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LORD OF THE RING : THE DESIRE SERIES, FIRST BOOK, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

CHAPTER XII : Words of Fire

[Malrin knows that she is bound, in some way, to the One Ring of Power that could bring back Sauron. The Fellowship of the Ring goes through Moria because of Saruman's spies. Malrin realizes that she doesn't just have visions caused by the Ring – but also glimpses of the future. Chased by the orcs that have settled in Moria, they run away only to be attacked by a Balrog. They manage to escape Moria but at a heavy price: Gandalf has fallen, Legolas is hurt and with Malrin, they are separated from the rest of the Fellowship. After being saved from an orcs' attack by the elves of Lothlórien, Legolas collapses from the poison.]

I quickly went to Legolas' side, putting my hand on his forehead and checking his wound.

"He is just exhausted – and feverish, but nothing to worry. Though I would love to take care of his wound and poisoning, now," I said, staring right into Lord Haldir's eyes.

"Legolas Thranduilion will go to our infirmary at once," Haldir said, making a sign to two elves who moved to take Legolas, "As for the rest of you, your fate will be decided by Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel."

"Wait! I'm going with him!" I exclaimed, standing up and pointing at Legolas.

Haldir threw me a hard gaze which froze me on the spot.

"Let it be clear, Malrin of Imladris, the only reason I sent elves to risk their lives against a group of orcs to rescue you is because Legolas Thranduilion, the prince of Mirkwood, was in danger. He is in good hands that will heal him and purge him from poison. As for you…"

He narrowed his eyes disdainfully, and I swallowed hard and clenched my fists. I didn't want to leave Legolas alone in some foreign place, even if it was elvish. Especially when his injury was because of me and that he was in such a bad shape because I couldn't keep us safe from the orcs. I felt as if Lord Haldir knew all of that and was judging me from risking the life of an elven prince. As if I wasn't feeling guilty enough on my own…

"Do not think I haven't heard of you, Golden Lady. The Lady bound to the darkness of the Ring of Power."

I stopped breathing and lowered my head as Aragorn put a hand on my shoulder.

"Legolas will be safe," he told me in a reassuring voice.

I was sure of it, but I was still terribly scared for him. After spending an entire day taking care of him and his injury, I didn't want to let anyone touch him. I wanted to follow Legolas despite what Lord Haldir had to say, but he had clearly warned me that my presence wasn't desired. Rumors spread fast in Middle Earth. And I was a danger.

I saw the elves take away Legolas and despite my heavy, guilty heart, I followed the rest of the Fellowship. Pippin smiled at me to cheer me up and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Since when do you call us 'boys'?" He asked me in a low voice, though I was pretty sure everyone was listening.

After the stress, worry and panic of Moria, Legolas' injury and the orcs, I couldn't help but laugh, jerking my head backwards. I had to take a break and wipe away a laughing tear from my eyes.

"I don't know, I just decided it'd fit you!" I said, chuckling again.

He smiled innocently and we kept climbing. My heart was much lighter now that I had the joyful Hobbits around me, though we were still all heavy with sorrow after the loss of Mithrandir.

We walked up a winding stairway carved from the giant, white-trunk of a mallorn trees. Many elves of Lothlórien were watching us from balconies, all beautiful and blond. As I passed, many whispered to themselves, watching me with a mix of curiosity, worry and… desire. I had seen this light in many gazes over the years, the way elves, or Men, would look at me, as if I was some sort of jewel they wanted for themselves and show the world. As if I was some sort of object they could use for their own prestige and power. I quickly looked away from these elves. I had spent so much time with the Fellowship that I had forgotten how the rest of the world was seeing me: a pretty, golden-haired lady whose possession would bring admiration from others.

We arrived in a grand court, which had some leaves on the floor. I looked up as a light emerged from the top of stairs. I was blinded a moment by the intense glow coming forward, but then I noticed two silhouettes, descending the stairs slowly, peacefully, to approach us. My mouth fell open in admiration at the beauty and the power that Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel were emanating. She was called the Lady of Light, but I had never imagined her to be so… bright, so powerful and beautiful. But as I stared in awe at her peaceful traits, something ticked me. She was beautiful, but it was a distant, cold beauty, so powerful and intense that you couldn't help but feel trembling. I only wanted to kneel in front of her and after knowing what the Ring was capable of, I shivered in fear. I had read that Lady Galadriel had a Ring of Power herself, Nenya.

My line of thoughts was cut by Lord Celeborn who spoke up:

"The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone."

He stared at each of us one after another before continuing:

"Eight that are here yet ten there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me where are Legolas and Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with the latter. I can no longer see him from afar…"

Lady Galadriel looked straight at Aragorn before something appeared in her eyes, understanding why they were absent – and I guessed that the sorrow that crossed her face was for Mithrandir…

"Legolas Thranduilion has suffered many injuries to come here. As for Gandalf the Grey… He did not pass the borders of this land. He has fallen into Shadow…"

For a moment, Lord Celeborn looked too astonished to even consider the possibility of Mithrandir's death – and I guess none of us had really realized it either.

I swallowed before speaking up, attracting the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien's attention on me.

"Mithrandir was taken by both Shadow and flame. A Balrog of Morgoth. For we went needlessly into the net of Moria…" I said sorrowfully.

Some sort of compassionate kindness lit up in the Lady's eyes before she answered me:

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his full purpose."

She turned towards Gimli who was looking down, focusing on the ground and his axe.

"Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin. For the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands love is now mingled with grief."

Upon these words she turned a piercing gaze towards Boromir who fought to not take a step back. I couldn't tell what happened but he started shaking, looking away from her, sweating nervously and whimpering. Frowning in worry, I put a hand on his arm and he took a shaky breath, calming down a little.

"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost." Lord Celeborn said, casting a heavy weight in my heart.

"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife," Galadriel continued, "Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all."

She glanced quickly at Boromir before looking at Sam, then me. If the Hobbit had the bravery to gaze back at her, I looked away. She was too frightening for me. From the corner of my eye, I saw her smile softly, but I couldn't tell if it was because of Sam or I's reaction.

"Yet hope remains while the Company is true."

Her smile was gentle as she bathed Sam under her majestic gaze. She looked at all of us.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace."

She looked at Frodo and something happened, I felt the air charged with electricity, magic happening. For a short moment, I couldn't breathe despite the fact that it didn't feel as wrong as Sauron's darkness.

Lady Galadriel's gaze then turned to me and I startled, hearing her voice in my mind.

"Welcome back to Lothlórien, my child. It had been many years since you have climbed the stairs of the mallorn trees."

My breath was cut and I almost stumbled backwards, lips opening in shock. The fact that she had spoken into my mind was quickly forgotten as her words sunk into me. Did I ever come to Lothlórien? Could it be… my past belonged here?

Her lips twitched upwards in some sort of amusement, probably reading my confused mind. I wanted to talk, but I was unable to. Lord Celeborn took her hand gently and they turned around to leave, the Lady of Light throwing me a last mischievous glance before turning her head away.

An elf was giving instructions to the Fellowship, but I was still staring at the silhouette of Lady Galadriel, walking away while I had so many questions in my mind. I took a step toward her, but Aragorn stopped me, throwing me a confused look.

"Come, Malrin, let us go now, we need rest," he said.

I looked back to where Galadriel had gone, but there was no sign of her. I swallowed and nodded at a confused Aragorn. He stared at me for a moment, as if he was expecting me to talk, but when I remained silent, he turned around and followed the Fellowship that was climbing down the mallorn trees to the ground. The Hobbits and Gimli were too uncomfortable resting so high in the trees apparently.

I followed them with heavy steps. My heart was beating in panic. I felt as if I had seen a ghost, and now that I looked around, I realized that the mallorn trees, the calming lights shining all around us like fireflies… It felt all too familiar – as a picture I had long forgotten. I had come here, I had been here. In Lothlórien.

On the ground, a large area had been prepared for us. There were tents and soft pillows, trays of food. I leaned against a tree, trying to calm down my madly beating heart. I couldn't help but think about Lady Galadriel's words. She knew me, she knew I had been here and… and it was the closest to a memory, to a clue, about my past that I had in over seventy years!

I glanced upwards, wondering if I could climb up where I had last seen her. Perhaps I could go there again and talk to her or–

"Malrin?"

I startled and turned towards the Fellowship. They had all settled, either to sleep, eat or simply sit on our provided space. Much time must have gone by because I realized that the boys had all washed themselves a little, cleaning off the dust of Moria and the sweat of fighting. Perhaps they had hoped to get rid of the bad memories as well, but their eyes were still full of sorrow.

"S-sorry, I was just… I was thinking about something else," I muttered, coming back towards them.

I noticed Boromir massaging the back of his neck, brows furrowed, gaze haggard and wincing from pain. Remembering the terrible blow he had endured in Moria, I knelt next to him with my bag.

"Let me," I told him, slowly taking away his hand.

He didn't argue, and I quickly checked the back of his head. He had one of the most impressive bumps I've ever seen, but it wasn't bleeding.

"Congratulations, you have the biggest bump I had seen in my entire career of healing," I told him, struggling to find the bottles I was looking for.

"I am glad, then," he sighed, sounding exhausted. We all were, I suppose.

I had spent so much time digging into my bag in a frantic panic that everything had been misplaced from their right compartments. And now that I didn't have to worry about orcs, I took all of my time to read each and every name written on the bottles and boxes.

"Here, take this," I ordered him, handing him two pills.

He raised an eyebrow but didn't discuss, swallowing the pills. I took out a little package of herbs, turning towards the Hobbits.

"Sam, could you please be kind enough to brew this tea?" I asked him, handing him the package.

He nodded in silence before doing so.

"Your turn, young man, take off your clothes," I ordered Frodo.

"Why?" He asked, blinking in confusion.

"Healer's order. And because you almost died, pierced by a spear but miraculously survived, that's why. Let me have a look at that terrible bruise of yours," I told him as he started taking off his clothes.

"The miracle is called mithril," Gimli grunted from where he was laying, under massive roots.

My lips thinned in worry as I saw the terrible looking bruise, black and purple. Frodo had a few scratches because of the mithril rings that had pierced his skin, but thankfully, nothing really serious.

I put some ointments and cream against his dark skin, a sigh of relief escaping his lips instantly. He smiled at me in thanks as I put everything back.

"Shouldn't you have your back looked at rather than take care of us?" Aragorn told me with a slightly, but not quite, scolding voice.

"If I don't take care of you, who will? You'd be lost without me, boys," I said, trying to keep the weariness in my voice at bay.

My back didn't exactly hurt. It wasn't burning, but I could feel the skin stinging sharply at a very specific area, as if I had been marked, not by flames but by a blade of some sort.

Before he could answer, a soft, longing and sorrowful melody started to raise all around us. Everyone looked up, stopping in what they were doing, enchanted by the singing of elves. My eyes filled with tears as I understood the powerful, sad words that were sung…

"What is it?" Pippin asked curiously, looking all around at the trees from which the singing was coming.

"A lament for Gandalf."

Recognizing this voice, I gasped, turning around at once.

"Legolas!" Pippin exclaimed cheerfully.

I stared with wide eyes at the blond-haired elf. He looked much better than the last time I had seen him, and he gave us a small smile but my heart sunk in worry.

"What are you doing here?!" I shrieked, hurrying to him so fast the others couldn't hide their amused expressions.

"I am joining you, obviously," he answered casually.

"You are badly injured, and poisoned! You need to rest! To sleep!" I ordered, grabbing his muscular arm to try to drag him back to the infirmary.

"I will, but amongst you," Legolas stubbornly said, locking his eyes with mine, dangerously.

I opened my lips to argue, but his eyes were too beautiful, and I was unable to think any more. I flushed without realizing it, then pointed sharply at an improvised bed.

"Rest, sleep, now, before I drug you unconscious," I said in a low voice, "Healer's orders."

An amused smirk passed upon his lips, obviously trying to hold back a chuckle.

"I wouldn't want to argue with her, then," he said, walking quietly towards the bed.

I shook my head in slight astonishment. I couldn't believe he managed to slip away from the infirmary just to stay with us. Though… I was touched he'd rather spend the night with the Fellowship than in a much more appropriate bed of the infirmary.

"You're so good for obeying orders anyway," I muttered under my breath in elvish.

Aragorn, who was smoking his pipe, choked and coughed loudly before throwing me a surprised, slightly astonished look. Legolas threw me one of challenge but I felt my cheeks redden and turned away from them, focusing on my bag and what was left of my supplies.

I went to Sam, who was finished with the tea, but before he would pour it into cups, I approached my fingers to it, focusing on my little secret.

"Tanka harwar…" I whispered, a glimmer of gold shimmering above the hot liquid before disappearing.

"What was that?" Sam asked curiously.

"Just a little healing spell," I said with a smile.

He looked a little in awe before gently distributing the tea I had asked him to brew.

Merry looked up towards the trees, the elven singing still resonating beautifully, as if lulling us to sleep.

"What do they say about Gandalf?" He asked, his voice soft, sad and curious.

I felt my heart clench slightly, listening more closely to the mournful words.

"I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near…" Legolas said with a melancholic smile.

"I bet they don't mention his fireworks. There should be a verse about them," Sam said before getting up:

"'The finest rockets ever seen,
They burst in stars of blue and green,
Or after thunder, silver showers…"

Gimli started snoring before being roughly shoved by Aragorn.

"'…Came falling like a… rain of flowers…'" Sam finished hesitantly, "Oh, that doesn't do them justice by a long road."

"It was beautiful, Master Gamgee," I said with a smile.

He smiled back at me, shyly and I winced as my back seemed to remind me that it had been burnt by the fire of a Balrog.

"You really should have this injury looked at by the healers here," Aragorn said, frowning, "It doesn't look good. And you are the only who hasn't washed or rested yet, take some time for you, Malrin."

I was about to retort but he threw me this look, heavy with meaning, the one he reserved to give very important orders and be obeyed without anyone answering back to him.

"And it isn't a request, but a demand. Go, now. We're keeping some food for when you'll be back."

I sighed, glanced at Legolas who was watching me, eyes bright with worry. I finally nodded, averting my eyes away from him before getting up and retreating towards the infirmary that I had noticed earlier.

I walked numbly and found an elleth who indicated me where to find the streaming baths. She gave me a white dress and everything I might need to clean myself before guiding me to the river, leaving me alone. I took off my dirty clothes in relief, despite the wincing I couldn't hold back as the fabric seemed caught and entwined with the burnt skin and dried blood.

I went into the river in relief, cleaning my skin thoroughly to get rid off the dust. My hair was softer than I had felt it in a long time and I sighed in relief, the stress slowly draining out of me.

Still, I couldn't stop thinking about Lady Galadriel's words. I wanted to see her, to talk to her. To find out the truth about my past, and who I really was.

I got out of the stream and dried my body quickly before putting on a bathing dress, brushing my hair with my fingers absent-mindedly. Now that we were safe, despite the endless questions that were running in my head, I felt numb from exhaustion.

There was a mirror just behind a wooden screen and I decided to look at my burnt back. I turned around, dropping the bathing dress from my shoulders before stifling back a scream. My eyes widened in shock, and I started shaking uncontrollably.

My back wasn't burnt. It was covered in elvish writing, stinging sharply, as if it had been carved with a knife in my flesh. The letters were in a fiery color, bright, as if burning with a fire from within. But what made me react so frighteningly were the words I read:

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Next chapter soon I think! Malrin's story will soon be revealed! ;)

Yours Truly,

May