Almost didn't get this done today.

They stood in silence, some crying silent tears, the others like rocks, unmoving.

They'd watched Reed's family enter the church some minutes before, but still, all they could do was stand and watch the stationary building.

April was clutching a white coat, her friend's name showing on the folded item, a stephoscope wrapped lightly around it. Her parents hadn't yet been given her personal effects. It was only right to give them something. Right that they should have the things that meant so much to their daughter.

Meredith was standing by her, watching her sister a few paces away, clinging on to Derek's mother, who had insisted on coming in his place. He had been hoping to come himself. The hospital had refused to let him.

"She'll be okay." Meredith looked away from her sister, realising that Richard had caught her watching. "She's a Grey. She's resilient. She'll be fine."

Meredith looked away. "Today's about Reed. I can't think about Lexie today. I can stop myself for one day."

She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince.

She turned back to her sister, realised her younger sibling's grip on her mother-in-law seemed to have tightened.

Meredith hadn't expected Lexie to take to Carolyn. She knew she'd met her before, but it wasn't as if she knew her well. Still, in a way it made sense. Carolyn was a mother. Lexie needed her mother but couldn't have her.

"We have to go in." They all looked as Jackson spoke. "We have to go in for her. For everyone who died."

Richard nodded, looking around at the group. Suddenly even more grateful for Callie and Arizona's agreeing to stay at the hospital, enabling him to attend the service. He had asked Sloane if he would stay too, but he had known the response he'd get before he asked. Since Lexie had come back to work Mark had barely let her out of his sight. He'd even been driving her home if Meredith was working late, waiting until she got into the house before leaving.

It was like she hadn't even noticed he was there, despite it being obvious that she had.

He stepped forward. "Come on, people. It's time to go inside."

Cristina reluctantly helped Alex inside, turning at the doors and instructing the others to follow before continuing inside.

Slowly, one by one, they all filed into the church.

April headed past the others when they stopped, moving forward to the polished coffin that held the lifeless body of her friend. The best friend she'd ever known.

She placed a hand on it, feeling the tears already pricking in her eyes. "Thankyou." She sobbed quietly. "For everything you did for me." She ran a hand along the grain. "I, um, brought some of your things, for your mom and dad. I figured you'd want them to have it." she hesitated, taking a necessary breathe. "This isn't right. You shouldn't be dead. You were so much better than me. I don't... I don't even know what to do without you." She paused. "It's like you're not even gone, sometimes. I turn to you for advice and you're not there, but somehow I manage to fool myself, just for a millesecond, that you're probably on your way."

Meredith tried to step forward when she spotted the scene, but was halted when an arm stretched out in front of her.

"Leave her." Jackson kept his voice quiet. "She needs this."

She nodded, taking a seat next to Richard as an unfamiliar woman, she assumed Reed's mother, approached April, pulling the woman into a short hug before taking the items in her hands, the sight of them making her break down in tears.

"This isn't right." He sighed. "She shouldn't be mourning her kid."

"None of those families should be mourning." Meredith answered, glancing over at her sister, who was still holding onto Carolyn, then at Cristina, who was staring at April as if watching nothing. "None of this should have happened."

Jackson nodded. "How's Chief Shepherd?"

"He's fine." Meredith responded. "His sister's with him. She said she'd help him do some memorial thing because he was angry about not being able to come today."

"Will he make the memorial service for Charlie on saturday?"

Meredith frowned, shrugging slightly. "He wants to. The hospital don't know yet. They don't want to take any risks."

"I'd fly out to the funeral if I had the money." Jackson admitted. "Right now I'm struggling to make rent though. He wouldn't want me to be homeless."

Meredith shrugged again, she'd hardly even known the guy, but she too had considered getting on a plane when she found out his parents were having his body flown to his home state for the funeral. Thoughts of Derek, Cristina and Lexie had stopped her, she couldn't just leave them right now.

"Why don't you move in to my place?"

The words were out before she had even thought about it, but she realised she meant it instantaneously. "I mean, I'm there, April, Alex and Lexie are there, soon Derek will be, Cristina's almost always there. We need eachother right now. All of us."

"Are you sure?" Meredith nodded. "Um, I'll have to think about it."

"Take your time."

He watched as she glanced back at Lexie. "She's taken it hard, hasn't she."

"He tried to shoot her." Meredith confessed, suddenly made very aware that Lexie hadn't told many people when she noticed Mark's eyes automatically widen. He'd been listening to them, most likely out of concern for her sister. She ignored him and continued the explanation. "She told me she had gone to go and get some blood or something, and he just appeared in front of her, telling her he came to kill her. Swat shot him before he could get her."

"Bastard." Jackson's curse gained the attention of the group. He lowered his voice. "No wonder she's completely freaked."

"It put things into perspective." Meredith frowned. "People were dead, still dying, and I never even considered once that one of them could be her, not until I found out who he was. I can't be a crappy sister anymore. I have to be extraordinary. Not just to her, to Molly too."

She silenced herself as April returned to the group, sitting the other side of Jackson;

"She's really gone, isn't she?"

They both frowned, only managing to nod confimation.

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