Denmark x ?: Read Before You Drink

Request by: Cone of Depression

Things you should know: I've seen only FOUR fanfics like this. The first one is called Denmark is What? by Lunar-Valkyrja, which just makes me smiled to bright (like a diamond~). The second one is Surprise! by Blood on the Sakuras. I really do you that the author continues with it, honestly, it's so fluffy with the SuDen (Or as I like to call it now SweDenmark or SweDen. Because Sweden sound's like a shipping country with Denmark...)! The third one is Unforeseen Consequences by Varmint. Fricken loved. The mix with the drama and then later on with the love... Read it, that's all I'm saying. The last one, I'm afraid it no longer exists so that made me sad. I loved it and the author did an awesome job with it. I will miss that story... but the sadder thing is that I forgot what's it was called so I'm crying from the inside. Also, make sure you let me know what ship when you review! Otherwise, I'm gonna think for hours and hours on that. Enjoy~!

We all know that our favorite Nordic boy does a lot of stupid things. Like, make a Lego cannon to protect himself from Berwald (failed). Or that one time he used Lukas's spell book and they all swap bodies for the day. Or that other time when Matthias forgot to close the bedroom door while he was reading a manga of Ludwig and Feliciano... and was jacking off. This... might've been the worse thing that the Dane has ever done in his life.

Denmark got drunk one night with a few of his friends. They were all having a great time until they got into an argument. It was about who can top off who the most. Matthias claimed that he's the king of being on top and one of his friends call bull crap on it. So next thing happened was a classic bar fight. Matthias got a cab to drive him home and the first thing he did was grab one of Lukas's spell books... but he didn't read the instructions well enough that it could lead to something.

Morning came and everyone in the house could hear the poor Dane vomiting loudly. Lukas was trying to have a nice cup of coffee after Matthias hangover from last night, but the noise was making Lukas about to throw up. Tino came over to the table and passed everyone who's at the table some bacon.

"It shouldn't be long now," Tino said as he went to get the pancakes. Emil slams his head on the table and mumbled out that it has been almost all morning. Tino brush it off as he places the fluffy disc's over to the center of the table. Which the Finnish male said that Emil needs to be nice when Matthias comes down in the kitchen. And speaking of the Dane, Matthias rubbed his head as he went to grab himself some water. No one didn't say anything as they ate. Which then Matthias went to the living room and plop on the couch... This isn't right.

Everyone heard Matthias flop down on the couch as the group looked over at Matthias sleeping form.

"Well," Tino started, "This isn't something he would do,"

"No shit," Lukas said bluntly as he walks over to the couch with his arms crossed, "Something isn't right about him,"

"Did you played with the 2ps again?" Emil asked sarcastically. Lukas turned around and had a worry expression on his face.

"... I wish I was," Lukas said seriously. Now everyone started to worry about Matthias. And what do they all do... huddle over the Dane? Matthias groan in his sleep as he felt like someone is watching over him.

"... Ya can do whatever ya need," And Lukas told Berwald to carry Matthias upstairs to his bed. While the Norwegian male is going to examine the poor Dane. Emil was tapping his fingers together as he thinks what might be wrong with Matthias. So he suggested that Matthias might have overdosed on alcohol, but Tino explained that if it was that they would've brought him over to the hospital. Plus the guy can hold his liquor pretty well. So Emil continues to think more on Matthias... Then Emil suggested that he might be really sick and hungover. But Berwald said that he didn't felt any heat rising or anything that may resemble being sick. Then Emil gave on on his thoughts.

Lukas walked downstairs with a somewhat horrified and surprised look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Tino asked. Lukas went into the kitchen and... well, he grabbed the beer bottles and started to open one. Drinking one down like it was nothing.

"Lukas?" Berwald asked as they see Lukas finished the first one and moved on to the second one.

"You won't believe me," Lukas said as he drank the second one with one gulp. Emil sigh as they know that they need an answer before they have to deal with a drunk Norwegian who would do something crazy. Need an example: How about using Tino's guns as a pissing cup?

"... Big brother," Emil started as Lukas ears caught this, "Please tell us what's wrong with the idiot Dane, before you use Tino's guns again," Lukas was shocked as he climbed over to Emil and hugged him.

"You said big brother~!" Lukas said as he nuzzles agents him. Emil pinched Lukas as he glares at him.

"What's wrong with Dane?" Emil said slowly.

"Oh, he's just pregnant," Lukas said like it was nothing.

"Lukas," Tino said, "Be for real,"

"I am," Lukas said as he slumps back on the couch and looks at the trio, "As a matter of fact, Dane used one of my spell books when he should know that when he cast it, it would lead to him if he said one wrong word~!" And then Lukas grabbed a third and cuddles with it. Yep, Lukas's drunk already. And he's mumbling about something which was kinda creepy if you listen to him closely.

"Okay," Berwald said as he presses his fingers to his templates, "Let's say Matthias is pregnant... How long will it last?"

"How~ it would~ last~?" Lukas asked drunk when he finished his third and moved on the fourth one, "Hmm... about nine days," The ones who are sobers just put out a plan. One: Try to bring baby things when Matthias isn't around or doing something that he can't see them. Two: Make sure to do everything that Matthias asked them to do. Three: Don't fricken piss Matthias off or they could meet his battle ax. And the most important one of all: Don't bring up about Matthias's having a baby due to the spell that he cast himself. They all agreed to that... But number four couldn't hold onto as long they thought.

Matthias walked downstairs as he sees everyone talking, but Lukas.

"Um, guys?" Matthias started to ask as the trio who's sober ran over to Matthias. They should've made sure that they don't ask too many questions as well. Matthias doesn't mind getting attention but this was overwhelming him. Plus he sees Lukas getting drunk

"Guys," He started and they all shut up, "Why are you guys acting like I'm going to die or just came back from the grave? And why is Lukas getting drunk by drinking the beer I just bought two days ago?"

"Oh~ Mattie~!" Lukas laughed, "It's because you're~ *Hic*," Lukas got up from the couch and grabbed the seventh bottle of beer, "How do you feel Daddy~ about having a baby~?" Matthias cocked a brow at him.

"What?"

"YOU PREGNANT~!" Lukas yelled happily as Emil, Tino, and Berwald slapped their heads. Matthias chuckled as he looks at Lukas.

"Um, last time I check, I'm a guy. And I think you had enough beer for one day," Matthias said as he took the beer away from Lukas, but the Norwegian male whined and tried to get the bottle. But mother instinct came in too soon.

"Lukas," Matthias' voice turned cold, "Listen to me or no butter cakes," Lukas cried as he pounds his fist at Matthias' chest.

"But mama~!"

"Stop it," Matthias told Lukas. The trio just watches this as Emil couldn't help but smirk at this. But Matthias eye's could see what's going on behind him.

"Is what Lukas said is true?" Matthias asked them. Berwald and Tino glared at Emil as Emil stopped.

"W-what do you mean?" Emil stutter. Big mistake. Matthias sigh as he went upstairs... and they all heard a loud scream of saying Fuck. I think it has to do with the beer or something else.

:~Day 2~:

Matthias laid on the couch as he pokes his stomach. Since Lukas is getting over his hangover from the upstairs, Matthias couldn't sleep when he heard that. So he tried to find somewhere else that can be quieter. Not that easy as Matthias finds. Slowly the Dane had fallen asleep and didn't seem to notice that Berwald came downstairs to place a blanket over him. Berwald gave a small smile as he looks down at Matthias. No wonder why he's an angel when he sleeps. But before the tall Swed could leave, a hand was grabbed by him. Looking down, he sees Matthias look up at Berwald.

"Can you sleep with me?" Matthias asked. Berwald nod and Matthias made room for Berwald to lay next to him. When Berwald got all comfortable, he pulled the blankets over them and like that they fell asleep.

Tino woke up first as he Berwald cuddling next to Matthias. Tino made a face as he then saw Berwald eye's look over at him. He mouthed off of saying that he needs help. Tino just laughed as he went into the kitchen, which Berwald started to plead for help. Maybe the Swede should think before he gets himself something likes this... because he should know when he needs to use the bathroom. Like really bad now. Emil came walking down as he sees Berwald having a pleading look. At first, he want's to laugh but seeing Berwald being in some problem like this, Emil let him be torcher.

"No, no, no!" Berwald whispered as he heard Matthias moved almost to his blader. What is he going to do?

Tino finished breakfast as Emil sat on the chair and Lukas head is sleeping on the table. Matthias came in with a happy smile on his face.

"Why are you so smiley about?" Emil asked.

"Just got a good cuddle," Matthias said as he sat down.

"SWEET BABY ODIN!" Berwald yelled as you can hear footsteps running through the stairs. Right when Berwald slammed the door, Matthias jumped and moved his hands over to his stomach. Yes, the baby hasn't moved yet but it made something inside jumped as well.

"You okay?" Tino asked as he gave Matthias some breakfast.

"Yeah, just jumpy a little," Matthias said as he rubs his stomach more. And you can literally hear Berwald moaning in relief. How long did Berwald hold his bladder? We shall never know...

:~Day 3~:

"So... you're pregnant?" Gilbert asked as he looked at his best friend.

"... Ja," Matthias said as he looks away from his friends.

"... And you tried to use Lukas's spell book to curse us to be pregnant?" Arthur asked second.

"... Ja," Mattias replied as he leans back on the couch.

"And you don't know who's the father?" Alfred asked as he sips on his pop.

"... Ja, I don't know who would be the father," Matthias said as he placed his hand on his head, "Why did I think of that?"

"Well, to be fair," Arthur said as he placed his tea on the table, "One of us did say that we're more likely to be on top... And did get kicked out from the bar,"

"Yeah," Alfred said as he rubbed his bruised nose that Arthur gave him during that night.

"But we should have thought carefully when we're drunk," Arthur finished.

"Eh, we all do stupid things here and there," Matthias said as he gave out his grin. Both Gilbert and Arthur had a worry glance as Alfred seem to see that. Matthias was confused but then both Arthur and Gilbert explain that taking care of a kind- boy or girl- it's a challenge. Gilbert had to take care of Ludwig when their dad was always gone for work and looking after Ludwig was a challenge when he was a baby. Doing things that he shouldn't do, about to touch something that Ludwig shouldn't touch, you name what babies could do. As for Arthur, he explains that he had to look over at Peter which he was probably worse than Ludwig. Peter would cry for hours if he didn't get what he wanted and would also make a mess.

Matthias gulped as he just hopes the baby can behave for at least five minutes than he was.

"But hey," Gilbert said as he gave Matthias a reassured smile, "If the baby has either had red eyes or white hair, bushy eyebrows-"

"Hey!"

"-Or bright green eyes, brownish hair or has a cowlick. We'll help you... Mostly the awesome me," Gilbert whispered the last part to Matthias.

"Thank's guys," Matthias said as he developed something smelled good... in his opinion. Alfred got the smell and closed his nose gently.

"What's that smell?" Alfred asked.

"Matthias!" Lukas yelled through the kitchen, "Your watermelon-eggplant-cherry-tuna-licorice-shake is done," Matthias smiled and went to get. As for the trio, they all wanted to throw up when Matthias got back to the living room with his "shake". Alfred tried his best not to vomit when he sees Matthias drinking the "shake".

:~Day 4~:

Matthias was just walking down the stairs until he felt something- or someone- took hold of him. All he was just doing was walking down the stairs. When Matthias got to the last step, he turns to see Tino there.

"Just want to make sure you're safe," Tino said carefully. Matthias just brushes it off as he went to grab something in the kitchen. He started to crave on danishes as he sees them in the snake drawers. Before he could bend down, Emil came flying in and picked them up for Matthias. The Danish male was about to say something, but the Icelander said that he doesn't want to bend over. Matthias nod and took a bite of his danish. Emil just sighs in relief as he lends over to the counter.

"That was close," He whispers as softly he can.

"Heard that!" Matthias yelled back. Emil dropped to the floor as he felt like he's been broken.

Later in the day, Matthias was just shopping for baby supplies and Berwald said that he'll go with him. Matthias almost refuse until he remembers that he can't carry anything heavy. Well, over 10 pounds. So the duo went... and Berwald had fricken carried everything they bought. From the crib to baby food to clothes and to some toys for the baby.

"Ya know I can help out at least," Matthias said as they walk to the car.

"Nei, I got this," Berwald said as he slowly struggles with the weight of carrying them. How did he manage to carry them all with two hands and arms? Matthias was about to say that he could at least carry the clothes, but they came to the car. Berwald just told Matthias to get in as he loads everything in the back. Matthias did a somewhat glare at Berwald and left to the front. Berwald got everything in the back and sigh.

"Ja, next time I'm bringing Tino," Berwald said as he went to the driver's side.

Another hour had passed and Matthias was doing some yoga stretches. Lukas was just walking past the family room and say Matthias doing some pose.

"Matthias?!" Lukas yelped as the Dane didn't seem to be bothered by his voice.

"What is it, Lukas?" Matthias asked as he looked over to Lukas.

"Didn't you know that stretching is bad for the baby?!" Lukas panicked.

"Um... Yeah," Matthias replied, "But this is what Tino told me what to do at least for an hour," Lukas wanted to find Tino and chew his ass off to Tino but he needs to deal with Matthias first.

"Then why are you doing it?" Lukas asked as much calmness he can.

"Because it isn't like the other the other yoga classes I've learned," Matthias replied again. Lukas cocked a brow and went over to the DVD case to see it was pregnancy yoga. Lukas just gave out a quick laugh and set it where it was.

"Silly me," Lukas said to himself as he walked out of the room. Matthias chuckled as he then moved onto the next pose.

When night came, Matthias was laying in bed alone again as he woke up feeling hungry. Getting out of bed, he heard something crashed in the kitchen. Sighing, Matthias went to put his robe on and see what's going on downstairs. Before he could leave his room, the four ran upstairs to hope that they can get away from it. But Matthias saw them and they almost crashed into the Dane.

"Matthias!" Tino said as he chuckled. Before he could come up an excuse, Matthias put his hand out as everyone wait for Matthias to say something.

"I understand your concern for me and the baby, but you guys know that I'm pregnant, not sick," Matthias explain.

"But-" Emil was about to start but Matthias glare at him as his hand was still up.

"I don't know what happened down there, nor do I want to know, you all should go to bed and rest," Matthias added.

"But-" Berwald start but was interrupted by the pregnant Dane.

"Did I stutter?" Matthias asked.

"... No," The group said as Matthias snap his fingers for everyone to get to bed now. As they did, Lukas stops to said something to Matthias. All Matthias said this, "Save it for the morning,"

"Yes, Matthias," Lukas said as he went into his room. The Dane smiled as he walked into his own room and shut the door.

"I think I got the hang of this,"

:~Day 5~:

Matthias was eating some grapes as he watches tv. Lukas and Berwald, on the other hand, were reading on the Pregnancy for Dummies guide. They were just going over the development of the baby and a few things they should look out for. The pregnant Dane was already showing as his pregnant belly was popping up each day. And Tino was trying his best not to touch it without Matthias permission. And speaking of Tino, the Finnish male thought that he could bring Emil out for food shopping because Matthias was still eating for two. And a reason to get out of the house...

"Lukas," Matthias started to ask, "Can you get me an apple fritter?" If only Lukas was more careful with his words, this would never happen.

"Shouldn't you eat something else?" Berwald glasses cracked as he heard what Lukas said. Quickly leaving the room, Lukas looked what Berwald was going off for. The Norwegian male looks over at Matthias and never did he remember seeing him so pissed off before.

"Shouldn't you be fucking with your butter right now?" Matthias said coldly. Lukas panicked as he was about to run off, but Matthias grabbed onto Lukas and squeeze his cheeks.

"I'm sorry!" Lukas said through the muffing.

"Or is this going to be one of those moments that you're going to say that I'm fat?" Matthias asked even colder.

"I said I'm sorry!" Lukas cried.

"Sorry is not going to lead you out of this, butter bitch," Matthias said.

"Berwald, help me!" Lukas yelled for his fellow Swedish friend.

"You're on your own!" Berwald yelled out. Lukas was terrified what is going to happen next. So Lukas got a punch in the nose by Matthias. When Matthias dropped him, he went off to somewhere in the house. Berwald came back with a towel and some ice to help Lukas.

"Why did I skip that chapter?" Lukas asked himself out loud. Berwald shrugged as he helped Lukas cleaning his nose.

"Start reading that when you're all cleaned up," Berwald said. Right when Berwald finished with Lukas, Matthias came running over to Lukas and gave him a hug.

"I'M SORRY LUKEY!" Matthias cried, "I'VE BEEN A MESS LATELY AND I'M JUST BEING STUPID! I'M SORRY!" Lukas slowly reaches his hand over to Matthias' shoulders and pat his back lightly.

"It's alright," Lukas said.

:~Day 6~:

Berwald looked through his drawers and cocked a brow. He could've sworn that he placed his shirt in there. Walking out of his room, he went to find Tino if he was around or Emil. He saw the trio playing a card game and Emil was winning.

"Got any fives?" Tino asked.

"Go fish," Lukas replied.

"Has anyone seen my shirt?" Berwald asked. Tino looked over at Berwald and the other two didn't seem to notices that Berwald was topless.

"Should it be in your drawers?" Emil asked.

"They're not in there anymore," Berwald said. Before any of the three could say something, the pregnant Dane walked into the room with a danish in his hand. And he was wearing one of Berwald's shirts. Particularly, the Ikea one. Berwald decided to leave it at that because the Swedish male couldn't help but find Matthias... attractive in his shirts. Matthias got the sense of Berwald looking at him and looked over to the Swedish male.

"What?" Matthias asked.

"Nothing," Berwald smile lightly and walked out of the room. Blushing like tomatoes. Matthias didn't seem to care as he continues to eat his danish. Berwald, on the other hand, had to grab a new manga from Emil's room and made sure to close the door. I think you guys might know what the shy-perverted-Swed would do.

:~Day 7~:

"Careful," Lukas said as he held Matthias close to him. The duo was just walking down on the streets because Matthias whined that everyone was keeping him in for too long in the house and needed to go out. Mood swings. After about five minutes from Mother Tino who tried to tell Matthias anything could happen, Lukas just volunteers that he should go with Matthias. The pregnant male just slides it off for a bit, but first out to the door, Lukas drag Matthais inside saying it was too cold. Matthias just glared at Lukas when he was forced to wear to another coat, a scarf, and gloves. It can get a bit cold in Copenhagen in the winter.

"Lukas, it's fine," Matthias said as he rolled his eyes slightly over to Lukas protection. Lukas mumbles something that Matthias just glared at to keep his mouth shut if he was going to rude about it. Otherwise, Lukas would have to deal with another thunder cookie to his nose. When they came up to a cafe shop, Matthias got himself a hot chocolate and some sweet treats. Lukas just got himself a coffee with extra milk and butter.

They walk back to the house as Matthias felt something moving. He brushes it off as if was the chills when they walked inside. Emil was just sitting down on the couch, watching Vikings, and sees the duo returned home.

"How was the walk?" Emil asked as he looks over to the two.

"It was quite nice," Matthias said as he took off his two coats and scarf. Lukas went to hang them, as Matthias started to remove the gloves, "Is Berwald and Tino around?"

"Naw, they left about twelve minutes ago, I think," Emil replied. Matthias nod as he felt the same movement and grunt a little. Lukas turns over to Matthias for concerned as he sees the Dane rubbing his enlarge stomach.

"Something wrong?" Lukas asked as he took hold of Matthias. Matthias had the same glare on his face and looked over at Lukas.

"I felt something moved," When Matthias announce that, both Emil and Lukas heard this and they really badly want to feel it. But Emil being too shy about it and Lukas would probably won't admit it.

"That would be the baby kicking," Lukas said with a sweet honey voice... For some reason. Matthias was surprised to hear that as he smiled.

"I started to wonder when the little guy would move," The Dane said as he went over to the chair by the couch. Emil really wants to feel it now as he couldn't help himself to feel it. Matthias caught this and smiled softly over at Emil.

"You can feel it if-" Emil just jump over and slowly placed his hands on the belly. When he did, he felt the baby kicking agents in his hands. Lukas started to steam as he sees this from his little brother. So he went over to Matthias and felt the baby moving. Matthias was sitting on the couch as he the two brothers feeling the baby.

"Guys!" Tino gave out a soft yell. They just got back from the store to buy some stuff that Berwald had forgot. He blamed Matthias for distracting him. When Tino saw Lukas and Emil around Matthias' belly, the trio was sleeping. Tino made a cute sound as he pulled out his camera to take a picture of this. This was defiant will go in the fridge.

:~Day 8~:

"You guys," Matthias said as he watches everyone started to panic.

"Is the baby coming?!"

"I'll get the bag!"

"Just remember to breathe, Matthias!"

"Just stay calm and-"

"Guys," Matthias said loudly enough for everyone to listen, "It was just a false contraction," Everyone sigh as they drop dead on the couch. Matthias growled as he went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Since he wasn't feeling for hot milk or tea, he went to have water from the sink. Matthias grabbed one of the plastic cups and went to turn on the water. Right, when he turned on the faucet, the false contraction came and the Dane accented spilled his water over his pants.

"Shit," Matthias cussed as he went to find the paper towel. But when Matthias went to grab it-

"MATTHIAS WATER BROKE!" Emil literally yelled as the Dane growled low.

"This kid is going to be the death of me," Matthias said as he glared at nothing, "I just spilled-"

"Now now," Tino said as he came up behind the Dane and took his hand, "just stay calm-"

"I just spilled water on my pants!" Matthias' voice raised up as Tino cocked a brow. Then remembering the water wasn't turned off, Tino chuckled as Matthias just went off. Saying that he'll be taking a bath. One more day... that's all it takes!

:~Day 9/Labor~:

Matthias couldn't sleep at all as he laid in bed. Though, there could be a reason on why. Matthias slowly got up as he grunts in pain. He noted it could be contractions as he went to get Lukas or Tino. He doesn't know why but hey, those two were kinda his only options! Knocking on Lukas's door, the Norwegian male opens the door as he rubs his eyes.

"What is it this time, Emil?" Lukas yawned.

"The baby is coming," Matthias said as Lukas' eyes popped up as he screams for everyone to get up right now. Matthias just lean on the wall as he felt the contractions are coming closer now. Lukas tried to help Matthias to lean over to his shoulders. The other's came out as Matthias felt something broke.

"What happened?" Tino asked as he had his jacket on.

"Um... my water broke,"

"OH SHIT!" Everyone yelled as Matthias couldn't stay standing as the baby was already coming out.

"OW, OW, OW!" Matthias screamed as Lukas just held onto Matthias.

"It's okay, we can-" Lukas was trying to talk to Matthias but the Dane cried in pain.

"I CAN FEEL THE HEAD COMING OUT!" Matthias yelled as he closed his eyes.

"FUCK!" Emil yelled as Berwald lifted up Matthias. Saying a home birth would be the only option. So Tino said that he'll be delivering the baby as everyone stay downstairs. When Matthias is screaming in pain in his room, Emil, Lukas, and Berwald called up Matthias friends to let them know that the baby is coming. Alfred said that he'll be there by ten, Gilbert by seven, and Arthur by five. Lukas was pacing as Emil was just trying his best to stay calm. Berwald was just reading just to get his mind off of the sound of Matthias screaming.

"..."

"..."

"... How can you both stay calm at a time like this?!" Lukas asked as he glares at them.

"I'm worried too!" Emil scoff, "It's more likely to be your fault if you just remember to hide the damn book so Matthias wouldn't find it!" Lukas scoff back. Berwald glares up at the two, "You both need to calm down. As far as we all know, Matthias is just doing fine," The duo sigh as they just sat down on the couch.

"STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP THIS TINO!" Matthias yelled as Tino was checking Matthias dilation.

"Easy, easy," Tino motion Matthias, "The baby is almost out. Just keep calm and push as hard as you can," Matthias groans as he yelled at the top of his lungs. He needs Gilbert or Arthur or Alfred to be here! Then Matthias heard a wail. It wasn't loud and it wasn't soft as the Dane would think. So it can't be Alfreds

"W... What's the... the gender?" Matthias asked as he catch up his breath.

"It's a boy," Tino said with a smile, "Though..."

"Does it have bussy eybrows?" Matthias aasked.

"No, but it's eyes are red like rubies,"

Eya! Prussia is the father of Dane's baby~! Review my friends~!