This would have been posted yesterday if this website wasn't a total and utter asshat :D

Chapter 12 - The Break-Up

I was in love.

The sickly, all-consuming, vomit-inducing love.

Kurt and I had had breakfast in bed at the hotel. We'd sat under the sheets, feeding each other bits of toast and wiping crumbs off our laps. Then we'd turned on the TV and watched re-runs of Friends nestled up against each other – laughing at the jokes and glancing in each other's direction every minute or so to share a loving kiss. Of course, I was mind-numbingly sore - something I hadn't quite expected or realised came from totally amazing sex, but once again Kurt was there to offer me advice and soothe the pain with affection. If the me from a few months ago had seen us he probably would have shot himself in the head. But I didn't care. This was the happiest I'd ever been.

After our weekend away we'd had to return to Lima, something that crushed my spirit beyond belief. Gone was the freedom and back was the hiding. Now I had realised my feelings it was even harder to keep them a secret. I just wanted to kiss him all the time. We struggled through however, and it was the thought of the evenings that kept me going throughout the day.

"Dude…"

"DUDE!" I was suddenly awoken from my daydream, jerking to life and almost knocking over my drink. Puck's hand shot out to steady it and he gave me a look. Yeah, I know dude, I know.

"What?" I hadn't been listening to a word they'd been saying. Pretty much every conversation that didn't involve Kurt bored me to tears now.

"Don't you think it's super lame that they moved that pop quiz to this Friday?"

"Um, yeah." No I didn't. I wasn't going to fail it. I was good at math now.

"It's not just lame. It's shit." Quinn seemed more irate that usual. She was gripping onto her fork very tightly and stabbing into her salad like it had offended her. Not that I cared. As the sound of metal screeching against porcelain rang across the hall Rory jumped. He was still valiantly sitting with us and trying to join in the discussion like he normally did. He could take my place if he wanted.

Suddenly I was distracted by someone entering the cafeteria across the other side of the room. Kurt waltzed over to a half-empty table, perching on the end and beginning to neatly unwrap his sandwiches. I wished he didn't have to sit on his own. I wished I could call him over, or better yet, leave my friends behind and join him. My eyes were fixed on the side of his face and suddenly he looked over – our eyes connecting for a split second. It was like electricity coursing through me. Immediately we both looked away, small smiles creeping on our faces and then I saw him run his fingers pointedly through his hair. I mirrored the movement. Our way of saying 'I love you'.

"So are you going?" Shit. I'd not been listening again. Seeing Quinn looking at me expectantly I struggled for an answer. Rory and Puck just stared at me.

"Um…going to what?"

"Finn's party! Jesus Blaine are you on planet Mars or something?" Ok, something was definitely up with Quinn. Maybe she was on her period.

"Finn's holding a party at his house. At least two kegs." I nodded in thanks at Puck who had explained. Finn holding a party? I was surprised I had been invited. But then again – it was at his house. Kurt's house.

"Yeah. I'm in." I tried not to make it obvious that I was excited. Wondering if Kurt was going to be there, if people would be drunk enough to not notice I was gone…

"Good." Quinn finally dropped her fork down on her empty plate and got to her feet. "Are you coming Blaine?"

"Nah." I replied, not even bothering to look in her direction. "Got Trig." An exasperated sigh filled my ears and then with a rush of air she was gone.

"What was up with her?" I asked with a shrug.

"Did you hear about the party?" The rest of the school day had passed by in a blur and I was sitting alone on my bed. It was Finn's week to stay at the Hummel house again so Kurt and I were doing our normal routine of talking on the phone. I had been seriously tempted to invite him over to mine, but knew it was virtually impossible. There was too much of a risk of someone finding us.

"What party?" The sound of Kurt's voice relaxed me beyond belief, to the point where I could almost jerk off to it.

"Finn's party! At your house."

"Oh yeah. That." I noted the disproval immediately.

"I'm gonna be there."

"Really?" It made my heart swell to hear my boyfriend's change of tone – suddenly to hopeful.

"Yeah. With Quinn."

"Oh."

"But I'll still be there. Maybe we could find a room…"

"Blaine. It's a party. There's no way we wouldn't get caught."

"Mmmn. Just suggesting."

"I know." It was funny how relaxed about us I was now. Of course nobody could ever find out – and I would never do anything stupid – but it had got to the point where I was so desperate for some kind of daily contact with Kurt that I was willing to take a few chances.

"Maybe one day we could go to our own party. In Columbus or something." I heard a sigh down the phone and wished I could reach through the receiver and stroke his face.

"I'd like that."

Suddenly there was a knock at my door. The sound made me jump up and almost drop the phone.

"Shit. There's someone at my door. Gotta go."

"Oh, ok." Kurt sounded sad and my heart ached, but I had to sign off quickly.

"Speak to you soon. I love you."

"I love you too." Just as I pressed the end call button my door opened and a face peeked round.

"Blaine?" Wow. I hadn't been expecting that person.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" I nodded my head and my Dad fully entered the room, walking over and perching himself on the end of the bed. What the hell was he doing here? Was something wrong?

"Don't worry, nothing's wrong." He said, obviously reading my expression. "I just want to talk." Hmmm. This was worrying. My Dad hadn't expressed a personal interest in my life for the past three months.

"What's up." I watched him pause, trying to think of the right way to start. The expression of his face when he concentrated was incredibly similar to mine – I could see why we were compared to each other so often. And why we clashed.

"You seem…happier at the moment." The words made me stop dead. What? That was unexpected. Looking back I saw brown eyes staring back at me, searching for a response.

"Um…yeah. I guess I am." Did he know something? Had Dean blabbed?

"Well I'm happy. I'm happy that you're happy." For a few seconds we just looked at each other, both unsure what to say. I was still completely confused by the entire conversation and what it meant.

"I know it hasn't been easy, recently. For you." Dad started talking again and I realised what he was saying was important. Something that hadn't been said for a while. "I haven't made it easy. But I was struggling too. Simone, she…she made it easier." I started to play with my fingers, looking down at them nervously. "I kind of forced her onto us because, because it was my way of coping. And I know I don't cope well – neither of us do. But I had to do it. So we didn't fall apart." Suddenly I felt emotions begin to bubble inside me. Emotions I hadn't felt in a long time. Not even around Kurt.

"Dad…"

"And I shouldn't have asked her to move in without your permission. I should have checked. But you would have said no. You do like Simone don't you?" I had to think about my answer. I'd gone through so much of my life hating her – just for no particular reason loathing the ground she walked on – but that opinion had changed. She was accepting.

"Yeah. I guess I do." Dad smiled, something I hadn't genuinely seen for too long, and I suddenly realised there were tears in his eyes. Oh hell.

"Thank you. That means a lot." He shifted a little closer and I had to blink back the own tears forming in my eyes. No Blaine. It was bad enough one Anderson was crying. Let alone two.

"I love you Blaine. I know it might not seem like it sometimes, but I do. And I'm happy you managed to get through whatever was bothering you, even without my help." He looked up at me, straight into my eyes, and then held out his arms.

I was in them like a shot.

"I love you too Dad." As we hugged, both of us desperately trying to reign in the emotions that were threatening to explode from our chests, I couldn't help but wonder if Dad would feel the same if he knew the truth about me. If he knew who I really was. Would I still be his son? Would he still love me as much as he did now? Right now I didn't care. He was here and I needed him.

Everyone was talking about the party. Everyone who was everyone was going. For a brief period of time I remembered what it was like to live in this world – where everything revolved around who you were hanging around with, what you were doing, who you dated. Remarkably my fake relationship with Quinn was still going strong and I knew she would be hanging off my arm from the moment we stepped through the Hummel front door. I was kind of grateful, but at the same time I had experienced the other side of life – the side with Kurt. I liked that better.

I had to pick Quinn up from her house so sat outside in my car tapping the steering wheel with my fingers. She was late – as per usual. I hadn't understood what took girls so goddamn long to get ready when I was straight and I still didn't get it now. Glancing at my phone I saw a text from Kurt and smiled.

People are getting here now. Time for me to hide.

I'm on my way. You better not hide from me.

As I typed the reply in I imagined him sitting upstairs somewhere, maybe in his room, maybe in the bathroom. I had to see him tonight, if only for a few seconds.

Suddenly there was a banging on my window and I jerked my head away from my phone to see Quinn hammering her fist against it. Jesus Christ.

"Ok, ok." I said, hurriedly reaching over to open the door. It was opened and my girlfriend stumbled in, almost hitting her head on the gear stick. Wait – was she drunk? How on earth had she got past her parents?

"Quinn what the hell man?" I asked, more annoyed than concerned. She responded by leaning over and kissing me passionately – something I didn't respond to.

"You look so hot tonight." She slurred, making my skin crawl. "Can we just stay here?" I felt her hand move towards my crotch and immediately pushed her back onto the seat.

"Quinn. We're right outside your house. Let's go." A muffled sound of annoyance filled the car but I ignored it, starting the ignition and setting off.

The party was in full swing when we arrived – the music booming out of the open door and the sound of drunken chatter filling the air. I hauled Quinn to the doorway already annoyed by her clinginess and paused in front of it, looking inside. It seemed strange to be stepping through it in this scenario – the house now so familiar to me. I wondered where Kurt was and was just about to send him a text when Puck spotted up from across the room and called out.

"Hey! Blaine!" Immediately I was bombarded with people, all wanting to talk to me. Quinn lolled over me like some helpless puppy and when Rory offered to get me a drink I didn't say no. I was gonna have to get drunk tonight.

An hour later I was wasted. People had been bringing me shots all over the place and I had taken them gratefully. I hadn't even seen Finn yet but if I did I was going to thank him for such a rocking party.

Whefre are yooooou?

I'd sent the text five minutes ago but hadn't had a reply - the lack of contact beginning to get me ancy. Was he avoiding me?

Upstairs

Finally. As I struggled to reply Quinn said something that I didn't hear. She tried to grab hold of my phone but I held it away, giving her a shove.

Comhje downand seee me

I pressed send and then surveyed the area I was currently situated in. Quinn and I were on the sofa – both of us taking up the whole thing, and Rory was perched awkwardly on the chair next to us, just watching. Puck and Mike were doing yet more shots and Sam was attempting to rap along to Stereo Hearts booming out of the speakers. I guess when they were drunk these guys were pretty cool. I was cool when I was drunk. I was awesome.

"Blaiiiine…" I was just about to respond to Quinn's drawling words when I spotted a figure appear quickly through the door.

"KURT!" Everyone turned to look at me, and then the person I was shouting at. My boyfriend looked mortified.

"Kurt! Come over!" I beckoned with my arms frantically but he didn't move. Why wasn't he coming? Didn't he want to see me?

"Yeah Kurt! Come over!" Suddenly Puck joined in, beckoning with his arms too. Cool, thanks Puck. I just wanted one kiss. One little kiss…

"Dontcha wanna come and say hi?" Suddenly they were all laughing – I couldn't understand so looked over at my boyfriend but he still seemed livid. I held out my arms but he shook his head, before swiftly leaving the room.

"Hey!" I cried out in annoyance and the rest of the guys laughed again. This wasn't funny. What had I done wrong?

"He wouldn't come over…" I said to Quinn. She seemed to find this funny too and ran her hands languidly through my hair.

"That's because he wants you and you're with me." She leant in to kiss me but I suddenly felt my phone vibrate and fumbled to get it.

Bathroom. NOW.

Oh goody. Immediately swinging my legs round and probably kicking Quinn in the process I struggled to my feet.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom." Not bothering to listen to the response I stumbled out of the living room and made my way to the other room.

Once I'd shut and locked the door behind me I was surprised to find nobody inside.

"Kuuuurt? Where are youuuu?" I began to look under towels and in the toilet, wondering if he was hiding somewhere. "I'm heeeere! Come outttt!" Suddenly my phone began to buzz and I answered it.

"Heyyy! Where are yooou?"

"Shut up. Just seriously shut up!" I was startled by the harsh response, rocking back and forth in a daze for a second.

"Why are you being mean?"

"Because you are being an idiot! What the hell were you doing in there! People can't see us together!"

"I just wanted to say hiii. Why wouldn't you come over?"

"Because I'm not stupid. You are wasted – we need to sober you up. Come to my room."

"Your room?" Ooh. Finally. Already wanting to be there I ran to the door and began fiddling with the lock again.

"Yes. Don't talk to ANYONE on your way there."

"Ok! See you soon!"

I knocked on the door to Kurt's room, at least remembering a little common courtesy. My forehead rested against the wood as I waited for a reply but when nothing came I grabbed hold of the handle. He'd told me not to talk to anyone so I opened the door without a sound.

Kurt was inside, sitting on the bed. Immediately I smiled, rushing over, but when I went to kiss him he pushed me away roughly.

"Heyy!"

"You hey! Blaine!" I could tell he was angry with me, something that made me so upset I wanted to cry.

"Kurttt? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that you nearly just outed yourself to all your friends! Are you STUPID?" Had I? Oh shit, I guess I had. Suddenly I felt terrible.

"Yes. Yes I am." As Kurt saw my expression change his immediately softened.

"Oh Blaine." He reached over and handed me a glass of water, which I took gratefully, my hands shaking from the alcohol.

"What were you drinking?"

"Shots." I replied, as if that was all the explanation needed.

"Why?"

"Because without you my life sucks." It was perhaps a little honest, but I was drunk. You were always too honest when you were drunk. I knew that all too well.

"Well I'm here now." Kurt replied, bringing his hand up to rub my back gently. I shivered at the touch and looked up at him, managing to lock eye contact even through my hazy vision and sighed.

"I'm still super mad at you though."

"Oh really? Why?" I replied with a smirk. Kurt smiled back.

"You nearly ruined everything."

"Did I ruin this?" Rolling over I pressed my lips to his, almost spilling the glass of water I was still holding.

"Blaine!" Kurt protested, although he was finding it hard to fight me off. "Drink your water first." I broke away to swiftly down the rest of the drink in my hand and then tossed the empty glass onto the bed, throwing myself on top of him.

My alcohol-influenced state meant I was a lot more touchy-feely than usual – I wanted Kurt and I wanted him bad. As I fastened my lips to his I immediately let my hands travel down to his crotch and began to palm him – my boyfriend let out a moan but I bit down on his tongue to silence him.

"Ssssh." Oh Kurt. Kurt you were so hot. You were everything I ever wanted in this world and you were here and I could take you any way I wanted.

"Let me fuck you." I breathed. "I want to do it. Let me."

"No." Kurt gasped back, sounding very much like he did want me to. "Not here. Too many people…"

"Let them watch. I want them to." I palmed him again, dipping my tongue into his ear and suddenly my boyfriend was biting on my shoulder to muffle the scream.

"Blaine. Fuck Blaine…"

"So whaddaya say?" I was just about to get a response when suddenly there was a bang on the door.

"Blaaaaine?"

Shit.

Immediately Kurt was off me, almost too quickly for me to even tell him to. Both of us still had intense hunger in our eyes, but we knew what was more important now. Hurriedly looking around for somewhere to hide my boyfriend jumped into the closet and shut the door. I grabbed to cushion to hide my massive erection and then Quinn burst into the room, still just as horrendously drunk as she was before.

"There you aaaare!" Stumbling over she collapsed onto the bed, crawling over so I had to push the cushion down further, praying she wouldn't see it. "I was looking for you for agggges! You said you went to the bathhrooom."

"I did." It was ridiculously hard to get rid of the arousal, especially in my still half-drunken state. Quinn suddenly looked up at me, her gaze drunken but intense and pressed her hand to my chest.

"I want you." Oh fuck. Suddenly a body was thrown on top of me, knocking the cushion away so Quinn landed on me and squealed out in delight.

"Blaine!" Oh shit. She thought the hard on was for her. No, it was for the boy hiding in the closet. The boy that could hear all of this.

"Let's just do thisss. Let's just fucccck. We haven't in soooo long. I want you so bad." Suddenly she was stripping, right in front of me. A dress flung to the floor, corset undone. No no no. I didn't want this and Kurt certainly didn't want to hear it.

"Quinn!"

"Oh yes! Say my name Blaine! Say my name!" She was already rocking on me, grinding her hips in deeper just the way Kurt did. But there was nothing to grind back on. I had to…

"QUINN!" In a flash I sat up, throwing my girlfriend off me onto the bed roughly. She let out a cry of surprise and then looked at me in annoyance.

"Blaine! What the fuck!"

"Just get off me! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of pretending that I care about you, that I even LIKE you anymore! You're a whore!" At this Quinn looked shocked. I knew it was harsh, horrible even, but I didn't care. I should have done this a while ago.

"Blaine! Shut up!"

"No, YOU shut up! Shut up and just leave me the fuck alone!" By now I'd moved to the other side of the bed, as far away from her as possible. Her expression was unreadable – a mixture of anger, hurt and sadness.

"But I love you Blaine!"

"Well I never loved you! We are THROUGH!" At this Quinn finally got up, tears running down her face, but not of sadness. To be honest I just thought they were for sympathy.

"FINE! FINE! I DON'T NEED YOU! FUCK YOU!" Leaving her clothes behind she staggered out of the room, wrenching the door open and letting out a loud childish scream as she slammed it shut.

I lay out on the bed, Thinking about what had just happened. Quinn and I were over. I no longer had a girlfriend and a boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Immediately I flicked my eyes to the closet. I hadn't heard any movement so guessed Kurt was still hiding. Or silently crying in the corner.

"Kurt?" I asked, almost afraid of what I might hear in response. Slowly the door opened. Revealing my boyfriend looking a little shaken, but ok.

"Kurt?" I watch him stand up, close the door behind him and walk over to me.

"Let's go downstairs."

It was the top story the next day. The King and Queen of McKinley were no more. Everywhere I went I received sympathetic looks, pats on the back, even hi fives from some extremely tactless guys. I didn't care. There hadn't been a monarchy for quite a while. Really it was a relief – yes it made the pretending slightly harder, but I looked at it as a chance to finally concentrate on the relationship I wanted. The gay one.

As I sat in the cafeteria I was surrounded by girls. Tall girls, short girls, skinny girls, no so skinny girls. All of them had heard the news and they were excited. Excited that Blaine Anderson was single and they might now get a turn on the ride. Hah.

"Are you ok sweetie?" Sugar Motta was currently sitting as close to me as possible, her arm lounging over me as she rubbed my back and played with my hair. On the other side I had Brittany Pierce picking pieces of lint off my jumper and Santana Lopez was even organising my bag for me. I was surprised – I thought she and Quinn were best friends.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said, my voice void of any real emotion. As a result of all the females there was also a fairly large male contingent at my table – Sam, Mike and Rory currently having their go with the girls that hadn't managed to get close to me.

"I still can't believe she went and got with Puck straight after. What a bitch." Apparently Quinn had been so mad she'd walked into the party in her underwear literally offering someone sex – Puck had been the first guy to jump in and as a result they were possibly the only two people not here. Apart from Finn of course. I found it rather funny.

"She was never good enough for you anyway. Was she Tana?"

"Nah. You can do so much better Blaine. So much better." I ignored the obvious subtext in those words, gazing around the room for something that would occupy my mind when suddenly my phone buzzed. Aha.

"One second ladies." Stepping away from the table to many cries of 'no!' I opened the text and smiled.

Come and meet me by the science lockers

Finally someone that I wanted to see. Kurt had been surprisingly absent from the cafeteria and I hadn't heard from him all day. Quickly texting my reply of

Be right there

I grabbed my things from Santana and went off without saying another word.

I immediately felt my mood lift as I thought about my upcoming meeting. True – it was a little odd that we were meeting in the day, especially with my current high profile - but to be honest, I didn't care. The people here were boring me and I wanted someone real to talk to. Maybe once we graduated Kurt and I could get a place together, somewhere where we wouldn't have to hide, where I could talk to him any time I wanted.

I was so engrossed in my plans, walking down the corridors on autopilot, that as I turned the corner I didn't notice the figure standing next to the lockers until he was right there, his face stretched into an evil grin.

"Hello Blaine."