that I did. You think I'm going to return to being Talon's assassin? I never dreamt that I would do that to begin with, and I'm not doing it again."

That made Widowmaker even more amused. She crossed her arms, shaking her head with disapproval. Amélie, in the sheets, felt helpless to this other version of her that was talking her down.

"You think you can run from your past? Talon perfected you. Is being the ballet dancer wife of some decorated agent what you wanted? Something for the other agents to look at, like you're some kind of object? No. They gave you the means to live your own life. I find it funny that you seek redemption, when Talon had redeemed you. Gérard was just too weak, and you've proven to be stronger than he ever was."

"Do not speak of Gérard!"

The smile turned into a psychotic grin. Clearly Widowmaker loved getting under Amélie's skin. She felt too weak to stop what she was saying, and everything hit a chord with how it matched with what she had done in the past.

"I think that's enough." Another voice said.

Widowmaker turned to the right in shock, just as Amélie did the same. Just as she spoke of him, there he was. Gérard. He gave a nonchalant smile at Widowmaker, before snapping his fingers.

"It's not over yet!" Widowmaker yelled, as she disappeared into the air.

Amélie calmed down for a second, relieved that she didn't have to hear those horrible words for the time being. But now, this is the second time she's spoken to Gérard in a dream. At least, one that wasn't a nightmare. This wasn't something she wanted to waste.

"Gérard…"

"It's a pleasure to see you again, Amélie."

"I don't even know what to think anymore. Everything I hear… there's truth to what she is saying. I don't want to believe it, but I can't deny it either."

"I need to talk to you. Come with me."

Gérard grabbed Amélie by the hand. The next she knew, they appeared in a field of flowers again. Once more, Amélie was back to normal. She was in a beautiful blue dress, with normal skin, a normal heartbeat, and no tattoos. She looked at herself, wishing this could last.

"Oh, Gérard… I know what you've said that I have to forgive myself. But I don't think I can."

"But you should know that you didn't have a choice. I'm angry at Talon, not you."

"I know you forgive me, but I just can't forgive myself. What of the other people that have fallen by my hands? There's more than I can count. Those are innocent lives that I killed and took pleasure while doing it. Then there are their families, friends, admirers. I've ruined their lives by taking out the ones they loved, leaving an empty spot in their hearts. What is the excuse? I was following my assignment? It wasn't long ago when I would've laughed in their faces about it. I don't deserve forgiveness."

"I think you are forgetting an important detail: The first victim of Talon was you. It's important that you remember that, so you never return to the life you lived as Widowmaker."

Amélie let herself fall on the grassy field, looking up at the sky. Gérard sat with her, putting his hand on her shoulder. They smiled at each other, until Amélie looked away when the feeling of shame set in. It was painful, because she wished she could return to her old life of being a civilian. At the time, she was happily married, was a friend of Overwatch, and had her life as a ballet dancer as her dream career, with her own friends and students in the field. Then Talon got a hold of her, and everything changed. She had the life she wanted in one day, and the opposite of what she would ever be in the other.

"Everything I hear from her, it feels true." Amélie said. "I hate to admit it, but there's no way I can deny that I felt alive when I killed. I was so twisted, and I never thought I would be capable of feeling that way. It scares me."

"You can't dwell on the past. As I've said, you have to learn to forgive yourself. Never forget what happened, and always honor the lives that were lost, but embrace the life you have now, and make it the best you can possibly make it. Vow that you will never return to Widowmaker again."

"I will try my best. I would rather die than live again as Widowmaker. It pains me that I've lost seven years of my life to Talon, but I won't give them another second."

"I would certainly hope not."

"This is so strange." Amélie said. "I don't even know if this is real, if I'm really talking to you. I am an ex-ballet dancer with issues that no therapist in the world would be able to handle, except maybe you. But I'm not going fight it."

Gérard smiled at her. Amélie leaned over, and they kissed for the first time in what felt like forever. Amélie didn't want to leave, she wanted to see Gérard again, but that wasn't meant to be. She still had her duty to Overwatch to fulfill, and Talon still must be made to pay for what they have done. Just as it ended, she saw one last look at his smile. This was before she woke up from her sleep. She had been out for several hours. Amélie got up and stretched out, feeling the relief when the pressure off her back was gone. Once again, she looked at the picture of her wedding day with Gérard.

I will make you proud.

A few minutes later, the door opened. To her surprise, it was McCree.

"Well, well, well. What is this? We're having this big New Year's celebration that all Overwatch agents are invited to, and I see a conspicuous lack of a French lady there."

"McCree…"

"You can't just lay in bed all day and miss the celebration. I know you must be lonely, come on, I'll take you there and we can have some fun."

"I thought you didn't want me here? I don't blame you, but the change of heart is strange to me."

"That was before you rescued those hostages, and the kidnapped young men and women that Talon got a hold of. You've done some very good things, and I think you should be with the rest of us. There'll be time to sleep later. Get dressed first, you should wear something nice."

Amélie smiled. That felt good to hear. She nodded at him. Soon she was out the door, changed from her pajamas to a black long sleeve dress. It hid her arm and back tattoos, though she had to be careful to make sure the Talon tattoo on her leg wouldn't made visible.

She could remember McCree. There were several times where she had met him back when she was still the wife of Gérard, and he always was a gentleman. It was reassuring that he had forgiven her. Soon enough, she was there. A massive room, where the agents of Overwatch gathered together. They were having drinks, eating, watching TV, socializing, and having a good time. Amélie had to put her best effort in trying not to let the excitement get the better of her, and letting a big silly grin appear on her face. Her stomach rumbled. After that long nap, she could eat.

Amélie got some chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and cookie, and fruit punch as a drink. While alcohol was available, Amélie was careful not to let herself drink too much, after spending countless nights using the wine cellar to drown her depression at Château Guillard, and avoids it now if possible.

At a table she sat, and soon she was joined by other agents. D. Va, McCree, and Mercy sat with her.

"It's awesome, isn't it?" D. Va said. "My very first Overwatch party. I can't wait for the future."

"I'd say we've earned it." McCree said. "We've been risking our lives for the whole 'greater good' thing, it's the least we can do for ourselves."

"Yes, a time of togetherness." Mercy said. "It brings back memories of the old days."

"I feel so much better here." Amélie said. "Surrounded by people I can call friends. There was never anything like this at Talon, and I certainly didn't have any friends there."

"You mustn't dwell on the past like that, Amélie." Mercy said. "Especially when we're thinking about the future."

"Yeah, you might be right."

"And I think the future is bright." McCree said. "I hope by the end of this year that we'll finally win this damned war."

"One step at a time, McCree." D. Va said.

They laughed, feeling a sense that they're a family that had been separated for too long.

Amélie felt warm again. She couldn't even begin to describe how grateful she was to be with others, people who she considers friends. That wasn't something she had in Talon. Back then, when she wasn't killing, she was isolated and miserable. Hopefully, that will never happen again.

A few hours later, and it was 2078. Amélie took part in the countdown alongside the rest of the agents.

My New Year's Resolution? Make sure Gérard -no, everyone- didn't die in vain.