When You Wish To Be Wanted

By: Yidkirkin

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

SPOILERS

Two weeks passed in which Harry traveled so frequently that he barely had the time for a full night's sleep before he was off again, for some reason staying on the Farada continent for all of the trips as opposed to the random destinations he was used to. Farada was smaller than a lot of the others, with barely half a dozen countries making up the whole of it and with few major cities, relying on farming and agriculture for its economy. When he landed back in Privet Drive after that stint, skin tanned even darker and freckles stark on his cheeks from working in the sun wherever he landed, he returned to number four only to find Mrs. Figg in the kitchen babysitting, and Dudley upstairs in his room in tears.

Sometimes, Harry's first instinct when it came to his cousin was to avoid him at all costs and pretend right back at him that he didn't exist. It was as much out of spite as it was self preservation –if his aunt and uncle wanted them apart, pushing it to try and be around Dudley wasn't going to turn out well. That and half the time Dudley cried he was putting on a show, and the other half of the time it was over something stupid –there was no point in expending the energy to help when there usually wasn't anything to be done.

But this time Harry had gone upstairs to use the loo and heard his cousin sniffling and crying through the door, sounding like he was trying to be quiet about it but failing miserably because he'd never had to before. And Dudley had never tried to hide something like this before –so instead of his usual reaction of walking away and ignoring whatever drama was about to go down, Harry took the option presented to him for the first time since they were small kids.

"What? Wh-What'd'you want?" Dudley said as soon as Harry opened his door, scrubbing roughly at his eyes, his face red and splotchy. He sat atop his bed, back against the far wall and an old, ratty thing of a stuffed animal beside him, which he swiftly shoved under his pillow when he caught Harry looking.

"You were crying. What's wrong?" Harry asked, and he stepped inside and closed the door behind him so Mrs. Figg downstairs wouldn't accidentally overhear them.

"None of your business, go away!" Dudley was obviously trying to come across as scary or intimidating, but he was in such a sorry state that the same feeling from months ago washed over Harry again. A mix of pity and concern and the thought, 'Is this who I've been afraid of?'

"No, I don't think I shall," Harry retorted calmly, and took a seat at the very end of Dudley's bed. He caught the pillow Dudley tried to hit him in the head with, set it down in his lap and folded his hands on top. When he looked his cousin over he tried to keep a non-judgemental look on his face. "Now, tell to me what's wrong."

Dudley hesitated, eyes wide like a Sea Deer in the path of a boat, and his shoulders scrunched up around his ears. "T's not important," He mumbled.

Harry scoffed. "Of course it is. You're upset."

Dudley frowned deeply and glared at his knees. "Why d'you even care?"

"Because..." Harry took a minute to really think about it. In most of the places he landed, he inevitably saw the bad side of people; a cook that chased him off, a kid his age addicted to narcotics, or when he got taken advantage of 'cause he was a kid who needed to eat and was willing to do almost anything for it. He saw things like that in this house too, more than he ever told Takimaru, and far more than Dudley probably noticed.

But, he'd come to the conclusion that those weren't the things he would dwell on. There were horrible people in the world, and he might never forgive some of them, but if he ever let their actions make him into someone bitter or hard or cynical –then they won. Somewhere along the way, he decided he wasn't just going to spite them by living, but by living with everything they would rather force out of him. By being a good person despite their best efforts to the contrary, even if sometimes it was hard to remember why he wanted that.

"Because I choose to. There's no big reason for it. Now, c'mon Dudley," Harry waited expectantly as his cousin waffled some more and turned even redder, the flush spread to his ears. "L-Look, if you really don't wish to tell me –you don't have to. But I'd like to listen."

"...Piers and Thorton don't... want to play..." Dudley said slowly. "...They said I'm... I'm too fat n' slow to be any fun."

"Hm. It's not a nice thing to hear," Harry said, but not unkindly. With the way Dudley had acted in class lately –well, this wasn't exactly unexpected. "How long's this been going on for?"

"...little while..." Dudley mumbled. "...month 'r two..."

"And you haven't told your parents. Maybe because you know you've been just as bad," To me, was left unsaid, but by the way Dudley sniffed Harry was pretty sure he'd hit the mark. "You feel awful now, because you didn't do anything to them, I think, and no matter what you do they won't stop."

Dudley sniffled wetly and some tears escaped his eyes –this time he didn't bother with wiping them away. "I don't like it."

"It's no fun," Harry agreed, fiddling a bit with his shirt sleeve. This was the most he and Dudley had talked in ages. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry they said that stuff. It was mean."

"You shouldn't be sorry –I deserve it. I'm mean to everybody," Dudley said. "I've been mean to you prac'lly forever."

"Dudley, your Mum 'n Da are way meaner to me," Harry pointed out, scooting closer to the other boy. "And –and we're still kids. You didn't know any better. But now you do, right?" Harry waited until Dudley nodded, and then reached out and took one of his cousin's hands –if things were going to change it was now or never. Dudley looked miserable and confused, and he froze when Harry grasped his hand tightly. "Now you know it feels terrible –lots of people don't get that. Piers and Thorton prob'ly won't for a long time. But you know it. An' you won't be mean again, right?"

Dudley wiped his cheek with his free hand. "I won't... but that's not gonna stop it, is it? Nobody likes me 'n I don't have any friends, now."

"I'll be your friend!" Harry exclaimed, and just like that he decided he forgave Dudley. If his cousin apologized for bullying him, he would accept it, but for now this was the best chance he'd ever had, and the way Dudley started crying again let him know it was the right thing to say.

There were, of course, a few roadblocks to his proclamation –biggest of which was the fact that Petunia and Vernon still kept the two of them as separate as possible. From mealtimes to picking Dudley up after school to taking him out of the house on weekends, it afforded Harry little chance to make good on his word.

And then there was the fact that Harry was still disappearing back into the Human World. Soon after their heart-to-heart, Harry was walking back from Sri Guru Singh and he phased away from Wisteria Walk mid-step –he landed on a half sunken tree trunk next to an absolutely enormous water system.

He hastily stepped back onto a thick tree root that wasn't submerged, worried that if it was rotting inside it might break the longer he stood there. Amazingly, the water of the river was so clear that he could see straight down to the bottom –there were beautiful pure white fish swimming underneath him. Harry quickly figured out that this was not an ordinary forest, rather a sea of mangroves that went on for ages in every direction, three times as tall as the trees back in Surrey. Looking up, a sky clear but for the occasional bird, and far off in the distance rose a mountain range larger than anything Harry had ever seen before in his life.

To get a better view, he climbed up the tree until he found a few branches grown close together where he could sit and not worry about falling down. The mangrove forest was eerily quiet save for a loud rumbling with no discernible source –but at the least he knew that there probably weren't any human settlements nearby.

Satisfied that, for the moment, he wasn't likely to find himself on his map, Harry set up his solar panel in a small patch of light and called Takimaru.

He didn't get him on the first try, which was a little unusual –the Knight kept his phone near him ever since Brunch had gifted Harry a way to get through. But on his second attempt he was successful; Takimaru answered immediately, sounding out of breath and just a touch strained.

"Oh, Ha-kun, I'm sorry," He said, and Harry relaxed. It was hard to get over the feeling that he might bother his guardian no matter how many times Takimaru assured him of the contrary. "I was –occupied there, for a moment. I shall endeavour to answer faster next time."

"It's okay... you're not busy now?" Takimaru had never declined a call before now, but...

"No, I am –on leave, presently," Takimaru said, sounding a little put out; Harry laughed at him, thinking it must have been either Aimaru or the mysterious Match's doing. "Ah, yea, truly it is probably for the best. Sometimes I forget that work is not all there is to life," Takimaru laughed along with him. "Where have you found yourself now?"

"Mm, I'm not sure," It was hard to figure out where in the Human World he was on a good day. "There's a huuuuuge mountain over the way, some mangroves in really clear water –I'm sitting in a tree right now. Oh, and some kinda weird rumbling noise."

"That does not bring to mind any specific place... you are safe, though?"

"Yes. None of the fish or birds look dangerous... if there was a city or town close by I'd head that way, but I can't really tell," Harry swung his legs over the side of his branch and stared out at the beautiful, peaceful scenery. "I talked to Dudley the other day."

"...oh?" Takimaru sounded hesitant. "Tell me."

Harry sniffed and let out a big whoosh of air, something in his chest tight. "It went good. Really, really good," He let out a wet laugh and hiccupped a bit. "He –He said he wasn't gonna be mean to –to anyone now! And that we should be f-friends."

"That is... wonderful, Ha-kun," said Takimaru softly. "I think though, you do sound as if your heart is heavy about it."

"I'm scared," Harry confided in a rush. "What if it's just a trick? What if when I go and f-find him one day Piers and Thorton are there and they laugh at me for falling for the joke? What if he's as bad as Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon? He didn't apologize yet –I wanna –but –"

"I want him to mean it, I do! I wanna be Dudley's friend! But I'm scared that I'm wrong. What if he just –just turns back even though I've forgiven him?"

"Harry, it is no shame to be scared. You are taking upon you a risk, and so fright shall be involved, always, when you are not completely sure of people's feelings," Takimaru told him seriously, and Harry truly missed having a safe place to break down, sometimes. "But think on what your cousin said to you, how he said it, how he reacted. I do not believe your cousin would be able to fool you so easily –you are truly a smart boy, and you have seen him at his worst, time and time again. And if you think he is insincere, simply stop. You owe him nothing more than what you choose to give him. I wish you to do what is best for you, only."

"What if I stop, and he gets mad and tells his Mum 'n Da?"

"Then run away," Harry gave a scandalized gasp. "I know I've not heard tell of everything, Harry, I know this. But make no mistake, ye're my son, and if I knew where those foul people lived I would've removed ye from them months ago. Every time they come to mind I am furious that there's no way for me to keep ye safe. So, if ye ever think ye are ill done by in that house, leave. Leave and in good time ye'll be back to the Human World. Do ye understand, Harry?"

"Y-Yes," Harry said, and then, "I –I love you."

"I do love you, too, Ha-kun. Hang in there –I like not the wait, but we shall see each other again before you know it."

And of that, Harry was sure. He spent two days in the mangroves –longer than any of his trips had been in nearly six months –before he returned to Privet Drive. He ended up with a chance to see about his cousin the day after he came back, when he noticed the teacher held Dudley back one recess, and once he came outside there was a distinct 'upset' tint to his face.

"What happened?" He asked tentatively, approaching Dudley on the small hill that no one really played on when it was so hot out.

"I don't gotta-" Dudley started, but then he froze and looked ashamed. "I'm sorry," He said quietly, and then he looked around. "Ms. Bratten says my marks are real bad. She wants me to get a tutor," He said glumly. "Says I'll advance, but if it keeps on I'll be held back next year."

"What're you bad in?"

"Math, Science. I'm alright for English 'n PhysEd, Art 'n Music, too. History's so-so. But I'm last place in the first two," His face scrunched up. "An' in Computin' an' Geography I'm bottom five. She says she's worried when I start Languages next year, too."

In Harry's mind, he was really conflicted about what he was considering. Outwardly he asked, "Want to study with me? I'll not be your tutor, but I'm good in the ones you're not –except History. An' you can help me with English."

"Y-You'd do that?" Dudley asked hopefully.

"Sure... but –but you should still see a tutor, too," Harry wasn't about to take on that sort of responsibility when he still didn't know if Dudley would stick to his word. "Then you shall get twice the help, and you'll learn twice as fast! Right?"

"...yeah," Dudley looked marginally happier about the whole endeavour, so Harry counted it a victory.

And that's what they did. Harry didn't ask how Dudley convinced his parents, but once school was out for the summer Dudley started meeting a boy from the local Secondary school at the library three times a week, where they would sequester themselves at one of the corner tables to go over his weak subjects. The other four days when Dudley was free –and if Harry wasn't gone away on one of his trips –he would tell his parents that he was going to play at the park or some such, and then he and Harry would race off. Usually it was back to the library, since Dudley really did need all the help he could get, but occasionally Harry would convince him to just traipse through the surrounding suburbs with him, or they would sit in some park and do a bit of self study that didn't involve books.

Harry didn't let his guard down, per say, but every day that he and Dudley spent together with Piers and Thorton nowhere in sight, he let himself think that maybe, maybe this would all work out. Maybe his cousin really did want to be someone better, someone who wasn't mean all the time and who wouldn't turn on Harry the second he let his back show.

Maybe this would prove him right –that giving someone a chance and believing in their best wasn't the wrong decision. He truly hoped so.

Dudley certainly had ample time to go back to his old ways if he was ever so inclined. By August, Harry's stints in the Human World were as far between as they had been for the past few months, but their length was increasing, bit by bit.

From the two days he spent in the mangroves of that unknown mountain range, he next found himself on the outskirts of Cha Han Island, staying in a medical tent on the sands of Burning Hot Shrimbeach and helping to tend to ill fated Gourmet Hunters for three days. From there he landed in a place called Bar Meria for two and a half days, where the owner –a GT Robo named Meria –made him hide in the back room for his entire stay because of how dangerous and volatile most of her clientele were.

Then he landed in the Bonito Bush, grasslands made up of rock-like plants that tasted of seafood, and where he basically lived off of birds and water for four days straight. The next trip he took also lasted four days, during which he was staying in a tiny village on the back of the Islandhorse, a gigantic horse that walked the ocean so slowly that an entire land mass formed on its back.

And on it went, and yet every time he returned from his absences Dudley was still there, still acting sincere –if increasingly concerned over where it was he was going, since they hadn't had that particular conversation just yet.