Firecracker

Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I only own Jamie. Yay…. (Note the sarcasm)

A/N: So, since I got such a wonderful response for the last chapter, I decided, why make everyone wait for the next chapter? So, here's my thank you for being the bestest readers ever! You guys are amazinggg! Please continue to review and favorite and alert and just read it :o) I love you guys a whole lot!

Jamie woke up the next morning, still cuddled up against John. He had an arm around her shoulders and her head was on his chest. She was grateful that he was always there for her when she needed him, and she was happy that he had spent the night with her. It wasn't anything sexual or more than friendly, but it was nice to have him there for her when she clearly needed someone's support.

"Good morning, my dear," John's voice greeted her.

"Hi," she softly said.

"Something's up with you."

"No…"

He raised an eyebrow. "You're being very mushy and cuddly…very out of character for you," he observed. "On any normal day, if you woke up with us like this, you'd have already punched me in the dick and kicked me out."

"Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf," she said, pretending to mean what she said, but that tone quickly disappeared. "But I'm positive that's not the case here."

John smiled and yawned. "I'm watching you, lady."

"I bet you think you are…but we have a little problem because…" She waved her hand in her face. "You can't see me."

John laughed at her mocking of him. "Yes, I can see you. I'm watching you like a hawk, missy."

"Five more days. Then, you definitely can't see me."

"You're gonna fly home to New York for a week and do what? Stay in your house all alone with no one to bother?"

"Pretty much. That's the plan," she confirmed with a nod.

"I doubt you want to be alone for a whole week."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm nervous about you being alone."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "I just am. I always worry about you."

"I'll be fine, Johnny Boy."

"I hope so."

"I just need some time to relax and think."

"That's really what I'm worried about. You thinking at all is a pretty scare thought, sweetheart."

"I just need some time to figure out what I want to do," she explained. "It's been a rough month or so, and I just need to clear my head."

"Well, I still worry about you."

"I know."

Jamie was laying in her bed yet again. She wasn't feeling like herself at all, lately and was very much exhausted from the stress that she was constantly dealing with. They had had a house show that night, and she didn't have a match, just some appearances with Nexus, valeting them for their matches, but she was still exhausted. She had been very quiet all day. Hell, she'd been much too quiet for the past couple of days. No one knew what was wrong with her. She didn't want to do anything but rest and sleep.

Wade was really worried about Jamie. The fact that their Raw taping that was only in two days would be the last time he would see her in a week really upset him, especially with the way she had been acting as of late. He was really concerned about her current state. She'd avoided talking to anyone in Nexus. In fact, she really only spoke to John and even then, she still wasn't giving much up.

He wanted to find out what was going on with her, but he knew she was more than likely not going to tell him anything. He was pretty sure that it was all his fault anyway. The fact that she obviously wasn't telling John what was going on bothered him more than anything. If she wouldn't talk to her best friend about it, she would likely not tell anyone. That meant whatever she was going through, she was dealing with by herself.

Wade couldn't handle thinking that he caused the sudden change in Jamie. He went into her room, hoping he could apologize to her and maybe fix things.. He saw her laying in bed, her eyes closed. Wade laid next to her.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing?" she asked, eyes remaining closed, as she spoke.

"You're awake? I didn't realize…I-I just came in here because I wanted to apologize to you," he said, slightly taken aback. Last time he went into her room when she was asleep, she was nice. Now, she was being a venomous bitch, again.

She opened her eyes. "For what?"

"For doing this to you."

"Doing what to me?" she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well, you've been really different lately. You're not always looking for a fight. You spend a lot of time in bed, and you're all quiet."

"Am I really?"

"Yeah. Everyone's really worried about you."

"There's no reason for anyone to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I always have."

"You shouldn't have to, though. You deserve to be taken care of."

"By who? You? Listen, Barrett, I don't need any man to do anything for me. I'm perfectly capable of handling my own business…and my own responsibilities without anyone else's pity help," she snapped. "And quite frankly, you don't even know what the fuck I'm going through right now. So, I suggest you keep your holier than thou attitude the fuck away from me because right now because I don't need to deal with your bullshit, too."

"I didn't mean to offend you at all. I was seriously just trying to help," he said. "I'm sorry."

She laughed bitterly. "I love how you're just trying to hard to be my knight in shining armor, when you're the first one to apologize and admit defeat. Some knight you really turned out to be."

"I apologize to you because I don't want to cause you anymore bloody grief than I already have. Not because I'm a weak person. You're the only person I've ever been like this with, so don't even go there," he snapped at her.

Jamie rolled her eyes. "I don't get you, Wade. I swear to God, I really don't. If you're such a big tough guy, then, why do you act like this way with me?"

"Because I don't want to be a tough guy with you. I want to be the kind of guy that you need me to be."

"Oh? And what kind of man is it that I need, Dr. Phil?"

He ignored the Dr. Phil comment, opting to try to keep it civil, even though she was really eating away at his nerves. "You need someone who will support you. Someone who will be there for you when you need him. You need a man you can talk to, who will listen to you, even when you're being mean and crazy and bitchy."

"And let me guess, you can be that man, right?" she mockingly asked.

"For you, I could be anything."

"How about you try being gone and just leave me alone?" she shot with an eye roll.

"I'm serious. I'll be the man you need me to be."

"Remind me not to vomit. You really try too hard."

"Because I'm sincere and honest?"

"Good point. Even if you didn't try too hard, I wouldn't give a shit either way."

"Well, at least you're acting somewhat normal again."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God. You were so successful. Wow. You must be the only one who can reach me," she shot back, sarcastically. "You must be the one for me."

"Come on, Jay. What's wrong?"

"Wade, you need to stop prying, okay? Everyone wants to know what's wrong with me. Part of it -a very small part, I might add- is my frustration with you. My other issues are none of your business."

"I never meant to frustrate you or stress you out," he said, softly.

"Obviously because you never leaving me the hell alone, when I've told you to fuck off, never should have tipped you off," she retorted.

He remained silent for a few moments before sitting up. "Then, I'll leave you alone. Sorry," he said and got up, quickly leaving the room.

Jamie frowned when Wade left. She didn't want him to leave. She didn't think about her problems when he was arguing with her, and she preferred it that way.

The absolute last thing Jamie wanted to deal with was what was waiting for her in New York. Her so-called family was never exactly an issue that she enjoyed dealing with, and this trip would more than likely break her down. She didn't know what was going to happen when she came back after this supposed vacation. Jamie had been looking forward to her week off, but now she was absolutely dreading it. She didn't want to go alone, either, but the only other person who had the week off that she spoke to was Wade, and she sure as hell wasn't going to include him in her personal business…especially the business that she was going to have to deal with. And truth be told, she always said she wanted him to leave her alone, but it wasn't true. Not at all. If he actually did leave her alone, she would go insane, as much as she insisted it wasn't the truth. She cared about him, and she liked having him around.

It actually hurt her when he left the room. So, Jamie decided against her better judgment to go after him. She got out of her bed and left the bedroom. She saw the guys sitting on the couch, watching TV, minus Wade.

"Hey…um…do you know where Wade went?" she asked them.

"He's in the bedroom," Justin said. "The one that's two doors to the left of you."

"Thanks," she said, as she turned to go into his room.

"Jamie hold up for just a second," Heath spoke. She turned back around to face the group. "Please don't fight with him or anything like that when you go in there. I don't know what just happened with the two of you, but he's really upset right now."

"And he cares about you a lot, even if you don't feel the same way about him," David said. "Everyone knows that."

"I'm not going in there to fight with him. I wanted to go in there to apologize to him," she admitted.

A smile played on Justin's lips. "We'll talk later, lady," he said. She rolled her eyes. Jamie turned back around and walked into the bedroom where Justin had told her Wade was. He was in there, facing away from her. She shut the door.

"Justin, I told you I don't want to talk about it right now," he spoke firmly. Jamie climbed onto the bed, her body next to his, as she wrapped an arm around him. He turned around and saw it was her. "I thought you wanted me to leave you the fuck alone," he said, his voice expressing his hostility.

She sighed. "That was a lie," she admitted.

Wade looked confused. "What?"

"I don't want you to leave me alone," she said, softly.

"Oh really?"

"I know you don't believe me, but it's the truth," she told him.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you want me to leave you alone?" he asked her.

"Because…" She took a deep breath. "I know that we fight a lot, but…I…um…I like being with you…even when we're fighting."

Wade looked as if he wasn't completely understanding what she was saying. "What do you mean?"

"Please don't make me explain," she whispered.

He shrugged. "Fine. I don't know what you want from me," he breathed.

"Wade…"

"What, Jamie?" he asked, his voice sharp and not as sweet, as he usually tried to be with her.

"I…I…um…I…" She closed her eyes tightly. "I care about you." She opened her eyes after the words left her lips.

"Are you just saying that?"

"Would I, of all people, honestly just say something to make someone happy or feel better? Seriously?"

"Good point. Continue."

"And I'm upset because of a family issue…a father thing…" she revealed. "And I don't tell anyone anything about my family or my father or whatever, not even John, so…"

"Are you okay?" he asked , his hostility fading upon noticing that she was chewing on the inside of her cheek.

She thought for a moment, considering whether or not she was going to be honest with him. She decided to she probably should tell him what was going on. Or at least let him know how she really felt...for once. "No, I'm not," she truthfully answered.

Wade frowned. "How can I fix it?" he asked.

"You can't…"

"I want to," he said. "I never want you to be upset. I don't want you to hurt."

Jamie cuddled up against him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. She successfully tried to suppress the feeling of tears that were trying to creep out of her eyes. "I've conditioned myself to be alone," she explained.

"But you don't have to be," he said. "Jamie, I want to be here for you."

"You wouldn't understand," she whispered.

"I'll understand. All I want to do is help you and understand you and make everything okay," he said, softly.

Jamie bit her lower lip. "Wade, I can't…"

"Why not?"

She just shook her head, remaining silent.

"Baby, I told you that I love you, and I meant it when I said it, and I mean it every minute of every day. I will do anything to make you feel better. I want to help you. But I can't do it, if you won't let me," he explained.

Jamie sighed. "Wade, it isn't that easy."

"It can be, but you won't let it."

She shook her head. "Fine. I was really looking forward to having this week off in New York, relaxing at home, not having to worry about anything…but then, I got a phone call. And…" She pressed her lips together, afraid to talk about what was really going on. "My father…he's uh…he's dying, which I've known...for the past few months...he has pancreatic cancer, so...he should be dead soon…and I'm grateful for that, which...I know it sounds terrible...it's the truth, though. But now, he wants to uh...to see me…and when I'm in New York, I'm going to have to see him…and…I dunno."

"You don't know what?"

"I don't know why I'm even bothering to put myself through this."

"Do you want to see him?"

"No. I hate him. Like I know I've told you that I hate you, but I don't mean that. Him, on the other hand, he can't die soon enough."

"So, why are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Don't go, then."

"I feel like I have to…to show that I'm the bigger and better person, I guess, but after not seeing him for the past six years…I just…I guess, I'm really just scared."

"Well…do…do you want me to go with you?" he offered.

"N-no. No. Definitely not. You enjoy your vacation. I'll deal with the skeletons in my closet on my own." Of course she wasn't going to say yes...even though, in a weird way, her mind was practically screaming at her to say yes and have him come along with her. She knew that he would make it easier for her.

"I'm not gonna be to enjoy anything if one, I can't see you, or two, I'm worrying about you. Not being with you while all of this is going on will mean I can't see you, and I'm worrying about you. Not gonna work out very well."

"You don't have to worry about me."

"Jamie, you're obviously really upset. You need to have someone with you, if you hate him that much."

"After what he did to me…I just…I don't know what it's gonna be like to see him again. That's all," she tried to brush it off, as if it wasn't as big of a deal as it really was.

"Do…is your mother or someone gonna be there?" he asked.

She shook her head. "My mom died when I was a kid. That's why I had all of the problems that I did with my father. No one knew anything was going on because we didn't have too much family, aside from my mother's parents, but my father didn't really let me see them. I didn't reconnect with them until I left his house, when I was like eighteen. No one knew that my dad beat the shit out of me on a daily basis. That was my own issue," she explained, quickly looking down.

"Your father hit you?"

"Sometimes he'd hit me…or really do whatever he could to hurt me…and I'm an only child, so it's not like there was anyone else around to beat up on."

"You shouldn't go, Jay."

"I know, but I have to do this…"

"Then, I'm going with you."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, but I'm going to."

"Seriously, Wade, there's no need to."

"There is a need to."

"I'll be fine," she insisted.

"Well, I won't be. I'll call the airline and switch myself onto your flight."

"It isn't necessary."

"You can argue with me all you want, but my mind is made up. I'm going to New York with you, and that's the end of it. You're not doing this alone. I'm going, and you're going to have to deal with it."

"Where were you headed anyway?"

"Home to Manchester."

"Wade, go home, please. Don't worry about me."

"I'm going with you. I'm not changing my mind. And the fact that you keep telling me not to is really just wasting your time because I'll be there. I'm telling you, this isn't something you should have to do alone, and if that means I have to follow you to New York, against your wishes, then I'll do it."

Jamie wrapped her arms around Wade, unsure if she should continue with the list of problems she was dealing with. "Um…"

"Yes?"

She decided to not bring up the other issue just yet. "Thank you."

He looked slightly unsure if that was what she intended to say, but he decided to drop the issue for now. "Of course. I've got your back, Jamie. That's never going to change." He affectionately kissed the top of her head. She remained silent. "I know that you don't believe me, but I do love you very much, and I'm going to make everything okay," he softly promised her. It wasn't long before the two dozed off for a short nap before their show that night.