Memoirs of Her Scent

by

Amaterasu Kinesi

(EDITED — Oct. 9, 2014)

Chapter Ten

Oral Fixation

…

I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed

(I could do most anything to you...)

Don't you breathe

Something happened, that I never understood

You can't leave

Every second, dripping off my fingertips

Wage your war

Another soldier, says he's not afraid to die

Well I am scared

In slow motion, the blast is beautiful

Doors slam shut

A clock is ticking, but it's hidden far away

Safe and sound

-Snow Patrol

Suddenly, as I held my breath and took a moment to think, the thought of willingly walking into a battlefield and fighting against a battalion felt much more appealing. Anything else sounded more appealing than standing before Bella, trying to come up with a proper, or acceptable excuse—truth was, nothing came to mind. There was no possible explanation I could offer her that would justify my being here and not leaving with the rest of my family, as I should have. That's what would be expected of me.

War seems like a piece of cake, in comparison to what I am about to do, I contemplated. Even facing my demon seemed inviting at the moment, hell.

Ignoring all thought and pushing doubt aside, I took a step that brought me closer to Bella.

"Bella…" I breathe, whispering her name. In all its contradiction, I felt with a thrashing delicacy the evident sorrow that clung and dripped from each syllable of her name as I whispered it.

"Edward, is that…" Bella's breath sounds ragged as she speaks and, gulping, I flinch at the desperate hope I hear in her tentative voice. "Is that… really you?"

"I–" Forgetting that she cannot see me, I shake my head to express the negative. For a moment, I find myself wondering how Bella could have confused my voice for Edward's.

"Edward, please…" she pleads.

Casting the fleeting thought of 'how' aside, I chance another step in her direction. This one takes me even closer to where Bella stands, almost too close. For now, she's just out of reach in the semi-darkness and thus, out of harm's way. Due to our close proximity, Bella's scent meticulously surrounds me and I am momentarily taken aback by its potency. Thinking it safer for the both of us, I decide to do away with keeping up the habitual charade of unnecessary breathing I've been perfecting around humans and stop breathing altogether.

"Bella, it's…" I clam up, unable to tell her that I'm not her precious Edward. The very notion of the pain and despair my shattering Bella's hopes would bring her, almost incapacitated me to the point of—close to, what a vampire might feel when in—physical pain.

Closing her eyes and shaking her head from side to side, Bella's lips tremble with inaudible gasps as she begins to take two steps backward for every step forward I take. Another two calculated steps followed in quick sequence and Bella matched my every move with every two backward steps of her own.

Seeing this, I realized what is happening a moment too late. She feels it, I surmise. Bella feels my power. The moment Bella's name left my lips, I started projecting my emotions like climate tides, allowing my own sorrow to reach and swoosh over her, washing over the imposing boulders of her despair.

Don't you breathe, Jasper, I tell myself and watch Bella's clumsy retreat, which causes her scent to mingle behind in a lazy and tantalizing invitation. A shaky breath slips between my lips as I wait on my prey to make another mistake and give me the opening I need to move in on my strategy, simply bidding my time.

Possible hunts flash behind my vision, honing my focused interest on the thirst I need to satiate. My tongue dances lazily over my parting lips, trying to catch a taste of that provocative scent and savor it.

Something like a purr sounds deep in my throat as I savor the scent I hunger for, audible euphoria…

As Bella turned away from me and her fragile frame wavered as she desperately felt for the wall behind her in search of the light switch, giving me her back and a perfect opportunity for the predator in me to attack, I realized that it hadn't been only her who had made a mistake. The moment this realization sank in, I stopped–pardon the pun–dead on my tracks. Afraid to make any sudden movement or even attempt to fake another breath, I froze.

Bella had not confounded our voices, I grasped. That wasn't the case at all. No, unknowingly, Bella had been hearing what I knew she wanted to hear and what I had allowed her hear—Edward's unmistakable voice.

Inadvertently, I had coated myself in Edward's feelings for Bella and mimicked his voice in an erroneous attempt to assuage and appease her obvious despair. Thus, resulting in my grave mistake. A miscalculation—an indiscretion—one that I rarely committed when dealing with people who took to drowning in their own despair.

Great. Jasper, you are an ingenious genius, I berated myself. Of all things I could have done… Had I not come here to somehow mend and comfort her? Yet, the first thing I do might actually break her.

"Please, please, Edward… Just wait, don't leave me again…"

Bella's broken words stop me mid decision and I turn my resentful gaze on her, feeling jilted. Just when I had made up my mind to let things be and escape into the night without a trace, she had to open her mouth and fill me with doubt again. On the other hand, I note that Bella has finally found what she'd been looking for.

A moment later, a very loud flick disturbs the previously quiet darkness with a brush of Bella's hand. As light inundates the room and takes away the comfort of shadows, I feel myself begin to panic and my feet do the opposite of what I want, taking root on the floor of Bella's bedroom instead of carrying me far from here.

Despite my wanting to run and hide, I could not. Instead, I was tortuously suspended in bated breath. Bracing myself, I held my breath as Bella's hand left the light switch with a slight tremor and she turned my way, pressing her back against the wall for support. Waiting, I watched as her downcast eyes finally lifted and sought me out–well, Edward.

The moment our eyes met, I saw that Bella's eyes were drowning in tears and her face flushed, while she remained ingrained to the wall supporting her weight and shock ran through her in shivers. Right then, by the looks of it, I couldn't help but think that Bella probably saw me as her worst nightmare.

For a comic moment, I felt like I was cornered prey and Bella was the predator.

The imagery is so preposterous I want to laugh, only the look of disbelief in Bella's face as she stares at me and the barely contained hope I feel from her stops me from laughing. Right now, humor has no place in this situation. Something that is made evident the next second, as some kind of shadow jaunts across the berth of Bella's earthy doe-eyes and dulls the brightness that hope had lit from within.

The moment her sense of sight processes who I am, Bella's breathing accelerates and becomes labored, and as reality takes its toll on her, I can almost see the wheels of her mind rejecting what her eyes are showing her. Strongly, I feel the slam of her emotional denial and almost stagger under its weight,

Once again, I wait. Wait for Bella to snap out of it, then for the cursing, screaming, kicking, and hitting to start. As time lags, I wish for Bella to get it over with and shout at me, demand that I get out of her house and never to return again. Perhaps, what I am truly waiting on is for Bella to start throwing things and blaming me for what transpired between Edward and her in the last few hours. It would be within her right to place that blame on me, sick as the thought makes me.

Either way, I remain waiting.

However, none of the things I envision Bella doing in retribution come to pass. Coming to the conclusion that it might never happen, I find myself needing to hear any form of insult or screaming from Bella, rather than continuing to be subjected to this silence where I don't know what she is thinking or where I stand with her. Silence is deafening and maddening in my opinion, something I have not learned to deal with well.

Another bated breath, while the seconds continue to tick by, and neither of us dares to utter a word. Catching a movement, my eyes follow the trajectory of Bella's trembling hands as they slowly move, seemingly of their own accord, until her fingers nervously clutch at the fabric of her shirt over her abdomen. Following the action, Bella's body slightly doubles forward as if she's in pain.

Hesitating, I make to catch Bella before she crumbles and then stop myself as she pins me with her gaze once again. In that instant, Bella looks like she might throw up and then, the moment passes but all I see is her strength and determination.

Throat as dry as parchment, I swallow hard, several times, and try to douse Bella's and my combined bile, growing with my resentment for this prolonged apprehension. One of us has to break this silence and it can't be me, I wager. It feels like an eternity has gone by, before Bella finally decides to take pity on me and makes a sound, though only I can be certain that it has actually been a five seconds elapse.

"Jasper?" Bella manages the question on her second attempt, disbelief sizzling from her very pores.

"Yes, Bella?" I croak nervously in response. My eloquent mannerisms momentarily abandoning me, of course, when I need them most. I wanted to ram my head into a wall, or maybe get ripped apart by a rouge vampire. Take your pick.

Running a hand through my blond hair nervously, I chance a small but timid smile in her direction. Though, I think it might have come out as more of a grimace. However, that seems to do the trick with Bella. Visibly and emotionally, I feel and watch as Bella's tension leaves her and she allows herself to relax, though her shoulders still sag with the lone weight of warring sorrow she's baring.

"Is it… Where?" Silently, I watch as Bella struggles with what to say or ask as her breath catches and quickens, causing my vision to become blurred as everything around me starts to spin. Staggering, I try to concentrate on Bella and attempt to bring things back into focus.

As the spinning comes to a halt, I see that Bella's still looking at me, without really seeing me, and that her chest is rising and falling with the effort it is taking her to keep on breathing through the pain in her chest. While I numbly watch Bella struggling for her next breath, fatigue creeps along her pale neck and upwards with a stronghold, coloring the column of her throat an alluring rosy shade. Languidly, its trajectory continues on steadily, like crawling crimson fingers that linger with color along Bella's pale skin and obstructs the air right out of her lungs, which causes the skin over the apples of her cheeks to flush, tempting me further.

Abruptly, I take a step back in an attempt to escape her allure. However, knowing that I could not leave Bella in the state she's in, though doing so sounded tempting, since it would serve the purpose of taking me further from the succulent banquet she represented – concentrated blood flooding and crawling at her air supply, spellbinding my ears into listening to its furious song, which only orchestrated in my ears.

Panic enveloped me.

Naturally, I could see myself… Walking right up to Bella and making all her sorrow and despair melt away with the aid of my power. A well-directed surge of influence and a single touch of trust would do the trick for Bella. Easily, I could cocoon Bella into a false sense of security that would warrant her ultimate trust in me and then, the ditties eluding from the blood in her veins would become an orchestra of tantalizing dancers, dancing silkily above the palate of my tongue and down my throat…

Yes, I could just taste it.

Want it…

A shiver runs through my body as I fist my hands and with what little of my self-control I have left, I shake the predatory visions away from my mind's eye. Bella needs me right now, I try to remind myself, as much as I needed her blood-

Jasper, focus! I inwardly hiss.

Trying not to think of the taste of Bella's lingering scent, which had tantalized the tip of my tongue moments earlier, when I'd inadvertently inhaled an intake of breath, I clamped my mouth shut. With some difficulty, I try to focus on Bella's eyes instead of her flushed face and attempt to cage the demon within me. All the while trying to see Bella, really see Bella as a probable friend and not a source of sustenance.

Once I see how blurry Bella's eyes are with tears, I regain some of my humanity back and my demon relents the power struggle, allowing me to be in control once again. As I poke at Bella's emotional defenses, I become aware of the fact that she's still seeking for answers to the questions that are swimming within her teary eyes and it saddens me, for these are answers that I cannot give her.

Instead, of trying to speak and reason with Bella, I try to go with the route I am more familiar with to deal with the issue at hand. Emotions are my strong point, so I naturally try to aid Bella and myself by overpowering the effect her emotions are having on me. Producing calmness and tranquility, finally, I am the one in control of the room.

Now, to truly aid Bella… even if it will not be welcomed, I must try. Grasping at any emotion or sentiment I can manipulate, I reach out to Bella with my power. My goal is not to tame the tempest, but simply to tranquilize the spiraling chaos within her and provide some relief.

"Stop it," Bella warns a moment later, shaking her head from side to side and narrowing her eyes. Bella's reproachful eyes almost make me cave to her wish, but I cannot and so, I press on. "Don't– Jasper, this pain is…"

"I'm sorry…." I apologize, but keep on intruding.

If I stop now, I rationalize, it is possible that Bella might recent me less later on. Yet, if I do stop altogether, there's a possibility of Bella not being able to breathe on her own and there probably won't be a 'later on' if I don't ignore her request. Given the odds, I decide that I won't have Bella's blood on my conscience, too.

Suddenly, Bella's knees give as she attempts to push away from the wall and she's falling. Afraid that I will not be able catch her in time, even with the advantage of my heightened speed, I move to stop Bella's fall without conscious thought.

The instant I become aware of Bella's warmth radiating against my own contradictory body temperature, I tense. Looking down and staring into Bella's earthy brown eyes, I do my best to support her weight in my arms and not bruise her in the process.

Frowning like she's trying to make sense of what just happened, Bella's eyes remain focused on mine and her perplexed gaze is arresting. So much so that when her warm breath fans over my face, my eyelids flutter closed in hypnotized unawareness and I lean into Bella, my demon once again taking away some of my control.

"Jasper," Bella breaths, awe tangling her words with a sort of frantic allure. "Jasper."

My name finally registering through the haze of Bella's scent, my eyes flutter open and it is as if I've been rudely awakened from a fitful dream. Hating how out of control I feel around Bella, I let a low growl rip itself from the deepest part of my throat and detach myself from her with a hissed curse, intending to run – like a wise man might run from temptation.

"Oh!" The abruptness of my actions send Bella tumbling all over again and she lets out a startled gasp. Once again, I act without thinking and move, coming to her rescue.

Taking me by surprise with her impulsive actions, Bella touches my face in an attempt to prove that I am not, in fact, a figment of her imagination or momentary insanity. Taken so off guard by Bella's brazen candidness, I am left with no time to react or disengage myself from her grasp and inquisitive touch.

The warmth of Bella's unexpected embrace envelopes me as she traces her fingertips along my jawline, silently taking the comfort she sought after without asking, and providing me with a comfort I didn't know I was after. Due to the intensity with which Bella holds my gaze, I can tell that her eyes are demanding a promise from me and without realizing why, I want to give her my word.

"I'm here," I whisper, a promise made. Methodically, I caress Bella's hair as she buries her face against the crook of my neck in relief. "I'm here…"

"Thank you, thank you…" Overwhelmed by her own reprieve, Bella clings onto me while I hold her frail and trembling body in my arms as her tears soak through my shirt. Like this, mangled as it is with unbelievable anguish, her scent is overpowering in a different way.

Feeling what Bella is feeling, I fleetingly wonder how someone like her, seemingly as breakable as glass and prone to fate's mortality, could feel so strongly without falling apart.

"It's okay, I'm here now." For a long moment, I just stood there, trying to maintain all of Bella from falling apart. But the more I comfort Bella, the more incessant her sorrow grows and I begin to feel inutile, thinking I might not be doing enough after all. Even though I hope for my comfort to be sufficient, Bella's reactions show me otherwise.

Still, I hope.

Unaware of when I had last hoped for anything, I marvel and mull it over for a length of time and decide that, in the end, the answer doesn't matter. Peeking down curiously at Bella, who had quieted down a while ago along with her drying tears, I hold her at arm's length and wonder about how to make things right with her.

A million questions that I want to ask Bella run through my mind and yet, I decide against asking any of them. Simply, I decide to ask a silent question instead. Glancing from Bella to her bed with a questioning brow, I jerk my head in the general direction of the bed. Understanding, Bella nods, offering her consent.

Mindful of her fragility, I make sure that Bella can stand on her own two feet without leaning against me before putting some distance between us and gesture for her to lead the way. Grateful for my aid, Bella offers me a tentative smile that I can't force myself to reciprocate. Instead, I nudge Bella gently in the direction of her bed and follow behind at a safe distance when she obliges.

As Bella slides under the covers obediently and lays down, her eyes remain trained on me. Though I see and understand the questions she wants to ask but doesn't, I pretend not to.

"Goodnight," I mumble, readying to leave Bella to her cloudy thoughts and escape for the night.

"Jasper, wait." Aggravated, I wait. "Didn't you come here to talk?"

"We'll talk tomorrow."

"Jasper?" Bella speaks my name haltingly as I turn, intent to jumping out her bedroom window, an edge of hysteria and desperation evident in her tone.

"Bella?" Frowning, I look down at where her trembling hands had reached for mine and grasped my wrist, effectively stopping my swift retreat. She is so… warm.

"Please don't, I'm afraid… If you go, Jasper…" she chokes on a sob, looking like a lost child. "Don't go…"

Seeing the tears welling up in her eyes once again, I hesitate for a fraction of a second and catch them before they can spill further down her rosy cheeks. Leaning into the touch, Bella's hand hovering over my wrist, keeping me close and reluctant to let go.

"Hush… don't cry, I'm here. I won't leave you," I whisper, trying to sound reassuring, despite how uncertain I actually feel.

"Really?"

"If you'll have me, Bella, I'm here for you." Promises that I know I can keep roll off my tongue as I try to reassure Bella of my honesty. Gathering Bella in my arms, I sit on her bed and gently place her in my lap with her back against my chest, caging her in comfort once more.

As Bella's uncertainty levels drop, my own levels of trepidation scale without consent. Fear was taking a hold of me and with good reason. I was afraid. Terrified that I would fail to cage the demon within me when it sprouted its evil head, which would happen every time a breeze blew the wrong way, hoisting Bella's scent straight at me and offering me a savory taste of its faint promise of liquid sin.

Swallowing with difficulty at the thought, my mouth amalgamates with venom and it takes a herculean effort, acidic in its exertion, to rid myself of the idea. Realizing how volatile I am around Bella, I know that I need to find a way and run from the temptation this human girl presents without causing her more damage.

"Jasper?" As Bella's voice brakes through my efforts and I feel my sanity and control slipping from my grasp, I stiffen upon hearing the triumph in the laughter that echoes from within just as my demon declared victory and I realized that I was about to fail… "Jasper?"

No, I was still in control; I would still be in control.

Sharply, I turn my attention on Bella – for she had been examining my every reaction – and swallowed a guttural growl before it could even escape me. I saw Bella flinch, fearful, but as I channeled into her fear I realized that she was afraid for me and not for what I may do to her, like she should have been.

Once again, I could not help but marvel at how brave Bella was. Though some of that bravery, I challenged, might be due to some sort of stupidity, but I could not be sure.

"Jasper, are you still here?" Bella questions, maneuvering around in my lap to face me and waving a hand in front of my face. However, she got no reaction from me, other than a blank stare. Placing her palms on either sides of my face, Bella whispered my name a second time more urgently and that simple action jolted me back.

"Yes, yes…" I blink, slowly coming around before Bella decides to do something drastic and idiotic. This human is so damn confusing. "I'm here. What was that you asked?"

"Is he–" Bella hesitates, releasing her hold on me to hug herself. "Is everyone else… gone?" I flinch as she whispers the very last word, almost cowering at the thought.

"Yes." I answer vaguely, barely above a whisper, hoping Bella will not hear. Not daring to look at her to actually find out, I stare out Bella's window and try to find something to focus my glance on. Anything other than Bella would do.

"Where?" Shuddering and stiffening within my grasp, Bella barely managed the word. She heard me, after all, I surmise.

"They all left," I continued to explain, resigned, "though I can't be certain where. We had packed everything, but we hadn't chosen a destination before I decided to come here."

"Even Alice?"

"Alice too." I nod, suddenly feeling my mate's loss, somewhere deep within me. Bella felt it, too, I was sure. Just as Bella felt some sort of betrayal from Alice's disappearance, she was feeling Alice's loss.

"Why are you the only one here, Jasper?" she finally questioned, bringing to light the question I had hoped Bella would avoid.

"You know, I…" Not knowing how to answer, I allowed my words to trail off and remained quiet. Truth be told, I wasn't even sure. In fact, I had yet to figure out the 'why' behind my decision. After all, there has to be a reason for which I'd opted to leave everyone I love behind and instead, came to the rescue of this one human whom I barely know.

"Did– did he send you here?" Anger rolled off Bella at the thought and seeing that kind of furious spark within her eyes fascinated me. "Was it you, Jasper, the one who took his pictures away?" she demands, taking a hold of my face in between her hands and attempting to force me to look at her.

Allowing Bella's indiscretion, I play along, turning my face just the way she wants me to, and stare at her face. Looking at Bella, I see that her face is stained with tears once more and frown, not liking the sight of her tears. Needing a distraction, I indulge her accusation.

"Pictures…?" I shake my head in a clear negative. Satisfied and destroyed by my answer. Bella's defenses go down and I helplessly watch her crumble deeper under the weight of her newly increased anguish.

"Why, why… Jasper, why did he have to do this to me?"

"Bella, darlin'," I plead, "don't do this to yourself."

"But I can't think of anything else… I know I've never been enough, but this is too cruel!"

"Don't." I say firmly, trying to steady her emotional turmoil and failing. "Look, darlin', I wish I had answers, but I don't." Smiling weakly, I press my palm to Bella's warm cheek. "I don't even know why I'm here with you… I just thought," I shrug, "that maybe I could do something for you and somehow help you…" I thumb Bella's warm tears as they spill and when she looks up at me, her gaze is penetrating, gauging my sincerity and I wait for her judgment. Remained silent, finally, she nods her acceptance.

"Thank you, Jasper," Bella whispers after a long pause, still staring at me, as more of that liquid sorrow makes its mark down the slope of her cheeks and onto my shirt, scenting me with her unique smell. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Bella," I assure her. "I want to be here."

Mustering up all the sense of comfort at my disposal, I hold Bella close and find myself thinking of Alice. Wondering if Alice had been surprised by my decision to stay behind or if she had seen one of her visions the moment I'd made my choice. If so, that vision must have allowed Alice to leave, assured in the knowledge that I would not harm Bella for the time being.

"You don't need to be," Bella points out, sounding exhausted and momentarily distracting me from thoughts of Alice. Though I want to know what else Alice might have seen in her vision and explore the origin behind her lingering feelings of insecurity, which had accentuated her reluctant departure, I decide that Alice can wait and focus on Bella once again.

"You're right," I agree. Bella holds her breath, heart thudding with dread. "But I want to be." Sighing with relief, Bella sags against me and chuckles humorlessly, mumbling unintelligible things under her breath. "You should get some sleep," I suggest, sounding a little too hopeful.

"Will you be here when I wake?" Bella asks, momentarily panicking as she holds onto my forearms when I make a move to stand, an instinctive attempt to restrain me.

"Yes," I promise and she calms, letting go. "Now, go to sleep."

"I'll try," she says, shivering with cold.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, feeling slightly bashful because of something I can't remedy. "No, it's okay," Bella refutes, dismissing my apology. "I'm already used to it."

"Maybe you should get under the covers?" I offer a beat later. Feeling dumb, dense, and strangely uncomfortable by her response. "Since I'm always cold…"

I did the only thing I could do, nod and drape a sheet around her to provide her with some sort of warmth. I knew what she meant, and it somehow made me uncomfortable, like I was intruding somehow, she was used to it because of Edward. Edward seemed to always be touching her one way or the other, be it holding her hand or an accidental brushing of arms. I admire his control, it was I and I could barely withstand being here with her. Not to mention I was not even breathing, or relaxed.

"I make you uncomfortable," Bella observes, a small frown appearing and tugging down at both ends of her mouth. For a moment, I almost give into panic and then, realizing it is not a becoming reaction or one I would express under normal circumstances, I promptly ignore it. Instead, I opt for candidness.

"I'm not used to being at such close proximity to a human for a long extended period of time without… you know."

Blushing, Bella docks her head, hiding behind her dark hair, and nods her understanding. Her innocuous action pull a silently hissed curse out of me. Captivated by the sudden and succulent rush of adrenaline I can sense rushing just beneath the surface of Bella's tender flesh, perfectly in concert with the accelerated thudding of her pumping heart, I can hear her blood calling out to me in a loud and teasing song of temptation.

"Oh, God, Jasper, I…" Feeling the tension of my body under hers, Bella examines my face, eyes large, and apologizes profusely as she futilely tries to undo the blush coloring at her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry, I–"

"Bella." I say, sounding harsher than I intended to as I cut Bella's rambling apologies off. "Sleep, please," I add, softening my tone as best I can.

"Right," Bella says slowly, scampering off my lap and almost falling face-first on the floor, before motioning for me to stand and wait. Obliging, I stand and observe Bella's every clumsy move with a mounting degree of amusement as she loiters around her bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I wonder aloud, almost chuckling. Amused, I realize that Bella is purposely and completely ignoring me, which amuses me further when she continues doing so by not answering my question.

"Turn around," she orders quietly, hands on her hip. Raising a questioning brow, I do as instructed, not really understanding what was going on anymore. However, I still had some common sense and courtesy, therefore, I was not about to start asking question. Humans. Female humans, I amend.

"It is nice, not wanting to kill you and all. Difficult as it is," I admit offhandedly, trying to fill in the silence and earn myself a watery laugh from Bella for my effort. Memorizing the sound of her laughter, I sigh, finally feeling like I had done something for Bella.

"Indeed, not being attacked is nice."

Listening to the sounds of Bella rummaging about her bedroom, opening and closing drawers, followed by the slight rustle of clothing being pulled off and on over skin, I could just envision her hair cascading in heavy waves down her back and inhale the air, now perfumed with her distinct scent of freesia. Before I realize what I'm doing, I tilt my head back on my neck and euphorically inhaling deeply, tasting the air experimentally with my tongue and absorbing the warmth of Bella's rich aroma. Hunger coating my mouth in venom, I feel its caress along my tongue as it flickers out and moistens my lips with the nectar that promises death to the prey that falls victim to my predatory game.

"You can turn around now, Jasper," Bella announces, unknowingly saving her own skin. Bella's words had brought me back from the brink, successfully caging the greater demon of the two, when I had been on the verge of relenting control to the restless predator. Doing as Bella had ordered, I realize that Bella had changed into something more comfortable and flimsy for sleep.

"I've turned around," I mumble, averting my eyes from Bella's immodesty. Here I go, stating the obvious. Nice going, Jasper.

"Right," Bella says self-consciously, as my eyes stray back to her and I stare at her. Turning to hide her blush from me, Bella hits the light switch and turns off the lights. As Bella finds her way to bed in the darkness without my input, I rummage a frantic hand through my tousled hair and avert my eyes from her silhouette.

"All set?" I ask, hearing the flutter of Bella's bed sheets.

"Almost," she replies and, out of the corner of my eye, I see Bella slide into bed without incident. Once she's in bed, I hear Bella pat the empty space next to her invitingly and when I look, her body is modestly shielded from my view under the covers and I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I'd been holding. "Lay with me?"

"Uh…" I hesitate, and seeing Bella's pleading wide eyes, I know I can't deny her this request. "Sure," I grit out against my better judgment.

Taking a breath, as if I'm readying myself for a long battle ahead, I walk over to the bed and lie next to Bella. Scooting over without so much as touching an inch of me, Bella rests her head on what should be my pillow and closes her eyes with a heavy sigh, wafting me with a huff of her scent against my neck.

This is going to be a very long night, I bemoan and shiver slightly. Honestly, I refuse to believe that I'm asking for much. Therefore, Bella, please show me that I have a right to hope for the better and survive this night without further tempting my control.

Just until morning comes, that's all I ask.