*Edited January 2015*

Chapter 12: Homecoming

Genesis was finishing packing her bag. One more session and she was free to go home. 'I can get back to my life' She thought. She had no idea her Mother had found her stash, and food diary. She had no idea how different her life was going to be from this day on. Using the wall for support she practically skipped to Dr. Kerns office. When she got to the door she tapped twice and entered the room.

"Hello Genesis. You're looking chipper today." Dr. Kerns said smiling.

"I'm happy to be getting out of here." Gensis said taking a seat on the couch next to her Mother.

"We will still be seeing each other three times a week and as often as your Mother finds necessary." Dr. Kerns said.

Genesis held her composure and just nodded in understanding.

"Olivia why don't you start?" Dr. Kerns suggested.

Genesis looked at her Mother confused.

"When you come home there are gonna be some rules..." Olivia began. "...We will have all meals together, you have a 7 o' clock curfew, and there will be no more locked doors." Olivia said.

"Ok." Genesis said with a sigh.

"If you break any of these rules I'll ground you." Olivia said.

"Ok." Gen said nodding.

'I was sure she was going to disagree...maybe not considering she does anything she's told' Olivia thought.

"We haven't discussed your rapes, your pregnancy and subsequent termination, or your eating disorder. But I'm hoping in time you will learn to trust both of us and speak freely about those. Your Mother told me she found your diuretics, laxatives, razors, and food diary in your room your first night here with us." Dr. Kerns said.

'Fuck! I knew they were going to try to take this away from me!' Genesis thought.

"I'll also be doing sweeps throughout your room if I suspect you're not sticking to your treatment plan." Olivia said firmly.

"Why are being like this mom?!" Genesis finally burst.

"Like what?" Olivia asked.

"I...I don't know...Like a fucking cop?!" Genesis snapped.

Olivia turned her whole body in Gen's direction, and gaped at her. "Language!" She warned. "What are you talking about?" She asked.

"You really don't love me anymore." Genesis said quietly.

Dr. Kerns sat quietly watching the interaction between Mother and child.

Olivia chewed her bottom lip. She felt like crying. Genesis really believed she didn't love her, and she didn't know how to convince her otherwise. She reached towards her, and shattered when Genesis scooted away towards the other end of the couch.

'Dammit!' Olivia thought.

"How did I lose you?" Olivia asked softly.

"You want to give me back." Genesis said, her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes, and spilled onto her cheeks.

"That's NOT true!" Olivia retorted quickly.

"Time out." Dr. Kerns interrupted.

"Genesis why do you feel like your Mother doesn't love you anymore, and that she wants to give you back?"

Genesis pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. She stayed silent as she began to cry almost hysterically. She wanted to stop but she didn't know how. She felt out of control. She wanted to binge, and purge, and cut, and cut, and cut. She didn't want to be here spilling her secrets, and talking about all the shit that had damaged her and made her unworthy of her Mother's love.

"Sweetheart?" Olivia asked slowly moving towards her end of the couch.

Genesis still said nothing. She just cried, and cried. She felt her Mother place her arms around her, and they felt like hot irons. She didn't want her Mother to hold her now. Not now when she felt like she was undeserving of the love she was being shown. She tried to break away from her mother, but it was a failure before she even began. She just sat there crying.

"Genesis, please tell us. This is a safe place" Dr. Kerns said softly.

Finally she spoke, and the words coming out of her mouth seemed to hurt more than keeping them inside.

"She doesn't love me anymore because it was my fault! I ran away! And I ran into him! And I couldn't keep him off me! And she's going to give me back because Derek was right when he asked me who the fuck would want me?!" Gensis cried.

Oliva now had tears streaming down her face. She wanted to kill that bastard for making her daughter believe the lies he told.

"That's not true!" Olivia's breathe hitched in her throat. "Please, you have to understand, and see by now that that's not true. You have to know how much I love you. I couldn't bear to live without you if something happened to you!" She said softly as tears continued to fall like raindrops.

Genesis said nothing. She was replaying what her Mother had just said to her. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, and sucked in a deep breathe. She was exhausted, and she just wanted to go home, and sleep in her bed. "Ok" She finally said after a long pause.

"I think this is a very good start." Dr. Kerns said. "I'll see the tow of you Monday at 2 o' clock. If you should need me, please don't hesitate to call" She said handing her card to Olivia.

Olivia took the card, and slipped it into her purse, nodding. "Can I take her home now?" Olivia asked dabbing at her face with a tissue.

"Yes. She's free to go. You'll just need to sign her release forms at the front desk." Dr. Kerns said.

"Did you hear that honey? I can take you home now!" Olivia said.

Genesis stood from the couch, and slowly made her way to the door. She had reached her goal. She was finally getting out of a place that seemed like hell on earth for the last three days. She couldn't believe how stupid the Dr. was. She smiled to herself as she followed her Mother to the car. Sure she would have to eat more, and probably gain some more weight but there was no way in hell she was going to just stop. On the way home she stared out the window, admiring the buildings as they blurred by while she listened to "Rolling in the deep" by Adele on her iPod.

Olivia removed the left earbud, getting her attention. "I spoke to a nutritionist. And she made up a meal plan for you based on the records the hospital sent over. You have to eat all your meals at the same time. I took off some more time from work so I could be home with you. When we get home it'll be time for lunch. What do you say we order some Chinese, and then we can take a walk?" She said.

'They weren't fucking kidding!' Genesis thought. She forced a smile and nodded. "Sure" She said shrugging. "Chinese sounds good" 'How the fuck am I going to purge that?! Mom is going to be watching, and probably counting every second I spend in the bathroom!' She thought.

When they got home Gensis went to her room, and stared at the floor - Olivia had long ago cleaned the blood, but she could still picture herself with her leg cut up, bleeding everywhere, and slipping away. She was livid. She had failed, and that made her angry. 'I shouldn't be alive right now!' She raged at herself. She began unpacking while her Mom ordered their lunch. As she was unpacking she noticed she had all these plastic bags, and she got an idea. Since she could no longer purge in the bathroom she would just purge into bags in her room, and throw them away when she could. 'This could work' She thought smiling to herself.

After about 30 minutes Olivia called Genesis into the living room where she had arranged the food onto plates, and set out water for both of them.

The last thing Genesis wanted to do was eat but she knew she would have to cooperate for awhile. 'Just long enough to get them off my back' She told herself. She dug into her food with gusto, talking, and laughing with her Mother. She couldn't wait to hide away in her room, and purge the food but she would have to wait for the right moment.

"It's great to have you home honey." Olivia said.

"I'm glad to be home! I never want to go to one of those places again!" Genesis exclaimed.

Genesis sat, and watched tv with her Mother for about 30 minutes before asking for a painkiller, and asking to go lie down. She placed the painkiller under her tongue, and swallowed her water. Once she was inside the safety of her room, she opened her closet door, took out a plastic bag, and heaved into it. Once she was satisfied she felt empty enough she tied the bag shut, and placed it in the back of her closet. She took the painkiller from her pocket, and tossed in into and empty Altoids tin. 'Back in control' She thought.

Olivia knocked on the door before pushing the door open. "Honey? Are you awake?" She asked.

"Yes" Genesis said quietly.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing. Just tired I guess" Genesis answered turning towards her mother with a smile.

"Let's check your weight, and we can go for a walk. Just 30 minutes ok?" Olivia said.

"Ok." Genesis said heading to the bathroom.

She hadn't seen her weight since she had been in the hospital, and she was terrified what it might be. She stripped down, and stepped onto the scale.

'103'

'That can't be right!' Genesis thought. She knew for a fact she was 96 pounds when she went into the hospital. It seems that mush she forced down for the past three days was effective in fattening her up. 'FUCK!' She raged. She had gained 7 pounds. She looked up at her mother, and weakly smiled.

"So far so good" Olivia beamed, writing down her weight in a small notebook.

"Yeah..."Genesis said.

"Don't worry sweetie. You'll stop gaining so fast once your metabolism builds back up" Olivia said cheerfully.

"Can we go on that walk now" Genesis asked smiling up at her mother.

"Yes. Go get dressed" Olivia said placing the notebook on top of the shelf.

Genesis was so angry with herself as she slipped on her gym clothes. 'You fat greedy pig! You just don't know how to say "no" to food do you?!' She yelled at herself. She took a leisure walk around Central Park with her mother. She was on auto-pilot as they made small talk. Part of her felt normal. Like this was the way things were meant to be, and the other part of her wanted to shutdown. She knew one slip and she'd end up back in the hospital, and she hated that place more than she hated school. She would have to survive this way of life. So she forced herself to really enjoy the walk with her mom. While she thought about how to fool her mother and the nutritionist, and Dr. Kerns.