Happy Reading everyone! Don't forget to comment below!

*** I have never been to a funeral for a fallen police officer.. I googled and researched. I apologize ahead of time if I am mistaken or got it wrong. I mean no disrespect!****

Tris' P.O.V was refereed from both Divergent and Insurgent books. I do not own anything... all credits go to Veronica Roth.

"To love again"

Chapter 12

Tris P.O.V

Four years ago

I feel weak and drained. How could this be happening? I don't understand. This wasn't suppose to happen. We had a plan. This wasn't apart of it.

I stand alone in front of the darn brown, shinny, long box that holds what use to be my fiance, my life, my world. What is there left for me? Everything was centered around him, us.

I take a deep breath, wiping the moisture from my eyes again for the thousandth time today. If it wasn't for my family and friends, I don't think I would have had the strength to even get out of bed. How will I survive this, not having him with me? Didn't we promise each other forever?

We were to be married next week. Go on our honeymoon, we had hopes to conceive our first born. We have waited long enough to start a family. How did this happen? How did we go from almost having it all... to being nothing? Just me.

I turn around seeing hundreds of people taking their seats. My family, our family are seating in the front row along with our closes friends. All here today to say Good bye to Eric. I look beyond the first row, I see the countless of people Eric helped through out his life. I see beyond them to the men and women dressed in their black and blue uniforms. All here to say farewell. I take a deep breath, wishing for the tears to stop. But I know this is just the beginning of them. I feel my body shake with despair. Will I ever be the same? Will the tears ever stop? Will I ever be whole, again? I take my seat between Shauna and my Mother. They both grab a hold of my hand, leading me their strength to get through the day.

"Today we are joined to celebrate a life that was taken from us too soon. To say our Farewells to Eric Coulter. Whose greatest accomplishment in life was to help others in the best way he could. He strived to right the wrongs, and-" The priest continues. But I tune him out, unable to take his words. This can't be... "He was loved and survived by many... But what he cherished most in this world was..." He continues further and somewhere down the road I hear my full name followed by the words of love and devotion. I know Eric did love me with everything he had. He proved that every single day, even when he was angry at me. "I understand Beatrice will like to share some words." He says, gesturing me to take the stand.

I stand slowly, feeling unbalanced by the lack of food, sleep, and the despair. I can do this. I have to do this. I stand at the podium, unfolding my prepared speech. I take a deep breath before I can say the words that I long never to speak... The words that once I say, can no longer be taken back. It would be the words that finalize this. There is no going back. He will be and is gone.

"Eric... he was.." I begin to say. But I can't bring myself to say the words between my tears. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I stop, looking up at the person touching me. Max, Eric's good friend and Captain. I see that he too has red and swollen eyes, he slowly takes the paper out of my hands. He nods at me, wordlessly telling me it's ok. He's got this. He takes a look at the sheet of paper, and begins to read my speech for me word for word. I don't step down, instead I lean into him, allowing his right arm to circle my shoulders has he reads out loud.

"For many of you, when you hear the name Eric Coulter... You think of him as a hard worker, for some a hero, and loyal and devoted person. When I hear of his name I think of the man I grew up to love and admire. I think of the man who use to make me laugh when I was sad. Who loved me even when I was at my worst. A man that would go through great lengths to protect not only myself but our city."

"Eric Coulter had a hard start in this world... At a young age he was forced to face the world and our streets. This only made him see the wrong that needed to be right. The helpless that needed protection. The next generation that needed better guidance. He fought every day of his adult life so those could make it home to their families at the end of the night. He made a commitment and he stuck by it until his last breath." The tears become heavier along with my sobs as I know the last part is coming. "My love, my life, we tried to live the day as if it was our last. Never leaving each other without a kiss or an I love you. Know this, this is not Good bye... This is I'll see you soon and I love you." That was it, those last words broke me. If it wasn't for Max's arm around my shoulder, I know I would crumble to the floor.

Max helps me to my seat as more take the podium to speak about Eric and what a wonderful man he truly become. My heart breaks even further when I think of the boy, Eric use to be. Than the man he grew up to be. It tough to think I will never see the man he was always meant to be. The Husband and Father he should have been.

I tune out words of others spoke. I stare down at the grass, dazed, not able to focus in on anything. That is until the sound of popping sends shivers down my spine. My body shacks with each shot they send out into the air. Twenty one shots are fired to honor the officer that lost his life in the line of duty. I feel my Mother's arm wrap around my shoulder, giving me her strength and support.

The violin begins to play has two officers begin the folding of the flag that layed on Eric's dark brown coffin.

When the last shot is fired, Max stands grabbing the hand piece radio off of one of the police officer's shoulder. He speaks clearly and loudly into the mic as he asks the dispatcher to make the traditional "The last radio call."

I hear the dispatcher ask for radio silence before beginning the last call... "Foxtrot 297 are you by the radio... Foxtrot from 531 to 297..." She pauses,waits for a response that will never come. "Please out Foxtrot 297, Detective Eric Coulter on a double six... Foxtrot 297... badge number 297 is on a double six... Foxtrot 297, Detective Eric Coulter out of service. End of watch May 25th 2015. Godspeed, Eric." The dispatcher says coming through all the speakers that the officers are wearing. In that moment I am being handed a folded flag. When I finally look up I see many officers looking down at me with sadness and pity in their eyes.

One year later

"Are you sure about this, Tris? We can figure something out." Shauna says. She hands me another box.

"Yea. I have too. Too many memories here, mortgage is too much on my own." I say. It takes every ounce I have with in me to keep the tears at bay. Even after a year, I still expect him to come through the door. To come up behind me, wrap me in his arms while I do the dishes.

"What are you planning to with his cloths?" Shauna says. She stands in the closet, staring at Eric's side. Up until now, I couldn't bring myself to rid of his possessions. His cloths are still hang, cloths still folded in his side of the dresser, his shaving kit still sits on the bathroom counter. I know I have finally think about what to do with them. I can't take everything with me to my new apartment. It won't all fit.

"Does Zeke need or want?" I start to ask but I'm not able to finish my question. Eric's lost touched us all in different ways. It was no big secret Zeke and Eric never got along at first in high school. In fact they hated each other. I think at one point they sough out to make sure life was a living hell for the other. But that all changed... because of me. Shauna and I were and are best friends. Zeke loved me like a sister. But I dig my heels in and told everyone to grow up. I refused to let either one win me over. Eventually they learned to put their differences aside. True they weren't best friends... But Zeke and Eric did have a drink every once in awhile. They would even help each other out here and there. It was nice comfortable place for them... Seeing how things first started. "What Zeke won't want... We donate." Of course I kept the most cherished clothing, that mean to much to just get rid of. Shirts that he would catch me wearing while making us breakfast on our days off. The worn out sweat pants that no matter how much I threatened him... He wouldn't dream of getting rid of. He would say, "They comfortable, Babe, broken into."

"When do you have to be out of here?" Shauna asks.

"Next Friday." I answer. Just like that... I get to work, trying to put all my feelings and thoughts aside. At least for now that is.

I open my eyes to the words "Fear God Alone" painted in black on light gray walls. The sound of slow running water calls my attention, my head turns towards the sound. I see Tobias standing in an open door, he appears to be washing his hands. I quickly realize I'm laying in the middle of a large and comfortable bed. The events that lead us to here comes back to me, along with the sore and pain through out my body. I know if I move it will just make things worst.

I groan loudly, getting Tobias' attention. I watch him come into the room with a first aid kit and a ice pack in his hands. He gently sits on the edge of the bed, next to me. He doesn't say a word has he places the ice pack over my head. He never takes his eyes off of mine while he does this. His face full of concern. Something catches my eyes, I take notice his hands. There are cracks, cuts and bruises on them.

"Your hands," I croak.

"My hands are none of your concern." He replies as his lips press together forming a firm straight line. That's when I see it, his lips are split. Before he pulls away, I reach out to touch the cut on the side of his lip. I touch my fingertips lightly to his mouth.

"Tris," he says, speaking against my fingers. "I'm all right." His eyes are burning into mine.

"Why were you there?" I ask, letting my hand drop.

"I didn't feel right leaving you there. I stayed in my truck making sure you were ok." He says, as he scratches the back of his neck. The thought of him watching me, waiting for me... Should creep me out. But for now it relaxes me, makes me feel safe and protected. I should have known better. Should have taken him up on his offer. Maybe than we wouldn't be here in this mess.

"Tris, I need to check you out. The guy got a few good hits on you." Tobias says, carefully with each word he speaks. "It's that or I take you to the hospital to get checked out." I nod. He is a EMT. I don't want to take a trip to the E.R and have to explain what happened. They would call the police for sure. I don't need more pity from the officers. I'm not weak. I've come to far to feel like I once did in their eyes. No, I have to be strong and get through this on my own.

I nod again, giving him approval. I feel Tobias' fingers graze the back of my head, I wince at the contact. But he doesn't think there is anything to worry about. He checks my pupils, making sure they are not dilated. Along with my pulse and heart rate. I seem to be ok. He proceeds to check my jaw, noise and neck. I haven't looked at myself in the mirror. But the look on his face, tells me I might be wearing a lot of concealer for a while.

Than it occurs to me, something is missing around my neck. My hand flies to my neck, in search for the thin chain that holds Eric's ring. My eyes widen as my heart breaks into pieces. Tobias realizes my reaction, as he watches the tears that fall from my eyes. Concern fills him. I remind myself he doesn't know about Eric. I never told him.

"Tris, what is it? Does something hurt?" He asks, his voice matching his concern expression. But I can't answer immediately as I mourn the ring that meant so much for me. For the ring that I wasn't ready to let go of.

"Yes. No. They took my chain." I sob. He takes me hand giving it a soft comforting squeeze.

"It could have been worst... Your chain is replaceable, you're not." He says. Only if he knew, that chain, that ring can't be replaced. I just nod. It's easier than telling him about the story, my story, for now.

"Tris, I need to check your ribs. Make sure nothing is broken. Do you mind if I lift up your shirt?" Tobias asks. I feel my cheeks instantly turning red as I take in his words. I nod, not able to find my voice again. He slowly raises my shirt, just below my left breast. I feel his fingers slowly graze over my ribs, one by one. He leaves a trail of heat as he checks each one. Although I flinch and wince... They aren't broken just badly bruised. That explains the soreness and how it's painful to breath. He pulls my shirt back to it's original place. I am thankful to be covered once again. After all the only man that ever saw me naked was Eric. He leans down, staring into my eyes for what feels like hours. I watch his eyes finally break our gaze and slowly stares at my lips. It's than I remember... Christina. His fiance. No matter what I think about their relationship, I can't allow this to happen. I place my hand on his chest breaking what ever thoughts he was lost in. I try but fail miserably to sit up.

"Tris, I.. We can report this." He says. I wondered how long it would take him to ask why I didn't want to involve the police.

"No. I can't... I don't want them to see me like this. Not after everything." I say. I wish he would understand I don't want to speak about this. I watch as his eyebrows creases together.

I wouldn't know where to begin. How would I explain to him everything? That the chain that was around my neck wasn't just a chain. That it isn't replaceable to me. The ring that represented to Eric his love for me, his promise to have me forever. Now that's gone. How do I explain that although Eric passed away I stayed in contact with his Captain, Max. That it's normal for me to show up with coffee and Donuts for the whole station from time to time. The act, although a small act, makes me feel like I am still connected to Eric somehow. Making sure everyone he left behind is ok. I don't want them to see me broken, and weak. Not again.

"Ok..." He says as he sighs in defeat. "You can let yourself be in pain. It's just me." He says, so sincerely.

"You think it would be bad idea if I sat up?"

"I'll help you." He gently helps me into a sitting position. I push myself up as the pain rushes through my body in sharp bursts, but I try to ignore it, stifling another groan. "Hey. Hey." He says gently, grabbing my attention. "You don't have to be so strong all the time. I got you. You're safe. I promise, I won't let anything happen to you. Not again." I don't know if it's his words or the exhaustion that overwhelms me, but suddenly I am unable to fight that tears that are threatening to spill. He takes a seat next to me on the bed. He doesn't say one word. Instead he rubs my back in soothing circular motions and just sits there with me. When the sobs have all but stopped and the tears have run dried. I thank him for all he has done for me. He just nods with a tint of blush.

"I should go." I confess. I need to get home and into bed.

"Tris." He says stopping me before I can move an inch. "You can't..." He continues to explain that my attackers although never bothered with taking my car, took my keys. To make matters worst they took my wallet. Which leaves me with no ID, credit cards, cash, no way in entering my apartment or car. Tobias also continues to explain his fear that something worst might happen to me... Seeing that my ID has my address after all, leaving my attackers with all the means to let themselves into my home. "Rest, tonight. Tomorrow we will get your locks changes, and call a locks smith for the car as well." He than gives me, my very mangled and crushed phone. Guess I need a new phone too now. "I can call Shauna or Zeke, if you prefer them?" He offers. I shake my head, no. I don't want them to worry, it's late. Shauna doesn't need the extra stress, she worries enough about me.

Tobias helps me into the jointed bathroom, turning on the lights and shower for me. He hands me a shirt and boxers and tells me to take my time. It's now I decide to look in the mirror, I'm disguised at myself. Every inch of my is covered in some kind of cuts, or bruises. The swelling on my face is indescribable. I slowly enter the shower and get the last traces of my attackers off my body.

Words can never express how much I appreciate Tobias tonight. I can't even begin to think about what would have happened if he hadn't stayed against my wishes.

I quickly finish up in the shower, lingering just a few extra minutes under the heat of the water. I hoped the heat would help sooth my aches but I have no luck. The pain never fades. When I reemerge from the bathroom, Tobias is standing there water and pain pills in his hands. I thank him once again and take them, no questions asked. He tells me that they will help with the pain but also make me sleepy. He helps me ease slowly into the bed and tucks me in.

"My bedroom is just across the hall if you need anything." Tobias informs me.

"This isn't your room?" I ask. It dawns on me I never asked where I was, or what bed I was in.

"No. This is my spare room." He explains. For the moment I am partially relieved knowing that Christina and him possibly never shared this bed at least. Without thinking my hand reaches out and grabs his before he has a chance to pull away. He looks down at me with concern and questioning on his face.

I battle with the question I want to ask him. The one thing I need right now most of all. "Stay with me. Please. Just until I fall asleep." I ask, pleading with him. I know this is wrong. He is engaged for crying out loud. But at the same time, I'm scared to be alone, to close my eyes, to move. I just want someone with me. He nods his head, yes. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed right next to me. No more words are needed for tonight.

I lay in the bed, all I see is darkness surround me. But something tells me I'm not alone. The same feeling I felt outside my work place comes back at me. I feel the creepy, panic feeling hitting me. I look around the room, wishing my eyes to adjust to the lack of light. To see who is here with me. I see a dark figure standing there, watching me. My body is frozen. Unable to move. Just as he lunges for me.. I scream as loud as I can, in hopes Tobias will hear me.

"Tris. Tris. Tris... Wake up!" I hear a familiar voice urging me to wake. When my eyes flutter open, I see Tobias sitting on the edge of the bed. Same position he was when I last saw him. Only this time he has nothing but concern written all over his face. It's now I understand who is causing his concern, me. I feel my forehead with a line of sweat. He hands me a bottle of water that he must have placed by the bed for me. I drink it as fast as I can. I didn't realize how thirsty I was. "Bad dream?" I nod, not able to find my words. "What happened?" He asks. But I can't bring myself to tell him. He has already seen me too weak.

"I'm sorry, I woke you." I say.

"Hey. Don't apologize. You can't control your nightmares. Plus you've been through hell." He says, trying to comfort me. "Why don't you got some more rest?" He suggest. But I can't. Afraid of what my dreams will bring me next. He must see the battle in my eyes because the next thing I know... He is making himself a makeshift bed right beside the bed I am taking residency on. As he lays down, I know he can still see the fear in my eyes. "We're all right, you know. You and me. I won't let anyone hurt you. Ok?" He says. I know by the look in his eyes, he truly means it. Every word. My chest aches, I nod again as my response.

"I don't mean to be such a mess. I say. Finally finding my voice.

"It's wrong. What they did to you... It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have happened to you. I'm here for you... for as long as it takes." He says. Laying down on his back, but not before taking my hand in his and giving it a soft squeeze. "Sleep. I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you." He says.

"With what?"

"My bare hands, obviously." He jokingly says. Although it sounds funny, I truly believe him. We lay there in our separate beds only connected by our joined hands. I allow the darkness to once again take me under.

A/N So I hope you all you Divergent book lovers liked the moments taken from the books themselves!

Next update will be July 10th.

Take care

Trini