hey guys. i'm sorry if i haven't been updating this story very often-- i've been focusing more on You Can Let Go Now. :) PLEASE READ THAT STORY, GUYS! It's a Sirius/OC fic, for all you romantic suckers out there. LOL.

I'm sorry about any typos here in this chapter, I haven't been able to reread it. Please just notify me in a review if you see anything that needs to be corrected: grammar, spelling, etc.

Read and review, please. :) Thanks! Oh yeah, this chapter is the longest one i've done. EVER. Seriously. ;)

12. SECRETS DON'T LAST LONG

The next day was a Sunday. The previous night, Jolie and Remus got together with each other and fell asleep—again—on the couch in the common room. When Jolie woke up, feeling a warm, bright patch of sunlight shining on her face, she realized Remus wasn't around. She sat up and looked around the room, but there was no sign of him. Strange, she thought to herself. Knowing Remus, she headed straight to the boys' dormitory and quietly opened the door, only to find all the boys' beds empty. Jolie glanced back at the grandfather clock—it wasn't that early. It was around ten in the morning. She grunted absentmindedly and felt something heavy move in her stomach. Jolie gasped and her hand immediately travelled to her womb and she sighed, feeling guilty that Remus still had no idea that she was carrying his child.

Today, Jolie was wearing sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. She had done quite well in hiding her figure because apparently, the baby's growth was faster than normal, since the child was a shape-shifter. There was distinct bulge in Jolie's stomach that made it obvious that she was pregnant, but loose clothing made it easy for her to keep her secret.

In silence, Jolie heard the showers in the boys' dormitory running. Still not having found Remus, she curiously went in front of the door of the bathroom. She pressed her ears to the door and yes, there was water running inside. Slowly, she opened the door and was relieved when she recognized Remus' silhouette behind the shower curtains. For some strange reason, she was breathing unevenly and deeply and she had that stinking feeling in her guts, the one that she always felt when she would think about Remus and the baby.

Not thinking properly, she stepped forward on the cold bathroom tiles and, not caring that Remus was using the shower at ten in the morning, Jolie slid the shower curtains aside.

"Jo?" Remus called out to her, surprised. "What's wrong?"

Jolie had a blank, yet scared expression on her face, and she just realized it now.

"Remus…" she muttered, preoccupied about the baby. Everyday got worse for her, especially now that her stomach was starting to swell at an alarming rate. "I'm scared," Jolie told Remus.

They stared at each other, and Remus was confused immensely. The water from the shower kept on running and Remus was drenched with water all over, since he wasn't done using the shower anyway.

Not caring that Remus had no clothes on, Jolie stepped into the shower and embraced Remus from behind. "Jo," Remus said, slightly alarmed, "you'll—you'll get wet in here."

Jolie shook her head. "I need you, Remus. Now, more than ever," she muttered, her words barely audible.

Remus faced her and put his hands on either side of her face. Their eyes were locked into each others' gaze and for the first time, Remus felt helpless.

"I'm so sorry," Jolie cried.

Remus shook his head, "I don't understand… for what?"

Jolie said nothing but she put her head on his chest and she was getting drenched in water as well. After a while, Jolie stepped out of the shower and cleared her throat. "You better finish up," she said, "I'll see you downstairs."

"Alright," Remus smiled weakly as he let go of her hand, "See you. I love you."

Jolie smiled sadly and mouthed, "I love you, too."

As she exited the Gryffindor common room, she didn't care at all that her clothes were wet. She walked down the hallways and heard the portraits ask her if everything was alright, but she didn't even mind responding. She hated this feeling so much. She knew she was at fault and that she was the one to blame… one more mistake could ruin everything.

"Jo?" a familiar voice called out from behind Jolie.

Jolie didn't even need to look behind to see whose voice that belonged to. "Severus," she answered back. She was thankful that the hallway was clear, so she and Severus could talk like old friends.

A warm hand touched Jolie's shoulder. "Hey," Severus greeted her with a bright smile on his face. Jolie sighed.

"Hey," she replied.

"Is… is everything okay?"

Jolie scrunched her eyes and tipped her face upwards, "I feel so messed up," she groaned. Severus listened to Jolie. She continued, "These are the times when I feel like dying. God, take me now. I don't deserve to live."

"Shut up, Jolie," Severus said. "You know that's not true."

"I've done something horrible, Sev," Jolie looked at him.

Severus gave her a comforting smile and rubbed soothing circles on her back. "You can tell me. Everything's going to be fine."

Jolie frowned and raised her voice, "No. Everything is not going to be fine. I'm stuck in a problem I can't get out of. And even if I find a way out, it would probably be the death of me."

Severus stared at her, confused as well.

"Sev," Jolie swallowed and got ready for the worst, "I'm carrying Remus Lupin's child."

Severus was silent before he let out a soft grunt. "You're joking," he shook his head.

"Does it look like it's a joke, Severus?"

Jolie saw a muscle twitch in Severus' jaw. "No," he said hopefully, "That's impossible, it can't be true."

"Do you know better than Madam Pomfrey? She's the one who confirmed it, Sev. Please," Jolie begged, "I don't need you to be angry at me, or to be sad for me… I just need someone to give me some advice that will help me. Even just for a little. Help me, Sev. Please."

Severus sighed. He had never heard Jolie speak like this before. He always knew her to be the strong one, the one who knew what to do when problems came. And yet, there she was, asking for his help and asking for some comfort like a lost child. Severus leaned on the wall and sat down on the floor. He held out his hand to Jolie. She took it and then sat on the floor as well. "What do you want to do with the baby, Jo?" he asked.

Jolie 'tsk'ed before saying, "I dunno. The wisest choice is to keep it. But that choice is going to come with difficult conflicts and such."

"Does Lupin know about it already?"

"No. And I'm scared if he finds out. I dunno how I can keep this secret any longer. The baby's growing real fast since it has my genes of being a shape shifter. And being a werewolf as well."

Severus put a hand on Jolie's stomach. She was right. It was hard and getting round. It scared him a bit, but he didn't know why. "You can't be sure about the baby becoming a werewolf, you know. Not all werewolves who have off springs pass on their genes to their child."

"I hope so," sighed Jolie. "I've been feeling so lonely these days. It's a good thing we could finally talk like before."

"I'm sorry about what happened during the Valentines' Ball."

"Oh, don't mind that anymore. It's over," Jolie smiled.

"Jo… Since the baby's growing at a faster rate," asked Severus, "when do you expect it to come?"

"Around two months from now, I suppose. Why?"

"Well, I agree with you in keeping the baby. You can't give it up for adoption; it's not going to be a normal child. And I'm pretty sure you don't want to get it aborted."

Jolie chuckled, "Of course not. I wouldn't want that, yes. You know… you'd make a good father, Severus." Jolie smiled. "The woman who you'll marry will be a lucky one indeed. And, if ever you have a child yourself, that child would be having a brilliant father."

"I hope you're right about that," said Severus. "You can be my personal ego booster." Severus ruffled Jolie's side swept bangs playfully. "How old are you?" Severus abruptly changed the subject.

"Seventeen."

"Seventeen," he repeated, "A parent at seventeen."

"No," Jolie looked at him, "By the time the baby's out, I'll be eighteen."

Severus looked like he could've slapped himself. "Oh," he said, "you're turning eighteen tomorrow!"

"Yeah," Jolie waved an airy hand, "Not that it matters to me, though."

"No? Well it matters to me, Jo," Severus smiled.

Remus stepped out of the shower, still intrigued and disturbed about Jolie's strange behaviour a while ago. Is it PMs? Remus frowned as he asked himself.

He got into his clothes and ran a hand through his wet hair. When he entered the boys' dormitory, he saw that Lily was there, together with the other three Marauders.

"Hey, Moony," James said.

"Hey, James. Have you seen Jolie?" Remus sat on his own bed.

"No," James shook his head, and so did everyone else. "Why?"

"She went into the shower earlier and was acting a bit strange. It's like she's troubled or something… she said that she needs me and—"

"She went into the shower while you were using it?" Sirius interrupted.

"Yes, I was—"

"Naked." Sirius smirked. "I like this story, go on, Remus."

"Shut the bloody hell up, Sirius," Remus threw a pillow. "It's like she's got a big problem that she won't tell me."

Lily stiffened. "Oh, she's fine, Remus," she said, "I've spent a lot of time with her, she's—she's doing well."

"I'm seeing a different side of her," Remus said absentmindedly.

"So?" Peter asked.

"Well, it doesn't mean I don't love her anymore, okay?" Remus said defensively. "I do, I still do. I'll love her no matter what, that's for sure."

"Really?" Lily asked and Remus stared at her. There was a moment of awkward silence. Then Lily suddenly said, "When are you proposing?"

"Tomorrow," Remus smiled. "On her birthday."

"You sound very confident," Lily said.

"Well, I have no reason to not be confident, do I?"

Lily sighed. "No," she replied, "I guess not."

"Hey, Lily," James stood up, "Could you come with me downstairs for a while? I think I forgot my book back in the dungeons."

"Sure, James," Lily stood up as well and left the common room with James. As soon as they got out of the portrait of the Fat Lady, Lily stopped in her tracks, suddenly realizing something. "Wait a moment," she frowned, "you can't have forgotten your book. We haven't been using it since last week for Potions."

James stared at her and Lily took one step backwards. "You haven't forgotten anything—"

"Stop playing games, Lily," James said firmly. Lily had never heard him speak to her like this. "I know something is going on with my sister and I know that you know what it is."

Lily swallowed but didn't say anything.

"Please tell me, Lily," James softened up a little.

"It's not my secret to tell, James," she said slowly, "If you want to know so badly, why don't you ask Jolie herself?"

"Because I know she'd never tell me—"

"Jolie trusts me, James. I can't give away her secret, it's up to her if she wanted people to know."

James pushed his glasses up to his eyes, "I'm worried about her, Lils."

"Me, too," she replied.

"Even without you or her or anyone telling me, for that matter, I still have this feeling that it's something not so good."

Lily crossed her arms and shrugged. There was a moment of silence. All of a sudden, James frowned. "Do you… do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Listen."

Lily and James listened and they heard faint voices in the hallway. It sounded like two people talking, and the voices were familiar.

"It sounds like Jolie," Lily muttered.

"Who's she with? There's another voice—"

"I think it's Snape, James," Lily replied. Out of the blue, James rushed on, following the voices. Lily caught up with him, grabbed the back of his shirt and said, "Stop it, James. You should know by now that Jolie and Snape are good friends."

"You used to be the same with Snape, Lily," James answered, "Now, look at where the both of you are. Look at what he did to you."

"Enough. I know you really hate Snape, but he's changed. He's friends with Jolie and that's that."

"He's changed?" James turned to face Lily, "How can you be so sure, Lils? You haven't forgiven him."

Lily looked down at the floor and crossed her arms again. "I have," she shrugged as she admitted it, "it's just that I've been afraid to go and try to talk to him. Plus, I don't know if Snape could ever forgive me. I've been so persistent in not accepting his apologies that maybe, finally, he's gotten angry with me."

James held Lily's hand. "I just want to find Jo, Lily. Come with me. For real, this time."

Lily and James walked down the hallway hand in hand, following the voices. The voices of Severus and Jolie got louder and louder as James and Lily became closer and closer to finding them…

"…I'm going to make you its godfather, Sev," Lily and James heard Jolie say.

"It would be an honour," Severus chuckled, "Though I feel as if I'm not fit for it—"

"Yes, you are," Jolie insisted. "This baby's going to love you as a godfather."

James stiffened. "Baby?" he whispered to Lily.

"James—" Lily said hurriedly before James could find out about the truth, "We—we should go. It's not respectful to eavesdrop on other people's conversations—"

Severus laughed softly, "Did you feel that? It kicked."

"What?" Jolie laughed as well, "I didn't feel anything. You're joking, Severus Snape—"

"No, I'm not! Seriously, it did!" Severus said. "So, is it a boy or a girl?"

"I honestly don't know, to tell you the truth. I'm afraid to find out. I'm afraid to let anyone else find out. Only three people know about the baby, and it's Madam Pomfrey, you and Lily," said Jolie.

James' gaze snapped at Lily. "You knew about this?" he whispered.

"James—I said it's not for me to tell anyone—"

"But this is different, Lily, this is serious! Is Jo—"

Severus' voice interrupted. "I'll have to go, Jo. It's been nice talking to you again," he smiled at Jolie. "See you around. Take care," he kissed her forehead.

"Bye, Sev," Jolie replied, "See you, too."

James and Lily heard a pair of footsteps walking away. There was a short moment of silence before James finally turned back to Lily and asked his question. "Lily—please tell me the truth this time. Is Jolie pregnant?"

Lily opened her mouth to answer but then closed it again as she looked over James shoulder. Lily shook her head and mouthed, "I'm sorry," but she wasn't talking to James.

James looked behind him and saw that Jolie stood there, looking at Lily with a blank expression on her face, clearly taken by surprise. And then her gaze shifted to her brother. "James?" she said, "Have you been eavesdropping on me and Severus?"

"We just overheard some things," James said hurriedly. Jolie gave James a look before turning away and leaving. "Jo! Wait!" he rushed after her. "It's okay, it's okay," James caught her shoulder, "I know—"

"Oh, you know?" Jolie frowned. "Know what, James? That I'm pregnant? That I'm carrying your best friend's child and he knows nothing about it?"

James stared at his sister.

"Well, now you do," Jolie spat as she had her hands on her stomach. "Happy?" And then she faced Lily, "Thanks a lot, Lily," she said sarcastically. "I trusted you not to let anyone find out." Jolie shrugged off James' hand from her shoulder and then she walked away.

As soon as Jolie turned around a corner, James punched the air in anger and frustration. "Remus doesn't know?" he asked Lily exasperatedly.

Lily sighed and shook her head.

James took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I can't believe this. And now she's mad at us—"

"Please try to understand her first, James. She's pregnant. Not only that, but she's got a big problem on her shoulders. She doesn't know what to do."

"Well, why won't she ask people for advice?"

"For her to ask people for advice is to let people know about her condition, and that's something she doesn't want."

James and Lily looked at each other. "I feel really bad for her, James," Lily admitted. "And I feel as if I can't do anything good enough to help her—"

James embraced Lily. "We'll help her. Even if she doesn't want us to, because help is really what she needs right now."

"What about Remus?" Lily asked in a muffled voice.

"That's between him and Jolie. I don't want to interfere with that. Of course I feel guilty not telling my best friend, but like you said, Lily—this isn't my secret to tell."

"She's turning eighteen tomorrow, James."

"I know," James nodded. "I know. And we're not going to let anything ruin her birthday, are we?" he smiled weakly and looked at Lily.

Lily smiled back gently and nodded.

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