Nuova Luna

New Moon, Alice's Story

Author: Arwens-light

Chapter 12: Not Perfect…

Rating: M

Author's Note: AGAIN, my apologizes for not updating sooner… life moves too fast and things get in the way… I hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all. NO copyright infringement intended

My throat burned. It was a fire that started deep in my belly and quickly spread upward, wild and uncontrollable. The delicious scent filled my nose, clouding my judgment. I leaned in for a moment, lost in the ecstasy of what could satisfy my craving.

A soft sob broke my trance for a split second, pulling me back to the situation at hand. A similar image passed through my mind, taking me back to the room filled with my family and the fragile, human girl whose only mistake was to have a warm, beating heart. Except this time, it had been a box cutter to a hand, rather than a paper cut, that drew the blood. And unlike last time, I didn't have any strong emotional ties to my co-worker holding me back.

But Delilah's soft sob as she grabbed her cut hand pulled me from my daze. Blood oozed from her wound, falling thick and red as it pooled on the ground at her feet. Eric was leaning over her, pressing a paper towel to her cut, attempting to stop the bleeding. He soothed her comfortingly, wiping tears away as they fell down her face.

I uneasily rose to my feet. "I'll go get Bobbie," I muttered as I quickly made my escape.

I flew down the short hallway to the shop manager's office, the smell of blood still heavy on my mind. I knocked meaningfully on the door of the small office. The thirty-eight year old fashion designer opened her office door. "What's wrong, Christie? You don't look well…" Bobbie said, stretching out a concerned hand.

I shifted slightly away from her, not trusting myself to be able to withstand her warm touch, feeling her life-force pumping in her veins…

"I'm fine," I choked, trying not to breathe in her luscious scent. "Delilah cut herself with a box cutter. Here's a lot of blood…" I trailed off, immediately regretting opening my mouth. All I could taste now was blood. I had to leave – fast – and now.

"Ah," Bobbie said, looking as if she understood my odd behavior. "You just take a little break – go outside and get some fresh air. Eric and I will handle this situation," Bobbie said, patting me on the shoulder.

I bristled under her hot touch. I gave her a weak smile and hurried, at a human speed, to the front door of the small boutique store. Once I was safely out of sight, I slipped into the alley on the side of the shop and flew down it, weaving seamlessly through the intricate industrial maze, avoiding humans at all costs. At last, two miles away from my place of work, my feet hit the earthy floor of the surrounding forest.

Solitude and sweet relief flooded my senses as I raced through the woods. Five minutes later, I entered the clearing that surrounded Carlisle and Esme's New York home.

I could see Esme in the parlor window, gazing down at me, her expression full of concern. I smiled weakly up at her before trotting around to the front door to let myself in. The house was old, as far as houses in America are concerned. Both the interior and exterior had sustained a lot of damage from being abandoned for almost a century. However, Esme's magic was starting to work its way in. The parlor was almost completely gutted, the rotted boards torn up from the floors and walls. Esme still stood by the window, balancing on a support beam. She was covered in dirt, dust and grime from head to toe. She gently rested the hammer and crowbar she had been working with on the window sill and smoothly walked the length of the support beam to me, shutting the aged door behind her, to hide the messy room.

She wiped some dirt from her cheek before wrapping me up in a hug. I didn't mind the dirt; I had just been in the forest, jumping over steams, ducking under branches and running through thickets. Mud was splattered on my dress and was caked to my boots. My jacket had suffered a large rip on the shoulder where a branch had torn it.

Esme held me at arm's length, looking deep into my eyes. I saw my own black eyes reflected back in her shimmering golden orbs. I quickly looked away, feeling ashamed that I had allowed myself to get to this point… it had been a while since I had felt a thirst that was this strangling.

Esme dropped her hand from my arm, frowning as she gazed at me. "Would you like to go hunting?" she offered kindly, the look of concern still etched on her face. "There isn't a living human soul for miles around."

I nodded eagerly. Esme turned, her hand dropping to grab mine as she sprinted out the open front door. About ten miles north of their house, we came upon a small herd of deer. Silently, we maneuvered above them in the large pine trees to achieve the best attack position.

And then, with one smooth motion, I launched myself toward the ground and landed on the back of a young buck. He bellowed in wild terror as I grabbed his neck, flinging his thick, sturdy body to the snow-covered earth. His spine snapped and a soft gurgle rose in his throat as he shuttered a few last, dying breaths. My teeth tore through his thick winter coat to the hidden treasure beneath it. I hit his major artery and blood immediately filled my mouth, slipping over my tongue and coating my scorched throat.

I drank in the crimson liquid, relief and calm slowly settling upon me. My belly felt swollen after I had finished every last drop of blood.

I settled into the nook of a tree trunk once I had finished, sighing with contentment. Esme, who had gotten hold of a small doe, joined me. After a long time, she tilted her head toward me, the look of concern still present.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice clam and quiet.

I brushed at mud that had caked onto my tights. "It was like September, all over again. Delilah sliced her hand open with a box cutter. I saw it coming, a split second before it happened, but there was nothing I could do to stop it… she started bleeding…a lot." My mouth filled with venom at the memory and I uneasily cleared my throat. "I wasn't being careful. I hadn't been hunting in over two weeks… I was so focused on decorating the apartment and my finishing my new sketches for the shop and researching more about my niece…" I shook my head, disappointed in my lack of caution. "I'm always so careful when it comes to Jasper… I wasn't even thinking that I could…"

Esme reached over and rubbed my back lovingly. "Alice, it's okay. Nothing happened – you took yourself out of the equation before anything happened. Everything is okay…"

I brushed my fingers over my stinging eyes. "Yes," I whispered, slipping deep into thought. That is what Edward was doing – taking himself out of the equation so that Bella didn't get hurt… so that she wouldn't ever be physically harmed by any of the Cullen coven. And just like that, I felt my eyes glaze over as I was pulled painfully into the Swan residence.

Charlie was pacing back and forth in the den. A woman, whose features were strikingly similar to Bella's, sat on the old, faded sofa. Her eyes anxiously followed Charlie as his fingers raked through his dark hair. Suddenly he stopped and stomped his foot.

"That does it!" he barked, his face red. "This ends now." He abruptly turned and marched up the stairs. Renee was hot on his heels.

"Charlie, hold on a sec – she's hurting. She's trying to cope." She grabbed his arm, trying to slow him down. "Sure, I hate to see her hurting and would love her to come back with me and start over in Florida, but that's clearly not what she wants…" Charlie shook Renee off him as he reached Bella's room.

He pounded on the door with his fist, his face set in a scowl. A muttered breath said where exactly he thought that "Goddamn Cullen boy" could go.

"Charlie –" Renee barely had spoken when the father of her child began yelling through the door at his daughter. "CHARLIE. STOP. IT." Renee was giving Chief Swan an icy glare. He stopped mid-pound, fist still slightly raised. "This is not how you deal with a heart-broken teenager."

"Renee…" Charlie said, his voice thick with emotion. "I have never seen anyone look as destroyed over something as this kid – when she looks at me, her eyes are hollow and empty… she has no feelings anymore. When she talks to me, her voice is barely a whisper… and her nightmares…" he shook his head, wiping his moist eyes with the back of his hand. "I cannot do it anymore, Ree… its unbearable for me to know that she is in this must pain and there is absolutely nothing I can do to save her from it." His last words were choked with a sob.

Renee placed her hand tentatively on Charlie's shoulder, patting it awkwardly. "I'll take her back with me… I'll take care of her."

Charlie nodded silently in submission.

Renee knelt down in front of Bella's bedroom door, removing a bobby pin from her pocket. After a few minutes, she had the lock picked and she gently swung the door open.

Bella's room was dark. A small, thin figure was huddled in the desk chair, a blanket loosely gathered around her shoulders. In her hand was a scrapbook, lying open to a blank page. She was staring at the page, her expression just as empty. Renee walked softly over to her daughter, draping another blanket over her shoulders.

"Cold in here," she said lightly, sitting on the edge of Bella's bed. Charlie remained in the doorway, staring uneasily at the scene before him. Bella's expression remained unchanged. Renee slowly removed the scrapbook from her daughter's grasp. Bella finally raised dull eyes to her mother's face. Renee smiled sympathetically at Bella, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Bella, honey, your father and I talked about things and we think that it would be good for you if maybe you moved down to Florida with Phil and I…"

A spark suddenly flew into Bella's brown eyes. "No," she said firmly, turning away from her beloved mother.

Renee frowned. "Bella, you're not doing well here anymore. You need to come home."

Bella's eyes flamed in anger. "No. I am home. And I'm staying. I'm not leaving… I can't leave…" Her words came out fiercely, desperately. She looked her mother dead in the eye. "I am not leaving."

Renee frowned and finally, sighing, left the room.

Esme's hand firmly held onto mine as she waited for my vision to subside. My adopted mother looked curiously at me as my eyes and mind began to focus on my present surroundings.

"What did you see?" Esme asked.

"Bella," I breathed, my heart dropping.

I slowly, carefully recounted everything I had witnessed in my vision to Esme. After I was finished, we both sat in silence, deep in thought.

"Will you tell him?" Esme finally asked, breaking the silence. "All this time, he thinks that by leaving, he was saving her from pain, but in reality…" her voice drifted off, a look of motherly concern flooding her face.

I slowly shook my head. "I could try," I said, "but he won't answer. Right now, Edward has made the decision to be on his own, with no one else… not even us." I gave Esme a small smile. "I have hopes that he will change his mind, though."

Finally, we both stood, stretching our stiff limbs before jogging back to the Cullen house.

Esme loaned me some clothes to wear back to Ithaca and offered to drive me back to my apartment. As she drove me back toward town in the dark of night, my mind was spinning.

"May I borrow your phone, Esme?" I asked. "Mine is still at the store."

Esme nodded and handed me her small, silver cell phone.

I flipped open the tiny device and quickly dialed the number. The line crackled, rang once and then went straight to voicemail.

"Edward," I breathed, "You need to come back. Now." I paused for a moment, wondering if I should go on. But a quick vision revealed to me that no matter what I said, Edward would not come. I sighed and hung up the phone.

We rode in silence the rest of the way back to our apartment.

After we said goodbye, I trudged up the stairs. I tried to ignore the massive number of college-aged humans packed into an apartment on the first floor. I held my breath and kept walking, slightly annoyed at their loud, obnoxious and drunken behavior. I finally made it to the second floor and into the apartment. Jazz was sitting in a large chair by the window and looked up at me as soon as I entered the small living space.

Relief washed over me – I wasn't sure whose emotions they were, but I didn't care because I was finally home. I quickly crossed the room and fell into Jasper's lap, his arms immediately pulling me close. He lightly kissed the crown of my head.

"Bad day?" he asked cautiously. I nodded. "You didn't have your cell on you…" he said calmly, now that I was secure in his arms.

"I left it at work."

"Hmmm…"

I glanced at him sideways. A puzzled expression was on his face, barely masking his worry.

I sighed. "I'm not perfect, Jazz… and sometimes, days around humans are harder for me than you might think." I rubbed my nose against his.

"You're perfect to me, Alice…" Jasper said, his long fingers digging into my hair as he pulled my face to his. "You're perfect enough for the both of us." His lips met mine with a passion that sent heat to the tip of my toes. Our kiss deepened, intensifying slowly as I sought refuge from my sins in his embrace, and he gave it to me in his love.