Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

Love and thanks to arfalcon, she's the best.

~November~

Black.

Wool, speckled with white snowflakes.

Lingering briefly before melting into the fabric of Isabella's coat.

I take her hand and lift her out of the trap and into my arms.

My bride.

I pull away to look into her eyes. I have to ask again.

"Are you sure?"

She takes my hand and places it over her heart; its steady beat reassures me before her words do.

"I've never been more certain of anything. My life is with you now. Forever."

Forever. I don't know if her idea of forever is the same as mine, but it doesn't matter—I'll take whatever she is willing to give me.

I smile and offer her my arm. Together, we walk up the steps to the courthouse.

One hour later, we emerge, husband and wife.

When we reach the sidewalk, I wrap my arms around her waist and spin her around. She's laughing, I'm laughing, and the people who pass us on the street are smiling.

I'm delirious with happiness.

After so many years, I believe there must be a God after all.

Isabella and I spend our first few hours of married life strolling the streets, holding hands and peering into shop windows. She rejects my offer to buy whatever catches her eye, insisting she doesn't need anything.

"Am I not allowed to spoil my wife with gifts?" I ask, circling my arms around her waist.

"You spoil me enough already," she says, but her eyes are fixed on the display window of the shop in front of us.

I follow her gaze to a dress gracing a mannequin in the corner of the window.

"Do you like that dress? It would look exquisite on you."

Isabella nods. "I've always loved that particular shade of green."

"Let me buy it for you. As a wedding gift."

"But I have nothing to give you!"

"Nonsense. You agreed to be my wife, that's the only gift I need." I pause, my licentious thoughts getting the better of me. "Besides, the dress will be a gift for me, too.

"How so?" she asks, laughing.

"I'll be able to see the lovely flush of your skin when I take it off you," I whisper into her ear.

I close my eyes and relish her reaction to my words. Hearing the sounds, feeling the physiological changes only a human body undergoes, I focus on her allure.

Human…

I've found my thoughts wandering lately to other possibilities, other scenarios.

Would she want that? Unlike what happened to me, Isabella would have a choice.

Could I do it? Take her life, her soul, even though she might think that's what she wants?

"Edward?" Isabella's voice draws me from my internal debate.

"I'm sorry, I was deep in thought."

She reaches up and smoothes my brow. "What were you thinking about?"

"You," I say, gathering her in my arms. "Always you."

Stars peek from behind breaking clouds; the moon soon joins in their celestial game. Dark and light at the same time, much like my existence.

But light is prevailing.

The crunch of wheels on snow cuts through the silence of the woods. Isabella is quiet, wrapped in a blanket and pressed into my side.

"Are you tired?" I ask when we arrive home.

"A little."

"Come inside. I'll light a fire and you can warm yourself with a cup of tea."

I take her hand and lead her to the house. When we get to the door, I pick her up and she laughs when I carry her across the threshold.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Cullen."

"Mrs. Cullen," she repeats. "It has a lovely ring to it."

"Mmm, I agree," I say, kissing her before finally setting her down. The feel of her body sliding down my own further ignites my growing excitement. I want nothing more than to pick her back up and carry her into the bedroom. Slowly unwrap her and replace her clothes with my body.

"Now then, shall I make you that cup of tea?" I ask, busying myself with lighting the oil lamp on the table beside the door instead of ravaging her on the spot.

"Actually, I don't believe I want tea." She comes up behind me, her body grazing mine. "I think I'd like to go to bed," she says quietly. "Will you join me, husband?"

Desire beats inside my chest. I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath, savoring her scent.

Commit this moment to memory.

I turn around and gaze into her eyes. "Yes."

Isabella retreats down the hall and I follow her to the bedroom. When we enter, she walks to the bed and sits on the edge, bending over to unbutton her shoes. I place the lamp on the dressing table and turn to the wood stove to start a fire. Once my task is complete, I turn back around to find Isabella still sitting on the edge of the bed. Moonlight streams through the window, gracing us with heavenly light.

We stare at each other for a few moments, the room filling with intense anticipation. Without a word, Isabella stands and turns her back to me. I watch transfixed as she slips her dress off her shoulders, as her petticoat falls to the floor.

She reaches up and loosens her hair, allowing it to cascade past her shoulders and down her back. Clad only in her camisole and knickers, she turns to face me and my breath catches. The moon casts its silvery glow on her pale skin, lending her an almost otherworldly appearance.

"You are so beautiful," I say as I walk toward her.

She closes her eyes as I reach out and caress her naked shoulders, watching in fascination as the straps slip down her alabaster skin; I'm still in awe that she's mine. I brush my thumbs across her breasts, drag my fingers down her stomach. Reach around and trace the curve of her bottom through thin fabric, my hands shaking with desire.

I thank God for taking pity on my cursed existence and sending me this angel. I only hope I'm worthy of His gift and that I have the strength to temper my bloodlust.

I look up at her face again, her head tilted back, mouth slightly parted and another flush of want washes through me. I can't wait to feel her stretched out underneath me. I need to feel myself inside her.

The smell of her blood is spiked with her own arousal, its heady aroma made more potent by her exposed skin. It pulses against the walls of her vessels, a seductive call playing to my most primitive of urges.

She kisses me, pulls me close.

Touches me...

"Isabella," I groan, pulling away, needing to explain how I feel. "Your blood tonight—it's tempting me beyond reason. I'm struggling to be good, but it's so damn hard."

"You won't hurt me. I feel it, here," she says, taking my hand and placing it over her heart.

I hope she's right. I want to believe my love for her is greater than my desire for her blood.

I sweep her up and carry her to the bed, laying her down gently. She holds her arms out, knowing what I am, yet still wanting me. That knowledge stirs something primal inside me.

Lowering myself over her, I test the limits of my nature on her welcoming body.

Lick her wrist.

Nuzzle the crook of her elbow.

Draw her nipple into my mouth through the cotton covering her breast.

Kiss her bare knee.

Slip my fingers between her legs...

Come undone over her gasps of pleasure.

Buttons are released, drawstrings are loosened and clothing is discarded.

Isabella and I are on our knees, facing each other.

"Isabella, I—"

"I trust you," she says.

And she does. I see it in her eyes. Feel it in her touch.

I stroke her cheek with my fingers. "I love you," I say and she falls back, pulling me with her. Isabella opens herself to me and I settle between her legs. Desire has heightened the sweet smell of her blood to a dangerous level, so with one last swallow of venom, I banish the urge to bite to the deepest recesses of my mind.

I take her hands and raise them over her head, entwining my fingers with hers.

"I love you," she whispers before I finally, finally push into her.

God...

Heat like I've never felt before spreads throughout my body. Seeps into my bones and warms me from the inside out.

I gaze into her eyes in wonder and by the way she is staring at me, I know she feels it, too.

"Edward, oh...I never knew..."

"Isabella, you feel—" I start before she silences me with her mouth.

Every inch of my skin comes alive from her touch. I press deeper, needing to feel closer, wanting to crawl inside her. I'm swept away by the sight of her face, the soft sounds spilling from her lips, the intensity of our connection.

I don't want this feeling to end. But my body craves release, so I speed up, grunting toward relief. My efforts are frenzied, part man, part beast, but I stay in command. My fervor seems to excite Isabella and I'm desperate for her to let go. I reach down to touch her and she moans and falls apart, beautiful and erotic in her loss of control. I bury my face in her neck and crying out her name, my body surrenders to ecstasy.

Afterward, as we lie wrapped in each other's arms, I realize that not once during our lovemaking did I think about her blood.

I smile and tuck her in closer.

Salvation has finally come to me.

Some hours later, I prop myself on my elbow, staring down at Isabella, willing her to awaken so I can love her again. Time creeps by as I fight the urge to touch her.

When she finally stirs, I pull her sleep-warmed body against mine, drowning in her dizzying aroma.

"Please," I beg, my hands hungry as they move all over her skin, touching, stroking.

"Yes," she answers, and I roll on top her, groaning low and long when I enter her. I take my time and love her slowly, deeply, never wanting this feeling to end. Words of endearment spill from my lips and tumble onto her cheek, her neck, her shoulder. She chants my name over and over in time with our rhythm and all too soon we both cry out in pleasure, breathless and spent.

I fall onto my back and Isabella curls up next to me. She swirls her fingers in an idle pattern back and forth across my chest, lulling me into a trance-like state.

"I'm so happy," she says after a few minutes. She lifts up to look at me and her hair spills across my torso, making me want her again.

I reach out and stroke my fingers through her hair. "Beautiful Isabella. You don't know how long I've waited for you."

She crawls up my chest, her touch burning a trail along my skin.

"Tell me," she says, her lips warm against mine.

"The first moment I saw you, I thought I had stumbled into a dream. Your dark hair was so vivid against your white cape. Then I caught a glimpse of your face and I felt all the air rush out of my lungs. I desired your blood, but was smitten by your beauty."

I take hold of her waist and pull her on top of me. Her hair encloses us further into our own private world.

"The first time I touched you, I marveled at the softness of your skin." I run my fingers along her cheeks, down her sides and up her back. "I fantasized about how soft your bare legs would feel, how the nape of your neck would smell, how sweet your flesh would taste under my tongue."

"Oh," she whispers, her heart quickening, her hips pushing into mine.

I sit up, taking her with me, holding her close.

"But then I discovered your intelligence, your strength, your compassion…" I say, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "And your heart…" I lay my hand over her right breast. "And that's when I fell in love with you."

"Edward," she breathes, her eyes wet with unspilled tears. She raises herself slightly, and when we join together, we love each other unhurried, face to face before the burgeoning dawn.

November passes by quickly now that Isabella and I are man and wife. We spend the days preparing for a winter that has yet to show her strength. Our nights—and often times our days—are spent in bed, laughing and loving. My desire for her has only increased and Isabella matches my appetite with unbridled enthusiasm.

She doesn't question me when I take to the woods by myself. Hunting is a harsh reminder of what I am—and what Isabella is not. We've yet to speak of what the future holds for us, so I push it to the back of my mind. Some day…but not yet, not when we're so damn happy.

I've neglected my thirst the past few days, so while Isabella is curled on the sofa, lost in a book, I slip out of the house to hunt. Before too long, I hear and smell my prey; it's not at all what I was expecting.

Ahead of me, in the clearing, stands a large bull moose. I haven't seen one in the area in several years and I smile in anticipation. I creep silently to the edge of the field, offer my thanks as well as my forgiveness and give chase. The great beast is fast, but no match for my own speed. Within seconds, I have him down, steadying his thrashing antlers as I pierce his flesh. He puts up a mighty fight and jerks his head wildly, blood spurting onto my face. I cover the gaping wound with my hand, allowing a trickle to seep through my fingers and into my greedy mouth. Using every ounce of my strength, I hold him in place and with one last mournful bellow, he succumbs. As soon as I feel his heart stop beating, I remove my hand and drink.

His taste is a pleasant change from my usual fare and I close my eyes, relief washing through me as his blood slides over my tongue. He is a large animal, more than enough to slake my thirst. Despite my fullness, I drink on, not wanting to waste any of his precious elixir.

Lost in a near drunken state of satisfaction, I don't hear her approach. Surrounded by fresh blood, I don't smell her presence. But something makes me open my eyes and when I do, she's standing a few feet from me, watching me.

I rise and wipe my blood-covered mouth with my sleeve. I know by the expression on my face that she finally sees what I am. I wait for her to speak.

"I…I wanted to see what it was like," she says. "Ever since my dream, I can't stop thinking about it. Can't stop thinking about watching you while you're…" Her voice trails away, but I know what she wants to say.

"Feeding?" I start toward her. "That's what it is, Isabella." She doesn't say anything, just continues to stare at the slaughtered carcass. I wonder if she finally understands the truth of what I am.

"Is it what you expected?"

She shakes her head slowly.

"There's nothing civilized about it, is there? It's animal instinct, pure and simple."

"I'm your wife, Edward, I pledged myself to you. I want to know everything about you."

"Are you sure? Some things are better left unspoken." I start to circle around her, closing in as if she were my prey. "My existence is driven by the need for blood. For God's sake, Isabella, blood! It's perverse and unnatural." I step behind her, twisting her hair around my hand and leaning in to sniff her neck. "No matter how much I love you, there will always be a part of me that will crave the taste of your blood. And I hate myself for it."

I release her hair and Isabella turns around to face me. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't care. I love you." She reaches out with one finger and touches my blood-stained mouth. "All of you." She leans in and kisses me, her tongue sweeping along my bottom lip.

Absolving me of my sins.

Lust blooms deep inside my belly and I kiss her back, hard. Our heated breaths create a fog around our heads in the chilly air, reminding me it's too cold to take her in the middle of this field.

I pick her up and run as fast as I can back to the house. As soon as we burst through the door, I set her down and tug her into the parlor, pushing her down on her hands and knees onto the carpet. My hands frantically bunch up her skirts and I let out a sharp breath when I touch the hot flesh between her thighs. I free myself from my trousers and slide into her, groaning from the relief only she can give me.

"Ah, yes," she moans and she shoves back against me, making me buck into her harder. I fuck her with wild abandon, surrendering myself to pure, unabashed pleasure.

I can tell by the way she's moving, by the sounds she's making that she's close to her release. I fold myself over her, pressing my chest into her back, my hand snaking around her waist to touch her between her legs. When I do, she twists her head, her lips seeking mine.

"Bite me, oh God, please bite me," she whispers into my mouth.

Her words set me on fire. I bury my head in her neck, my mouth drawn to her pounding pulse; the thought of biting her while I'm inside her makes me shiver with excitement.

"Isabella, no…don't ask me—"

"I want to be like you, please, make me like you."

I shake my head, but my teeth are already clamping down on her shoulder. This is madness—I need her to let go now, so I move my hand faster, thrust my hips harder.

Isabella throws her head back and cries out in pleasure. I scrape my teeth along her neck, sucking hard. The vibrations from her throat shoot straight to my groin and I spill inside her.

We collapse to the floor and I roll off her. A few minutes later, after I gather my wits, I prop myself on my arm, looking down at her.

"Did I hurt you?" I ask, stroking her delicate face.

"No."

Silence hangs over us like a dark cloud. A sense of foreboding washes over me.

"I don't understand," she says.

"I don't expect you to."

"Can you share your reasoning?"

I sigh and sit up, pulling her with me, taking her hands in mine.

"Do you realize what you're asking me? What you'd be giving up? Life, Isabella."

"Life? If you mean mortality, I don't give a fig about 'life'. Growing old, falling ill? How would it look, Edward, with you escorting me around town when I'm aged and weathered? Would you even desire me?"

"I will always desire you, Isabella, never doubt that."

"My blood, perhaps, but what about me?"

"You will always be the same on the inside," I say, placing my hands on her cheeks.

Just a few days ago I was contemplating changing her; I'm not sure why I've had a sudden change of heart.

"Besides, you're young and healthy, we have years and years ahead— "

"You don't know that!" she says, interrupting. "I could collapse tomorrow from a sudden fever."

She's right, course. She's human.

I've been so happy the past few months that I've almost convinced myself I'm human, too.

"I have no one left in my life, Edward, only you. I love you and want to spend eternity by your side; you have the gift to make that happen. Why is this so hard for you to understand?"

"Gift? If you think the ability to end your life, destroy your soul and your chance of eternal salvation is a gift, you are sorely mistaken. Why would you want to be such a damnable creature? I had no choice—this existence was forced upon me. You have a choice, Isabella. Please live your life as it was meant to be: alive, warm, heart pumping. I'll be with you every step of the way. I will not abandon you."

"I want to be like you," she repeats petulantly, rising to her feet and walking to stand in front of the fire.

Stubborn, headstrong woman! I need to make her understand what she's really asking.

"Let's imagine I do change you," I say, anger creeping into my voice. "The first few months will be brutal. You'll have an insatiable thirst for blood. Human blood, Isabella. Every person you pass will set your throat on fire, bring out the beast in you. You'll want to rip their flesh open and drain them dry." I move directly behind her. "Man, woman, or child, it doesn't matter. You'll be thirsty and you will want to slaughter them."

She lets out a deep breath and I hope I've finally struck a nerve. She turns, throwing her arms around me, crying into my chest. I stroke her hair and shush her softly until she quiets down.

"But you'll be there to help me, won't you?" she asks, looking up at me, her tear-stained face shimmering in the glow of the fire. "You didn't have anyone to guide you during those first few months; I'll have you. You won't let me stumble, will you, Edward?"

And with that heart-wrenching plea, she has me.

How can I deny her?

If she stays human, she will live out her life naturally and I will lose her one day.

If I make her immortal, we will be together always.

Soulless, but together. Happy.

I wipe away her tears and press my forehead to hers.

"I won't let you stumble. I promise."

Isabella kisses me, fresh tears falling down her lovely face.

"Thank you."

We rock back and forth for a few minutes. I still have a nagging doubt, pricking my insides like a sharp thorn.

"There is one stipulation I must insist on before you make your final decision."

"But I've already made up my mind."

"Please, Isabella, hear me out."

She pulls out of my embrace and looks at me with curiosity. "Very well, go on."

I sigh before continuing. "If I'd been given a choice, I wouldn't have chosen this path. Then again, the circumstances of my change were completely different—I was neither married nor in love. I wouldn't wish this so-called life on anyone. However, I'm a selfish creature and the thought of one day being without you is unimaginable. I have the power to alter that eventuality, but I cannot proceed without showing you the dark side of my nature. If after you see what it really means to be a vampire, you still want to carry out your wish, then I'll agree."

"I've already seen you hunt, Edward, there's no need…"

Her voice trails off as she digests the true meaning of my words.

"Not animals, Isabella. Human beings."

Isabella blinks a few times before swallowing hard. I pull her back into my arms and she looks up, gazing at me with concern.

"You haven't had human blood in decades," she says. "I can't let you do that."

"You have to see. You need to know."

"You would do that…for me?"

"I would do anything for you."

She looks pale. I've frightened her—rightfully so.

"When?" she whispers.

"Not tonight. I'm weary of this talk. I want to take you to bed and hold you. I want to pretend my heart is still beating; I want to imagine it pounding when you touch me. I want to feel the rush of blood through my veins when you kiss me and whisper in my ear. Come with me, Isabella, take me there, my love."

She leads me to the bedroom. Once we're naked and entangled in each other's arms, she succeeds, for a little while, in making me feel human again.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, your support means so much to me! Thanks also go out to the ladies at PPSS for their lovely review and beautiful banner.