Chapter 11

After they'd managed to drag Willard- who'd gotten to be a nervous wreck- into the lifeboat, row to shore, and become terribly lost, the group found themselves stuck by the coast. Night was only an hour or so away and they were stranded. So, they did the logical thing went to the one place that would always offer help to the weary traveler: a gas station.

The middle aged man behind the counter looked at the four teens with apprehension. His eyes lingered over Willard, who looked close to a mental breakdown. "Uh, can I help you?"

"Yeah," Xander walked up to the counter. He was slightly irritated from his travels so far and couldn't keep it out of his tone. "Where are we?"

The short, rotund man appeared even more perplexed after the question was asked. "Uh, Duxbury, Massachusetts."

"Duxbury," Dani repeated blankly from where she stood by the chips, "I think I know where we are now."

"You do?" He was surprised. "Where are we?"

Her eyes were shadowed by an impassive darkness for a moment. "Nowhere fun," Dani scoffed. "What I don't know, Cowboy, is where the heck we're actually going."

"Cambridge."

Dani asked critically, "Cambridge? Why do you think Echidna is in Cambridge?"

"I, uh…" Xander mumbled. He didn't want to seem odd because he had learned it in his dream.

"A man's dreams are the gateway to his soul," Rose murmured, shrugged, and headed to the food aisle. Xander's eyes widened. What is she, a mind reader?

Dani rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, speak in riddles." She had apparently dropped the subject, though, so Athena's son was grateful.

Xander returned his attention to the register. "Sir, we'd-" He groaned. Willard was at the counter, speaking smoothly to the dull-eyed clerk in a British accent.

"I'm in a real fix, you understand. There's a posh bar just down the street with better quality stock, but I thought I would grace your humble little rest stop with my purchases. Of course, if you aren't willing to lower the price a bit for a Queen's knight…" The short man stammered his apologies and waddled quickly about the store. He returned with arms full of alcohol.

"Which is your preference, sir?" It was almost creepy how eager he was to give a teenage boy alcohol.

Willard drummed his fingers and considered. "I'd like to sample a couple of those ales." He grabbed a can from a six-pack and downed it in half a minute. Then another, and another, and another… Xander watched the whole thing with a dropped jaw. "Good groundling. My apologies, I don't believe that this…water is to my tastes." Willard's words had begun to slur after gods knew how many beer cans, though it was significantly less prominent than usual. "May I have the great honor of buying this deep-country swill, or shall I leave you penniless in favor of your competition on the other block?" The clerk nodded emphatically and handed Willard bottle after bottle of Strawberry Hill, which the seventeen-year-old carefully tucked into his backpack until it was full to bursting.

"How are you gonna pay for all this?" Xander hissed under his breath.

"Watch and learn, my fine fellow." Athena's son decided then and there that Willard's grin was one of the scariest things he'd ever seen.

The drunkard filled a complimentary cloth sack with "swill" of a different kind. Then, for good measure, he tucked three wine bottles under his arm.

"Thank you for your business, sir. Please come again." Without slipping the cashier a single coin, Willard walked out of the store, humming.

The little man's eyes refocused and he bobbed his head at Xander. "What were you saying you needed?"

"A better teammate," Xander growled, rolling his eyes. He dug into his backpack and pulled out a small wad of wrinkled up cash. He threw down the meager amount onto the counter. "Get food," he called over his shoulder to the girls as he stormed out of the store.

Xander approached Willard, clearly irritated. "Really? A knight? In the middle of Duxbury?"

Willard overturned a bottle, shook it to make sure it was empty, pouted, and tossed it to the side. He popped the second cork. "It's a skill, mate. A game, really. If you think of it as a game, you're more sure you're less likely to lose something, right? As Nietzsche said- but what does a layman like you care what Nietzsche said? Anyway, great alcoholic, he was. Great man, I mean, great philoso- philo- ph- thinker guy dude person guy, him. Shoulda met Socrates. They'd've had a blast, the lovelies. There's a whole song about 'em, wanna hear it? No? One of those that's gotta wait till nighttime for revelry, eh?" He hooted and cackled in a slurred accent that was reminiscent of Xander's, nursing his bottle.

The fourteen-year-old leaned his head back, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Of all of the half-bloods in the world, it had to be him.

"Look, Willard, ya can't just do…that to people. Whatever that was. It ain't right. Not to mention ya shouldn't be drinking so much. You're, what, sixteen?" Xander bent over and counted at least seven bottles poking out of Willard's backpack and didn't even bother with whatever took space in the extra sack. "This will make you go blind!"

"Aw, you do care! Some of those are for later, Xanny. Xander Xan Xanny Xan. My soberishness from before isn't what you want, is it? No useless lump now, no no no. I'm a person again! We all deal with being- HICCUP- people, yeah? You treat your symptoms, but I have my cure. Works well enough- just got a few effects on the side side effects. This-" he held up his bottle- "is not an illness. Nooo plagues here. It's a- HICCUP- cure."

Because the outcome of Xander's last fight with Willard was still evident on his face, Xander determined that further argument wouldn't get him anywhere. Dani and Rose emerged from the building, their arms filled with provisions. Xander could only shoot them an exasperated look and gesture at Willard.

"Wow. That is some talented lying." Dani remarked as she surveyed the scene. "I'm actually kind of impressed."

"Yeah, he's an excellent con artist," Xander muttered sarcastically, "but he can't walk now. Not in this condition." They all ignored the "CAN TOO!" exclaimed in the background.

Dani shook her head. "We definitely don't want to walk. Cambridge is too far away. It would take too long and it's getting dark. What we really need is a..." Dani's voice trailed off as her eyes locked onto something to her right. When Xander followed her gaze he saw the object of her mischievous attentions. Parked right in front of the door was the only vehicle in the lot. "How gullible do you think that guy at the counter really is?" She asked slyly.

"No," Xander blurted. He could see what her plan was now. "No, no, no, no!"

"Aw, what's wrong, Cowboy?" Dani asked in a sugar-coated tone and pinched his cheek. "You didn't actually think lying and drinking were the worst someone could do, did you?"

~O~O~O~

We're all caught up now! That means the fun is about to begin, because ladies and gents, you are coming to our favorite arc so far- The RV Chronicles! *rubs hands and cackles maniacally (… x2)*

~Rachel and Monica