oxo…oxo

Step inside the mind of Kaoru.

Why is it that every time something goes right in my life I have to put my stupid foot in it?

Stupid Renege. Stupid me. Stupid karma. Stupid everything. After Yuki had run away I had just stood there, frozen and unbelieving. But then, I shook myself out of it and went to run after her but was stopped by a soft hand on my arm. Looking down I saw Haruhi, her chocolate coloured eyes staring down the corridor.

'Haruhi?' I had asked her. The brunette had looked up at me with hard eyes.

'She knows I'm a girl right?' she had asked me. I had nodded. 'Then let me go to her. She will be too upset to talk to you at the moment I think…' she had said to me before she tore off down the hallway faster than I had ever seen her run before.

I watched her go sadly. What had I done now? Walking back into the club room I collapsed into a chair. Thankfully, Renege had gone. She had obviously decided it best to leave me alone. It was probably a good thing though I knew it wasn't her fault really. She couldn't have known that Yuki was behind the door.

The host club was silent, watching me self destruct with worried eyes. I looked up at them then at Hikaru who was still staring at me in horror. I closed my eyes. I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to leave.

Getting up again I walked briskly to the door and out into the hallway. This time Hikaru didn't follow me. In some ways I was glad though in others I was disappointed. I needed company but I needed to be alone. I needed someone to talk to but I needed silence at the same time. It was infuriating.

What was I going to do now? After this I knew she would never trust me again. She would be a fool to do so. And yet I found tears falling from his eyes at the thought. I despaired at not being able to talk to her anymore. Silently, I cursed myself for thinking such things. Its not liked I loved her or anything right? I'd be able to live with out her right? Like before? As if nothing had happened?

Don't kid yourself Kaoru. It's the only one you are kidding. I told myself sadly. I'd never be able to go back the way things used to be. I liked her too much, love or not. She was a good friend of mine and I didn't want to let her go.

I wiped my eyes in annoyance. I wouldn't let myself cry anymore. It wasn't going to help. I could only hope that Sunday would give her the time to think about things and that she would be ready to talk to me on the Monday.

Maybe.

It was a big maybe though. I couldn't have afforded making her distrust me again at such an early stage. I sighed as I walked towards the limo. Getting inside I rested my head against the back of the seat I groaned.

'No Hikaru sir?' the driver asked me and I looked up.

'He might be coming. Give me a sec.' I told him before getting my phone out and texting my brother.

Are you coming? Or are you getting a lift with someone?

I asked him. A few minutes later I got the reply.

I'm getting a ride with the boss.

'We can go.' I told the driver who pulled away immediately. I stared out of the window in thought. It was always so soothing to look out of the window like this and just think. I loved it. It was so relaxing and had soon clamed my mind. I watched the scenery as it passed me by, all a blur of colour and shape.

I sighed. I suppose the world can't be perfect. Some will be good and others bad. I would have to try and embrace the good things and learn from the bad. The only thing I could hope for now is that Yuki would trust be again and that something good may come from our relationship.

Whether it be just friendship or love.

oxo…oxo

I hope you enjoyed this! Now comes the hard part… I have to figure out what to do! Oh no! -_-'

Please review!