I do not own Harry Potter.
Ch. 12 Touch
The first thing I am aware of is a pressure on my left hand. I focus on it and realize that not only is there pressure but warmth. I want to move toward that warmth and burrow into it, the pressure on my hand changes like it is undulating across the back of my hand.
"I am so sorry about making you think I don't trust you, because I do," a voice whispers next to my ear and I focus on the words instead of my hand.
"I was a fool to not tell you sooner about Jonah, and I wish I could use a time turner to make sure I was with you when you went after that git," the voice whispers again. "I would have been there to help you, to save you, then you would have known how much I care about you." The voice keeps talking and then I here a gasp as if maybe the voice is holding back tears.
The pressure on my hand increases a bit then I feel another pressure of warmth along my left jaw line, I want to sigh.
"I need you to come back to me Hermione, I love you," the deep voice says against my ear and I realize it is Draco who is talking to me his voice is low and full of emotion, I feel something wet hit my hand I wonder if Draco is actually crying. Did he just say he loves me?
It breaks my heart to hear his breathing with a catch on every breath from the tears and I feel guilty that I am the reason he feels this way. Oh no, please don't let this all be my fault, I need to move, I need to get up, I need…Draco.
"Jonah?" I hear Harry say and the pressure abruptly disappears from my hand and I hear Draco clear his throat and sniffle, then he sighs.
"Potter, I need to tell you something," Draco says and then there is nothing but silence.
I hear Harry gasp and then I hear the door click closed as if people need to be kept out.
"What? How? Does Hermione know?" Harry asks sounding a little angry and a little confused.
"Yes, she knows, that was the argument we had, actually she sent me a Patronus telling me she couldn't do lunch because of work, and well it came to me while I was in her office as Jonah," Draco says sounding tired and dejected.
Draco must have shown Harry who he really is and I wait for what Harry says.
"Well, that explains things, but I don't understand why you didn't tell me as your boss?" Harry says phrasing the statement as a question, then he seems to think of something else. "Merlin why didn't you tell 'Mione? She is the most trustworthy person I know," Harry says sounding completely serious and a little shocked.
"I know, and I truly regret not telling her right off, but I was working on this case, and I thought that if she knew she would be in even more danger," Draco says sounding regretful. "I should have told her, I wish I had."
"Even more danger, you git, they were after me anyway why would it have mattered?" I think frustrated I can't actually speak and through the haze of my anger I hear both boys gasp and then they are on either side of me.
"'Mione, do you have any idea how you are able to make us see what you think?" Harry asks softly and I feel the same warm pressure on both my hands now, they must each be holding my hands.
I think about what Harry said and I am completely lost, what does he mean see?" "See?" They can see what I am thinking?
"Yes, love we can see, sort of like randomly a word or phrase will appear in the air, no sound just the words and we assume it is you, because it has to do with whatever we are talking about," Draco says quickly and I frown to myself.
That's odd; I wonder if maybe it is a type of magic that I haven't read about yet, oh I wish I could go to the library.
"I bet I can guess what you are thinking right now," Harry says and then he chuckles a bit. "Without a doubt you are thinking about going to the library, and I didn't even need to see anything to know that," he sounds so arrogant knowing this and I grin to myself that he is completely right.
"Is the healer coming in soon?" Draco asks and Harry doesn't make and audible answer which is frustrating.
"I can't actually see you." I think sarcastically and I hear both boys chuckle.
"Yes they should be by anytime," Harry says then I hear the door open.
"Hello Mr. Potter, ah Mr. Malfoy." a female healer says as she walks into the room. "Will you both be staying to hear what we've found?" the healer asks sounding unsure.
"Yes," both Harry and Draco say at the same time and it I were able I would have laughed.
"Okay, well we have found a couple things, first off she has a good chance of coming out of this, she has no permanent internal injuries that can't be healed, so after a week she should feel no pain," the healer says and Draco interrupts her.
"She is in pain now?" he asks sounding appalled.
"Well, we can't actually ask her, but we think she may be hurting a bit, the Dolohov curse is a nasty one, and as I read in her file, she has been hit with it before," she stops as Harry cuts in.
"Yes, she was hit with it before and she did mention it was painful. Can't you give her a potion for the pain?" Harry asks.
"Well normally yes we would, but seeing as she is unable to move at all we can't. The only thing she is able to do is breathe," the healer answers Harry. "We have used healing charms on her that will help until we are able to counter act the curse that has forced her into a semi unconsciousness," the healer continues.
"Wait, you are saying that she won't heal properly until she is awake, fully awake?" Draco says sounding a little panicked.
"Yes, and no," the healer replies as if she is talking slowly and assuredly. "She will recover faster once she fully awakes, but as of now we are working as best we can with charms."
"Okay, so what have you found out about the other curse or hex she was hit with?" Harry asks.
"Well she was hit with a curx, a curse and a hex," the healer answers. "The curse we are still working on, we haven't quite gotten the base of it right, but the hex was a simple one, sort of like a body bind hex," the healer says then takes a deep breath. "Some how, with the curse it has been effective to the point where we can't take the hex off alone, we need to find a counter curse, then we can take the hex off also."
"Do you have any idea what the curse is?" Draco asks sounding upset.
"We have a bit of an idea, and we have many people working on it, but at this point in time, no," the healer finishes.
I hear Draco curse and I wish I were able to also. "What about the way she can make her thoughts be seen?" Harry asks and there is silence, a lot of silence, which makes me angry again.
"Can't see you answer!" I think and then I hear the healer gasp.
"I was unaware she was able to do that, which mean she can hear us, this is wonderful," the healer says sounding excited and had I not been flat on my back unable to do anything I would have tried to hex her.
"Wonderful?" Draco spits the word sounding fierce echoing my thoughts perfectly. "This is very much less than wonderful, she is laying here unable to even blink, and you are excited?" I hear something that might have been a squeak and then Harry saying softly.
"Come on mate, calm down, this won't help 'Mione." Someone sighs, then I hear the healer her voice sounds small.
"I apologize, I didn't mean to make it sound like it did, but now maybe we can assess her better." I think that makes sense and I wonder if maybe I can make myself communicate more.
"Miss Granger, can you tell me if you can feel anything," the healer asks sounding closer to me and I focus on the question and try to feel all parts of my body, I'm cold but otherwise nothing.
"Cold." I think and hope that I don't need to be angry or upset to actually make them see my thoughts.
"You feel coldness on your body or you are cold?" the healer clarifies and I frown to myself.
"I can't feel anything I am cold," I answer feeling depressed and the tears come again fast.
"Oh, Hermione please don't cry," I hear Draco say close to me and then I feel warm pressure against my face.
"I feel that," I think quickly and excitedly that must mean something.
"'Mione, you feel Draco's hand on your face?" Harry asks slowly and I think, "yes."
"Do you feel anything on your hand, your right hand?" the healer asks and I focus on that and I feel nothing.
"No," I answer and then feel warm pressure on my right hand. "I feel that, its warm." I think.
"Interesting," the healer says and I wonder what exactly is interesting. "I want to try something, wait a moment," the healer says and I hear her footsteps fade away.
"Hermione, you can feel my hand on yours, can you feel anything else?" Harry asks softly and I focus on my body and maybe I feel something on my leg. "Leg." I think and Harry laughs a bit.
"You can feel both Draco and I, but not the healer," Harry says and before I can think too much about it the healer speaks up and I hear multiple sets of footfalls.
"Miss Granger, if you can tell us when you feel something, try to be as specific as you are able, and we will see if I am correct in my hypothesis," the healer says and I wait as all the warmth from Harry and Draco's touch leaves, making me feel even colder.
I lay there thinking this is dumb and not feeling anything, getting frustrated feeling cold and hungry. Then all of a sudden I feel searing warmth in my cheeks.
"My cheeks are warm, feels good," I think and I hear a soft chuckle from right in front of me and I know who it is. "Theo," I think.
"Yes, 'Mione, I am here, let me know if you feel anything else," he says softly and then I feel warmth in my left arm.
"Warmth in my left arm, I like the warmth," I think and I hear another chuckle from Theo, I wait and then I feel warmth in my right leg though not as much as in my arm, "Warmth in my right leg, though not as warm as my cheeks and left arm." I think and then I hear a gasp I wait and feel nothing else.
"Hermione, focus on your right hand, can you feel anything?" the healer asks and I do focus even though the warmth is better to focus on than the cold.
"No," I think and I then feel warmth leave my cheeks, and then I feel it on my right hand. "Yes, I feel it on my right hand, but not on my face any more."
"Interesting," the healer says softly. "You can all stop now," as she says this, I feel all the warmth leave and I want to cry out the cold feeling more oppressive than before.
"No! It's cold!" I think and then I feel my left hand warm again, "thank you." I hear a low chuckle and I think it may be Draco.
"Hermione, it seems as though you can only feel a touch from a male, we have Theo, Astoria, Harry and Draco here, and the only touches you felt, were from the men," the healer explains, and I frown to myself. "Can you feel Astoria touching your face right now?" the healer asks and I focus on my face, but feel nothing.
"No," I think and I hear a sob that I think comes from Tori. "Please, don't cry Tori," I think and then I hear a watery laugh.
"Oh 'Mione," Tori says softly and I smile a bit hearing the humour in her voice.
"This helps us with the counter curse, can you tell me anything else?" The healer asks.
I think about it, and focus on thinking what I want to say, "my chest hurts, from the Dolohov curse I think, and when the warmth of the touch fades, the cold is oppressive and painful." I think a bit more and then add, "maybe you could research old magic, and dark magic, like the ring they are using, magic we are not familiar with." I hear Harry laugh.
"You are right, I will get a couple guys working on it," he says and I think about the attack and know I need to tell Harry.
"There was a woman, with Andrew I saw her before Andrew threw a curse at Narcissa, she wasn't Bulstrode, Jonah, needs to check my notes I think an Auror is working with them," I think and hear a gasp, when Draco/Jonah handed me the paper on Jugson I remembered there was a woman working at the ministry with that name. "Jugson," I add just in case I didn't actually write it down.
"Okay, someone will be in the room with you all the time, and if you need something or think of anything just well, I guess think it at us if that is how you are doing this, and we will attempt to help you," the healer says before her footsteps fade away.
"That all helps Hermione, thanks," Harry says and I feel another pressure of warmth on my right hand, must be Harry.
"Can I give you a hug?" Theo asks sounding a bit unsure and I hear Tori laugh.
"Yes, of course," I think in answer and then I feel more warmth where Theo hugs me. "The longer the touch, the more the warmth spreads, almost my whole left arm is warm," I think after the warmth of Theo's hug fades away.
"So you can feel me?" Draco asks softly and I feel shy all of a sudden, I am less angry at him since he talked to me earlier, but there is still a bit of hurt from the lack of trust.
"Yes," I think and nobody says anything in response, it is quiet for a bit then I feel the pressure change on my hand almost as if he is drawing a circle on the back of my hand. "Are you drawing a circle on my hand?" I think in question and the motion stops, though the heat is still there."You don't have to stop, I just couldn't feel it before," I think and the motion starts up again.
"I am going to see how Lucius is if he has made any progress, and then check for anything about the curse, and then I'll be back later. Malfoy, are you going to stay?" Harry asks and I feel Draco's hand tense on mine making the circling stop for a moment.
"Yes, I think I'll stay for a bit," Draco answers and then Harry's footsteps fade away.
"'Mione, Theo and I are going to go for a bit, but we'll be back later okay?" Tori says softly and I feel warmth against my cheek for a moment.
"I felt that on my face," I say thinking it is Tori who touched my face.
"That was Theo saying goodbye for a bit," Tori says softly and then I hear them both leave listening to their steps.
After a moment of quiet, Draco asks softly close to my face, "Hermione, were you awake when I was talking to your earlier?" I can hear the apprehension in his voice, but before I answer him he continues, "I meant what I said, I am sorry, and I do care for you a lot." I am shocked he has actually said this again.
"Why didn't you trust me?" I think feeling sad about the thought.
"I'm sorry, 'Mione, I didn't even think about it being about trust really, at first I was just following orders, then I was worried you would be upset," he says softly, and I frown to myself thinking well I was upset when I found out, but mainly because I felt like he lied to me.
"I just don't quite know what to believe now. I care about you too, more than you know, but I guess I just don't know how much of it was an act," I answer thinking it through as I project it; the feeling of what I can communicate versus what I can't is familiar now.
"I will try to make it up to you, if you give me a chance," Draco says sounding unsure of my answer, and a bit fearful, I wish I could see his face.
Before I can answer or really sort out my feelings, I hear someone enter the room. "Hello Mother," Draco says sounding as though he is still close to me just turning his head.
"I heard she is communicating more," Narcissa says though it sounds more like a question.
"Hello Narcissa, how are you?" I think and hear a soft chuckle from Draco.
"Oh, Hermione, you scared me to death yesterday," Narcissa says and I can hear the tears in her voice.
Wait. "Yesterday?" I think and feel a bit of a panic, I have been laying here for 24 hours?
"Yes, it is Sunday evening," Narcissa answers and I sigh internally; I really hope someone figures out what exactly happened to me soon.
"The healer was just here, apparently Hermione can feel touch but only from men, not women," Draco says and I hear Narcissa come closer, though I assume she tries the theory I don't feel anything. "Can you feel her?" Draco asks softly and I want to sigh again.
"No. Although the warmth from my arm is spreading into my chest," I think in answer then if I could blush I probably would have at the statement.
"She said that the longer someone touches her, the warmth from that touch spreads, she also said that once the touch goes away she gets cold, painfully cold," Draco explains apparently in answer to a look Narcissa gave him.
"Has Lucius heard about this yet?" Narcissa asks sounding odd.
"No, I think father is with Flint trying to get information out of him, why?" Draco asks.
"He may know something about this curse, it sounds familiar, like one that he used," Narcissa answers sounding hard as if she is scowling.
"Well, do you think he knows the counter curse, or what we can do?" Draco asks sounding hopeful and anxious.
There is no answer and Draco's hand tenses against mine again. I wonder what just happened, and why Narcissa didn't answer. I think this over then I hear Narcissa say softly before her steps fade from the room, "don't worry son, you haven't lost her, she will come back to you."
I am a bit lost having not seen or maybe heard what was said between them before I feel wetness against my hand and then I feel something against my arm like a texture of something soft, though not quite solid. I think about what it could be and then it clicks, it is Draco's hair and the wetness must be his tears.
"Draco?" I think and he doesn't respond, "Draco, please say something," I think again then I feel him move.
"I am afraid that you won't be able to give me another chance, that I have messed up once too much and then, you will be gone before I can make it right," Draco says softly and urgently against my ear, and I feel his tears hit my face. "I have messed up so much in my life and I am afraid that this time-" he stops talking abruptly and then I hear nothing but his erratic breathing as he is obviously trying to get his emotions under control.
I stay silent not thinking anything at him, knowing that he needs a moment and then I feel warmth against my lips for a heartbeat and he whispers, "I love you, Hermione, and I don't want to loose you." I feel my heart swell and break simultaneously. I am elated that he loves me, and then I am saddened by the truth in the statement of him possibly losing me.
"Draco," I think unable to make my thoughts into words at this moment, I am happy, but at the same time, I want to be able to say the words back, not think them. He makes no noise at all, and then I feel his lips against mine once more briefly.
"I promise, I won't ever keep anything from you again, please just come back to me," he finally says and then I feel him rest his head on my arm again, I let my mind wander as the warmth of his touch spreads further.
Please review let me know what you think. I hope I have explained everything thus far enough to where it is understandable, and the next couple chapters have quite a bit more about everything. I am pushing through my writer's block, and hope to get a bunch done this weekend. Thanks for reading and sticking with me, again please review! Thanks!