A/N- Apologies for the long wait, everyone! I've been off doing NaNoWriMo, but at last, I finally I have time for this story again. Hooray! Thanks very much to my lovely reviewers for their patience.
Recap; Ryu finds a place to hide out with Rei at Durandal's, and together with Momo, he finally regains his resolve about Nina, deciding that he will try again to talk her out of her arranged marriage. He concocts a plan with them; that tomorrow, he will enter Castle Wyndia as a new recruit with Rei, under the spell to disguise them.
Meanwhile, Nina is cracking. Her indecision is finally showing, and she no longer knows what to do. However, time is now running out, and soon, she must choose. The middle road is no longer an option.
A Princess's Duty
XII
The Open Window
The bright morning rays shone in through the window, lighting on Nina's face. Behind her, Lyn was plaiting her hair into two braids, which she clipped into place round her head like a crown. Annie leafed through the wardrobe, chatting to herself as she rummaged through.
"How about that silk pink dress today, Princess?" she garbled happily. That one looks go----orgous on you. I just wish I had such beautiful clothes!"
Nina sat sullenly, Lyn adding the final touches to her hair. When Annie tried to suggest another outfit, Nina shook her head. "It's alright, I'll sort it out myself. Just…" she shook her head, eyes directed to the carpet. "Just leave me..."
Exchanging a glance, the two maids filed out, closing the door behind them.
Nina rose, wandering to the window, and pulling it open for some fresh air. But the breeze was still, and no wind blew in from that portent. She drifted quietly back to her dressing table, and rearranged some of the pieces of paper which had started to pile into a large untidy heap. As she did, she discovered the golden bug from Edmund's hoard, previously obscured by an old letter from a far-away noble lady. It was still sitting on her table, untouched by any dust or dirt, and glinting in the sunlight.
She picked it up, turning it over in her hands. Edmund was visiting today, she remembered. One of his pages had arrived late the previous night to inform them. The thought, however, made her feel immensely sad, although she knew it shouldn't.
Unconsciously, she pressed in the button that activated the insect, and its wings fluttering, it took to the air. For a moment, it hovered about her head, before darting to the window, and out into the sky.
"Oh!" she cried in alarm, hurrying towards the window. She caught the final glitter before it disappeared into the glare of the sun.
She backed away to the wall, and slumped down, bumping down onto the carpet. "Heh!" she said, with twisted amusement, drawing her knees close to her body, arms encircling them. "You're lucky," she whispered. "You can fly- and escape this place. My wings… they've been clipped. But I can't go back-no, I can't go back. Not now. It's too late, far far too late…"
She heard a loud knock at the door, and swiftly got to her feet, dusting her nightdress from any invisible dirt it might have collected from the ground. "Enter!" she called.
The door creaked open, and one of her mother's handmaidens entered hesitantly. "Princess…?" she said. "The Queen wants you to know that Lord Edmund has just arrived."
"Fine," said Nina, sweeping a loose lock of hair back behind her ear. "Please tell him I will be down in a few minutes."
The handmaiden left, and Nina absently opened the door of her wardrobe, rummaging through with a sigh. Suddenly, she caught a flash of familiar red. Curiously, she pulled at it, and like a vision from a dream, her old dress from her journey was in her hands. She hadn't seen it in months, as it had been slowly sinking to the back of the wardrobe. Careworn, the edges fraying, it felt unnaturally light in her hands. So smiling sadly, she replaced it on the hanger, and tucked it away, a terrible feeling of longing in her heart. Instead, she pulled out the nearest dress she saw, and slipped it on.
Nina traversed the stairs, heading down past the courtyard, where she glanced to see the captain of the guards instructing the new recruits. Ryu watched her pass, now human again, with closely cropped blond hair and handsome face, decked in the Wyndian uniform. He nudged Rei with his elbow.
"There she is."
Rei watched her glide out of sight, he too in his own disguise. "At least we know she's here," he said quietly.
The captain clapped his hands together, drawing their attention. "Alright you maggots," he called, "to your posts! More training will commence this afternoon, three sharp. You know where you're going, so get to work!"
The newly trained guards began to scatter, and Rei dragged Ryu behind a pillar to converse.
"You got a plan?" he asked.
"We can't follow Nina now, it'll be too suspicious," said Ryu, shaking his head. "We ought to stick to our posts now, and I can try to get close to her at the end of my shift."
"Alright," said Rei. "If I manage to catch her, I'll try an' find a way to get her to you." He fingered his new face, which was round, and sported permanently startled features.
Before they could say anymore, the captain spotted them shirking, and sent them packing, barking out commands to get to their designated posts.
Being new recruits, Ryu and Rei didn't yet have the privilege to guard anywhere important. Instead, Ryu was stationed outside the kitchens, with Rei upstairs outside one of the smaller guestrooms, currently occupied by a dirt-poor third cousin with a gambling addiction.
Guard duty, as Ryu swiftly found, was incredibly dull. The only amusement his peers had found was in harassing the young maids, slapping their backsides as they passed and whistling. Yes, the Wyndian Guard was a top notch establishment, very educated, oh-so cultured…
Ryu, who might have usually joined in on this harmless horseplay, found his thoughts occupied by Nina.
We're both foolish, he thought. But don't two fools belong together?
Whilst thinking this, he heard an very familiar voice from down the hallway. "Just give me a minute!" said Nina, sounding to Ryu her old strong self. But when she came into sight, Ryu realised this was far from the truth.
She seemed to be walking along in a nervous daze, half twitchy, and half lost in a dreamy world. She would walk, half float, with her face glazed, but then she would throw a sudden glance over her shoulder, eyes darting like a nervous doe's.
Nina, how could you let yourself get into this state? Ryu thought to himself.
The guards nearby were busy flirting with a blushing maid, and Ryu realised this might be his only chance to speak with Nina. As she passed him, he reached out a hand and took hold of her arm.
She turned to look at him, her big blue eyes as large as dinner plates. She clutched helplessly at his shirt, drawing closer to him.
"Please sir, you have to help me," she said madly, her whole face glittering. "I think--- I think he's going to prepose..! Oh, I am ruined. Ruined, ruined, ruined. What will I---I mean--- how will…?"
"Lambert!" yelled a voice from down the corridor. Nina pulled away looking frightened. As she hurried off a senior looking guard approached Ryu, an irritated look on his features. "Lambert, what the hell are you doing here?" he asked, looking directly at him. "You're supposed to be on patrol in the water gardens!"
Ryu, who had been somewhat put out by Nina's mad words, failed to understand what was happening. "Lambert?" he asked, looking blank.
The man slapped his face with one hand, shaking his head in annoyance. "I know you were involved in that accident, and I am glad that you apparently decided to cut your sick leave short, but if you can't even remember your own name, I think you would have done better to have stayed home."
It was then that Ryu caught on. He playfully elbowed the man in the ribs, slinging his arm round his shoulders. "Only joshing you Capt'n. I haven't really forgotten. The water gardens, yeah? I'm on it."
With it, he sidled away to the left, looking confident.
"The water gardens are the other way, Lambert," said the man, and in one fluid movement, Ryu spun around, and headed back in the other direction, whistling cheerfully.
In the water gardens, there was silence. All Ryu could hear was the sound of trickling water, and the faraway chirping of exotic birds. He meandered through the trees, till, again, he caught sight of a far more exotic and beautiful avian.
Nina was making her way through the trees, Edmund in front of her. Her heart was thudding in her chest, as though she knew, instinctively, what was about to happen. When Edmund turned to look at her, she would smile, but as soon as his eyes were diverted that smile would sag, as though the weight of the world itself was pulling her face down.
He led her through, the sound of crickets chirping in stereo. He pushed back the foliedge that blocked their way, and sunlight burst though. Ahead was the little island surrounded by water, the single bench planted in the middle of the grass like a sturdy tree. It was the place where Edmund had asked her out on their first date.
"Do you know why I asked you here Princess?" said Edmund, turning to face her, the sunlight shimmering in his tawny hair.
"I… don't know," lied Nina, her pulse quickening.
"This is the place where I begun courting you- and so, I hope, the place you'll begin your life with me."
The sound of the birds, and the crickets, and the intense heat in the air had surrounded them, encapsulating them.
Edmund got down onto one knee, and pulled an ornate jewellery box from his jacket.
"What I'm trying to say, I guess, is… will you marry me, Nina?"
The ring case snapped open, and the object inside glittered almost blindingly. It was his mother's ring that glinted in the light. He was offering the ring that meant so much to him and Frederick, all for the price of a princess's hand in marriage.
Seeing Nina's shocked look, Edmund explained.
"I was originally planning on just buying you a ring, but since you were able to find it for me… well, I realised that you must be destined for it. What do you say?"
Nina found herself quite unable to speak- her throat had closed up, and it felt as though someone had thrust a plug down her windpipe. A cold fear had filled her body; it was the cold fear for a loveless future. She wanted to run- run as far away as she could- to anywhere. Her muscles and her heart were urging her away, but her head, and the mental chains she had wrapped around herself so tightly, told her to stay.
At last, the tension and indecision overcoming her, she mumbled, "Give me a moment- I need to think," and hurried away. She didn't run, but the quickness in her step betrayed her. Hurriedly, she made her way back inside the castle.
Ryu, who had watched this whole discourse with a knotted stomach, rose from his hiding place behind the bushes. Fighting the urge to rush forward and push Edmund into the lake, he followed after Nina, her skirts sweeping along the ground urgently.
As he approached the castle, he had to slow, passing the guards posted by the door with a swift nod. By the time he had reached the courtyard, he had lost her.
So engrossed in his search was he, that Ryu had to jump when Rei tapped him on the shoulder. "I just saw Nina go past," said Rei quietly.
"Which way?"
"Up the stairs, and to the left. I'll take your place in the garden. Good luck."
Rei broke off from him, as Ryu pounded up the stairs, coming to a prettily decorated corridor that shot off in two directions. The way Nina had gone led to a dead end with two doors on either side. As he approached them, he heard the sound of rushing water, as though a tap was on full-blast. Partially disguised by this, a woman was crying.
Opening the door softly, Nina did not hear Ryu come in, nor did she notice the quiet click as he closed it behind him.
In the roomy and elaborately tiled bathroom Nina was slumped on the floor beside the basin. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she cried nosily, letting out little cries of anguish that mingled with her tears. The tap was on fully, but it could not cover the awful laments that Nina was crying.
Ryu couldn't help but feel a cold hand clutch hold of his heart. It was heartbreaking. This was not his Nina with him, but a young broken woman, literally, on her knees.
And the worst thing about it, he realised, was that she had done it all to herself.
Treading softly, he came up behind her, and touched her gently on the shoulder. She spun around as though stung, swiftly picking herself up from the floor.
"Who are you?" she asked, clumsily wiping away her tears with one hand.
Ryu felt out for the spell, and gripped it with one hand. He pulled it off from his head, leaving it lingering, so that Nina could see his true face.
"Ryu!" she cried in shock, taking a step backwards. For a few moments, she considered him, before breaking out into a quiet mirthless laugh, punctuated by a rebellious hiccup. "You really are determined, aren't you?"
Ignoring her, Ryu wasted no time. He got straight to the point. "Are you going to accept that man's proposal?" he asked her.
She turned away. "Yes. I have to," she said, her face stony.
"You don't have to do anything," said Ryu, unrelenting. "And I'm still unsure as to why you think you have to. You're a free woman- nobody has the power to force you into anything you don't want to do."
"You don't understand anything," said Nina irritably, twisting her head over her shoulder to glance at him. "A… chicken farmer…! has more freedom than me. I'm a princess, and I'm bound by my duties. Our freedom is the price we pay for our power. We've been over this before. What part of this is so hard for you to understand?"
Ryu came closer to her, so he stood inches away, almost touching her. Softly, he reached up to touch her cheek. "You may be a princess, but you are also Nina. Which one comes first?"
She pushed his hand away. "I'm known as Princess Nina. The 'princess' comes before the 'Nina'. Doesn't that give you a clue?"
"I've never been much for titles," admitted Ryu humbly. "You've always just been Nina to me. What does it matter if you're a princess or not? Noblewoman, princess, queen… you'll always be Nina underneath. That title is just a layer of gauze you're using to hide under, and it itself is as unsubstantial as air. It only exists because of the belief others hold for you."
Looking puzzled by his words, and a little touched, Nina shook her head, gathering back up her resolve. "Even- even if that was true-" she said, regaining strength, "-you would- you would do well to respect my decisions. Don't you understand what 'no' means?"
"But is it your decision, or your mother's? If I knew-wholly, and entirely- that this was what you wanted, then yes, I would respect your decision. And yes, I would leave you alone. But you've been pressured into this, and not just because of your family. You yourself have done it. Against your own will, and against common sense you have done this to yourself Nina. If I don't stop you, you'll force yourself to marry a man you don't love- and for what? Status! Respect! Just so you'll look good in society's eyes, because of some stupid predetermined social values!"
Nina turned away, indignant. "I'm not a child," she said. "I'm not so naïve that I don't know what I'm doing… I couldn't possibly expect you to understand, Ryu."
At this, fire started in Ryu's eyes, and he roughly took hold of Nina's shoulders, causing her to almost cry out. "No, you don't know what you're doing," he said coldly. "You have no idea. You've been so busy thinking of what you should do, and how you should behave, that you've lost sight of the bigger picture. Don't you know what marriage entails, Nina? It's not just a pretty dress and an 'I do'- you'll be expected to bear his children. Maybe you might have a nice wedding, and I'm sure the wedding banquet will be delicious. But afterwards, you'll be expected to retire to his room, to lie down on a cold wide bed, and to let him take you. Is that want you want?"
Nina fought back another wave of tears, feeling sick to her stomach. "You- you're just jealous," she managed to retort, gulping down her real feelings of disgust.
"Jealous?" said Ryu, his voice aflame. "Of course I'm jealous! The thought of that man, or any other- touching you!- it makes me so angry I want to kill something! Nina--- you don't understand how I feel about you…! This is madness, and this is insanity, but-!"
He paused, the electricity between them crackling, Ryu's face flushed with emotion.
"But-I love you Nina. You're the only woman I've ever said that to, and I want you to be the last…"
Silence flowed between them, Nina looking down, a thick feeling of shame in her stomach. At last, she said, "I'm sorry Ryu. I didn't realise you felt so strongly about me. But… this is just something I have to do. You're right- maybe I don't completely want it, and maybe it doesn't make much sense to you, but there's no way to avoid it now. This is the path I've chosen. I just hope… we can still be friends." She smiled hopefully at him. He moved away.
"I'm sorry Nina, it's all or nothing. If you belong to that man, then I can have nothing more to do with you. I wouldn't be able to bear it."
Nina gave a cry of pain, and rushed towards him. "But I- that isn't what I wanted!" she said, clutching hold of him. "I still want to see you! We're best friends, right?"
"If this is the path you've chosen, then you shouldn't hesitate," said Ryu. "Do you really know what you want? You've changed so much."
Her face scrunched up in anguish, and she exclaimed, "So have you! Why are you so serious?"
"There are times to be serious and times to be silly. You're a wreck, Nina."
Nina put her head in her hands, and began to cry. "I know! I know! But it's the only- the only…"
Ryu heard the heavy clanking of guards' footfalls from outside, and he knew someone was approaching. Before he left, he put a hand on Nina's shoulder as she shook, and drew close to her ear.
"I'll save you," he said. "Whether you like it or not..."
x
In the water gardens, Rei watched from a distance as Nina returned. She had freshened up, and her eyes were no longer red and puffy. She made her way over to Edmund, where he sat on the bench. He rose as she approached, and they stopped a few feet from one another.
Raising her eyes from the ground, Nina said one word. "Yes." Edmund smiled, and pulled Nina into his embrace. Then, he tilted Nina's head up to face him, and kissed her gently, his lips lingering on hers.
Rei found he had to divert his eyes- he couldn't even bear to watch.