Boruto- Chapter twelve

I held Kawaki until he stopped shaking, telling him that whatever it was was over and he would be alright. I had stayed by his side as we showered and went into my bedroom, the same as the last time he had went through a nightmare. I wrapped my arms around him and didn't ask questions, it wasn't the time for that. This one had to have been worse than the last. It hurt so much to watch him suffer again and scream out in agony. All he needed was my support and I gave it to him willingly, watching over him until he fell asleep. I stayed close and stroked his hair, hoping to soothe him and keep the nightmares away. He had been through enough already and had been going too long without enough rest.

I fell asleep awhile after and didn't wake up until late in the evening that same day. Kawaki's arms were around my waist while his head was tucked into my chest, his breaths even. I closed my eyes and laid there quietly, letting him sleep for as long as he needed to. I didn't know how much longer I could wait for him to talk to me rather than keeping me in the dark. I didn't want him to suffer alone and keep everything locked inside, even if talking about it wasn't going to make it go away. I knew that whatever happened in his past could never be changed, but time and love could make it heal.

Kawaki stirred a bit, but stayed asleep, a deep breath escaping him. I ran my fingers through his hair to try and lull him into a deeper and peaceful sleep. We stayed like that for another hour as I thought of what I could do to help him. I wasn't going to just sit and watch anymore. He needed and deserved more than that and I would make him realize it, if not today then someday soon.

"Is is Christmas?" Kawaki asked, voice deep and groggy from just waking up.

I chuckled softly. "No, but it's fairly close. It's late Christmas eve now."

"Cookies." He grumbled. "Need to bake cookies."

"Oh yeah, I do." I agreed, but made no move to get up. "I bought chocolate chip and sugar cookie dough."

"Let's go then." He said, sitting up slowly. "We should take some to the hospital in the morning… after you open your gifts."

"And after you open yours." I grinned and gave his cheek a quick peck before I rolled out of the bed. I stretched my back and sighed. "I'm ready." I told him, holding out my hand.

He got on his feet and grabbed my hand, but I didn't miss the fact that he hesitated.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, head tilting as his eyes met mine.

I hummed and looked at him thoughtfully for a minute. "Nothing. If you're good, I'm good." I said and headed into the hallway, dragging him behind me.

Kawaki took a seat at the bar as I preheated the oven and got the cookie dough out of the fridge. I sat it on the bar in front of him before getting a baking pan that I brought over as well. Kawaki looked almost excited, even if he wasn't doing anything.

"Want to open one of your presents tonight?" He asked as I walked over to the drawer to grab a couple spoons.

"Really?" I beamed, looking over my shoulder at him. I was surprised he'd let me open one early. "Can I?"

"Sure. Only if you want to though."

I sat next to him and set the spoons down to open the plastic container. "Hell yeah I do!" I said happily. "Did you wanna open one too?"

"I can wait." He said as he shifted on the stool. "You can open yours when we finish the cookies."

"Consider me motivated." I told him seriously and got to work putting the dough on the pan.

After the dough was all set, I put the pan in the oven and set the timer. The whole time they were baking I was tapping my foot, impatient and excited. I had no idea what he had gotten for me and I really couldn't wait to find out. Once the cookies were finished, I put on the oven mits and placed them on top of the stove. They would have to cool down a bit, but looked really good. I didn't wait for Kawaki and dashed into the living room. I stood next to the trees and eyed the gifts, wondering which one I should open.

"Do I get to pick or are you?" I yelled, not knowing if he was still in the kitchen or not.

He came walking up behind me slowly, hands in the pockets of his pajama bottoms. "You can pick any of them, besides this one." He said, pointing to the biggest box with his foot.

That was the one I was thinking of going for, but I didn't complain. "Ummm, this one." I said and grabbed a smaller one from the arranged presents. "You put them under the tree, right? They look nice." I told him and put the present I picked to the side for a moment. "Mine are sticking out and ruining it . . . I'll just-" I moved my presents for Kawaki around until they rested in a similar fashion as the ones Kawaki got for me.

"Glad you liked it… I thought it looked like shit. But… I did try." He admitted as he took a seat on the couch, having yet to grab his box.

"It looks great, you did a good job." I praised and picked up the one I chose before joining him. "Can I open it now?"

"Of course. Hope you like it." He smiled softly.

I grinned and then went to town on the wrapping paper. Inside was a decent sized candle, the color a pretty purple. "Oh wow." I said and brought it to my nose to smell. "Oh, that's nice. This is going in my bedroom." Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a yankee candle. They were expensive as fuck.

"The smell didn't repulse me so I was hoping it would be okay… even though it's not as fruity as you like."

I laughed. "Kawaki, cinnamon is not fruity. But thank you, I love it."

"Sure you're not disappointed? I think it's pretty lame…" He asked seriously.

I held the candle to my chest and narrowed my eyes. "Don't go calling my present lame, bastard. Besides, I thought it was smart. It's something I'll use almost every day and you put thought into it. That's more than enough."

"If you say so…" He hummed and then finally reached for his box. I'd been anticipating it.

"I know so." I stated with confidence. "In fact, let me borrow your lighter when your done. I'll use it right now."

"Go ahead." He said and handed me the lighter before getting to work.

I took it and placed the candle in the center of the coffee table before lighting it. Then I patiently waited for the wax to burn a bit for the smell and gave him back his lighter. My blue eyes drifted to him as I watched him, always pulled in by the way he rolled his weed.

"The candle smells better lit." Kawaki grumbled as he finished rolling and fired up the joint.

I took a deep breath and agreed. "It does, doesn't it? But . . . you know what would make me really happy?" I asked.

"You wanna hit this?" He asked, cocking a brow and gesturing to the joint.

I rolled my eyes fondly. "Nah, not that. I want you to open a present too."

"Oh?" He stared at his joint. "I don't need to… you… didn't need to get me anything."

"No way, I wanted to get you something. That's why I got my part time job in the first place." I said and then covered my mouth with my hand. I hadn't meant to let that slip, damn my big mouth.

"Tell me you're not serious." He groaned, glaring at me suddenly. "Boruto."

"Well . . . it's not a real present if it doesn't come from me, with money I earned." I insisted and got up and walked to the tree. "Which one do you wanna open?"

"It doesn't matter." He sighed. "You pick."

I furrowed my brow in thought and looked over the three gifts I had gotten him. Two of them weren't that expensive and would be better to lead with for the big present coming tomorrow, so I went with the smallest and more expensive one. I picked up the wrapped box and brought it over as I sat back down.

"Here you go." I said and handed it to him, a little nervous. Hopefully it was his style.

He put the joint between his lips as he took the gift and started unwrapping it carefully, as if he wanted to save the paper for later. He took his sweet time and when the paper was finally removed he examined the earrings and brow rings for a moment.

"Shit. I needed these." He said, voice mumbled from the joint between his lips. He held the small box in one hand while using the other to take the joint. "Black. Nice choice." He smiled at me. "I really like it."

I beamed at him and gave him a wide grin. "Good. It took me a bit to find ones like yours, but it was so worth it. I'm glad you like them."

"It was very thoughtful." He dropped his joint in the ashtray and got up, leaning over me suddenly. I leaned back in surprise and my eyes widened when he pressed his lips against my forehead. My heart palpitated and I could only stare at him as he stood straight and walked into the kitchen.

I raised my hand to the place he kissed felt my ears grow warm. He always caught me off guard when he was so gentle and intimate like that, it made me feel cared for and happy. I smiled to myself and rested my arms on my knees, leaning forward a bit to smell the candle more. This was going to be a great christmas, even despite what had happened. Kawaki came back a plate of the cookies and some milk. He set it all on the coffee table before sitting and I was quick to grab a chocolate chip one.

"Thanks, Ki." I said, the nickname coming out of nowhere. But I liked it.

Kawaki's eyes cut to me as he took a big bite of a chocolate chip cookie but he said nothing about the nickname. I counted that as a win. "I'm going to call and check in on Yukina." He said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it.

"Okay. Did you need some privacy?" I asked and took a sip of milk.

"No." He shook his head. "It will only take a minute." He said before raising his phone to his ear.

I watched quietly and finished off my cookie, grabbing another one. I hoped she was doing well and that her husband's recovery was running smoothly. I didn't want her to be under any more stress or for her husband to be in pain any longer than he had to. But more than anything, I didn't want Kawaki to be so worried. She really meant a lot to him.

"Want me to bring you something to eat?... You sure?... Okay well Boruto and I will see you in the morning then. Merry Christmas." Kawaki hung up his phone and grabbed another cookie. "She says he's hurting really bad and can't really move with his legs like they are, but other than complaining like a mother fucker, he's fine."

"That's good. Maybe I'll fold some more cranes for them." I mused. "How did she sound? She okay?"

"She sounded tired honestly. But she said she was going to go home and shower before going back up there. She doesn't want to leave him… but I think she's tired enough now to actually get some sleep up there."

I frowned. "Remind me to take her a pillow and blanket. Those chairs can't be comfortable to sleep in . . . do you think I could get away with an air mattress?"

"No… and the hospital will supply her with a pillow and blanket. She'll be fine. She's strong." He assured me.

I smiled at that. "I have no doubt. You were right you know, she is pretty cool."

"Yeah… she is." He nodded, eyes turning distant with thought.

I took another sip of milk and then reached over to rub his back. "You good?"

"I'm good. Are you?"

"I've got cookies, milk, a brand new candle and you sitting next to me. I'm fucking fantastic." I smiled.

"Hm. Good."

I cuddled up against his side and we finished off the cookies and milk while we chatted. Then we turned on the TV and flipped through the channels until something good came up. It was great to just laze around like this with him and I couldn't remember a time feeling more content, so at ease. Being close to him like that, tucked against his side, only served to make my feelings for him expand to every corner of my heart. I was turning into such a sap, but I didn't care. This was all I wanted, Kawaki was all I wanted.

It was already pretty late and we ended up staying awake for four more hours. However, we did take a nap before getting up again, ready for christmas to begin. I cooked breakfast as Kawaki packed up the cookies for Mrs. Yukina. It sucked that I had met her under the circumstances as I did, but I was happy. She was what I had suspected and it was so funny to see her scold Kawaki. I looked forward to getting to know her better. As we ate it was decided that present time would happen when we got back, that way there was no rush. I was so excited to give him his gifts and see what else he had gotten me.

His big and very expensive gift would arrive later today and I would get a text when it was delivered. I wasn't sure if he would love it, but I hoped he would. I thought it suited his tastes and his personality. After we finished, we left the apartment and I drove us to the hospital. Traffic was practically nonexistent since most people were at home spending time with their family. I already knew what mine was doing, the same as last year. Mom would've been the first one up followed by dad. They would make their morning coffee and then sit in the living room together to enjoy each other's company. Himawari would run down the stairs some time later and sit next to the tree so she could hand them out, she loved doing that.

Even though I wasn't going home this year, I had wrapped all their gifts and set them under the tree the first day of christmas break. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't going to see their faces when they opened my gifts, but there was no way in hell I didn't want to be with Kawaki instead. It was our first christmas together and I wanted it to be just the two of us. Once we got to the hospital, we went straight to Mr. Futoshi's room and Mrs. Yukina introduced me. I was glad he was awake. Kawaki gave Mrs. Yukina the cookies and she smiled happily at him. He didn't really interact that much with Mr. Futoshi, but everyone acted like it was normal so I didn't worry about it.

It was great talking with Mrs. Yukina again, she was so nice and I was quickly developing a soft spot for her. Kawaki was quiet though he watched her carefully. He was still worried, but not as much as before. The visit made me thankful that he had people in his life he could turn to when he needed them. We stayed for a while until Mr. Futoshi needed his rest and Kawaki was done with being there. The ride home was as short as the ride to the hospital and I couldn't wait to open presents. Kawaki seemed excited too and that made me even more pumped, it was going to be awesome. When we got into the apartment, we both changed into our pajamas and settled in the living room. I sat next to the tree to pass the presents and Kawaki sat on the couch, watching me. He seemed amused at how giddy I was, but I didn't care if I was acting like a little kid. I had put my phone on the coffee table so I knew when his big gift got here. I hoped it wouldn't be too much longer because I didn't want Kawaki to have to wait.

"Do you wanna open one first?" I asked, already knowing which present I wanted to pick.

"It's up to you." He smiled. "Or we could open one at the same time."

"Ooo, let's do that!" I agreed and handed him a present. After he took it, I grabbed one for myself and looked over at him. "Ready?"

"Yep." He nodded, eyes moving to the gift in his hands.

We started unwrapping the presents and I was able to finish first, a red yankee candle inside. "You got me more than one?" I grinned as I glanced over at him.

"What the… fuck." His mouth fell open as he pulled out the blue shirt I'd gotten him and inspected it before scowling at me. "Boruto's number one fan? Really. You're so fucking annoying."

I laughed. "You can wear it at my football games." I suggested and then smelled my candle.

"You're so fucking full of yourself. Shit." He shook his head and sat the shirt on the couch beside him. "Let's open another one."

I nodded and set my candle next to other one before handing Kawaki another gift. I took another as well and we began opening them. My face flushed at the present, the very same cologne that Kawaki wore. Thinking that he wanted me to smell like him . . . made me hot.

"Damn, this is much better than that last nonsense." Kawaki grinned as he inspected the black vest. On the right side above the chest pocket read 'need for weed'. "I love it. I'm gonna wear it tomorrow."

I put the cologne to the side before I hurt myself and smiled at his words. "Yeah? I knew you'd like that one."

"Yeah it's great. Thanks. Did you like the smell of that cologne?" He asked curiously.

"I did . . . I really did." I said quietly, trying to calm myself.

"It's my favorite… but I thought you might like it too since every time I wear it you get extra horny."

I covered my face with my hands in an attempt to hide my blush. "Kawaki!"

"Moving on…" He said and I could hear the smirk he had.

I glared at him between my fingers before taking a deep breath and dropping my hands. "I have one more for you, but it's not here yet. Shouldn't be too much longer though."

"Well I have three more for you, so open them. Save the bigger box for that. So either the small one, or the bag."

I decided to start with the smaller one first. I unwrapped my next gift and found a third yankee candle. I looked up at Kawaki with wide eyes.

"You . . . got me three?" I asked in disbelief. These candles cost a pretty penny and I never expected him to be willing to spend that much money on them for me. It was really sweet.

"Well I wanted to get enough to last you a while… since you like them so much."

I smelled the candle before placing it with the others, leaning over the coffee table to kiss him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He grumbled, looking everywhere but into my eyes. "Hurry up and open the bag."

I chuckled at his shyness and then sat back down. I reached into the bag and grinned when I pulled out my favorite pro team's jersey, my favorite player's number on the front and back.

"Yes! I needed a lucky jersey." I said and slipped it on. "I love it!"

"Only one left." He sighed. "Go ahead."

My phone went off and I lunged to get it. Just like I suspected, it was the text telling me the gift had arrived. "It's finally here! I'll open my last one and then we'll go outside to go see it." I said as I sat down and pulled the big present towards me.

"Alright." He nodded.

I tore through the wrapping paper and my blue eyes shot up to Kawaki the second I was able to tell what it was. "How did you . . ."

"I know everything." He shrugged as if it was the most ordinary thing.

He had gotten the cleats I've been fighting myself to get. I didn't know how the hell he knew, but I was ecstatic. I got up and tackled him against the couch, holding his face between my hands as I kissed him.

"You are definitely getting thank you sex tonight." l promised.

"Well shit… you don't need to tell me." He huffed.

I chuckled and pecked him on the lips once more before standing up. "Come on, you have to go see your last present!"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He followed me quietly out the door and down the steps, my heart beating against my chest. This was either going to be a big success or a huge failure. I told him to close his eyes before we got outside and led him to the very expensive black motorcycle I bought him.

"Alright . . . you can look now." I said, tone a bit nervous.

Kawaki opened his eyes and took in the black bike with the red bow on it. He stood there for much longer than I would have liked, his expression giving nothing away but the longer he stood there in silence, the more worried I became.

"You hate it." I said, feeling guilty. Maybe I should have asked first.

"Boruto." He sighed, looking down at me then. "What the fuck is that?"

"A present . . ." I told him, staring at the motorcycle. "I thought it was a good idea."

"Good idea? Motorcycle? Boruto… no." He shook his head. "It's nice, really nice. I don't hate it and I'm… happy that you would go so far for me but, I won't accept it."

I looked up at him, brow furrowed. "Why not?"

"It's a fucking motorcycle. Why do you think not?" He groaned. "Shit, Boruto. Clothes, shoes, cologne… candles, those are normal gifts. A motorcycle is not a normal gift. It's too fucking much. You take it back and get your money."

"Okay, maybe the gift is a bit . . . drastic, but what the hell? It's not too much! It's not like it's a car . . . I'm not taking it back." I huffed and crossed my arms.

"This is not a joke, Boruto. You think I want you spending thousands of dollars on me? Fuck, I didn't even want you getting a job. You're so annoying. It's too much. I won't accept it no matter what you say. The thought is appreciated, honestly. But no."

I shook my head. There was no way I was letting someone else buy it. "I'm not taking it back. I'll just keep it at my parents house until you're ready to take the damn thing, even if it has to sit there for years."

"If you're going to keep it, keep it for yourself. I can't believe you'd get something like that for me."

"I have a car, I'm not gonna use it and it's yours. What's so hard to believe?" I asked, letting my arms fall to my sides.

"You're ridiculous. Damn it, Boruto. What would your parents say if they knew you bought me something like that?"

"I can call them and ask them if you want, but I don't give a fuck what they think. It was my money." I said. "I admit I might have jumped the gun a bit, but here we are."

"Yes, your money. I don't want it." He growled.

I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness. "Well too bad, I don't do returns." I said and turned on my heel, making my way back inside. I wasn't about to keep arguing with him in the parking lot.

Kawaki followed, but didn't say a word. We went back into the apartment and I starting cleaning up all the wrapping paper. Kawaki sat on the couch and pulled out his box, getting ready to smoke. A part of me understood where he was coming from, but the larger part wasn't having it. It was fine if he wasn't ready for something like that, but I wasn't going to take it back. I would have to call home and tell them what happened so I could store the bike in the garage. I put the gifts away in our room while Kawaki smoked and folded up my jersey. Once I was finished I joined him on the couch and sighed. I hated it when he was angry, especially if I was the reason. Which was most of the time.

"I'll keep it at my parents house . . . maybe I can try to give it to you again on your birthday or something." I said. "I know you're gonna be pissed for awhile, but for what it's worth, you deserve that bike despite what you might think."

"You obviously aren't thinking clearly." He grumbled, keeping his attention on his joint rolling.

"I can be just as stubborn as you if I need to be and my thinking is as clear as it's ever been. I know who I see when I look at you, I know who you are. Granted, I don't know a lot about your past, but that's fine." I said and kept my gaze on the coffee table. "I know the Kawaki today and he deserves that fucking bike."

"Not at your expense, asshole. You think I want shit like that handed to me? No. Hell no. I don't take fucking handouts."

"It's not a handout!" I insisted. "I'm doing this because I-" I cut myself off, not about to say it while we were arguing.

His head turned towards me, eyes narrowing as he studied me. His lips parted but instead of speaking he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and looked away from me.

"I don't want to fight." I sighed. "I'll just . . . let's cool down . . . I'm gonna make us something to eat." I said and stood. Knowing us, we could argue all day and still not get anywhere.

Kawaki didn't respond and I left to go to the kitchen. I couldn't believe I was about to let the L word slip in anger. That wasn't how I want to tell him and it was way too soon to admit such a thing. I couldn't accept that the reason he didn't want the motorcycle was because it was 'too much', there had to be a bigger reason that I just wasn't seeing. I told him he deserved it and he did, why didn't he think as much? I started pulling out pans and the seasonings followed by some hamburger meat. I washed my hands and tried to figure out what Kawaki was trying to say. I've been doing my best to understand him, I really had. Was it not enough?

Seeing my gift as a handout, what was he thinking? How was it a handout? Was he doubting my feelings for him? Sometimes he was the fucking idiot. I had told him multiple times that I liked him so he should have faith in my words. He had become a bigger part of my life than I thought possible. I had been so patient and considerate, at least I tried my damnedest to be. He brought out new sides of me that I didn't know I had. He made me shy, for one, which no one ever did in any of my past flings. But this wasn't a fling. He proved me to be a cuddler and admittingly pretty needy. I didn't treat anyone else the way I treated him and I had never felt this way, this deeply about anyone else. He had to realize that, right? He had to see how much effort I was putting in and how desperate I was to make this work. Was there more I could be doing? If so then what?

I knew Kawaki felt something for me. There was no way in hell he didn't. In fact, he had been so much nicer recently. Sure he had still been difficult sometimes, but that was just his personality. Overall he was more affectionate and gave in more easily than in the past. I was started to feel more like a couple and been treated more as a lover. He let me practically hang on him anytime I wanted and was always fussing over me, always worrying. He . . . he was treating me like I've never seen him treat anyone else . . . like I was special to him. I was still in the dark about most things, but he was opening up to me and showing me his other sides more often than just his angry one. He was a lot more relaxed around me and smiled more often. I was so happy that I hadn't noticed he had changed. I began cutting onions and tried to calm my racing pulse.

Was it all because he like me too? Had he finally sorted out his feelings? Just the thought made me so happy, but it didn't explain what was going on. If that was the case then surely he wouldn't have had a problem with my gift. That's what people cared for each other did, they got the pleasure of spoiling them and showing them how they felt through their action. There was more than one way of letting someone know how you felt about them and I wanted Kawaki to experience them all. He should have understood that, right? Maybe I was just being hopeful and reading too much into things. I couldn't help feeling that I was still taking two steps forward and one step back, something was wrong. It could have been the stress from what happened to Mrs. Yukina and his nightmare, but I wasn't sure. What was troubling him, holding him back?

Some of the walls around his heart were stronger than others and while I had broken some, I could only hope I was strong enough to break the others.