Ok, I've got to write these before I forget.
shadowsphere, you dumbass, it's ciao, not c'aw, not chow, not anything
else. It's spelled ciao. You're not a fucking crow. So spell it right.
My review quota is the same, so if you want more, review. This is how it
works; I see reviews in my inbox, I do a happy little dance, trip, hit a
wall or some other supposedly inanimate object, grab some caffeine and run
off to work on the fic. I swear, that's exactly how it goes. So, more
reviews = more chapters.
Feril's description. Some people I know have pointed out I haven't given
one yet. This is not just because I'm a Dead Goldfish that forgets
everything. I have my reasons. A) Feril's description isn't important right
now, B) I want to know what you guys think she looks like so I can get a
general idea of what people expect from this kind of character and hold it
up to my version, C) I use Feril in other fics, so her looks will change to
fit those and if I ever get around to posting them I don't want to taint
them with a reused character, at least in attributes. Since she is my
manifest, she will remain somewhat the same, but still.
shadowsphere, I want you to know you're still a stupid little bugger. It's
ciao, remember that.
I'll think of more later. R&R and enjoy.
Oh yeah P.S. To all you H&M fans, know I love them too. I'm just beating the crap out of them for the story's sake, I swear. Take it up with Feril
Feril: Don't send them after me you little—!
Dead Goldfish: R&R peeps! *runs away*
*********************
Michiru had heard the comment and her half-lidded eyes discreetly examined the boy would had spoken. His hair was short except for a long ponytail in the back, in the same style as the other two, all three eyeing Haruka in surprise and recognition. Michiru spared the blonde a quick glance to see Haruka completely immersed in her music, though it seemed more forced then normal. Shrugging it off inwardly, she focused on her violin.
Chapter 12: Proposal for A Change
"You know that one?"
Seiya Lights looked back to see who'd spoken to him. It was a girl with blue hair and what Seiya guessed was a black jewel in the center of her forehead, one of the older students from the Amazon Institute. Seiya had met her a few times before.
"Hai, Fish-chan." He answered. "We used to travel together, until my brothers and I enrolled in Divine Hands. Tenoh went another way." There was something that bothered him about this girl, but he could never quite figure out what. She seemed nice enough.
"Seiya, I think Elios-sama remembers Tenoh too," Taiki noted in his brother's ear, glancing over at their headmaster, who was eyeing the blonde on stage suspiciously. He had never quite gotten over the collapse of the Main Hall, due to Tenoh's "influence".
Before they could say anymore, the last notes played and the curtains closed to thunderous applause.
"It had to be Tenoh. No one else plays like that." Yaten said over the cheers.
"Hai. Haruka-chan always played like the wind." Seiya admitted respectfully.
Behind the curtains, Haruka was wordlessly helping with the movement of the piano off stage so the play could begin. Michiru moved over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Haruka jumped and spun around, snapping out of the trance-like state she'd been in instantly.
"Oh, Michiru....." she relaxed slightly, eyeing the girl with slight apprehension, fearing she was still angry.
"Haruka, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you." Michiru blurted out, feeling sorry for the nerve-wracked blonde. "It's just—"
"It's ok Michi, I deserved it. I was stupid." Haruka interrupted quietly. She kept glancing back to the stage, as if half expecting some mythical creature to burst through the curtains and attack with flaming breath. Her brilliant green eyes danced with indecision. She seemed to want to tell Michiru something, but couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Hotaru told me about that guy. I never meant to make you worry Michiru, I swear. I wasn't thinking straight, I should have listened. Please don't be mad anymore." She seemed about to say more, but stopped, looking conflicted.
"I'm not Haruka. Just, never scare me like that again, alright?" Michiru smiled, hoping to ease the blonde's troubles. Haruka nodded and bit her lip.
Now, the reason Haruka was having so much trouble speaking her mind happened to involve the black haired boy on the other side of those drawn curtains. Seiya had remembered her, and there in lay the problem. Seiya remembered HER. Not a guy, but Haruka the girl. And he had made a point in the past of making sure everyone knew this easily muddled fact (not that Haruka helped in clarifying it).
So, sooner or later, they'd have a confrontation, and Michiru would learn her secret, or at least what Haruka thought was her secret. Perhaps, if she had known Michiru knew the true nature of her gender and didn't care, Haruka wouldn't have nearly as much trouble telling the other girl. There was also how the rest of the school would take it. Haruka had quite a fan base among the female population of the school, along with a few hero- worshippers among the males, with possibly a few hidden with the same mindset as the female population. She knew full well this could turn ugly if they found out she wasn't what she seemed.
'So much for staying here for good.' Haruka thought. The play started behind her and she and Michiru had to go prepare for the power displays.
Feril entered her field tent and scowled at the sight of the tall man standing over the map she kept pinned to a makeshift table.
"I thought I explained to you about contacting me, Drusis. What do you think you're doing here? I don't take traitors who sneak into my quarters lightly."
The man turned, revealing weak, watery blue eyes and sneering features. His dirty blonde hair, a trait of his heritage, was pulled back in a greased ponytail that had been in style back before the Demon Wars and he had a thick goatee and mustache that didn't quite hide his horse-like teeth, bared in an oily smile.
"Feril-sama, a pleasure, as always." He bowed and Feril's lip twisted in disgust. "You see, I came because rumors have reached me in my kingdom, that my dear niece somehow survived the awful tragedy that claimed my brother and his lovely wife." Feril glared at the man, seriously giving thought to removing that oily smile by immensely violent force.
"I've also heard rumors, that, through your care, she fell into 'safe' hands."
"What's it to you, Drusis?" she snapped.
"Please, please, call me Tenoh-san, it's only proper. And I only wish to see that my dear niece is handled properly, I would so like to see her."
"Fat chance. And I don't find you deserving of the name Tenoh. When you betrayed your brother and showed yourself as the scumbag you truly are, you wanted Haruka dead as well. You're not going any where near that girl, until she hunts you down for vengeance." Feril snarled.
"Me? Aren't you as much to blame for her father's murder? With out that wonderful ability you possess, that warrior could have never slain my brother or Haruka's mother." He paused over the name, so new to his mind. ".....I bet she's a lovely girl, her mother was." His eyes glinted and Feril felt sick to her stomach.
"You will not go near Haruka Tenoh, unless you want to feel my hand crush your still beating heart into nothing." She answered icily.
"Well, I have heard descriptions of her, as well as some of the other girls you've "saved". That'll tide me over for now. Until I can feel the real thing....." he leered.
"Filthily bastard!" Feril hissed and grabbed him by the throat. "I'll kill you now and be done with it!"
"I wouldn't, if I were you!" he cried, fear in his watery eyes. "If I die, so does Haruka! And I know how attached you get to your pets."
"How so?" she asked coldly, giving his neck a little squeeze. He gagged and kicked, but she didn't move.
"I—I have a mage! A –Yerqua Stone! His orders, if anything happens to me, he's ordered to kill her!" he gasped and Feril threw him to the ground, where he lay gasping, trying to return circulation to his par-pulverized neck.
"Son of a bitch!" she hissed, kicking him in the face and kneeling down to pull him up roughly by his hair, which was now tangled with dirt and straw.
**"Fenir! I have a job for you! Find Serenity and Haruka! There's something to be destroyed, old friend."** she called to her loyal wolf through her mind. ** "And a mage that needs killing. Hurry Fenir, time is of the essence."**
"Now, tell me where a piece of shit like you got a hold of a Yerqua Stone." She asked sweetly, pulling his head back to reveal his throat like a lamb about to be slaughtered.
When Drusis Tenoh left Feril's tent, hours later, it was not as he had hoped, head held high in smug triumph, having conquered the powerful woman's spirit, and in some of his more primal imaginings, a bit more. No, Drusis was carried out by healers on a stretcher, while Feril reported that she had found him, a spy, snooping around her tent and had worked information out of him. As soon as he regained the ability of speech, she was to be notified and the now prisoner was to be put under her guards personal watch. And Drusis would not regain his ability to speak intelligible sentences for a very long time. Apparently, (Feril offered no explanation) the man had been struck dumb and was absolutely mute, screaming silently and clawing at his face as they carried him away to a dank, dark pit of a cell.
Michiru sighed and shivered slightly. The power displays were to be out on the grounds, to avoid any accidents. The play would be over soon and then everyone would file out here to watch. Michiru rubbed her arms with her hands to keep warm and eyed the treeline.
The familiar shadow that was Fenir flitted among the trees, dragging what Michiru guessed was a breakfast of deer or some other large prey, the trees kept her from seeing completely. Lupi, who'd been running by her mate with their offspring, broke away and loped off towards Haruka. The blonde was just coming out of the castle to join Michiru, clad in a white and navy- blue outfit with the runes of Heavens, Earth, Energy, Force and Waves House embroidered in silver on the neckline.
Michiru was dressed in similar garments, the runes of Waves and Depths sewn into her hemline and collar. Each wore the rune for Basic House, which was the symbol for the school as well, on the back of the clothes. The outfits were sleeveless to allow free movement. Haruka eyed the wolf warily as she walked towards Michiru and Lupi fell in along side her, tongue lolling out and flecks of red around her jaws and in her fur.
Michiru was surprised. Lupi normally kept her distance, but here she was, nearly stepping on Haruka's feet, keeping as close as she could.
"Shoo! Buzz off! Go away!" Haruka hissed, waving her hands at the wolf as it were some disobedient dog. The wolf just ignored her, nearly tripping the blonde as she tried to get to Michiru. Lupi seemed determined to stay by the green-eyed Tenoh. When Haruka finally stopped by Michiru, the wolf seemed to calm down and lay besides the pair in the snow, looking quietly out into the forest.
"Crazy wolf." Haruka breathed, shaking her head. "What the hell was that about?"
The aqua-haired girl noticed an odd pitch in Haruka's voice and noticed the blonde looked a bit pale.
"Are you alright?" she asked, eyeing Haruka worriedly.
"Oh yeah. I'm fine, don't worry." Haruka flashed her a megawatt smile but it faltered slightly. And Michiru realized what was wrong. 'She's afraid of using her power again after last night,' she thought as she watched Haruka run her hand through her short blonde locks again, looking around. Her eyes were unfocused and she was biting her lip in apprehension. 'She's afraid she'll lose control.'
"It'll be fine," she assured, slipping her hand into Haruka's. "You'll be using it at half strength, you'll have no trouble at all, trust me." She would have slipped in a kiss, but at that moment, the huge doors to the Hall opened and the crowd moved out onto the frozen grounds, forcing Michiru to abandon Haruka's touch discreetly. The blonde's jaw set and Michiru could only hope she'd been heard.
A pair of huge shapes shot out off the forest, straight towards Queen Serenity, who was walking with the head teachers of the other schools. A few students shrieked in terror and the Magus Kaori Night moved to attack the two dark shapes, the wolves, Romulus and Remus as they ran to meet Serenity.
"No!" Michiru cried, causing the Magus to hesitate just long enough for the wolves to slip past her and joyfully greet Serenity, who smiled at them as they leapt around, whining and snapping like they were just pups.
"It's good to see you again as well," she said softly and the pair calmed, growling quietly in fierce joy. They stayed close to the Queen; much like Lupi had to Haruka, though they didn't come even close to tripping the graceful woman. The visitors eyed the wolves curiously and noticed Lupi lying by Haruka and Michiru.
"Are these mascots, Serenity-sama?" Kaori Night asked.
"Not really, Kaori-dono. They belong to Feril. Well, they follow her at least. She brought all of our Tower Dorm students here and recruited some of the others." Serenity explained. The Magus smiled.
"I've met Feril-sama. You're quite fortunate to have her loyalty. And she apparently has quite the eye for talented students." She said, eyeing Haruka and Michiru as they approached. "She wouldn't happen to be lurking about would she? It has been quite a while since she and I have had a chance to talk." Kaori glanced around almost hopefully.
"No, I'm afraid not. She's otherwise involved in Tern, what with the Neglund situation and everything else going on." The Queen replied, a small, sad smile on her face.
Kaori nodded and the other Tower Dormers rushed over to join Michiru and Haruka, dressed in similar uniforms. The crowd settled and the demonstration began.
# Haruka was back in the clearing, standing in the middle, looking at the ground. The earth suddenly rose in tendrils to pull her down, forever down. #
'No!' Haruka protested, shaking her head to banish these images. The other Tower Dormers were going through their attacks, hitting targets, manipulating the area around them to suit their needs and the like. Haruka was to be the last, thanks to her numerous Houses and luck of the draw.
'I have to stay focused! I can't let it get to me.' She watched the others stonily, not really seeing them.
Elios StarRaven watched Haruka Tenoh with a sour expression on his face. This was the same child who had totaled his beautiful hall in a fit of petty violence. It had to be. He'd heard his own students identify the blonde earlier.
The students from the Amazon Institute watched the displays happily, cheering and laughing at the more flashy feats, comparing their own abilities among each other to those of their hosts.
The Mugen visitors watched with disciplined diligence, calculating and examining the power of their hosts for further study later. Kaori still glanced over at Haruka from time to time, surprised at the erratic power surging in the student. She couldn't quite accept that this person was male. She was determined to learn the truth, for the chance of attracting such a powerful student to her school was immensely enticing. If she guessed correctly about the motivation for passing as a male, she was pretty sure she'd be able to attract this Tenoh to her school. After all, her own girls had to find some way to occupy themselves.
Michiru finished her Deep Submerge display and glanced over at Haruka, who hadn't moved an inch. Biting her lip, she moved off to the side so that the targets could be reset for Haruka and prayed the blonde would be ok.
Haruka glared angrily at her target. She was the last. The others had already shown what they could do, excluding Hotaru, who still stood by Setsuna. And, as the magic had pulsed through the air, the knot in her stomach pulled tighter and tighter.
# The earth closed around her, she couldn't see, couldn't breathe! Her limbs were locked in place by a force she could not fight. #
'No!' She let out an angry hiss, pushing those thoughts out of her mind. She became aware of the fact that she was shaking and her skin was pale and clammy, her palms sweaty.
She was furious that she'd let herself show so much weakness. The nails of her right hand bit into her palm as her fist began to glow gold with her energy. Haruka failed to notice, blinded in a cloud of anxiety, rage and adrenaline.
"That's quite a bit of power," the Magus breathed, her eyes flashing. The Three Lights eyed the blonde with unease, while the visitors noticed the mix of fear and uncertainty in the eyes of the Tower Dormers and the feeling began to spread.
"Serenity-sama, perhaps we should exempt Tenoh-san from the demonstration, with the events of last night. Failed immersion with any element, let alone Earth, is quite trying on the nerves." The headmistress suggested nervously, as though the abilities of her charges had just been brought to her attention.
"Immersion? At their age?" Headmaster StarRaven looked up in surprised and Kaori's eyebrows shot up, before knitting together in a fierce look of triumph. Queen Serenity didn't answer.
"Move the targets back," Queen Serenity said. "Quickly now."
"But Ma'am this is the maximum accuracy—" the boy stopped at the look she was giving him and ran to move the targets in front of Haruka back a few yards. Haruka grinned fiercely, not having heard or seen any of this. Her power was surging into her fist, pumping in her veins, her muscles burned to be released. It felt great.
'World Shaking. That's what I'm supposed to do.....' she remembered. But a sudden pull at the ends of her fingers, the sudden surge of power was more then she was used to. And she didn't particularly want to use her attack. To see the ground shatter and fissure.
'Shatter and fissure.....' she repeated in her mind, and a new clarity came blaring into her senses. She needed to bleed off some of this power, she could feel it literally burning in her veins to be free, to destroy.
A dry, cold wind blasted down like a sudden exhaling of some sky god on the school and Haruka's clothes billowed in the draft, her dirty blonde hair nearly standing on end. 'Bleed off the power.....' she smiled. 'Use the air, use the wind!' She grinned fiercely as her favored element surrounded her, swirling and rushing, responding to her summons. 'I will not be bound by Earth!' she lifted her head back and closed her eyes, feeling the courage of the wind, the pleasure of it's speed, it's freedom.
And she could see everything. Haruka had merged with the air, not something on the program for the power displays, but who cared? As the wind, she flew above everything, blew out over the forest, rushed over the grounds, building force and speed. She could feel jet streams miles away, she knew every secret of air flow, knew every whispering of the wind. And she knew how to free some of that pent up magic building inside of her body.
Haruka was back in her body as suddenly as she had "left". She opened her eyes and saw only her target. But instead of raising her right hand above her head and forming the planet shaped orb that was her attack, she opened both her hands at her sides and brought them together in a sudden and violent, ear splitting clap,
"SHATTERING FISSURE!" she called, remembering the words called to mind earlier.
A gold arc burst forth, growing and slicing through ground and air with no resistance, sending a massive blast of air back to either side of Haruka, it's brilliance nearly blinding the onlookers. Like a perfect blade, it went clean through her metal target and kept going, before slamming into the treeline and exploding. And without missing a beat, before the target had time to even begin to fall, she raised her right hand and let her first attack form.
"WORLD SHAKING!" she roared happily, overjoyed in the release of her power. The ground in front of her erupted as her attack slammed through, and her target was annihilated as if it had never been. Haruka stood with a small smile in her eyes, proudly eyeing the spot where the object had stood. She could feel the power still coursing through her, but a new feeling was in it. It would obey her. She'd proven a sort of mastery, and as if it had a mind of it's own, her power accepted this new level of control. She'd proven herself.
"Quite the display, Majesty." Kaori smirked. She was a bit windblown, but she was among the few who had managed to stay standing during Haruka's attacks. She was beyond intrigued now. She wanted Haruka Tenoh as her student, as was far from above doing just about anything to get her. She had been convinced of Haruka's true gender after her second attack, when her uniform had betrayed her, despite her precautions and tightly bound chest. But Kaori was one of the only ones to see this.
"Indeed." Queen Serenity smiled sadly, and the headmistress picked herself up off the ground. The regal Queen seemed utterly unfazed by Haruka's attack, while those around her were rising to their feet and dusting themselves off and rubbing their eyes. Most had made the mistake of looking directly at the first attack and were now regaining their sight.
Michiru shook her head and moved out towards Haruka, who was still standing, as if expecting the target to return. Lupi nudged the blonde with her nose and Michiru wondered if the wolf had been there the whole time. Haruka had moved forward for her display, but Michiru hadn't seen the she- wolf move with her.
Haruka turned around at the wolf's silent insistence and seemed to re- enter reality.
"Oh, I'm in trouble for that one, no?" she looked like a five year old who'd been caught doing something they weren't supposed to. Michiru glanced back at their ruffled headmistress and sighed sympathetically.
"This wasn't the time to try out new attacks Ruka," she chided softly when Haruka was in hearing distance. Haruka grinned sheepishly.
"Didn't quite mean too." She admitted. "It kind of just, well, happened." Michiru caught herself before her jaw dropped and merely gave the blonde a long stare. The she shook her head.
"I swear, you're too much." She murmured. Haruka's reply was cut off as the others ran over to join them.
"That was awesome Haruka-kun!" Makoto breathed. "Why didn't you use that during the practice runs?"
"Really!" Mamoru exclaimed, examining the ground her attack had traveled through and letting out a low whistle. The others surrounded her, questioning and congratulating all at once, so that Haruka couldn't get a word in edgewise. She looked over the heads of her fellow Tower Dormers and noticed Usagi had stayed back, and those bright blue eyes were locked hopefully on Queen Serenity, waiting almost desperately for a break in her mother's conversation with the visiting head sensei from each school. Haruka had never seen the girl so tentative or reserved.
Ami noticed the tall blonde's distraction and glanced over, standing on tiptoe.
"Oh." She sighed and looked down. "Usagi-chan doesn't get to see her mother all that often, and she knows better then to just but in. She really wants to make a good impression every time she sees her mother, seeing as those times are few and far between." She explained in an undertone. Haruka frowned and nodded. She did not like seeing Usagi look so solemn.
And it was obvious that Queen Serenity could feel her daughter's gaze on the back of her head, for she kept turning half way, giving small, reassuring glances of acknowledgement in her daughter's direction.
"Excuse me,"
Haruka looked down and jumped in surprise. Thetis had moved over to their little cluster, her sisters clinging to her and eyeing the group nervously. Thetis was followed by one of the older Amazon Institute students, the blue-haired one. And the young, red-headed one from Mugen had found her way over to them, eyeing the group with interest, Haruka, Michiru and Rei mostly.
"Thetis!" she exclaimed happily. She'd forgotten about the mergirl in her worried state.
"It is good to see you again Haruka. I'm glad you're well." She smiled, and stood on tiptoe to plant a kiss on Haruka's cheek. Haruka started to grin, caught the icy vibes Michiru had started to give off in the direction of the mergirl and thought better of it, giving a small, guilty smile instead.
"That was a new attack, if I'm not mistaken." Thetis noted, her eyes dancing. The girl seemed so alien out of her environment, so much smaller then Haruka remembered; though in reality she was about the same height as Michiru.
Before Haruka could respond, the clock tolled, signaling it was time for breakfast, which was to be a special feast today.
"I'll see you later." Thetis laughed, bowing slightly and rushing ahead to catch up with Queen Serenity and the others, her sisters struggling to keep up. The headmistress separated from the rest and made a beeline for Haruka, her expression saying everything.
"I guess I'll see you inside....." Haruka groaned, suspecting a major lecture. The others gave her a sympathetic look and disappeared inside, the red-haired witch looking slightly disappointed. Haruka bit her lip at the slight coolness in Michiru gaze as she passed.
Sure enough, a full blown rant was in store and it felt like eons later when the headmistress had vented completely and left Haruka rubbing her ears.
"Tenoh-san?" Haruka turned in surprise at the soft voice behind her. The blue-haired Amazon student had been hiding behind a tree and now was looking sheepishly at the blonde. The girl (Haruka frowned slightly at the thought) bowed and gave Haruka a plaintive sort of look.
"My name is Fish-Eye," she began testingly. "And..... I'd heard that you used to travel with the Three Lights, before they were accepted into Divine Hands." She bit her lip, then looked Haruka straight in the eye. "And I was wondering, I mean no offense..... but how long have you hidden your real gender?"
Haruka's brain stopped dead. She looked at the ground.
"Seiya told you then? I knew it. I knew he'd tell everyone. I knew this wouldn't work....." Haruka's hands curled into fists.
"No! Seiya-kun didn't tell me! I..... I figured it out on my own. I was wondering if you could help me....." Haruka looked up and a realization flickered in her mind. With a shrewd eye, she looked Fish-Eye up and down. And she found what had been bothering her.
"You do it too." She said, a reverent kind of surprise in her tone. 'He's like me.....'
"Hai. Only the students we brought with us from our school know. I've been like this for years." Fish-Eye hugged himself. Haruka examined the blue-haired boy critically. If she hadn't really suspected, she never could have guessed.
"I think I should be asking you for help...." The blonde breathed. "Your disguise is amazing."
"No. I was lucky. I can pass as a girl because of my build." Fish-Eye protested.
"So..... not to pry, but you like other men?" Haruka asked. Fish-Eye nodded. "And you want my help with.....?"
"How do they feel about it here? Will they shun me if they know?"
Haruka frowned and looked at the ground.
"I don't know..... I haven't been here long enough to tell. I'm sorry." Haruka looked up and saw the feminine blue-haired boy biting his lip. He had more to say.
"Do..... don't you get tired of it? Hiding, I mean." He asked softly, his voice still sending Haruka's mind back to seeing him as a girl.
"Of course I do." Haruka sighed and leaned against a tree heavily. "But it's better then it was I guess. At least here, I don't have to worry about....." she trailed off, seeing a pained look in the cross-dressing boy's eyes. Apparently they'd both felt the damage from those rude men. Haruka knew of certain lords who had a "taste" for young boys and figured that this Fish-Eye must have come across one or more at some point.
"What if you could make it real?"
The question surprised Haruka out of her thoughts.
"Real?"
"Become a man."
Haruka stared. Sure, she'd thought briefly about it, how much easier life might be for her. But never seriously. There were somethings she didn't like about her gender, but she couldn't bring herself to think that she'd actually prefer being male.
".....It..... it would make something's easier....." she admitted. But the idea bothered her immensely, though she couldn't put her finger on it. She felt as if Fish-Eye was actually suggesting something possible.
"Hai. Many things would be easier." Fish-Eye looked up, his eyes meeting Haruka's gaze. "Would you, if you had the chance? If I told you I know of a spell, a very secret and powerful magik, that could switch our genders between us?"
Haruka felt a chill run down her spine.
"You mean, so you would become a woman..... and I, a man? Like switching bodies?"
"Yes and no. We'd keep our bodies; they'd just change. Please, think about it Tenoh-san, you're the only one I've found. The only other one hiding, like me." Then the boy smiled. "Hell, isn't Haruka Tenoh ready to become a real boy?"
Haruka skipped the feast, stealing some food from the kitchen and sitting outside in the cold to think. It calmed her in a way, this familiar feeling, with the cold seeping into her bones, alone, with only a bit of bread as comfort for an empty stomach. And she needed as much of that as she could get, her mind racing with Fish-Eye's proposal.
"If I were a man....." she murmured thoughtfully frowning. It didn't seem quite right. Her mind drifted back to memories of when she was alone.....
# "Oi! What you think ya doing, eh?"
The guard's hand wrapped heavily around the too thin wrist that had been reaching for his pocket, for the papers his daily orders were written on. He lifted the dirty, half-starved child up with one hand and gave a rough backhand to that wane face with his other. The child didn't make a sound, only looked back at him with big, brilliant green eyes.
"What'cha got there?" called his partner, from the other side of the gate.
"Some runt trying to nick my papers again," the guard called back, changing his grip on the child to the tattered collar of a dirty shirt covering the small frame. "Weren't very nice of ya, stupid runt." He growled, shaking the silent child a bit and throwing them disdainfully to the ground.
"Boy-runt, er 'irl-runt?" the other guard asked, looking around. There was no one else about. The first guard scratched his beard and shrugged.
"Can't tell. Le' me look." He answered and reached down, ripping the overlarge shirt as the child darted away, but too late. The guard tripped her and held her down with his foot.
"Wee girl!" he laughed, pressing Haruka's face into the mud with his boot. Haruka stayed silent, too weary to struggle, too experienced to use up the last of her energy until it was truly needed, when it would do her some good. She just lay there, limp and unmoving, as those cruel hands reached down and pulled her up by her short hair.
'If only I were stronger.....' she thought dully as she was kicked into a wall and the harsh, mocking laughter hit her ears. #
Haruka scowled in thought. Then, it had been a man that beat her. And it had been a man that rescued her. It had been a man that had taken her place in a traveling mercenary group when they'd found their newest spear boy was a girl. They'd always told her the same thing.
"This is no place for little girls. A woman doesn't belong here. This is a man's work. You can't, you're just a girl."
Haruka bit her lip. But give up this body? It'd had its share of pain and suffering. But this was the person she was. The person her parents had surely loved, if her newly regained memories rang true. It was this body that Gwen Hale had held close during the long night in a dank prison cell, murmuring comfortingly in the blonde's ear.
"Why does there even have to be a difference?! Why can't we just be equal?" she asked vehemently of the chill air.
"Makes it more complicated, so of course there has to be."
Haruka jumped and looked up. None other then Thetis smiled down at her and took a seat by her.
"And I'll bet you've appreciated that difference before." She added with a mischievous light in her eyes. Without any warning, she rested her head on Haruka's shoulder. Haruka's reaction time was greatly impeded by surprise and she had some trouble restarting her brain.
"I guess..... but if I were really a man, I wouldn't have to hide, or keep apart from everyone. I wouldn't have so many secrets....." 'I wouldn't be so alone.' She thought and stopped. 'Is that really it? Am I lonely?' She frowned.
'I've been alone so long, I thought I was used to it..... but could I really be lonely because of my secrets?' Haruka glanced at Thetis, who had started humming softly, stroking the tall girl's arm. 'I'm surrounded by people here, more then I can ever remember. So how could I feel alone now?'
"Wouldn't it just be another secret? In the long run?"
Haruka started at Thetis' quiet question.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"It wouldn't really be you, would it? It wouldn't be the real Haruka Tenoh, and if you went through with it, and no one would ever be able to see the real you." Thetis noted softly. Haruka nodded and sighed heavily, looking up at the cold winter sky.
"Not a secret, a lie. It'd be a lie. But sometimes, it's just so much easier....."
Michiru had not been happy when she found that Haruka still hadn't come in. The headmistress had returned what felt like ages ago, followed by the visiting student with blue hair that had approached the group after the power display. Then Michiru had noticed Thetis missing. Sure, the princess had said she wasn't going to fight Michiru for Haruka, but Michiru didn't put it past her to try out of sight. She trusted Haruka, but knew that she did hold some feelings for the mergirl and couldn't help that the little voice of jealousy in her head only added to her paranoia.
Makoto and Ami were both sitting quietly while the others chatted happily about the special dishes that had been prepared for the visitors, the exotic foods that burdened the tables and tempted the bravest to be rewarded by new flavors. Both had noticed Haruka's absence and it's effect on the aqua-haired beauty across from them, but felt it was best not to interfere.
"Tired?" Ami murmured, her voice easily hidden to all but the brunette besides her in the din around them. Makoto smiled wearily and nodded.
"I don't think we'll have much time to ourselves with all the excitement going on....." Makoto answered softly, letting out a covert yawn and Ami smiled. 'Kawaii.....' she thought, leaning lightly against the taller girl. No one would question that, they were good friends. Surely, no one would notice the subtle difference in the feeling coming from the pair that suggested a deeper relationship.
Michiru bit her lip, watching the couple out of the corner of her eye. They made a good couple and Michiru wished she could reach out to them, wished she could tell them all her worries and secrets. All her thoughts about Haruka. Hell, she needed to tell someone! Anyone! Except, of course, the person in question..... 'We'll get past this. We'll get past everything and then we can be happy. Like them. Why is this so hard?' she wondered, her gaze wandering to the windows, to the cold winter sky.
The rest of the morning went smoothly enough, the visitors visiting the Halls, learning about the different sports and activities at the school. Haruka didn't show up the whole time, seemingly putting the headmistress a bit at ease. Apparently, she considered Haruka a bit of trouble-maker. Michiru pushed her worries to the back of her mind and proceeded to perform her duties that she'd been assigned. 'Haruka'll show up sooner or later.....' she told herself. 'Probably just needs time to cool off.' But she was getting slightly depressed when lunch rolled around and there was still no sign of the blonde.
As the group trudged back to the Dining Hall, Queen Serenity stayed back with Elios StarRaven, discussing curriculum and politics.
Thetis covertly moved away from the group and into the woods.
Fenir lifted his massive head, ears forwards as he sensed the mergirl approach. He notified his master of her presence with a silent jerk of his head and felt her presence fill his above average mind. She was still quite upset over the visit she'd received from Haruka's uncle.
"Greetings," Thetis murmured, entering the clearing, surprised to sense Feril already there with her wolf. The beast looked at her coolly, a simple question in those eyes. She listened quietly as Feril's voice filled her mind, explaining the day's happenings and what she was to do. Then she answered the question in the wolf's eyes.
"It went smoothly enough. She never even wondered how I knew what she was thinking about. You were right, they're not all that guarded.....yet. Do you want me to tell Serenity-sama about Lord Drusis—?" Thetis shivered at the icy, biting answer in her mind. "I'm sorry....."
Back in her quarters, half a world away, Feril smiled softly.
** "What's wrong princess? After serving a snake for so long, why are you so against helping me from time to time?" ** she asked.
** "At least under Typhon, I had the freedom of my own mind and my actions, within that space. He was not a tyrant of the soul." ** Thetis answered brokenly. ** "He did use me or anyone else as a pawn in some sick game!"**
** "Watch yourself girl." ** Feril reminded softly. ** "You would do well to remember the reason you're helping me now....." ** There was a long silence.
** "Is that really how you see it? A game?" ** Thetis was silent. ** "I'll have a man bring you the medicine before you leave the school. Don't forget your promise, love." **
Once again, Fenir shook his head and his master's presence had left. The mergirl broke down and sobbed, falling to her knees. Her mind drifted back to the letter she'd received barely two hours before. Her father was dying, poison in his blood from a rare type of stone fish that had found it's way into the castle some how. And how Feril had entered her mind only moments after she'd received this letter from the sea gull that had carried it. Offering help in exchange for the mergirl's service..... in exchange for using her body, mind and soul to keep tabs on what was happening in the Moon Kingdom.
Queen Serenity glided back towards the school, after a long and dull conversation with Elios StarRaven. It seemed she'd get no time to visit her daughter this time, let alone get some quite well deserved rest.
'Maybe I should have let Setsuna bring Usagi's gift with her. At this rate, she'll see it next year.....' The Queen looked up and saw Haruka Tenoh sitting up in a tree, looking thoughtful and oblivious to the world around her. Until those brilliant green eyes met her sad gray-blue ones.
"Hello, Serenity-sama." the blonde said respectfully, climbing down from the tree and giving a small bow. Queen Serenity nodded in return.
"Hello, Haruka-san. It is good to see you again. We missed you after your demonstration this morning." She said, a bit of laughter in her tone. Haruka smiled in spite of herself.
"I needed some time to myself." Haruka explained, and the pair started off in the direction of the school. The beautiful Queen sighed wearily, letting her regal mask fall slightly, and showing a glimmer of the weight she carried on her shoulder.
"I must admit, I am a little selfish, I do wish I had more time with my daughter, without the Court breathing down my neck and the like. But, my duty to my country comes first, like it always has. I have no time to myself. But I understand the feeling." She shook her head.
"What if you had a place to go? A place where it wouldn't attract attention to the fact Usagi's a princess? Because I know you probably want to avoid that or you would be able to talk to her during meals." Haruka asked, an idea forming in her mind. The Queen looked over curiously.
"Such as?"
"The baths. Well, the private one, Feril's, above the others." Haruka started. Serenity smiled.
"I know the one you mean, though I've only been there once myself. If you're willing to invite my daughter and I, I'd be very grateful." Then she frowned. "Though I know she spends that time with her friends....."
"They could go too, it's big enough. You'd get to meet them all, get to know them, that kind of thing. Even Mamoru could go if you all wore towels or swimsuits," Haruka thought out loud. A sudden pressure seized her heart and she swallowed, realizing what it was, but keeping her face clear of the new emotion. "I know Usagi-chan would love to have you meet her friends..... I mean, I know you have before, but....."
"Thank you Haruka-san," Serenity smiled, placing a hand on Haruka's shoulder. "Will you be joining us?" But the Queen's smile faltered at this, already knowing the answer.
".....no. I have..... homework to do." She lied. Serenity smiled sadly.
"I know they'd all love to have you there, so if you change your mind, don't hesitate to join us Haruka-chan," she said softly. "I'm sure they'd understand." Haruka nodded, not meaning it at all.
The pair entered the school and Serenity went to sit with the other guests as Haruka trudged off to the Tower Dorm table, sitting among them, feeling unbelievably alien and out of place among them.
*********
Author: Ok, I am seriously expecting at least one flame for this one. I wasn't going to even do this chapter, but I was stuck, so here it is. And the excuse I have for the quality is that I wanted to face the difficulties they have with gender head on at least once. And I'm going to tell you now, Haruka will end the story as a female, no worries. But here's where your reviews come in. TELL ME WHAT TO DO! During this whole damn thing, I had Neptune's voice stuck in my head, saying the same thing over and over "Uranus is both a girl and a guy. She has the strengths and the personalities of both genders." ( from the manga, for those who don't know. And I kinda wanted to just play with that concept. So, R&R and forgive me, because I've got 2 rather perturbed Outer Senshi and Feril to deal with. *hides* and shadowsphere, you're still a fucking dumbass. Ciao, damn you
R&R. Do it. I'm watching o.O
Oh yeah P.S. To all you H&M fans, know I love them too. I'm just beating the crap out of them for the story's sake, I swear. Take it up with Feril
Feril: Don't send them after me you little—!
Dead Goldfish: R&R peeps! *runs away*
*********************
Michiru had heard the comment and her half-lidded eyes discreetly examined the boy would had spoken. His hair was short except for a long ponytail in the back, in the same style as the other two, all three eyeing Haruka in surprise and recognition. Michiru spared the blonde a quick glance to see Haruka completely immersed in her music, though it seemed more forced then normal. Shrugging it off inwardly, she focused on her violin.
Chapter 12: Proposal for A Change
"You know that one?"
Seiya Lights looked back to see who'd spoken to him. It was a girl with blue hair and what Seiya guessed was a black jewel in the center of her forehead, one of the older students from the Amazon Institute. Seiya had met her a few times before.
"Hai, Fish-chan." He answered. "We used to travel together, until my brothers and I enrolled in Divine Hands. Tenoh went another way." There was something that bothered him about this girl, but he could never quite figure out what. She seemed nice enough.
"Seiya, I think Elios-sama remembers Tenoh too," Taiki noted in his brother's ear, glancing over at their headmaster, who was eyeing the blonde on stage suspiciously. He had never quite gotten over the collapse of the Main Hall, due to Tenoh's "influence".
Before they could say anymore, the last notes played and the curtains closed to thunderous applause.
"It had to be Tenoh. No one else plays like that." Yaten said over the cheers.
"Hai. Haruka-chan always played like the wind." Seiya admitted respectfully.
Behind the curtains, Haruka was wordlessly helping with the movement of the piano off stage so the play could begin. Michiru moved over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Haruka jumped and spun around, snapping out of the trance-like state she'd been in instantly.
"Oh, Michiru....." she relaxed slightly, eyeing the girl with slight apprehension, fearing she was still angry.
"Haruka, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you." Michiru blurted out, feeling sorry for the nerve-wracked blonde. "It's just—"
"It's ok Michi, I deserved it. I was stupid." Haruka interrupted quietly. She kept glancing back to the stage, as if half expecting some mythical creature to burst through the curtains and attack with flaming breath. Her brilliant green eyes danced with indecision. She seemed to want to tell Michiru something, but couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Hotaru told me about that guy. I never meant to make you worry Michiru, I swear. I wasn't thinking straight, I should have listened. Please don't be mad anymore." She seemed about to say more, but stopped, looking conflicted.
"I'm not Haruka. Just, never scare me like that again, alright?" Michiru smiled, hoping to ease the blonde's troubles. Haruka nodded and bit her lip.
Now, the reason Haruka was having so much trouble speaking her mind happened to involve the black haired boy on the other side of those drawn curtains. Seiya had remembered her, and there in lay the problem. Seiya remembered HER. Not a guy, but Haruka the girl. And he had made a point in the past of making sure everyone knew this easily muddled fact (not that Haruka helped in clarifying it).
So, sooner or later, they'd have a confrontation, and Michiru would learn her secret, or at least what Haruka thought was her secret. Perhaps, if she had known Michiru knew the true nature of her gender and didn't care, Haruka wouldn't have nearly as much trouble telling the other girl. There was also how the rest of the school would take it. Haruka had quite a fan base among the female population of the school, along with a few hero- worshippers among the males, with possibly a few hidden with the same mindset as the female population. She knew full well this could turn ugly if they found out she wasn't what she seemed.
'So much for staying here for good.' Haruka thought. The play started behind her and she and Michiru had to go prepare for the power displays.
Feril entered her field tent and scowled at the sight of the tall man standing over the map she kept pinned to a makeshift table.
"I thought I explained to you about contacting me, Drusis. What do you think you're doing here? I don't take traitors who sneak into my quarters lightly."
The man turned, revealing weak, watery blue eyes and sneering features. His dirty blonde hair, a trait of his heritage, was pulled back in a greased ponytail that had been in style back before the Demon Wars and he had a thick goatee and mustache that didn't quite hide his horse-like teeth, bared in an oily smile.
"Feril-sama, a pleasure, as always." He bowed and Feril's lip twisted in disgust. "You see, I came because rumors have reached me in my kingdom, that my dear niece somehow survived the awful tragedy that claimed my brother and his lovely wife." Feril glared at the man, seriously giving thought to removing that oily smile by immensely violent force.
"I've also heard rumors, that, through your care, she fell into 'safe' hands."
"What's it to you, Drusis?" she snapped.
"Please, please, call me Tenoh-san, it's only proper. And I only wish to see that my dear niece is handled properly, I would so like to see her."
"Fat chance. And I don't find you deserving of the name Tenoh. When you betrayed your brother and showed yourself as the scumbag you truly are, you wanted Haruka dead as well. You're not going any where near that girl, until she hunts you down for vengeance." Feril snarled.
"Me? Aren't you as much to blame for her father's murder? With out that wonderful ability you possess, that warrior could have never slain my brother or Haruka's mother." He paused over the name, so new to his mind. ".....I bet she's a lovely girl, her mother was." His eyes glinted and Feril felt sick to her stomach.
"You will not go near Haruka Tenoh, unless you want to feel my hand crush your still beating heart into nothing." She answered icily.
"Well, I have heard descriptions of her, as well as some of the other girls you've "saved". That'll tide me over for now. Until I can feel the real thing....." he leered.
"Filthily bastard!" Feril hissed and grabbed him by the throat. "I'll kill you now and be done with it!"
"I wouldn't, if I were you!" he cried, fear in his watery eyes. "If I die, so does Haruka! And I know how attached you get to your pets."
"How so?" she asked coldly, giving his neck a little squeeze. He gagged and kicked, but she didn't move.
"I—I have a mage! A –Yerqua Stone! His orders, if anything happens to me, he's ordered to kill her!" he gasped and Feril threw him to the ground, where he lay gasping, trying to return circulation to his par-pulverized neck.
"Son of a bitch!" she hissed, kicking him in the face and kneeling down to pull him up roughly by his hair, which was now tangled with dirt and straw.
**"Fenir! I have a job for you! Find Serenity and Haruka! There's something to be destroyed, old friend."** she called to her loyal wolf through her mind. ** "And a mage that needs killing. Hurry Fenir, time is of the essence."**
"Now, tell me where a piece of shit like you got a hold of a Yerqua Stone." She asked sweetly, pulling his head back to reveal his throat like a lamb about to be slaughtered.
When Drusis Tenoh left Feril's tent, hours later, it was not as he had hoped, head held high in smug triumph, having conquered the powerful woman's spirit, and in some of his more primal imaginings, a bit more. No, Drusis was carried out by healers on a stretcher, while Feril reported that she had found him, a spy, snooping around her tent and had worked information out of him. As soon as he regained the ability of speech, she was to be notified and the now prisoner was to be put under her guards personal watch. And Drusis would not regain his ability to speak intelligible sentences for a very long time. Apparently, (Feril offered no explanation) the man had been struck dumb and was absolutely mute, screaming silently and clawing at his face as they carried him away to a dank, dark pit of a cell.
Michiru sighed and shivered slightly. The power displays were to be out on the grounds, to avoid any accidents. The play would be over soon and then everyone would file out here to watch. Michiru rubbed her arms with her hands to keep warm and eyed the treeline.
The familiar shadow that was Fenir flitted among the trees, dragging what Michiru guessed was a breakfast of deer or some other large prey, the trees kept her from seeing completely. Lupi, who'd been running by her mate with their offspring, broke away and loped off towards Haruka. The blonde was just coming out of the castle to join Michiru, clad in a white and navy- blue outfit with the runes of Heavens, Earth, Energy, Force and Waves House embroidered in silver on the neckline.
Michiru was dressed in similar garments, the runes of Waves and Depths sewn into her hemline and collar. Each wore the rune for Basic House, which was the symbol for the school as well, on the back of the clothes. The outfits were sleeveless to allow free movement. Haruka eyed the wolf warily as she walked towards Michiru and Lupi fell in along side her, tongue lolling out and flecks of red around her jaws and in her fur.
Michiru was surprised. Lupi normally kept her distance, but here she was, nearly stepping on Haruka's feet, keeping as close as she could.
"Shoo! Buzz off! Go away!" Haruka hissed, waving her hands at the wolf as it were some disobedient dog. The wolf just ignored her, nearly tripping the blonde as she tried to get to Michiru. Lupi seemed determined to stay by the green-eyed Tenoh. When Haruka finally stopped by Michiru, the wolf seemed to calm down and lay besides the pair in the snow, looking quietly out into the forest.
"Crazy wolf." Haruka breathed, shaking her head. "What the hell was that about?"
The aqua-haired girl noticed an odd pitch in Haruka's voice and noticed the blonde looked a bit pale.
"Are you alright?" she asked, eyeing Haruka worriedly.
"Oh yeah. I'm fine, don't worry." Haruka flashed her a megawatt smile but it faltered slightly. And Michiru realized what was wrong. 'She's afraid of using her power again after last night,' she thought as she watched Haruka run her hand through her short blonde locks again, looking around. Her eyes were unfocused and she was biting her lip in apprehension. 'She's afraid she'll lose control.'
"It'll be fine," she assured, slipping her hand into Haruka's. "You'll be using it at half strength, you'll have no trouble at all, trust me." She would have slipped in a kiss, but at that moment, the huge doors to the Hall opened and the crowd moved out onto the frozen grounds, forcing Michiru to abandon Haruka's touch discreetly. The blonde's jaw set and Michiru could only hope she'd been heard.
A pair of huge shapes shot out off the forest, straight towards Queen Serenity, who was walking with the head teachers of the other schools. A few students shrieked in terror and the Magus Kaori Night moved to attack the two dark shapes, the wolves, Romulus and Remus as they ran to meet Serenity.
"No!" Michiru cried, causing the Magus to hesitate just long enough for the wolves to slip past her and joyfully greet Serenity, who smiled at them as they leapt around, whining and snapping like they were just pups.
"It's good to see you again as well," she said softly and the pair calmed, growling quietly in fierce joy. They stayed close to the Queen; much like Lupi had to Haruka, though they didn't come even close to tripping the graceful woman. The visitors eyed the wolves curiously and noticed Lupi lying by Haruka and Michiru.
"Are these mascots, Serenity-sama?" Kaori Night asked.
"Not really, Kaori-dono. They belong to Feril. Well, they follow her at least. She brought all of our Tower Dorm students here and recruited some of the others." Serenity explained. The Magus smiled.
"I've met Feril-sama. You're quite fortunate to have her loyalty. And she apparently has quite the eye for talented students." She said, eyeing Haruka and Michiru as they approached. "She wouldn't happen to be lurking about would she? It has been quite a while since she and I have had a chance to talk." Kaori glanced around almost hopefully.
"No, I'm afraid not. She's otherwise involved in Tern, what with the Neglund situation and everything else going on." The Queen replied, a small, sad smile on her face.
Kaori nodded and the other Tower Dormers rushed over to join Michiru and Haruka, dressed in similar uniforms. The crowd settled and the demonstration began.
# Haruka was back in the clearing, standing in the middle, looking at the ground. The earth suddenly rose in tendrils to pull her down, forever down. #
'No!' Haruka protested, shaking her head to banish these images. The other Tower Dormers were going through their attacks, hitting targets, manipulating the area around them to suit their needs and the like. Haruka was to be the last, thanks to her numerous Houses and luck of the draw.
'I have to stay focused! I can't let it get to me.' She watched the others stonily, not really seeing them.
Elios StarRaven watched Haruka Tenoh with a sour expression on his face. This was the same child who had totaled his beautiful hall in a fit of petty violence. It had to be. He'd heard his own students identify the blonde earlier.
The students from the Amazon Institute watched the displays happily, cheering and laughing at the more flashy feats, comparing their own abilities among each other to those of their hosts.
The Mugen visitors watched with disciplined diligence, calculating and examining the power of their hosts for further study later. Kaori still glanced over at Haruka from time to time, surprised at the erratic power surging in the student. She couldn't quite accept that this person was male. She was determined to learn the truth, for the chance of attracting such a powerful student to her school was immensely enticing. If she guessed correctly about the motivation for passing as a male, she was pretty sure she'd be able to attract this Tenoh to her school. After all, her own girls had to find some way to occupy themselves.
Michiru finished her Deep Submerge display and glanced over at Haruka, who hadn't moved an inch. Biting her lip, she moved off to the side so that the targets could be reset for Haruka and prayed the blonde would be ok.
Haruka glared angrily at her target. She was the last. The others had already shown what they could do, excluding Hotaru, who still stood by Setsuna. And, as the magic had pulsed through the air, the knot in her stomach pulled tighter and tighter.
# The earth closed around her, she couldn't see, couldn't breathe! Her limbs were locked in place by a force she could not fight. #
'No!' She let out an angry hiss, pushing those thoughts out of her mind. She became aware of the fact that she was shaking and her skin was pale and clammy, her palms sweaty.
She was furious that she'd let herself show so much weakness. The nails of her right hand bit into her palm as her fist began to glow gold with her energy. Haruka failed to notice, blinded in a cloud of anxiety, rage and adrenaline.
"That's quite a bit of power," the Magus breathed, her eyes flashing. The Three Lights eyed the blonde with unease, while the visitors noticed the mix of fear and uncertainty in the eyes of the Tower Dormers and the feeling began to spread.
"Serenity-sama, perhaps we should exempt Tenoh-san from the demonstration, with the events of last night. Failed immersion with any element, let alone Earth, is quite trying on the nerves." The headmistress suggested nervously, as though the abilities of her charges had just been brought to her attention.
"Immersion? At their age?" Headmaster StarRaven looked up in surprised and Kaori's eyebrows shot up, before knitting together in a fierce look of triumph. Queen Serenity didn't answer.
"Move the targets back," Queen Serenity said. "Quickly now."
"But Ma'am this is the maximum accuracy—" the boy stopped at the look she was giving him and ran to move the targets in front of Haruka back a few yards. Haruka grinned fiercely, not having heard or seen any of this. Her power was surging into her fist, pumping in her veins, her muscles burned to be released. It felt great.
'World Shaking. That's what I'm supposed to do.....' she remembered. But a sudden pull at the ends of her fingers, the sudden surge of power was more then she was used to. And she didn't particularly want to use her attack. To see the ground shatter and fissure.
'Shatter and fissure.....' she repeated in her mind, and a new clarity came blaring into her senses. She needed to bleed off some of this power, she could feel it literally burning in her veins to be free, to destroy.
A dry, cold wind blasted down like a sudden exhaling of some sky god on the school and Haruka's clothes billowed in the draft, her dirty blonde hair nearly standing on end. 'Bleed off the power.....' she smiled. 'Use the air, use the wind!' She grinned fiercely as her favored element surrounded her, swirling and rushing, responding to her summons. 'I will not be bound by Earth!' she lifted her head back and closed her eyes, feeling the courage of the wind, the pleasure of it's speed, it's freedom.
And she could see everything. Haruka had merged with the air, not something on the program for the power displays, but who cared? As the wind, she flew above everything, blew out over the forest, rushed over the grounds, building force and speed. She could feel jet streams miles away, she knew every secret of air flow, knew every whispering of the wind. And she knew how to free some of that pent up magic building inside of her body.
Haruka was back in her body as suddenly as she had "left". She opened her eyes and saw only her target. But instead of raising her right hand above her head and forming the planet shaped orb that was her attack, she opened both her hands at her sides and brought them together in a sudden and violent, ear splitting clap,
"SHATTERING FISSURE!" she called, remembering the words called to mind earlier.
A gold arc burst forth, growing and slicing through ground and air with no resistance, sending a massive blast of air back to either side of Haruka, it's brilliance nearly blinding the onlookers. Like a perfect blade, it went clean through her metal target and kept going, before slamming into the treeline and exploding. And without missing a beat, before the target had time to even begin to fall, she raised her right hand and let her first attack form.
"WORLD SHAKING!" she roared happily, overjoyed in the release of her power. The ground in front of her erupted as her attack slammed through, and her target was annihilated as if it had never been. Haruka stood with a small smile in her eyes, proudly eyeing the spot where the object had stood. She could feel the power still coursing through her, but a new feeling was in it. It would obey her. She'd proven a sort of mastery, and as if it had a mind of it's own, her power accepted this new level of control. She'd proven herself.
"Quite the display, Majesty." Kaori smirked. She was a bit windblown, but she was among the few who had managed to stay standing during Haruka's attacks. She was beyond intrigued now. She wanted Haruka Tenoh as her student, as was far from above doing just about anything to get her. She had been convinced of Haruka's true gender after her second attack, when her uniform had betrayed her, despite her precautions and tightly bound chest. But Kaori was one of the only ones to see this.
"Indeed." Queen Serenity smiled sadly, and the headmistress picked herself up off the ground. The regal Queen seemed utterly unfazed by Haruka's attack, while those around her were rising to their feet and dusting themselves off and rubbing their eyes. Most had made the mistake of looking directly at the first attack and were now regaining their sight.
Michiru shook her head and moved out towards Haruka, who was still standing, as if expecting the target to return. Lupi nudged the blonde with her nose and Michiru wondered if the wolf had been there the whole time. Haruka had moved forward for her display, but Michiru hadn't seen the she- wolf move with her.
Haruka turned around at the wolf's silent insistence and seemed to re- enter reality.
"Oh, I'm in trouble for that one, no?" she looked like a five year old who'd been caught doing something they weren't supposed to. Michiru glanced back at their ruffled headmistress and sighed sympathetically.
"This wasn't the time to try out new attacks Ruka," she chided softly when Haruka was in hearing distance. Haruka grinned sheepishly.
"Didn't quite mean too." She admitted. "It kind of just, well, happened." Michiru caught herself before her jaw dropped and merely gave the blonde a long stare. The she shook her head.
"I swear, you're too much." She murmured. Haruka's reply was cut off as the others ran over to join them.
"That was awesome Haruka-kun!" Makoto breathed. "Why didn't you use that during the practice runs?"
"Really!" Mamoru exclaimed, examining the ground her attack had traveled through and letting out a low whistle. The others surrounded her, questioning and congratulating all at once, so that Haruka couldn't get a word in edgewise. She looked over the heads of her fellow Tower Dormers and noticed Usagi had stayed back, and those bright blue eyes were locked hopefully on Queen Serenity, waiting almost desperately for a break in her mother's conversation with the visiting head sensei from each school. Haruka had never seen the girl so tentative or reserved.
Ami noticed the tall blonde's distraction and glanced over, standing on tiptoe.
"Oh." She sighed and looked down. "Usagi-chan doesn't get to see her mother all that often, and she knows better then to just but in. She really wants to make a good impression every time she sees her mother, seeing as those times are few and far between." She explained in an undertone. Haruka frowned and nodded. She did not like seeing Usagi look so solemn.
And it was obvious that Queen Serenity could feel her daughter's gaze on the back of her head, for she kept turning half way, giving small, reassuring glances of acknowledgement in her daughter's direction.
"Excuse me,"
Haruka looked down and jumped in surprise. Thetis had moved over to their little cluster, her sisters clinging to her and eyeing the group nervously. Thetis was followed by one of the older Amazon Institute students, the blue-haired one. And the young, red-headed one from Mugen had found her way over to them, eyeing the group with interest, Haruka, Michiru and Rei mostly.
"Thetis!" she exclaimed happily. She'd forgotten about the mergirl in her worried state.
"It is good to see you again Haruka. I'm glad you're well." She smiled, and stood on tiptoe to plant a kiss on Haruka's cheek. Haruka started to grin, caught the icy vibes Michiru had started to give off in the direction of the mergirl and thought better of it, giving a small, guilty smile instead.
"That was a new attack, if I'm not mistaken." Thetis noted, her eyes dancing. The girl seemed so alien out of her environment, so much smaller then Haruka remembered; though in reality she was about the same height as Michiru.
Before Haruka could respond, the clock tolled, signaling it was time for breakfast, which was to be a special feast today.
"I'll see you later." Thetis laughed, bowing slightly and rushing ahead to catch up with Queen Serenity and the others, her sisters struggling to keep up. The headmistress separated from the rest and made a beeline for Haruka, her expression saying everything.
"I guess I'll see you inside....." Haruka groaned, suspecting a major lecture. The others gave her a sympathetic look and disappeared inside, the red-haired witch looking slightly disappointed. Haruka bit her lip at the slight coolness in Michiru gaze as she passed.
Sure enough, a full blown rant was in store and it felt like eons later when the headmistress had vented completely and left Haruka rubbing her ears.
"Tenoh-san?" Haruka turned in surprise at the soft voice behind her. The blue-haired Amazon student had been hiding behind a tree and now was looking sheepishly at the blonde. The girl (Haruka frowned slightly at the thought) bowed and gave Haruka a plaintive sort of look.
"My name is Fish-Eye," she began testingly. "And..... I'd heard that you used to travel with the Three Lights, before they were accepted into Divine Hands." She bit her lip, then looked Haruka straight in the eye. "And I was wondering, I mean no offense..... but how long have you hidden your real gender?"
Haruka's brain stopped dead. She looked at the ground.
"Seiya told you then? I knew it. I knew he'd tell everyone. I knew this wouldn't work....." Haruka's hands curled into fists.
"No! Seiya-kun didn't tell me! I..... I figured it out on my own. I was wondering if you could help me....." Haruka looked up and a realization flickered in her mind. With a shrewd eye, she looked Fish-Eye up and down. And she found what had been bothering her.
"You do it too." She said, a reverent kind of surprise in her tone. 'He's like me.....'
"Hai. Only the students we brought with us from our school know. I've been like this for years." Fish-Eye hugged himself. Haruka examined the blue-haired boy critically. If she hadn't really suspected, she never could have guessed.
"I think I should be asking you for help...." The blonde breathed. "Your disguise is amazing."
"No. I was lucky. I can pass as a girl because of my build." Fish-Eye protested.
"So..... not to pry, but you like other men?" Haruka asked. Fish-Eye nodded. "And you want my help with.....?"
"How do they feel about it here? Will they shun me if they know?"
Haruka frowned and looked at the ground.
"I don't know..... I haven't been here long enough to tell. I'm sorry." Haruka looked up and saw the feminine blue-haired boy biting his lip. He had more to say.
"Do..... don't you get tired of it? Hiding, I mean." He asked softly, his voice still sending Haruka's mind back to seeing him as a girl.
"Of course I do." Haruka sighed and leaned against a tree heavily. "But it's better then it was I guess. At least here, I don't have to worry about....." she trailed off, seeing a pained look in the cross-dressing boy's eyes. Apparently they'd both felt the damage from those rude men. Haruka knew of certain lords who had a "taste" for young boys and figured that this Fish-Eye must have come across one or more at some point.
"What if you could make it real?"
The question surprised Haruka out of her thoughts.
"Real?"
"Become a man."
Haruka stared. Sure, she'd thought briefly about it, how much easier life might be for her. But never seriously. There were somethings she didn't like about her gender, but she couldn't bring herself to think that she'd actually prefer being male.
".....It..... it would make something's easier....." she admitted. But the idea bothered her immensely, though she couldn't put her finger on it. She felt as if Fish-Eye was actually suggesting something possible.
"Hai. Many things would be easier." Fish-Eye looked up, his eyes meeting Haruka's gaze. "Would you, if you had the chance? If I told you I know of a spell, a very secret and powerful magik, that could switch our genders between us?"
Haruka felt a chill run down her spine.
"You mean, so you would become a woman..... and I, a man? Like switching bodies?"
"Yes and no. We'd keep our bodies; they'd just change. Please, think about it Tenoh-san, you're the only one I've found. The only other one hiding, like me." Then the boy smiled. "Hell, isn't Haruka Tenoh ready to become a real boy?"
Haruka skipped the feast, stealing some food from the kitchen and sitting outside in the cold to think. It calmed her in a way, this familiar feeling, with the cold seeping into her bones, alone, with only a bit of bread as comfort for an empty stomach. And she needed as much of that as she could get, her mind racing with Fish-Eye's proposal.
"If I were a man....." she murmured thoughtfully frowning. It didn't seem quite right. Her mind drifted back to memories of when she was alone.....
# "Oi! What you think ya doing, eh?"
The guard's hand wrapped heavily around the too thin wrist that had been reaching for his pocket, for the papers his daily orders were written on. He lifted the dirty, half-starved child up with one hand and gave a rough backhand to that wane face with his other. The child didn't make a sound, only looked back at him with big, brilliant green eyes.
"What'cha got there?" called his partner, from the other side of the gate.
"Some runt trying to nick my papers again," the guard called back, changing his grip on the child to the tattered collar of a dirty shirt covering the small frame. "Weren't very nice of ya, stupid runt." He growled, shaking the silent child a bit and throwing them disdainfully to the ground.
"Boy-runt, er 'irl-runt?" the other guard asked, looking around. There was no one else about. The first guard scratched his beard and shrugged.
"Can't tell. Le' me look." He answered and reached down, ripping the overlarge shirt as the child darted away, but too late. The guard tripped her and held her down with his foot.
"Wee girl!" he laughed, pressing Haruka's face into the mud with his boot. Haruka stayed silent, too weary to struggle, too experienced to use up the last of her energy until it was truly needed, when it would do her some good. She just lay there, limp and unmoving, as those cruel hands reached down and pulled her up by her short hair.
'If only I were stronger.....' she thought dully as she was kicked into a wall and the harsh, mocking laughter hit her ears. #
Haruka scowled in thought. Then, it had been a man that beat her. And it had been a man that rescued her. It had been a man that had taken her place in a traveling mercenary group when they'd found their newest spear boy was a girl. They'd always told her the same thing.
"This is no place for little girls. A woman doesn't belong here. This is a man's work. You can't, you're just a girl."
Haruka bit her lip. But give up this body? It'd had its share of pain and suffering. But this was the person she was. The person her parents had surely loved, if her newly regained memories rang true. It was this body that Gwen Hale had held close during the long night in a dank prison cell, murmuring comfortingly in the blonde's ear.
"Why does there even have to be a difference?! Why can't we just be equal?" she asked vehemently of the chill air.
"Makes it more complicated, so of course there has to be."
Haruka jumped and looked up. None other then Thetis smiled down at her and took a seat by her.
"And I'll bet you've appreciated that difference before." She added with a mischievous light in her eyes. Without any warning, she rested her head on Haruka's shoulder. Haruka's reaction time was greatly impeded by surprise and she had some trouble restarting her brain.
"I guess..... but if I were really a man, I wouldn't have to hide, or keep apart from everyone. I wouldn't have so many secrets....." 'I wouldn't be so alone.' She thought and stopped. 'Is that really it? Am I lonely?' She frowned.
'I've been alone so long, I thought I was used to it..... but could I really be lonely because of my secrets?' Haruka glanced at Thetis, who had started humming softly, stroking the tall girl's arm. 'I'm surrounded by people here, more then I can ever remember. So how could I feel alone now?'
"Wouldn't it just be another secret? In the long run?"
Haruka started at Thetis' quiet question.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"It wouldn't really be you, would it? It wouldn't be the real Haruka Tenoh, and if you went through with it, and no one would ever be able to see the real you." Thetis noted softly. Haruka nodded and sighed heavily, looking up at the cold winter sky.
"Not a secret, a lie. It'd be a lie. But sometimes, it's just so much easier....."
Michiru had not been happy when she found that Haruka still hadn't come in. The headmistress had returned what felt like ages ago, followed by the visiting student with blue hair that had approached the group after the power display. Then Michiru had noticed Thetis missing. Sure, the princess had said she wasn't going to fight Michiru for Haruka, but Michiru didn't put it past her to try out of sight. She trusted Haruka, but knew that she did hold some feelings for the mergirl and couldn't help that the little voice of jealousy in her head only added to her paranoia.
Makoto and Ami were both sitting quietly while the others chatted happily about the special dishes that had been prepared for the visitors, the exotic foods that burdened the tables and tempted the bravest to be rewarded by new flavors. Both had noticed Haruka's absence and it's effect on the aqua-haired beauty across from them, but felt it was best not to interfere.
"Tired?" Ami murmured, her voice easily hidden to all but the brunette besides her in the din around them. Makoto smiled wearily and nodded.
"I don't think we'll have much time to ourselves with all the excitement going on....." Makoto answered softly, letting out a covert yawn and Ami smiled. 'Kawaii.....' she thought, leaning lightly against the taller girl. No one would question that, they were good friends. Surely, no one would notice the subtle difference in the feeling coming from the pair that suggested a deeper relationship.
Michiru bit her lip, watching the couple out of the corner of her eye. They made a good couple and Michiru wished she could reach out to them, wished she could tell them all her worries and secrets. All her thoughts about Haruka. Hell, she needed to tell someone! Anyone! Except, of course, the person in question..... 'We'll get past this. We'll get past everything and then we can be happy. Like them. Why is this so hard?' she wondered, her gaze wandering to the windows, to the cold winter sky.
The rest of the morning went smoothly enough, the visitors visiting the Halls, learning about the different sports and activities at the school. Haruka didn't show up the whole time, seemingly putting the headmistress a bit at ease. Apparently, she considered Haruka a bit of trouble-maker. Michiru pushed her worries to the back of her mind and proceeded to perform her duties that she'd been assigned. 'Haruka'll show up sooner or later.....' she told herself. 'Probably just needs time to cool off.' But she was getting slightly depressed when lunch rolled around and there was still no sign of the blonde.
As the group trudged back to the Dining Hall, Queen Serenity stayed back with Elios StarRaven, discussing curriculum and politics.
Thetis covertly moved away from the group and into the woods.
Fenir lifted his massive head, ears forwards as he sensed the mergirl approach. He notified his master of her presence with a silent jerk of his head and felt her presence fill his above average mind. She was still quite upset over the visit she'd received from Haruka's uncle.
"Greetings," Thetis murmured, entering the clearing, surprised to sense Feril already there with her wolf. The beast looked at her coolly, a simple question in those eyes. She listened quietly as Feril's voice filled her mind, explaining the day's happenings and what she was to do. Then she answered the question in the wolf's eyes.
"It went smoothly enough. She never even wondered how I knew what she was thinking about. You were right, they're not all that guarded.....yet. Do you want me to tell Serenity-sama about Lord Drusis—?" Thetis shivered at the icy, biting answer in her mind. "I'm sorry....."
Back in her quarters, half a world away, Feril smiled softly.
** "What's wrong princess? After serving a snake for so long, why are you so against helping me from time to time?" ** she asked.
** "At least under Typhon, I had the freedom of my own mind and my actions, within that space. He was not a tyrant of the soul." ** Thetis answered brokenly. ** "He did use me or anyone else as a pawn in some sick game!"**
** "Watch yourself girl." ** Feril reminded softly. ** "You would do well to remember the reason you're helping me now....." ** There was a long silence.
** "Is that really how you see it? A game?" ** Thetis was silent. ** "I'll have a man bring you the medicine before you leave the school. Don't forget your promise, love." **
Once again, Fenir shook his head and his master's presence had left. The mergirl broke down and sobbed, falling to her knees. Her mind drifted back to the letter she'd received barely two hours before. Her father was dying, poison in his blood from a rare type of stone fish that had found it's way into the castle some how. And how Feril had entered her mind only moments after she'd received this letter from the sea gull that had carried it. Offering help in exchange for the mergirl's service..... in exchange for using her body, mind and soul to keep tabs on what was happening in the Moon Kingdom.
Queen Serenity glided back towards the school, after a long and dull conversation with Elios StarRaven. It seemed she'd get no time to visit her daughter this time, let alone get some quite well deserved rest.
'Maybe I should have let Setsuna bring Usagi's gift with her. At this rate, she'll see it next year.....' The Queen looked up and saw Haruka Tenoh sitting up in a tree, looking thoughtful and oblivious to the world around her. Until those brilliant green eyes met her sad gray-blue ones.
"Hello, Serenity-sama." the blonde said respectfully, climbing down from the tree and giving a small bow. Queen Serenity nodded in return.
"Hello, Haruka-san. It is good to see you again. We missed you after your demonstration this morning." She said, a bit of laughter in her tone. Haruka smiled in spite of herself.
"I needed some time to myself." Haruka explained, and the pair started off in the direction of the school. The beautiful Queen sighed wearily, letting her regal mask fall slightly, and showing a glimmer of the weight she carried on her shoulder.
"I must admit, I am a little selfish, I do wish I had more time with my daughter, without the Court breathing down my neck and the like. But, my duty to my country comes first, like it always has. I have no time to myself. But I understand the feeling." She shook her head.
"What if you had a place to go? A place where it wouldn't attract attention to the fact Usagi's a princess? Because I know you probably want to avoid that or you would be able to talk to her during meals." Haruka asked, an idea forming in her mind. The Queen looked over curiously.
"Such as?"
"The baths. Well, the private one, Feril's, above the others." Haruka started. Serenity smiled.
"I know the one you mean, though I've only been there once myself. If you're willing to invite my daughter and I, I'd be very grateful." Then she frowned. "Though I know she spends that time with her friends....."
"They could go too, it's big enough. You'd get to meet them all, get to know them, that kind of thing. Even Mamoru could go if you all wore towels or swimsuits," Haruka thought out loud. A sudden pressure seized her heart and she swallowed, realizing what it was, but keeping her face clear of the new emotion. "I know Usagi-chan would love to have you meet her friends..... I mean, I know you have before, but....."
"Thank you Haruka-san," Serenity smiled, placing a hand on Haruka's shoulder. "Will you be joining us?" But the Queen's smile faltered at this, already knowing the answer.
".....no. I have..... homework to do." She lied. Serenity smiled sadly.
"I know they'd all love to have you there, so if you change your mind, don't hesitate to join us Haruka-chan," she said softly. "I'm sure they'd understand." Haruka nodded, not meaning it at all.
The pair entered the school and Serenity went to sit with the other guests as Haruka trudged off to the Tower Dorm table, sitting among them, feeling unbelievably alien and out of place among them.
*********
Author: Ok, I am seriously expecting at least one flame for this one. I wasn't going to even do this chapter, but I was stuck, so here it is. And the excuse I have for the quality is that I wanted to face the difficulties they have with gender head on at least once. And I'm going to tell you now, Haruka will end the story as a female, no worries. But here's where your reviews come in. TELL ME WHAT TO DO! During this whole damn thing, I had Neptune's voice stuck in my head, saying the same thing over and over "Uranus is both a girl and a guy. She has the strengths and the personalities of both genders." ( from the manga, for those who don't know. And I kinda wanted to just play with that concept. So, R&R and forgive me, because I've got 2 rather perturbed Outer Senshi and Feril to deal with. *hides* and shadowsphere, you're still a fucking dumbass. Ciao, damn you
R&R. Do it. I'm watching o.O