((So I'm giving y'all an update real quick but knowing me it wont be quick at all. 1, I have had most of the following chapters written for a long time but wanted to upload them with a schedual so I don't fall behind and blah blah that didn't work. I am not going to upload pretty much every chapter I have written at once so be prepared for a lot of reading if you are one of those awesome people that will read all of the updates. If you aren't that's ok because neither am I.
2, Almost all of these were written on either my phone or my ipad so if there is a word that doesn't make sense at all I blame ato correct and I would appreciate it if you told me where it was so I could fix that little thing but you don't have to, it's cool.
3, every chapter I uploaded so far has gotten at least one person asking when the nepkat was really going to start. My answer to that is I'm pretty sure i warned you all this was gonna be a very long story and it still is so with the chapter I am currently writing which is probably number 26-30 (i put future chapter i havent lead up to yet in one doc file for now so I'm not sure of the number sorry) and she is only just then realizing she likes Karkat so you have a little bit of waiting to do ok? Also, just by the way, it's a bit annoying to get those comments asking and every time you ask, I tend to make it take just a tiny bit longer because I am thatperson. Just a warning.
4, Holy crap I took waaaaay to long with this A/N so sorry for that and yes most of these chapters are pretty damn long so sorry for that to. But hey I don't leave you hangin' to often at least. Ok enjoy the story if you want to))
I slowly open my eyes. Holy shit, how long was I sleeping? I don't recognize any of this.
I sit up straight and Gamzee slides against the wall of the car we are leaning against.
His head lands on my arm, I guess we were each others support.
I observe every one in the car. Nepeta holding onto Sollux in a corner with his arms around her.
Eridan in the other corner, curled up in a sad little ball.
I slowly move away from the wall, careful not to let Gamzee wake up, and open up my backpack.
I pull out my headphones but pause. Nepeta's bag is open and there is a note book sticking out of it.
I can't help it. Curiosity killed the Karkat. I pull it out and start flipping though it.
Holy shit. This is amazing, and I don't mean when you see your friends work and say it's awesome but in your head you see problems or something. No, this is insane. Amazing sketches with details everywhere, amazing shadowing, insanely real. It's mostly of the outside of shops, or views of trees.
"Karkitty?" Nepeta asks, I turn around to see her rubbing her eyes and looking adorably confused.
Wait, did I just say adorably? Whatever. Just a fact. You can't blame me for stating a fact.
"Is that my sketch book?" She asks. Shit, I bet I wasn't supposed to touch it.
"Uhh.." Shit what do I say. "I'll put it back." I say quickly. "Hang on." She stops me.
She is still half asleep but she crawls over, considering no one can move around in here without being on their hands and knees, I'm calling it a crawl. She scooches close and sits.
Why am I still on edge? She takes the book from me and flips to a certain page.
"These are new." She says and passes the book back. "Damn Nep." They are pictures of us.
All of us. "Did you draw us while we were sleeping?" I ask. I mean, Eridan is in the same position now as in the sketch of him. Sollux to. And then I guess this one is me and Gamzee from a minute ago. "Yeah. You're all so cute." She answers. "Heh, what about you miss cat girl?" I reply.
Aw fuck! Why did I say that? "Hehe. Thanks. Oh, and this is Terezi, it probably matches her still." She says and flips to another page. The other pictures were smaller and all fit on to the one page since it is so big. Once she flipped to the next one I see the one of Terezi, then I look at her.
Yup, sleeping just like this. On the other half of the page there is Feferi, but since she is awake she is smiling for the picture. I guess we were sleeping for a while if Nepeta could wake up, draw all of us, and then go back to sleep. I'm still tired. Then again, waking up is the worst thing all the time because you still feel tired since your brain isn't fully functioning yet.
"These are freakishly amazing." I say. "Thanks." She replies and smiles.
She still looks so sleepy, it's fucking cute. I flip to the next page and see a big picture of just me, still sleeping but she set it up so it is just my waist and up and Gamzee isn't in it. Except for his shoulder since that is what I was leaning on. She made me look awesome.
Next page and it is Sollux, a full body picture but still a much bigger and better one then before.
"You should put yourself in a picture for once, if you could that is. You look like a baby kitten when your sleeping." Wait. Another thing I wish I didn't say! I don't even know!
I am literally not thinking about anything before it comes out of my mouth.
"Thank you. But it is hard to draw yourself. I have to see what I'm drawing." She replies.
"I would do it for you but I can't draw for crap. I can sing pretty well though." I say.
"Really? Sing something for me!" She asks and shifts her position. I do to, we are now both sitting cross-legged and facing each other. "Not gonna happen." I reply. "Purrleeeeaaaasssee!" She begs.
Then she uses the best puppy dog face in the world, but I guess for her it's a kitty cat face.
"Maybe when we get back." I say. "But there is a guitar at the house if that's what your worried about." She is persistent "There is?" I ask. "Yeah, in a closet down stairs I think. Fefurry told me when she found out I like to sing." She answers. "You sing?" I ask. "Yeah. If I find a song that fits how I am feeling then I record it. It's kind of like a diary." She explains with a smile.
"Hm.. I'm still not singing for anyone." I continue. She starts pouting and I start chuckling. "Don't laugh." She snaps and pushes my shoulder, making me rock backwards. I come riiight back up and we both start laughing.
"We're almost there guys." Feferi says. Oh shit I forgot she could hear us! Wait, almost there, already? I look out the window, it is sun set. Damn. I look back at where Nepeta was, but she is now waking up Sollux. She is still on the hands and knees position, straddling on of his legs, using her right hand to pat his face and her left hand as support.
He wakes up and smiles at her. "Welcome to the awake world." She says softly and give him a peck.
"That'th not how you wake thomeone up." He says just as calmly.
"Thith ith!" He finishes and rapid fire tickles her. Her loud laughter wakes everyone else up.
"Alright! Another motherfucking tickle fight!" Gamzee says and jumps into the 'fun'
"I wanna play to!" Terezi says and climbs into the back with us, she walks on her knees over to Nepeta. She pulls her away from Sollux, Gamzee and Eridan start their own tickle fight as well.
"Get your own cat girl!" Sollux yells. "No! She's mine!" Terezi shouts.
"Oh my god" Nepeta laughs. She starts gasping for air as she screams her laughter out.
Her breathing quickens, does she have asma or something?
"Let her breath for fucks sake." I say bluntly. Terezi tares her vision away from Sollux, who she was keeping at bay with her foot in his face, and looks at me. Then down at Nepeta.
She snickers and gets off of her. I look at Nepeta as she regains her breath, eyes closed and a giant smile on her face like before. She is blushing the slightest bit, which makes it so much harder to look away. I don't see why I would need to. The smile on her face fades to a smaller one and she puts her arms above her head, keeping her elbows bent so she doesn't push me.
Once she finishes stretching she lays there, her relaxed eyes looking over at Sollux who is smiling back at her. I can't remember the last time I saw him enjoy someone's company this much.
It's been forever since he has dated. Actually, he hasn't been with anyone since Aradia went into her coma. I don't really blame him. I get lost in thought as she looks out the windows, then to the front where Feferi still is of coarse, and then up at me. Wait. Fuck. I just got caught staring.
"Karkitty?" She asks. "Huh? Oh uh, yeah?" I ask as I snap out of my thoughts.
"Ff said we're here." Sollux says. Fuck. I didn't even notice we stopped!
And even worse, I didn't just get caught staring, I got caught while lost in though about who knows what for all they know. "Oh. Cool." I reply and turn to my backpack, maybe if I don't look at them they wont see my blush. We all grab our stuff and climb out of the car.
"Thorry you had to drive the whole way." Sollux says to Feferi.
"I don't mind. I like driving!" She replies. She opens the door for everyone and I have to say. It is a normal beach house, I was expecting something stupid considering how rich she must be.
When you first walk in you are pretty much in a wall-less hallway by how the furniture is arranged
To the right there is a couch with it's back to the pathway, a coffee table in front of it and 2 chairs, one on each side of the couch. To the left is the kitchen that has a big breakfast bar and behind it are all of the normal kitchen things. Counters going across the entire wall and fridge and shit.
To the back is a set of stairs that leads to a long hall way going somewhere I can't see from here, probably all of the bedrooms. Behind the stairs there are sliding glass doors.
We walk up the stairs and Feferi steps in front of us all. "Ok, so there aren't enough rooms for everyone so some of us are gonna have to room together." She says.
"Dibs on Nepeta!" Terezi shouts and grabs her arm. Nepeta giggles in reply.
"Eridan? You can room with me." Feferi says happily. "Ok." He replies.
"How about you and me room together best bro?" Gamzee asks and putts an arm around me.
"Fine whatever. Just don't touch me." I answer and swat this hand to get him to let go.
We all separate into our rooms. Sollux is the lucky bastard that gets a room to himself..
I throw my bag on my bed and flop down next to it. It's weird how you can be so tired even after hours upon hours of sleep. Whatever I guess. We sort of lounge in our rooms for a little while.
Until Feferi comes knocking on the door. "Hey! We're going to make a fire outside. Come out when you can!" She says and walks off. We head outside, to the back porch and sit on one of the benches out there.
"Now, kk. How about you explain what'th been up." Sollux says as I sit down.
"You can't ask something more pleasant?" I reply. "No. No I can't." He answers.
I look away and scratch the back of my head. I see, out of the corner of my eye, Nepeta looking away as well. She knows it had something to do with Kankri...
"Nep?" Eridan asks her. "Hm?" She asks. Still not looking at any of them. What a shitty liar.
"You know thomething?" Sollux asks. "Why would I?" She asks in reply and looks at him.
"You do look like you know something." Feferi chimes in. "I smell nerves" Terezi says.
"Nope. I just saw something over there. I think it was a lizard." She replies.
I look over at where she was looking, just like everyone except for Sollux who just glances in the direction. Gamzee gets up and walks over to the wall of the house. "I found it!" He says and squats down, picking up a little lizard.
So she makes it obvious she is hiding things but she is good at making up excuses.
"Told you!" She giggles. Sollux didn't take his eyes off of her the entire time and had the same odd look on his face. "Well how about we brighten this mother fuckin' mood a bit? It's to serious and shit." Gamzee says as he sits back down with the lizard climbing up his arm.
Nepeta ends up taking it away when it gets in his hair. And we continue being these stupid fuckers until it gets real late. Then we head inside and I start to think about her request for me to sing. The only thing I really can sing is 'Don't you dare forget the sun' and nobody wants to hear that loud piece of shit. And also the one thing I wrote. There is no way in hell I would let them hear that. But now I can't stop repeating the lyrics in my head. I lay on the bed wide awake and start humming the tune. Damn it. I get up and head downstairs, looking for the closet Nepeta mentioned with the guitar.
They are all in their rooms, probably sleeping, so I have to be quiet for this. I find the guitar in the dark closet and walk outside. There is a set of stairs out here leading to the roof. Why not? I tretch up and sit down, letting my legs hang off. After a few minutes of silence I start strumming the guitar part in the beginning.
/listen/bwtm
When I go on the parts saying there are reasons, I remember what Kankri said. Having to watch the world around me die, that's everything I've been through. Sure, it's not like I have had the worst life in the world. But it sure as hell feels like it sometimes.
All of my emotions poured out when writing it. And if I'm right, is coming out now by the look on my face.
"When I tell myself that this is all my fault..." I hate that line. It fits. And it's good. But...
I do blame myself. For pretty much everything. There are so many things I could have stopped from happening if I knew. But I didn't do anything... When it is finished I lay back for a few minutes to think. There was one thing that confused me.
I blame myself for mom dying, there is Kankri and his reasons, the other stupid things I fucked up. I really do brake promises sometimes. The guilt of things like that can eat me up sometimes. When the person I promised finds out I broke it they are so heart broken. It doesn't seem fair.
But to get to the point. I believe in everything I said in that song. But what the fuck was that one line?
"The stars have gone dark and I'm shaking. No questions why I deserve anything." I don't get it.
How can I write something I don't understand? It just felt right... Like I knew what I was saying, the same way I did with every other line. I just don't get it...
((Not my song! I just really really love it))