Thank you for all the wonderful reviews on the last chapter. This one got pretty lengthy, hope you enjoy :)
Paige was beginning to fidget. Her confidence that this was a great idea had began to wane sufficiently after the 4th knock at Emily's door, deciding to accept the fact that Emily most likely wasn't home. The time she had to herself waiting wasn't helping matters, various scenarios of the various realms of possibility playing over in her mind. Mrs Fields could return home first, thinking Paige was in some sort of trouble as she sat there on the front porch. Emily could come home, but not be alone. Spencer Hastings could find her, and make her disappearance look like an unfortunate accident. She shook her head, determined to continue building her resolve to stay, though in truth she had no intention to leave until she had grovelled to Emily at least once; win her back, win her back, repeating over and over in her head.
Emily had a tough shift at work after an unsuccessful day at school, far too distracted to focus on anything thanks to Paige's unexpected arrival the evening before. So when she walked up her driveway, seeing Paige sat there staring blankly ahead, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She had desperately wanted to come back to her empty house, crawl into bed and try to sort the many thoughts swirling around her head into to some sort of action plan. No such luck. Paige had showed up at her house unexpected, sending her head into a spin. This seemed to be the story of her life recently. Mere weeks ago, she would have been ecstatic to see her sitting there, now it only filled her with painful confusion. She wanted to forgive her, to trust her again, understanding that Paige must have found it difficult being back home, even believing her reasoning for being distant. But she had also kissed someone, Emily finding herself unable to really trust that it had been nothing. How could she be certain that her Paige, the side of her only she got to see, was truly solely hers. Maybe there were other girls with another side of Paige that was especially theirs.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she walked up to her front steps, trying to stifle a laugh as Paige jumped up, smoothing down her clothes. "How long have you been sat there?"
"An hour…or three," Paige responded reaching behind her to pick something up, "I didn't know if you were really out or just ignoring the door, so I figured I'd wait until you showed..."
"You really have a thing against calling people don't you?" Paige acknowledged the deserved hint of snark in Emily's voice, but didn't allow herself to falter, holding out the flowers in front of her, nervous smile on her face. Emily's face softened, Paige finally relaxing as she took them from her. "You can't buy my forgiveness with flowers Paige," she spoke again, turning and making her way up to her house, Paige standing hopelessly at the bottom of the steps as she watched Emily walk inside. She had taken the flowers, that was good enough for today. Tomorrow, Paige resolved, she'd do better. "Are you coming?" Paige's head shot up to see Emily standing in the doorway expectantly, quickly nodding before making her way into the house. They stood in an awkward silence, Paige's eyes fixed on Emily full of hope. Emily simply shook her head, more in confusion than anything else, and motioned for Paige to follow her into the kitchen. "You still haven't answered me, why are you here Paige?" she asked, rummaging around in the cupboard for a vase for her flowers.
"I told you," Paige said, trying to gather up some bravado as she sat down at the counter. "I'm not giving up," she saw a flicker of something cross Emily's face at that, something that she hoped, prayed, was love, forgiveness. Anything that meant Emily believed she was serious, that indicated Emily still wanted her. As soon as she'd saw it it was gone, Emily turning her attention back to her flowers, arranging them neatly before setting them down on the counter. Paige found herself struggling to think of something to say, she knew sorry wasn't good enough, knew I love you wasn't good enough. "Emily…"
"Do you really live in Philly now?" Emily asked staring Paige down intently, for all she knew Paige could have simply ran away again. Paige, taken aback, stared back in disbelief, nodding her head firmly in response. "Okay…and your Dad is fine with you coming here?"
"He's went back to Baltimore for the weekend," Paige said in response, noting the surprise on Emily's face. She had been surprised herself when he'd told her he was leaving her to her own devices, fully expecting to be tagged and monitored for fear she might run away as soon as he left. His apparent trust in her had made her happy, her Dad making sure that if Paige was putting her trust in him, he would do the same for her. She smiled at the thought. "He knows that I was visiting you though, he's fine with it,"
"Who was she?"
"Who was who?" Paige said, frowning slightly as she heard Emily bring up the subject.
"The girl…that kissed you…who was she?"
"Em," Paige sighed in protest, the look on the other girls face telling her to answer the question. She knew there was no use avoiding it. "Amy…she was the girl my Dad caught me with when he found out about…well me. We had dated for a couple of weeks. I ran into her when I got home…and we hung out a few times…" she trailed off as Emily nodded her head looking away, wishing in some ways that she hadn't asked. "Emily, you have to believe me…"
"Did you want to kiss her?" Emily said, finding herself unable to stop asking questions she didn't entirely want the answers to.
"No," Paige said firmly, reaching to take Emily's hands into her own. "No. It wasn't like that. She took me by surprise…I thought she was a friend, but…she wanted more. Emily, I love you…please don't think I want anyone else, because I don't."
"What do you want Paige?" Emily asked once more, not necessarily angrily, but not exactly welcoming either.
"You," Paige responded, Emily's firm stare faltering slightly as she heard Paige speak. Her voice was wavering as she said it, Emily could tell that she wasn't playing around, it wasn't a joke, this wasn't some misguided attempt at flirting, it was simply the truth. "Please, Em, just…let me spend some time with you? My bus home isn't until 9,"
"Okay," Emily said after a moment, standing and motioning for Paige to follow her.
"Is this punishment?" Paige asked, smiling when she finally saw Emily smirking slightly as she heard her whine.
"It's my favourite movie," Emily replied, the smirk growing on her face. They were sat on opposite ends of the sofa, and Emily could feel Paige watching her more that she was watching the screen.
"It feels like punishment…you know I hate this movie." Rudy. She had never understood the appeal.
"And you know I love it. Stop complaining."
She huffed a little, turning her attention back to the screen and trying her best to pay attention. A hard task with Emily Fields just a foot or two to the right of her. She had been encouraged by the fact Emily had let her stay, unable to stop herself glancing sideways every two seconds to take a good look at the other girl. Emily Fields was remarkable was the only thing that came to mind as she watched the other girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid also a popular train of thought right now. How could she have Emily, and push her away so easily? Without even thinking. Taking for granted what she had, somehow expecting that she could just show up here and be forgiven, be lucky enough to get a second, third, whatever number chance they were up to now. Sighing, she stood and excused herself, needing a little encouragement.
Pushing the feeling of ridiculousness away as she entered the bathroom phone in hand, she dialled her voicemail. 'Paige, its me.' It began, Paige listening intently as the message played. 'I love you. I was scared to say it, but I was wrong not to.' She listened to Emily's voice on the other end of the line, willing the words she was hearing to give her the confidence to go back downstairs and win Emily back. 'The only thing I am certain of right now, is that you're it for me too, Mccullers.' This was a week ago, she told herself. Nothing can change that much in a week. If it hadn't changed for Paige, it couldn't possibly have changed for Emily. She made her way back to the living room, emboldened.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked, noticing Paige had been gone for a while.
"Tell me how to fix it," was all Paige said in response, standing in the doorway.
"Fix what?"
"Us," Paige said, her voice cracking. "I'm not going to stop showing up here…not until I get you back, I don't care if that's…insane, you love me, I know you do,"
"Paige just because I…feel that way doesn't mean I should instantly forgive you for being a…a fucking asshole." Paige was taken aback by Emily's words, the anger within them coming out of nowhere. "I know you're…trying, but please, think about how bad it must have felt for me to hear the person that told me I was their everything after believing I'd never, ever find that again telling me that a 100 or so miles meant that we weren't worth fighting for anymore,"
"It…I can't take it back, what I did while I was away, I can't, I hate that I'm such a fuck up…but it hasn't changed Em, your still my everything…"
"I can't do this right now," Emily said, willing herself to calm down. She knew she'd let her anger get the better of her, knew deep down why Paige had acted the way she did. She didn't want to take it out on Paige, and knew that shouting at her for it wasn't going to get them anywhere. Her problem at the moment was that she didn't know where she wanted them to go. "I'll give you a ride to the station, don't want you to miss your bus."
"I think it's romantic," Hanna said through a mouthful of food.
"Or insane," Spencer added for good measure, Emily accepting that they were both valid descriptions of Paige's behaviour over the past two days.
"If she explained why she'd been distant, that this girl kissing her was one-sided, and you say you believe her, then why are you so reluctant to take her back? I know your still hurt but I mean…she's closer now, isn't that what you wanted?" Aria said, deciding to chime in.
"Yeah, I did…I do," Emily sighed, beginning to think asking her friends for their advice wasn't going to help her confusion. She knew Paige. She knew, just somehow knew, that Paige would do anything to take it all back, she had seen it the night before. That wasn't the part that was bothering her. "She kissed someone else. She said it was one-sided I know…but I don't know what to think. She was drunk with some girl when she called me to…blow me off. She was ignoring me…and while she was doing that she was kissing this other girl, who by the way, I now know was her ex," she felt a pang of jealousy thinking of Paige with someone else, Paige wanting someone else.
"She told you that it was a one-sided thing, you think she's lying?"
"I…I don't know…when she was away she was so different to the way she is when she's with me…what if…it's all an act. What if she's lying?"
"She's not." Hanna said confidently, all three girls looking up at her in surprise as she defended Paige. "C'mon! Sure, she was a douchebag while she was away. Not cool. But whenever I've seen her around you she barely notices anyone else, anything else, It'd be sick if it wasn't so cute. And you did try to kiss Samara…your ex," Hanna added.
"That was different,"
"Maybe, I'm just saying, you've both had momentary lapses of judgement. But I saw how happy she made you Em, if you think she can still do that, forget all this crap that's happened, and start fresh. You've both been through so much, you deserve to give it a shot. It's just a shot. Just be brave okay? It won't be easy, it might not work out…but isn't it worth trying? And if she hurts you again, we'll set Spencer on her."
Emily's brow furrowed as she thought Hanna's words over, before shaking her head lightly in realisation. Be brave. Hanna had managed to point out why Emily was so afraid to take Paige back, subtly telling her to stop denying herself what she wants out of fear; something Paige once did she chuckled sadly to herself. She had spent so much time mending herself after Maya, however much she hated to admit it, everything had left her broken and she had feared it was beyond repair. She had thought Paige had fixed that, fixed her, but feeling Paige pull away, regardless of the reason, had made her retreat back into herself, shielding her already fragile heart. Picking at her food once again, she knew now she had to decide whether Paige was worth the risk of exposing it once again.
Paige couldn't help but feel like a creep. She had arrived in Rosewood once again earlier that day, getting in a much-needed catch up with Caleb, and, after not so subtly asking him what he knew about Emily's plans for the day, had spent the best part of the last 30 minutes walking up and down the street across from the Brew, catching glimpses of the other girl working every time she passed. She didn't know what had come over her the past few days. The first night when her Father had dropped her off, she'd fully intended to take his advice and grovel for forgiveness. She'd appreciated the gesture, her Dad surprising her again after doing so numerously since they had been reunited. What he would say about her now however, she wasn't so sure. She felt beyond desperate, silently hoping that Emily, regardless of how hurt and angry she had gotten the night before, would secretly be finding it romantic somehow. She knew that the only way she could convince Emily to give them another chance was in person. Phone calls were a touchy subject. She knew she had already done the damage where Emily was concerned, hating herself for managing to hurt the girl she loved, especially knowing how much hurt Emily had been through already. After feeling defeated when Emily had dropped her off the night before, she had psyched herself up again, back today to do a better job. This wasn't a time to be holding back. Glancing at her watch, 9pm, she quickly made her way across the street just in time to see Emily walking out after her shift.
"You know, I could probably consider this stalking," Emily said seeing Paige waiting for her as she left the Brew.
"Too creepy?" Paige said walking towards her.
"Little bit. Are you going to do this every night?"
"Well…no," Emily turned to face her at that, curious expression on her face. "I start school on Monday. So I can probably stalk you some more tomorrow, but then my Dad will be home and it'll be a little harder to get away with. But next weekend, yeah I probably will." Emily managed a small smile as she watched Paige standing there grinning nervously, adorably she had to admit to herself. "Can I walk you home?"
Emily stilled for a moment, looking at Paige, her brown eyes staring at her hopefully, pleadingly, punching a hole in Emily's resolve to stay angry. "Okay," she said softly, walking in the direction of her house.
"So…" Paige began, feeling far more nervous than she had expected to be in the other girls company, hating the silence that had fallen between them.
"You start school this Monday? Nervous?" Emily asked, seeing Paige tense at the mention of school, Paige thankful that she'd broken the silence that had settled over them.
"Kind of. It's pretty late in the year…and its senior year so I'm not expecting to make many friends or anything…I just want to graduate, hopefully get in some late college admissions…any kind of college, maybe it's too late, or I should go back a year...I haven't really thought much about it to be honest, everything's… been a lot to take in…I know I should have sorted this out sooner, and I guess I haven't really done myself any favours..."
"You'll be okay Paige," Emily said, noticing Paige had began to babble nervously. "And…I'm here, if you ever need to talk about things,"
"Thanks," Paige smiled, happy to see Emily softening towards her. "I'm sorry I was babbling…It's just…I kind of ignore everything and then when I think about it, it's all too much. I'm working on it with my therapist, y'know…dealing instead of avoiding, or whatever..."
"You have a therapist?"
"Uh yeah," Paige said, encouraged as she felt Emily gently linking their hands together, forcing herself to continue speaking and not begin hyperventilating at the small action. "I went a lot when I was back in Baltimore actually, I still have to go once every two weeks now that we've moved to Philly. It's kind of a condition. I can come here to see you, as long as I go there. My Dad think's it'll help. He went to see her a lot when I was away, I think it's partly responsible for his whole new 'attitude'…I haven't really been right since Al…Alison, and my Mom…and running away…well I guess it'll help. I'm going next weekend actually, so my apologies, I guess I'll have to stalk you when I get back,"
"I'm glad," Emily began, ignoring Paige's joke as they arrived at her house. "That you're working things out I mean,"
"Me too," Paige said, the two girls settling to an awkward silence once again as Emily dropped Paige's hand and searched for her keys. "Well, you're home safe," she said, motioning to Emily's house. "Em, if it's okay, can I call you tomorrow? After school?"
"Tomorrow's Sunday," Emily stated.
"Right…shit…um well can I call you Monday? After school?" Paige asked once again, shuffling nervously. Emily saw it then, that Paige was in a way just as fragile as Emily believed she herself was.
"I've waited for your calls before…don't disappoint me okay? If you say you're going to call…call." Emily said, her tone still soft despite the seriousness of her words.
"Is that a yes?" Paige said, regaining some of her confidence.
"Yeah, I'd like that," Emily replied with a soft smile. "Let me know how it goes okay?"
"Okay," Paige said with a smile, overjoyed that Emily's anger was thawing, deciding to be bold and leaning forward to tentatively kiss Emily's cheek. "Night Em,"
"Paige wait," Emily called out as she watched Paige walk away. "Maybe, if your Dad says its okay, I could drive you to your appointment next weekend? You can show me around Baltimore, we'll make a day of it?"
"I'd like that," Paige said, smiling in surprise as Emily spoke. Tonight could definitely be deemed successful. "I'll ask him when he gets home tomorrow,"
"Great…" Emily smiled, Paige nodding awkwardly before turning and walking away once again. "Paige wait…" Emily called out once more, Paige spinning around faster this time as she heard Emily call for her again. "Are you…is your Dad still away?"
"Yeah…he's back tomorrow," Paige repeated, unable to read the look on Emily's face.
"Stay," Emily blurted out, closing her eyes as she cursed herself internally. "I mean…if you can, you could stay? I can drive you home in the morning. It's late and…well Rosewood isn't the place to be wandering around on your own..."
"Sure," Paige said in surprise, fully taken aback by Emily's request. She had felt her warming up to her on the walk home, but hadn't expected the walk to end this way. Emily walked up to the door, walking inside and waiting for Paige to follow.
"Where's your Mom?" Paige asked closing the door behind her, having noticed that Mrs Fields hadn't been around on her numerous visits.
"Texas, with my Dad," Emily replied, surprising Paige once again by taking her hand and pulling her into the living room, Paige relishing the touch. Emily released her hand to take a seat on the sofa, motioning for Paige to join her. She could feel Paige's persistence waring down her already fraying anger, ebbing away at the fear that was holding her back. This was Paige after all, Paige Mccullers, who'd loved her since she was 14. Emily wanted desperately to believe that hadn't changed. Here was Paige, in her house once again, making her head spin once again. She looked at Paige in contemplation. They were still so young, being together, or whatever it was they had been, was still relatively new for them. Of course they would make mistakes from time to time. She had a feeling that no matter how many years would pass by, if she let Paige go now Paige would forever continue crashing back into her life somehow, and she would forever find herself wanting her.
"I've been thinking," Emily began, before sighing to herself, "all I've done since I saw you the other day is think," Paige looked at her patiently, waiting for her to continue, her heart in her throat she was so full of hope. "You know what, I'm sick to death of thinking," she glanced at the clock, before startling Paige by standing abruptly. She reached out for Paige's hand again, biting her bottom lip in contemplation, before deciding she was making the right choice. Paige took her hand, Emily pulling her to her feet and leading her up the stairs.
"What are we doing?" Paige asked nervously as Emily pulled her into her bedroom.
"I want you to stay with me," Emily answered, surprising Paige once again as she moved towards her, slowly pushing Paige's jacket off her shoulders, the action causing Paige to gulp. "I…need you to stay tonight," Emily said, taking the jacket and placing it over the back of her chair. "I'm going to get changed."
Emily shut the bathroom door behind her, leaning against the sink in an attempt to settle down. What was she doing? She changed slowly, trying to get her thoughts in order. Being with Paige, even when Paige was the cause of it, always made her hurt a little less. She felt safe with the other girl, content, and she saw earlier as Paige spoke, as she had taken her hand, that she did the same thing for Paige. She had realised then that it was pointless remaining angry for the sake of feeling angry, feeling like it was what she was supposed to do, like Paige should be punished somehow. She didn't want to be angry at Paige. She wanted desperately to just forgive her already, they had already wasted so much time.
Paige perched herself nervously on the edge of Emily's bed as she watched the other girl leave the room, taken fully by surprise by the other girls actions for the second time that evening. She had noticed Emily warming up to her, happy that she was finally getting somewhere, tonight's turn of events however were still very unexpected. She tapped her foot anxiously, waiting for what seemed like forever for Emily to return. She found herself fidgeting with unease, unsure about what this all meant. What was Emily wanting to do instead of thinking? She shoved any inappropriate thoughts aside, silently praying Emily was now ready to talk to her, to forgive her even. She watched as Emily returned, dressed in shorts and a tank top, holding out some clothes for Paige to take. "You can wear these," she said, before climbing past Paige and getting into bed. Paige stood, turning away from Emily before changing hastily into the sweats and t-shirt Emily had given her. She turned around sheepishly, waiting for Emily to tell her what to do next, any bravado she'd managed to build up waiting outside earlier that night had disappeared the second Emily had pulled her into her bedroom. "Come here," she said, pulling back the covers, Paige complying and climbing in alongside her. Her breath hitched as she felt Emily snake an arm around her waist, resting her head on her chest, Paige certain she would be able to hear the frantic beating of her heart.
Releasing a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding, she returned the embrace, pulling Emily closer. "I've missed this," she said, slowly allowing her hand to comb gently through Emily's hair.
"I'm done, worrying about things. About whether it will go this way or that way…but If you ever, ever, hurt me like that again, we're done Paige." Emily said firmly, Paige's hand stilling as she heard the hurt in the other girls voice, hating that she was the cause of it. "If you…I don't think I'll get over it, if you leave me again and never come back. When somethings wrong, talk to me about it. If you need space, tell me you need space. Don't push me away."
"I promise," Paige said firmly, shifting slightly so she could face Emily without losing the contact between them. "I'm going to spend every day making it up to you, until you can trust me again. I'm an idiot, that's something that has never changed, but you know what else has never changed?"
"That you love me?" Emily said, finally letting her guard down fully, allowing herself to forgive Paige, to trust that she meant what she was saying. The comfort of being in the other girls arms quickly weakening any anger left inside her. It felt too right, them like this, for her to be making anything other than the right choice in allowing Paige to get close to her.
"I do." Paige smiled, before cautiously leaning forward, surprising Emily by bypassing her lips and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "So…does this mean we're starting over?"
"I almost kissed Samara…after you'd called, she was comforting me and…I almost kissed her."
"Okay," Paige said, having tensed slightly at Emily's unexpected confession, taking a moment before speaking again. It doesn't matter, she told herself. Samara isn't the one here now. Still old habits die-hard, Paige finding herself beginning to give Emily an out once again. "Emily if you want to be…"
"I love you," Emily said, cutting Paige off, her voice barely a whisper. "It scares me, how much I do. How much I need you. Please...don't hurt me okay?"
"Em," Paige said softly tugging the other girl closer, hating hearing Emily sound so small, so broken. She was never going to be the cause of her hurt again, resolving to never stop showing Emily just how much she meant to her.
"We can start over, if you still want that. Please tell me you still want that," Paige's breath hitched as she heard Emily speak, the relief washing over her.
"It's all I want," Paige said, overjoyed to hear those words coming from Emily. "I'm sorry, about everything. For constantly…messing up."
"Don't," Emily said softly in response, playing with the hem of Paige's shirt. "I understand, at least, I think I do. You pull away when you're scared, its nothing new,"
"I'm going to work on being better Em," Paige said softly, her voice full of sincerity and apology, the look in her eyes making the last of Emily's anger and uncertainty dissipate, she leant forward, finally kissing Paige softly.
"Ugh…you have to stop doing this," Emily groaned as she pulled away, burying her head in the crook of the other girls neck.
"Doing what?" Paige laughed lightly, slowly trailing her hand up and down Emily's back soothingly.
"Showing up and making my head spin, it's exhausting," she laughed again at Emily's words, pulling her closer, holding her tighter. "Promise me the next time you knock on my door that it'll be for something simple like…a date, dinner with my parents, you know regular girlfriend stuff,"
"I'm your girlfriend?" Paige asked hopefully, Emily looked up to meet her eyes, a small smile creeping onto her face.
"We'll see."
A skirt Em, I have to wear a fucking skirt - Paige
Emily tried to hold in a laugh as she attempted to discreetly read Paige's text message in class. Paige had been sending her text's intermittently all morning, Emily gathering that aside from having a school uniform that lacked pants, Paige's first day at her new school was going okay. She had dropped her off the day before, Paige surprising her with a phone call later that night. She smiled wider as her phone buzzed again, twice, happy that she had decided to give them a second chance.
Should have stuck to homeschooling, look like a douche - Paige
She had to hold back a laugh once more, seeing that beneath that message was a picture of Paige, pointing at her uniform, and unimpressed look plastered across her face. If the other girl kept this up she was going to get caught, her teacher luckily currently oblivious, quietly explaining their latest English assignment. She tapped out a quick reply, quick to reassure Paige that she looked cute as hell in her uniform.
Got to get to class, no phones allowed. No fucking pockets to hide it in, skirts ffs. Text you later don't worry, swear I will - Paige
"Someone's perked up over the weekend," Hanna whispered as she observed the wistful look on Emily's face as she set her phone down. "It wouldn't have anything to do with one Paige Mccullers would it?"
"Maybe," Emily said with a smirk, laughing lightly as she turned her attention back to her lesson, Hanna making it clear she wanted the details at lunch time.
Paige walked out of Dr Sullivan's office with a grin on her face, Emily waiting in her car across the street. To say todays session had been unsuccessful was an understatement, Paige unable to think about anything other than the fact that Emily Fields had taken it upon herself to get up at a ridiculous hour that morning to drive for over two hours, and sit in her car alone for an hour after that, all for the promise that the rest of the day was theirs to spend with each other. Who wanted to talk about their problems when they had that to look forward to. She laughed to herself lightly as Emily jumped when she settled into the passenger seat, the other girl must have fallen asleep waiting. "All okay?"
"Perfect," Paige replied, the grin still plastered on her face as she leant forward to kiss Emily lightly. She had spent the week worrying that maybe the numerous calls and texts she was bombarding Emily with had been overkill, happy that now they were together Emily seemed to be overjoyed at the effort she was making. Still she was being cautious, not wanting to move too fast.
"Where are you taking me today?" Emily asked with a grin of her own, lacing their fingers together.
"It's….a surprise, um…can we switch?" Paige said nervously, motioning for Emily to let her drive.
"Seriously?" Emily asked hesitantly.
"I won't crash it, I promise."
Arriving unscathed, Paige fumbled nervously with her phone, trying to discreetly check her messages. Satisfied with what she had read, she quickly leaped from the car, running around to get Emily's door for her, the other girl chuckling lightly. "It's this way," she said anxiously, taking Emily's hand and leading her towards the park entrance.
"I know it doesn't look like much now…" she began as she lead Emily to where she hoped everything had been set up, relaxing slightly as she saw the picnic blanket at the top of the hill. "But once you get to the top…"
"Wow," Emily said pausing. From the car it had looked like nothing out of the ordinary, a grassy hill next to the road, but as Paige pulled them towards the other side of the park, gently guiding Emily towards a picnic blanket, the view she was greeted with was extraordinary.
"You like it?"
"It's beautiful," Emily said as Paige sat down, motioning for her to sit beside her. "How did you get this here?" Emily asked as she sat down, noticing that there hadn't been any picnic basket or blanket when she picked Paige up that morning.
"I called my cousin…and he agreed to set this up and wait until I got here," Paige answered, blushing lightly. "I wanted it to be a surprise."
"It's wonderful Paige," Emily smiled, leaning forward to kiss her tentatively. She looked out as Paige unpacked the various foods, the spot Paige had selected giving them the perfect view of the harbour and city that was behind it. They ate and talked for a while, mostly about Paige's uneventful first week at school, Emily sensing that the other girl was still worrying about it, before eventually the conversation died down, the two girls laying back in a comfortable silence, enjoying having an afternoon to just be together.
"I used to bring my Mom here," Paige said breaking the silence after a while, eyes focused on the sky. "She'd always be talking about how she'd come here when she was younger, it was her…special spot she'd call it. She wanted to take me here when we moved back but my Dad wouldn't let her, saying she was too sick. So one day, when he was away, she made me sneak us out of the house, and we came here….she said I had to see it with her before she…so every time he'd leave, I'd bring her here. It's my favourite place in the whole city."
"Thank you for sharing it with me," Emily said softly, noticing the slight sadness in Paige's voice as she spoke.
"I'm sorry," Paige sat up slowly, Emily copying her movements. "Just…memories."
"It's ok Paige," Emily said, pulling Paige's arm around her shoulder and nuzzling into the other girls side.
"I think a lot about what she'd say…if she knew," Emily nodded in understanding, knowing what Paige was referring to. "I think she'd be really happy I'm with you,"
"I'd like to think so," Emily said with a smile, tugging Paige closer.
"She always wanted me to be your friend, she was always saying Pam's daughter is a wonderful girl Paige, she'd be a good influence in your life. Then later it was why do you never talk to Emily any more Paige…but she didn't know why…"
"Paige," Emily interrupted, seeing that Paige was about to being berating herself for the things that had happened when they were younger. "She'd be happy knowing you took her advice and came back to me eventually,"
Paige began laughing lightly then, taking Emily by surprise. "I'm sorry…it just, I can't believe the way things have…worked out,"
"Me neither," Emily agreed, smiling softly. "But I'm glad they have."
"Do you want to come inside? My Dad shouldn't be home for a few hours yet," Paige asked as Emily pulled up outside her apartment complex. They had wandered around the harbour after their picnic, neither of them really wanting to leave, but needing to get a good start on their journey home. "I didn't mean for that to sound…"
"Suggestive?" Emily smirked as Paige blushed, turning off the engine. "I can come up for a bit,"
"Great," Paige responded with a smile, climbing out of the car and rushing around to open Emily's door for her, much to Emily's amusement. She simply rolled her eyes, taking Paige's hand, allowing the other girl to lead her up the stairs to her new home.
"I thought you said it was small?" Emily stated in surprise as she walked inside, thinking to herself that the apartment could probably be the same size as her house. Paige simply shrugged in response. "This place is amazing. I'm glad things are working out for you Paige,"
"Me too," Paige smiled pulling Emily towards her. "I still can't really believe any of it's real, my Dad…living here, having you…I mean…"
"You do," Emily said, Paige dipping her head in disbelief. "Paige," she said, lifting her chin so their eyes met. "You have me."
"Em…thank you, for giving me another chance,"
"Thank you, for not giving up on us," Emily said, before Paige leant in to kiss her chastely, happy when she felt Emily snake her arms around her waist. "So…" Emily smiled, placing a soft kiss to the side of Paige's neck, causing her to shiver. "Can I see your room?" she asked, placing another kiss to Paige's shoulder before moving backwards and walking towards the hallway. "And that was meant to sound suggestive by the way,"
"Jesus," Paige said with a small laugh, taking Emily's hand and pulling her towards her room.
Emily stilled for a moment when she entered, taking the time to look around. It occurred to her she had never, in all the time they had known each other, been inside Paige's bedroom. She'd been to her house in Rosewood when they were younger, but never without her parents. She smiled to herself at the thought of Paige wanting her here, no fear anymore that her Dad might suspect anything should they be alone in her room. Paige's things were in boxes everywhere, Emily noticing the only thing she had properly unpacked was a photograph of her Mother, which was set on her dresser beside another picture. She picked it up, smiling as she saw what it was. It had been taken in the 8th grade, at one of their first swim meets, the picture folded down the middle, cutting off the majority of the other swimmers, leaving a, surprisingly happy for back then Emily noted, picture of Emily and Paige. "It's the only one I had of us," Paige said moving towards her. "Sorry if it's creepy or something, I just really…wanted to have a picture of us."
"We need a new one," was all Emily said in response, before placing the picture back on the dresser and turning to face Paige. "This is a nice," she said with a smile, snaking her arms around Paige and pulling her closer, "I like this…being in your house…knowing you're home, and happy,"
"I like being with you," Paige said softly, kissing Emily lightly, the kiss soon becoming more heated, Emily taking Paige by surprise and moving her backwards until they fell onto the bed. "Em," she gasped breaking the kiss, only for Emily to start kissing her again. "Em," she said again, pulling back, laughing lightly at the small pout that had formed on Emily's face. "Not that I'm not enjoying this…I just, um, I want to ask you something before we, well y'know..."
"Ask me what?" Emily said, allowing Paige to sit up slightly, still straddling her hips. "Before we what?" She added with a playful smirk.
Paige blushed slightly when she realised what she'd just implied, before steadying herself to ask her question. "Will you be my girlfriend? Like proper, y'know, um…girlfriend," Paige frowned when she felt herself stutter out her question. "I mean…I want to be able to say to people Emily Goddamn Fields is my girlfriend, because…well how lucky is the person who gets to say that? I know we're starting over and maybe it's too soon…I don't want to rush this I just don't want there to be any doubt about it either..."
"Paige," Emily cut her off, cupping her cheek, "Yes."
"Yes? As in…"
"Emily 'Goddamn' Fields is your girlfriend…" she smirked, leaning forward to kiss Paige once more. "I don't want to waste any more time when it comes to me and you," she said softly, before laying Paige down only to begin kissing her feverishly once more.
Emily allowed herself to get lost in the kiss, lost in Paige, accepting that from this moment forward she was resolving to stop focusing on her past, their past and turn her attention to their future. She moaned into the kiss as Paige rolled them over, feeling her slowly running her hands beneath Emily's shirt, slipping the fabric up and off, the kiss breaking momentarily before allowing her hands to roam over the newly exposed skin. She raked her nails down Paige's back, tugging at the hem of her shirt as she felt Paige trailing kisses down her neck, the action sending shivers down her spine. She pulled Paige closer, relishing in the feeling of the other girls weight on top of her.
The pleasure was short-lived however, both girls jumping apart as they heard someone clearing their throat in the doorway.
"Dad…" Paige said, the colour draining from her face as she saw him standing there. She could see his jaw tensing, watched as he avoided looking at either of them, Emily hastily pulling her shirt back over her head. This situation was all too familiar. This always happened, she thought to herself, panic taking over as nobody said a word. One thing went right, another had to go wrong. She'd finally got Emily back, only for her Dad to catch them in a compromising position, her heart sinking as she watched him, the anger practically radiating off him. "Dad I'm so sorry…"
"Well, the grovelling worked I see," he cut her off, finally speaking. Paige couldn't read the look on his face, or decipher the tone in his voice. Emily was frozen in place as well, eyes fixed on the ground. "And you did stick to the open door rule…unfortunately," Paige sunk her head into her hands, desperately wanting the ground to swallow her whole, terrified of what he meant by unfortunately. Her head shot back up when she heard him laughing lightly. "Emily, its…nice to see you again,"
"Hi," Emily squeaked out, Paige noting that she was just as scared as she was. "I'm so sorry Sir we just got a little carried away…"
"I see," he said again, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. Paige grabbed Emily's hand then, certain that things were about to take a turn for the worse. "Call me Nick, not Sir, and for heaven's sake Paige, don't look so nervous,"" he said, his voice definitely softening this time. "I don't appreciate you thinking its appropriate to get…intimate…just because I'm away on business," he began, visibly struggling to get his words out. "That's not something I'm okay with. Please respect my wishes in my house. You're my little girl Paige…and Emily I've known you since you were a child…I don't need to see either of you doing that. But…don't…don't think that I don't approve of the two of you together. Because…well thats not the case. The two of you…I mean you are surely…you are together? This isn't just one of many Paige…christ,"
"Dad…" Paige said softly, noticing how much her Dad was struggling. "She's my girlfriend. And I love her. There isn't many there's just…Emily."
"Good," he said, relaxing somewhat, his gaze settling on their entwined hands. Paige felt Emily try to pull her hand away, tightening her grip. "Good. Emily, you're…a wonderful girl, I know that Paige…is in safe hands," Emily smiled at him at that, Paige feeling her relax a little beside her. "I'd suggest taking the two of you out to dinner…but that might be a little too awkward right now, don't you think? Once we're settled here, we'll have to all have dinner, your Mother too. For now…here" he said, opening up his wallet and handing Paige some money. "Take your girlfriend out for some dinner, and Emily sweetheart, don't keep her out too late, "
"I won't," Emily said with a smile, the flush still evident on her cheeks.
Paige managed to let out a breath as he left, for all she knew she could've been holding it since he'd caught them. "Holy shit,"
"That…was not what I thought was going to happen," Emily said truthfully, watching Paige collapsing backwards, laughing lightly.
"Don't question a miracle Fields." Paige said looking up at her. Her eyes had been glued to her Father the entire time he had been there, and she smiled to herself knowing, just somehow knowing, he was really trying to control his reaction and keep his emotions in check, hoping silently that he'd also truly meant the things he had said about Emily and their relationship.
"Come on Miss Mccullers," Emily said, bouncing up and pulling Paige to her feet. "Take your girlfriend to dinner."
Paige had noticed her Father's awkwardness for the next few days, both of them acting like the events of the other night hadn't happened. He had reassured her that everything was still fine. She didn't know what to think. He'd began to acting even weirder by Monday, surprised to hear him saying he was driving her to the Fields for dinner, and he wouldn't be joining them. Something was up. If she hadn't thought that originally, she definitely knew that when he told her to pack and overnight bag. She began to feel unsettled. Had he really been okay with what had happened? Was he really going to drive to her to Emily's, or was this it, the bubble finally bursting.
But it didn't. He dropped her off, exchanged pleasantries with Pam, and left. They had eaten dinner together, she and Emily tidied up afterwards, nothing was out of the ordinary. It was when Emily's mother sat opposite them in the living room, pausing the movie they had decided to watch, that everything started to make sense.
"I've spoken with Nick," Pam began, Emily and Paige both looking at her curiously as to where this was going. "We both agreed it was a good idea now that you two are getting more…serious, if one of us sat you down for a talk, and we thought it would be most appropriate if I did it," Paige saw Emily placing her palms to her face, herself not fully understanding what was going on. Did neither of their parents approve of their relationship? Is that where this was going? "I know the two of you are going to have…urges…" Now she understood what this was about, quickly mirroring Emily's discomfort. "We know that there will be times when one or both of us won't be home and that you might…well, we just want you to make sure that you don't rush into anything, that you understand the importance of being ready, and respecting each other…"
"Mom…" Emily said squirming.
"We understand Mrs Fields," Paige said, Emily glancing at her unimpressed as she heard Paige sucking up to her mother.
"I'm not done," Pam said, Paige noting that she was finding this just as awkward as she was. "Believe me, this is not easy for me. Look, you're two young women…and I trust you both to make the right decisions. That said, if you're going to do anything please don't do it when I'm in the house, I would like to remain blissfully unaware..."
"Mom..."
"I'm sorry, I'm done," Pam said standing. "I took the liberty of writing down a few links about…well girl things. Here,"
"Thanks Mom," Emily said giving her Mother a curt smile. After telling Emily to make Paige up a bed on the couch when they were done with their movie, she said her goodbyes and made her way upstairs to bed, Emily's head collapsing into Paige's lap with a groan. "Oh my god…that was horrendous,"
"Agreed," Paige said, laughing lightly as she allowed her hand to run through Emily's hair.
"I always thought she'd sussed us out that morning, before your Dad showed up…" Emily began. "Doesn't she know she's like a month too late?"
"I think its real sweet of her to…give us this," Paige said trying to stifle her laughter as she picked up the paper Pam had handed Emily.
"I'm mortified."
"I'm…well I'm quite relieved actually," Paige said, Emily rolling over to look up at her in disbelief. "When my Dad told me to pack a bag I thought he was sending me away again…if I had known he was acting so weird because him and your Mom wanted to give us 'the talk'…well I'm just saying, I'd rather it be that,"
"I guess you're right," Emily said smiling. There were far worse things than having to listen to her Mother talk to her and her girlfriend about sex. Girlfriend, she liked the sound of that.
Paige couldn't sleep. If it killed her to sleep at home without Emily, it killed her even more to sleep without Emily knowing they were in the same house. That if she was willing to take her chances, she could sneak upstairs and be with her. With the amount of awkward parental conversations she'd been subjected to this week she wasn't willing to take her chances. Emily however, seemed to have other ideas.
"What are you doing?" Paige asked, feeling the sofa dip beside her, Emily's arms snaking around her waist.
"I just wanted five more minutes," Emily said sweetly leaning forward, disappointed when Paige dodged her kiss.
"You're going to get us into trouble. I'm not ready for another talking to Em."
"She's asleep," Emily said, leaning in once again, Paige kissing her lightly this time before pulling back once again. "Paige," Emily whined, attempting to give the other girl her best puppy dog eyes.
"You'll be the death of me Fields," Paige said shaking her head, pulling Emily towards her and kissing her intently this time. She sighed contently as the kiss broke, finally, after all the events of the past few months, Paige felt completely at home.
Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. There is only going to be one or two more chapters after this, thank you for reading.