Dear Mum,

Thanks for sending over the box. I've only just had time to set aside an evening to go through it – being a Detective and Prefect and 4th Year Mentor and the Best Friend in the World to my many Best Friends can really be exhausting! It was good to look at that stuff again – it's been a few years. I always forget just how much I look like him.

Lans and I had a little tiff the other day, but it's all sorted now. She has a new fancy man and she is keeping him on the down low – I am dying to find out more! I am the General Supervisor for the Halloween Ball which is making me a nervous wreck – my mad mate Lily decided it was a good idea to give me more responsibility to try and combat my idiocy…. Hm!

You will be pleased to hear that I dumped Shepherd's Pie on a boy's head in the middle of the Great Hall – I felt your spirit flowing through my veins as I did it. You remember Sirius who came with Remus to collect me? Imagine him dripping in mince and potato.

Mrs. Lupin has promised gingerbread aplenty at Christmas so I am already counting down the days.

I miss you loads, mum. I hope you are finding lots of mad and fun things to do whilst I'm away. Looking forward to seeing you at Christmas!

I'll give you a full report on the Halloween Ball – if I survive it, that is….

Your anxiety-riddled-pie-dumping-boy-vanquishing Daughter,
Stef

People I Have Made-Up With:
- Em Vance
- Sirius Black (for the lipstick thing)
- Lana Diggory

People I Have Unresolved Issues With:
- Remus Lupin
- Sirius Black? (For the pie thing)

"Stefanie, I have a Slug Club scroll!"

The words every lady longs to hear her 4th Year BFF say.

"Hi, Ty!" Enthusiastic waving ensues – you know, mostly on my part. Well, only on my part. "Thanks, Ty! How is your lady friend?"

He blushes – what a sweetheart! And proceeds to tell me about their walk around the Lake the other evening; I let him know about the Dell, like the wonderful mentor and terrible Prefect I am.

"Don't tell anyone that I am leading you astray, Ty; they'll take my badge and I'll never talk to you again!"

He grins, "Was that supposed to be a threat?"

Cheeky little sod! I tell him that I passed on his observations to McG (anonymously) and that she was very grateful. He looks all bashful and proud of himself – I take this opportunity to sweep in and hug him.

"ARRGH, STEFANIE, GERROFF!"

"Accept my love, Ty! I am your big sister – this is what we're supposed to do, embarrass our little brothers!"

Ty reluctantly gives in, staring up at me balefully with his puppy dog eyes. "Can you stop now please?"

"Fine," I sigh, backing off and hearing a familiar barky laugh.

"She has a horrible habit of doing stuff like that, Ty. Stay away from her, when possible…"

"Hey, Sirius!" Ty's whole face lights up to see Black, leant against the banister of the staircase, smirking down at us. I am very relieved to have my little pal here because surely even Sirius wouldn't commit a violent murder in front of a poor little 14 year old… would he?

Sirius slopes down the stairs and ruffles Ty's hair, which probably just made the kid's year, and he slings an arm around my shoulder. I glare suspiciously.

Ty suddenly giggles, looking between us. "I saw what happened at dinner last night…. Pft!"

My little mentee is spluttering away with laughter so infectious that I can't help but grin too. Sneaking a look at Sirius, he appears to be laughing along with Ty. Wonders will never cease – am I actually going to make it to the end of this day alive?

"I got him good, didn't I? That is what happens to people who promote false rumors!" I poke Sirius for emphasis as I say this and Ty laughs even harder.

"Yeah, I knew that stuff about you two wasn't true. At first, I thought it was because Sirius was way too cool to date you. But now I'm definitely team Steffi-"

I whoop and scoop Ty into another hug. Yeeessssss! Team Steffi forever! I wonder how many other people I converted last night?

Sirius pouts jokingly at Ty, "I thought we were mates?!"

"But Steffi was totally cool last night – plus, she is my mentor."

I beam over at Sirius who looks greatly amused at this. "Ty, you are my favorite person in this whole castle, OK?"

He grins up at me and nods. "I'm going to tell everyone how cool you are…" He shoots a quick look at Sirius. "And how you're way out of Sirius' league!"

He looks wide-eyed over at Black, anxiously exhilarated that he just made a joke at his idol's expense. Sirius, the good sport that it turns out he is, advances over to us mock-menacingly.

"Ty, you had better not! Or else….."

Ty darts a few steps back, behind me and squeaks, "Or else what? I've got Steffi Hartmann on my team – you can't get me!"

Sirius attempts to dart around one side of me, whilst Ty runs in the other direction, resulting in Sirius simply knocking me to the floor with a splat.

"OOF."

"Oops, sorry, Steffi!" Sirius turns away from is pursuit of Ty up the staircase to stick out a hand and pull me up. Halfway up the stairs, Ty turns and lobs the Slug Club scroll at me.

"See you guys," He yells, and finally waves enthusiastically at us before darting away.

Sirius turns to me, a wide smile on his face. "That kid is bloody great."

"He learnt from the best. And… he would be super upset if his favorite mentor was killed in a Pie-Related-Revenge-Attack."

Sirius stares at me straight-faced but with an amused gleam in his eyes. He walks over to the staircase and sits on the steps before beckoning me over.

"No… is this an ambush?"

Sirius snorts, "No, you idiot. Come and sit with me, I promise not to murder or attack you."

Hmph. Just what a real murderer/attacker would say... Sirius pulls his wand out and rolls it over to my feet. I am still unimpressed by this.

"That doesn't rule out McG preferred method of brutality."

"What? Fisticuffs?"

I grin at him and mime a vicious right hook, before grabbing his wand off the floor and heading over to join him. I slip his wand into my robes and mime an 'oh no' gesture to him as I sit.

"I feel like I need insurance, something to ransom."

Sirius snickers and shrugs, "I thought I was doing exactly as you wanted – not being a sulky git. You're a hard gal to please, Harts."

Little does he know, I would sell my soul for the bargain of a Snickers bar, a can of Coke and I don't know… a puppy or something.

"Let me get this straight – I, Steffi Hartmann, dumped a plate of food on your head and you, Sirius Black, are fine with it."

"More than fine, I'm impressed!"

I shake my head; this boy is utterly absurd, grinning away at me for covering him with dinner. I don't really understand it, but it makes me grin too.

"Your potential as Partner-In-Crime just shot through the roof! And did I just hear you telling an innocent 4th Year to venture into the Forest? Very Marauders-ish of you!"

I smack his arm, "Sirius, do not tell anyone about that! Ty will be fine in the Dell!"

"Come on, Stef, you of all people know what creatures lurk in the Forest," He grins wolfishly at me, I smack him again.

"Remus does not roam around there whilst transformed, does he?"

Sirius shakes his head, snickering at my horrified tone. Then he looks at me speculatively and I get worried again. "So, you were telling McGonagall about something Ty saw?"

Sneaky little eavesdrop, did his mother never tell him it wasn't polite to listen in to other people's conversations? Probably not, to be honest, too busy with all the spreading of racial prejudice…

I shrug, "I really can't talk about it, Sirius. If I could, I would. I promise."

"OK."

Again, really? Just an 'OK' in response to not being told what's going on – who is this bloke?

I also don't know whether to talk to him about the rumors thing – whether to tell him to stop encouraging it. For once, Fenwick is getting to me. It's just that… well, I suppose this one is more believable than her usual stuff, judging from the reactions of even the people who know us. And so it's believable that I am this deluded, devoted, love-sick puppy that she is making me out to be.

That is about the worst thing I can ever imagine being.

I suppose what really needs to happen is I man up and stop caring. Of course, I wish Sirius wouldn't be so over-the-top about the whole thing but in general, I don't want him to modify his behavior on my account. The less moody thing is an improvement, OK? But to change his joking, sarcastic, pranking personality – I would never want to be the person to force that. So I try an old Stef Hartmann favorite tactic instead…

"Have you ever thought about having lessons?"

"No, lessons are boring and I'll skip 'em if I want. I still pass anyway – I'm very bright, Stef."

"Wait, are you ditching right now? Sirius! Ugh, anyway, what I meant was lessons in How to Have Platonic Female Friends."

Sirius wrinkles his nose at this thought, "Platonic Female Friends."

"Yeah, like me – I think you need to learn how to behave around me!"

"Well, according to most of the school, we are far from platonic…"

Third arm slap. He rubs his bicep and glares at me ruefully, "Fine, what do I do?"

I explain, or at least, attempt to explain that being so physical with female friends isn't always as acceptable as it is with male ones. I point out the arms around my shoulders, waist and the hands on my face and hair and the up-close-whispering. Sirius pouts.

"I don't want to stop doing those things. Those are the things that make you my friend, more than just being some random girl in my House – like Em or someone."

I sigh – I knew he wasn't going to get this concept. "But that's why it's so easy for Fenwick to spread this rumor – because most people don't do that stuff with friends of the opposite sex!"

Sirius looks at me, "So, you want me to stop so that the rumors die down?"

"No, I don't want you to change what you do because of Jane Fenwick. That would give her more power than she deserves. I was just saying, is all." I let it lie; there is no intent behind Sirius' actions. He's like a little kid or a puppy, just over-affectionate with those select few that he trusts enough. And I'm glad to be a part of that exclusive group.

So stuff Fenwick, I guess.

Yeah, she can take her rumors and stick them up her arse.

Well, we'll see how long this attitude lasts. I will probably be fuming over some new rumor by dinner time.

Rabastan and I sit together again in Slug Club, although there is no seating arrangement. Lily is with the 5th Year Ravenclaw Prefect, Mary, who seems to idolize Lily beyond even James-Potter level.

We start off just chatting about Quidditch, of course; I mention mine and Caradoc's Harpies fanclub. Rab turns his nose up at it, naturally, but enquires as to whether there are any other team fanclubs.

"Duh, I'm pretty sure there's a Portree one – oh, yeah there definitely is! We played them in my 5th Year!"

"You played Pride of Portree?" Rab, for such a cunning Slytherin you can be awfully dense.

"No, the fanclubs form a team and hold their own tournament at the end of every year - usually over April, May and June, once the school season is done. It's pretty informal and unorganized, because of exam time but it's so much fun."

Rabastan seems keen on the idea and I encourage him to go for it – although I hate when there are actual Quidditch players on the fanclub teams. Doc always makes me play (Chaser) because I'm the co-captain of the fanclub. But most other clubs put their school team players on, which results in me getting humiliated every year.

"Does anyone come and watch?"

"A few people, not very many though. My friends Remus and Peter always watch our Harpy games because I am guaranteed to fall off my broom at least once. Pomfrey is always put on standby for our matches!"

Rab laughs at this – turns out he knew me as Disaster Zone before we properly met too. I knew my rubbishness was something acknowledged school-wide, even though Marley kept trying to assure me otherwise. (Lana shaking her head behind Marley's back and laughing like an idiot was also a clue). He also says that he has heard of Remus and Peter; apparently the Marauders are a source of much mockery in the Slytherin Common Room which doesn't surprise me and would probably delight the boys. However, he had never heard of Lily before she became Head Girl. I think some of his cronies probably had though – a Mudblood being such good friends with Snape? I bet that didn't go unnoticed.

"What about Lana, did you know her before you were partnered up?"

Rabastan nods slightly, scanning the table for any remaining cocktail sausages (good luck, pal, but I'm pretty sure I hoovered up most of those bad boys). "Yeah, I had seen her around."

It is interesting to see how many of our Housemates the other isn't really aware of. Although Hogwarts is basically so small its non-existent, I don't know that many Slytherins. I know all of my own Housemates, most of Ravenclaw and Huffle too. But the main House rivalry is between mine and Rabastan's, I suppose and we really do keep out of each other's way.

I am distracted by a huge crash coming from the other side of the table and Sluggers sweeping his wand over a terrified-looking 4th Year. Shards of china float up around her and reassemble themselves into a plate and mug above her head.

"Dear me, Emily, this happened last time as well, if I recall! Luckily, you seem able to go without dropping your ingredients all over the place whilst brewing," Slughorn chuckles genially and gazes fondly at this Emily with a look I know very well.

Aha! I turn to Rabastan, having noticed Emily's green tie, and ask if he knows her. He informs me that it's Emily Greengrass – I ask if she's related to Donald and apparently they are first cousins. Then I explain the Danger Zone Protection League to Rab, who seems immensely confused by my plot.

Eventually, he seems to understand the concept although he still seems a bit bemused by my general hankering to protect accident-prone kids but goes along with it.

"So, will you help me look out for Emily?"

Rabastan chuckles, "Sure, what does that entail?"

I tell him that he should try to ensure that she isn't unfairly punished for any of her misdemeanors and that Prefects etc. don't blame her for other people's mishaps. I don't know if having her cousin as a Prefect makes him more or less likely to help her out. But I note to Rabastan that, despite being Deputy Ranger, James is likely to pin things on Slytherins so he should definitely keep an eye out for that.

Rab seems greatly amused by the whole plot and gamely agrees to go along with it. At the end of lunch, as we're leaving, we introduce ourselves casually to Emily. Not as her DZPL guardian angels, of course but just as fellow Slug Clubbers. Apparently, Sluggers had mentioned me to Emily anyway, so I'm sure she already feels like my protégé! I would ask her if she knows Ty, but she definitely wouldn't seeing as that isn't actually his name. (Note to self: Ask Ty what his name is, even if I keep calling him his much-loved nickname).

Oh, bloody bugger it. Remus is sitting in the empty seat again and I haven't thought at all about what I want to say to him…

I would sit somewhere else but I don't think there is a single free space, except where Remus used to sit by Fabian Prewett, which I don't need confusing me right now. Plus, as I wheel around looking for somewhere, I am shot some very rude warning glances which clearly say Keep-Your-Disastrousness-Away-From-My-Person, as if I can help the accidents that befall me!

So, I have to suck it up and sit with Remus, who (like the angel he is) give me a sweet smile as I sit down. Why can this guy just be a dick for once? It's like he is physically unable to be nasty, which just makes me feel even worse for snapping at him.

Although, making those jokes about Sirius was hardly nice of him. So I guess he can fall slightly short of perfect every now and then. Even if that was about the only instant I can recall in seven long years of friendship… Like I say, it just makes me look bad considering that in those seven years, I've never even come close to perfect.

Once McG is done babbling about whatever and has pointed us to some page in the textbook to make notes on, I turn to Remus.

"Sorry for being a moody cow, Remus, you just caught me at a bad time, you know? Post-Being-Given-The-Responsibility-Of-The-Whole-Ball is never a good time to suddenly switch up your whole personality and start making mean jokes."

Remus looks vaguely amused by my mixed-bag of an apology (people often look at me with amusement, usually when I am not even attempting to be funny). "Stef, I don't want to make you even madder but… I wasn't joking. I genuinely thought Sirius maybe was starting to like you. When I went back and told the guys about our spat, he explained to me why you were mad. That you think the whole school now views you as some hopeless Sirius devotee. I honestly was not making a joke in that line. I just… misinterpreted Sirius playing up to the rumor as something genuine."

His tone is placating and soothing, and if I wasn't trying to regain an old friendship then I would have listened to my Detective senses that were noticing a false note to his words. But, I was trying to be kind and fair, so I ignored it.

Also, I suppose I was partly blown away by the fact that apparently, after offending people boys go back and discuss it with their besties too. And Sirius Black sensitively explained to Remus why I was upset – he knew and he helped someone else to understand my annoyance. What is this world coming to? Of course, he doesn't heed his own advice and continues to give the school very weird signals about the extent of our relationship. But, I suppose it's fine as long as I don't let the gossip bother me – which I normally don't. After our conversation and very brief/failed etiquette lesson, I am confident that Sirius and I are on the same wavelength (that we're just friends) and now we've explained that to our friends too – that is all that matters, right?

Signs That You Are Actually Not OK With Rumors Being Spread About You and Sirius Black:
- Being put on Prefect Rounds with Jane Fenwick and it ending up in a screaming match/brawl in the corridor.

Steffi? My kindest, most loving and least-likely-to-murder-me friend?"

"Oh, God, what do you want, Potter?"

Peter, also writing the DADA essay at the other end of the couch, chuckles at my tone of voice; pure exasperation. Potter is truly the definition of 'exasperating'.

"Lily needs me to talk to the decorating team tonight, the external people. She has a Floo with them at 9.00 and she says I have to prepare for it with her and help her talk to them… So, someone else will be doing rounds with you tonight."

Bloody Evans, she just wants to spend more time with her little crush. She probably can't wait to be all cozy on the hearth together…

"Fine, who did you coerce into risking their lives patrolling with me?"

"Um… Jane Fenwick?"

"WHAT?! NO. Potter, I am not spending an evening with that poisonous bitch! Why would she agree to this?"

"I suspect she wants an opportunity to torture you about Pads and extract some new rumor material." Peter suggests, oh-so-unhelpfully.

I groan into my hands, "Is there nothing I can do to get out of this? Can't the other Ravenclaw go with her and we'll do their round together, whenever it is?"

James explains that the other Raven has Quidditch practice, and Fenwick's original patrol falls on the night I've arranged to meet with the entertainment committee for the Ball, so no can do.

I vow to have revenge on Evans and Potter for this. Making me, their beloved friend, suffer in order for them to canoodle by the firelight? It is an utter disgrace and an abuse of friendship.

"You're going to meet her at 8.30 by the statue of Anne Boleyn on the 3rd Floor. Try not to have this end with a Stunner, as amusing as your last close encounter with her was – Lils would kill me."

I'll skip the hour of awkward silence and get straight into the yelling because, to be honest, it was spectacular.

And it did end with a Stunner, but I may not have come off so well without Cissy to help me out.

"Look, Fenwick, I don't want a fight," Famous last words. "But can you just stop spreading shit about me for once in your life? Why did this even start? What did I ever do to make you target me so viciously?"

OK, so I have already veered into the accusatory tone despite claiming I wasn't here for a fight. I have become rather confrontational of late – long gone are the days of my witty-quip-and-quick-escape tactics.

"Well, I happen to think there is an awful lot of truth in what's going around at the moment…"

"That's completely irrelevant, Fenwick – even if there was something going on between me and Sirius, it wouldn't be your business or anyone else's!"

"You don't think his many ex-girlfriends and current admirers should know that you are making some, frankly, embarrassing plays at him?"

"No, literally why would those girls need to know if I was interested in him? Anyway, weren't you at dinner the other night? I may not be the best at flirting, but I'm pretty sure people don't tend to chuck their dinners at people they are supposedly crazily in love with."

Fenwick snorts and doesn't reply. Because she can't, seeing as what I have just said makes absolute, irrefutable sense. We lapse back into awkward silence again as we carry on walking. But, I really am a changed woman, I want an answer to my question. Why me?

When I demand an answer, Fenwick looks surprised by my sudden outspokenness but doesn't immediately respond. She just picks up the pace, charging ahead of me and acting all superior. Until she stops and wheels around to face me with a pretty darn terrifying expression.

"You don't bloody understand – the whole of Hogwarts doesn't just gossip about you. Everyone gets bitched about, their private lives discussed – everyone has a reputation!"

Well, of course I know that. I just seriously don't think that anyone has as much shit circulating about them as I do, thanks to her. I am about to pitch in with this when she dives back into her vitriolic, hissed rant.

"Everyone has rumors made up about them and most of us are normal fucking people – we hear about them and we feel little and small and insignificant. How big-headed are you, Hartmann? You only ever listen when it's about you! And even then, you don't give two fucks about what people are saying. How arrogant do you have to be to just disregard everyone's opinion of you, Jesus! So if this rumor about Black is finally making you embarrassed then thank God, and I will carry it on and humiliate you. You are so full of it, Hartmann!"

Well. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

I mean, I can be labelled a lot of unpleasant things but arrogant? I would never have thought that – which, I dunno, is that a sign of arrogance? Oh, God. Also, Fenwick has massively underestimated her impact on me – no, I don't care what people think about her dumb rumors (well, up until this one that is) but they do wear me down.

Oh, Merlin. Am I an arrogant bitch?

"Fenwick, that is… shit. It's just shit. None of that, most of it blatantly untrue anyway, gives you a right to hurt me! And what you said at the end? Bloody Hell, that is psychotic!"

Maybe I should have stuck with my own tactics and just run when she had finished berating me. Because she was mad when she finished that speech, but she is shaking with rage at this point and has drawn her wand and –

The next thing I know, the sensation of a sharp brief tingling sensation in the back of my throat which signals that someone has just renervated me. Which also means that someone must have stunned me – no prizes for guessing who cast that spell. But who has embarrassingly found me collapsed in the middle of the corridor?

Ah, of course, just to make my day a little bit more humiliating (seriously, why does Fenwick think I need any more of that in my life?), it is Gideon Prewett.

He looks very concerned, "Steffi, are you OK?"

"Ugh, yeah – nothing damaged except my dignity but of course, it's not as if that was exactly intact before…"

Gideon chuckles and goes to pull me up but changes his mind, pulling his hand back and instead sitting down on the flagstones next to me. "What happened? You didn't…stun yourself on accident did you?"

Oh God – I don't know what is worse, that he thinks I could do such a dumb thing or the fact that I actually might do such a dumb thing….

I explain briefly what happened – that I confronted Fenwick about her spreading crap about me and Sirius and how she went nutty on me. I didn't repeat her rant, because…well, I don't want anyone to confirm it. I am so worried I will tell someone about it, all outraged and they'll go "Well yeah, Stef, but to be honest she has a point…"

Gideon looks surprised by my story and suggests telling McG about it, a suggestion which I reject quickly. It would just make things ten times worse with Fenwick, I know. But he also seems curious about something else.

"'Spreading crap', really? I honestly believed that one and I don't usually fall for Fenwick's stuff."

He's talking about me and Sirius – I had thought he was joking about Sirius not being able to keep his hands off me before, but I also made that assumption with Remus and look how that turned out. It seems Gideon had misinterpreted us too.

I quickly explain about Black's inability to behave appropriately and his twisted desire to encourage Fenwick's rumors. Gid seems to accept this explanation for it all. I try not to think again about why I didn't go to Hogsmeade with him, because it's pretty frustrating how I can't think of any valid reasons. And it is way too late to explore that avenue again – you can't ask someone out, letter-reject them and then ask them out again.

"Hey, so I heard you're the supervisor of Ball preparation?" Gid grins at me as we walk back. It's after curfew but we should be protected by my Prefect status. He had been watching his brother's Quidditch training, partly as a supportive twin and partly as a Gryff spy.

I confirm that I am living out my nightmare and am responsible for the Halloween Ball.

"So, there will definitely be the Wanderin' Wolves as live entertainment, right? And a real-life mummy present? And Celestina Warbeck is dancing with the Puddlemere captain as the opening dance?"

"See, Gid, I know you are joking with these unrealistic and impossible expectations, but my heart doesn't and is beating about a million times faster due to Prewett-induced stress."

He laughs loudly at this and then, ugh and then, he smiles, "It's nice to hear I can have an effect on your heart, Steffi."

Ooh, Merlin, he is good.

AN: Hey :)))) a few big moments in this chapter... let me know what you think!

Love hearing from you all

Elle xoxo