Hi everyone! I know this update was slower to come than others, but the pace the story is coming to me is slowing down. I'm thankful for that actually, because eventually, somehow soon, I have to get some real life stuff accomplished. But please know it kills me to abandon ANYTHING. So if there are any TFK readers still around...I'm a bit stuck on transition chapters. But trust me, I know where it's going...I don't abandon much.
Back to this chapter though. It's kind of intense. But I stand by every decision either Jackson or April makes. Not everything is black and white. And also, she is being treated for a few intense disorders so...keep that in mind as you read. Also, every contradiction, if you find a few, with April's dialogue...is deliberate. And also I think I remember someone asked why Jackson left his kids. He left them with a bunch of adults he trusted because he was angry. Not just because he blamed April...but also because He never lets himself need people, especially his mother. But the one time he did, she wasn't there. Alright, I'm done rambling. Let me know what you think!
"Jackson, hi baby. I was just showing April this great pic of Tenley and Arabella in the bouncy house. I got them midair…And I took video too. It's great, they are having so much fun, right Jackie?" My mother looked up at me, and I knew what her eyes were demanding I do. I knew what that quick nod of her head meant. "Pretend, Jackson. Just pretend." But I waved her hand away, angrily walking toward my wife.
"What are her triggers, April. Do you know what her triggers are?"
April gulped and turned ghost white. "I…I don't…"
My mother made a show of looking down at her watch. "Jackson, what are you doing here? It's only 4:30. You should be…" The invitation said 12-5 pm.
"I could ask you the same question, but I'm not talking to you." My voice was so soaked with venom that for the fist time in my life, I scared my mother into silence.
I turned back to my wife. "Her triggers, April. What are they?"
"Jackson…I really don't…"
"Germs. And finger foods. And spills of any kind. And odd numbers. My three-year old can't stop counting on an odd number without bursting into tears."
"Babe…this is all new…I...I'm sorry but I didn't know she…maybe it was just the party, you know how she is. She's quiet and…"
I shook my head and gritted my teeth, blind with rage. "I'm not your babe, right now. I'm embarrassed…Embarrassed I even…" The thoughts racing through my mind were so sharp, so hurtful, they were like knives. If I wanted to I could've thrown a million knives at her in that moment. I'm embarrassed you're the mother of my children, embarrassed I fell in love with you. Angry that I've been most focused on you these past two weeks, when I should've just left you here to drown in your tears. "YOU. YOU DID THIS TO HER. THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU HORRIBLE…"
I lunged, and saw April cower in fear. But my mother's voice stopped me cold. "JACKSON HARPER AVERY YOU'D BETTER WALK YOUR ASS OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!" She'd stepped in front of April, protecting her and preventing me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I'd been so focused on April I hadn't been paying attention to where my mother was in the room.
She pushed me backwards out the door and down the hallway. I took smaller steps, letting her think she was in control. My back hit a wall and before I could take a breath I felt them start. Her hard, the burning slaps across my face. One, two, three, four, five. Everything my mother did had a purpose. Five slaps. One for each member of my family.
"Have you lost your mind? Have you actually lost it? I raised you better than to even THINK about putting your hands on a woman in anger. Anyone would be bad, but your wife? You do realize that even though I stopped it you might have ended your marriage just then? If it were me I'd already be discharged from this place and on my way home to get my babies. I would divorce your ass and never let you see your children ever again. But, your wife and I are very different people. I bet she thinks it's actually her fault. She might just cry awhile and beg your forgiveness, that's all she's been doing since I got here." Mom shook her head in pity.
I just cried. It was all I could do for a minute. "Mom…" My voice caught in the back of my throat. "I don't know who that…I don't know what I was…I can't believe I…how did I let myself…I need to go to her." My knees buckled and I collapsed against the wall, head in my hands, frozen. At least mom sat next to me, maybe her anger was subsiding a little bit. Not that that's what I deserved.
"Well give her a few minutes, at least. You know, all she's been doing since I got here is crying. Because she wasn't with you. Because she wasn't with Tee. Because she's sick of this place. Because of that video call. April Avery is no fool, Jackson. She knows her children are suffering, Tee and Brae especially. The only thing she wants to do anymore is take care of her girls. She told me it physically hurts she can't hold them, lately. And then on one of their birthdays, she can't be there? I only just got her to crack a smile a few minutes before you..." She shook her head in anger. "I know you felt very noble allowing that video call today, but you shouldn't. And I knew her mother wouldn't be thinking of her pain today, so I…"
"Why are you always so nasty about Karen?" I wiped tears from my eyes. "She's here. She's been so helpful…"
"Pssshh yeah, to you." My mother rolled her eyes.
"What do you want from her? I needed help with the kids, especially in those first few days; I wish I realized it sooner. And she went to a therapy session."
"Yeah. One session. And you want to know what they talked about? Pretty much how lucky April was to have you, how she'd best get better soon before you leave her."
I laid my head against the wall, massaging my temples. "I don't agree with that part, if you think I do then I don't know….I stuck up for her, when Karen…mom, April grew up having a very literal understanding of the Bible. She modified her beliefs way before me. Just by going away to school, by choosing a career in medicine instead of a husband in Moline. April loves her mother. But there's just no changing certain aspects of Karen's beliefs. She's very loving…Just not open to different ideas about a wife's role…that's all. We laugh about it. I don't understand…"
"You'd better not tell me you don't understand what an overbearing mother is like. Not after everything you've said to me over the years. Just because April laughs about it all with you doesn't mean it doesn't hurt her. Doesn't mean she doesn't struggle with it everyday."
"Trust me, I'm very aware of my wife's struggles with her mother and the Bible…sometimes I wish she'd just…"
"Worship you instead?" My mother's words still stung. Just because we were having some kind of moment, didn't mean she was going to let me forget what an asshole she thought I was for what I'd just done.
"No. It's just confusing sometimes, that's all I'm saying. Part of the reason why she's here is the fucking Bible."
"Well, whatever Jackson. My only point is that I'm here for April. I recognize what she's done for my family. I know how difficult it is to marry into and…"
"Are you saying I don't recognize what she's done for…"
"Not a hair on those babies' heads is ever out of place at an event, not a bow is crooked. Bellie and Tee smile politely and even talk to the weird strangers fawning over them. They know how to take a picture when it counts. They're so young and they know how to be Averys, Jackson. That's hard. And are you sitting at home teaching them manners? And the French and Spanish and math and reading and making sure they have fun while they do it?"
"I get it Ma, they're great kids, and she does it. I'm just lucky I get to tuck them in at night, sometimes…"
"I didn't say that…"
"That's exactly what you're saying mom. And maybe that's partly justified but…they're not perfect…She's not perfect. And I've been there. I've tried to be there. I'm not him." I whispered it, and shook the vague memory I had of my father out of my head quickly.
"I certainly didn't say that Jackson. It's a different marriage. That man would never dream of coming at me…"
I gulped, ashamed. "Alright Ma…"
"I did mean it today when I said you were a good dad. Those girls think you walk on water, too. It's sweet. But let's be clear, here. I'm not here to free up your schedule for you. In fact, I called Grey-Sloan and I'm going to be working, some. But you've gotta schedule some therapy or something for Tenley…"
"Ma, that's none of your business."
"April wants it to be my business, honey. Her mom took care of you, now I'm looking out for her and the children. I know you've made it work. But you almost just hit her so I'll be damned if you tell me she doesn't need a little extra support. All I'm saying is, you need to take some time off. It's about time you helped your children deal."
"OK, well. I really have to talk to my wife now. Will you just go home and…for tonight just…help Karen get them to bed? She's leaving early in the morning and I don't think she's packed."
"I most certainly will NOT. For one thing, it's five now. The party's just ending. There is no waaay those girls are going to be ready for bed any time soon. I saw the spread you had, for dessert."
"It's her favorite. All of them. All of my girls have huge sweet tooth's." I let myself smile, a small smile.
She ignored me. "And for another I will not leave April with you unless she tells me to. I will not even let you step into that room if she…"
"Well check then," I motioned for her to get up. "But if she wants to see me, please go. And help Karen. With whatever. Open presents with them or something."
Mom stood up and raised her eyebrows at me. "See, this is what I mean. This is what April means. You really think it's a good idea to skip out on opening presents when you already ditched the end of her party?"
"No! No! She knew I was leaving. And if April will let me…I need to fix this. So if you can please help get the kids to bed tonight, if it's necessary…"
"Child, you really think she's going to let you sleep over after you…" she was rolling her eyes at me.
"I saw her slicing her thighs open with my daughter in her lap, both of them looking like petrified zombies. I carried them through these hospital doors while they screamed about men coming to get them because of some broken glass…I sleep with that little girl wrapped tightly in my arms every night now, because she wakes up scared if I'm too far away. That wasn't me, Ma. That wasn't me in there. And I think my wife knows more than anyone, especially now, that people break, sometimes. I cracked just a little, Ma. I cracked and I can only hope she understands and forgives me. That wasn't me."
"OK, Jackson, OK…" For once, she had no other words. I had no idea what she knew of that night. I certainly hadn't spoken a word to her about it. She turned from me to go check on April.
Her back was to me when I entered the room. She was laying down, curled up in a fetal position staring into space, or out the window. I couldn't see. I was sure she was crying, too. But I didn't hear anything. "Thank you for asking her to go home and be with the girls. I'm gonna lay next to you, alright? And lock the door. Tell me if it's not alright." One of the perks of owning the place. There were a few private rooms with locks on the door in this wing.
She was frozen. I took that as permission. I knew she was awake. The bed was small. I had to curl up tightly to lie down and instinctively I wrapped my arms around her. She let out an audible gasp and jumped to the very edge of her side of the bed. I swallowed. "I'm so sorry, April. I'm sorry. I would never hit you…I just…"
"Yes you would have. If your mother didn't step in. You were going to." It was a whisper and I thought maybe I heard a slight stutter. I had reduced my wife to this; she was a fragile ball of fear. She was afraid of me, with good reason. I thought I knew what failure was, before. But I'd never felt it as much as I did in this moment. I was scum. But I needed her to forgive me.
"You know how you keep telling me you weren't yourself the night you came in here?" She nodded. "I don't think I really believed you until tonight. I know what you mean now. Because I wasn't myself. She had a lot of trouble eating, today for some reason. I think she was really overwhelmed but trying to be happy at the same time. But she can't eat finger foods, all of the sudden. Or at least she couldn't today. And I barely noticed the food separating thing until she said it out loud this morning. So when I was cutting up her food today, and watching her struggle to eat French fries, which she usually loves, I felt guilty. And then Braelyn spilled sand and Tenley had a full on meltdown. And while I was holding her on the floor of the den to calm her down I was just thinking about how sad it was that my little girl was suffering even though she was trying so hard to have fun on her birthday. But she thinks you're here because of messes and germs…"
"I never had a germ thing. Not really badly anyway."
"Well she thinks you're here because of messes and germs and dirt. She said 'Messes send my mama to the hospital' or something. And I just snapped a little bit. But I held it in, because she needed me there for dessert. It took a lot of strength for her to let me put the candles in her cake. But then she couldn't eat a cupcake without me cutting it up and…"
April turned to look at me, finally. "A cupcake?" I nodded. "But we love those." Not she. We.
I didn't know if it was the sweetest or saddest thing I'd ever heard. So I ignored it. "So I was really furious at you…but I looked for my mom because she had helped me through the lunch. She helped me ignore the concerned adult stares. But she wasn't anywhere and…"
"Oh." Her voice was stronger now, though still sad. My wife knew me. She knew that it was a big deal for me to need my mother.
"Yeah. So by the time I got here, between thinking it over in the car and, seeing you laughing…I just. If you broke, I cracked, just for a second, OK? I cracked. But that wasn't me, all right? I'm sorry. That wasn't me. I'm sorry."
"OK."
"OK? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love you, April. That will never…"
"I love you too, Jackson. I'm sorry your mom was…"
She let me slide my arms around her and pull her to me. "Don't you say you're sorry to me. You have nothing to apologize for. This was all me…"
"But you weren't yourself." April chuckled, not sarcastically, but it was kind of ridiculous.
"I'm not looking for an excuse, though. If you want me to leave, if you need some time just…"
"No. No. I forgive you. And I mean it…I know you wouldn't…maybe you would've even paused before you…if your mom didn't…just like you know I wouldn't hurt Tee. I didn't do this on purpose."
She started crying again. I kissed the back of her neck, a mistake. "No! Don't use sex to distract me. You don't get to do that anymore!"
"That wasn't about sex, April. It was just…OK, I won't kiss you. I'm sorry."
"I'm afraid if I let you kiss me, then…"
"Whoa, you're afraid to kiss me?" I deserved it. I should've expected it. But it still hurt.
"No. No. That's not what I said…I just...That was intense before…"
"I know. But I want you to trust me. Do you trust me, April?" She bit her lip and nodded at me. She positioned herself to give me space to roll on top of her.
I let him climb on top of me, knowing what might happen. Knowing what I wanted to happen. Yes, he made a horrible mistake that might have turned into a disaster. I also made a horrible mistake, which did cause multiple disasters. And I couldn't fix all of them. But I could forgive him, I could let him love me. He framed my face with his hands and I held my breath for a second. He noticed. "My hands will never hurt you. I promise."
I saw tears behind his eyes and leaned up to kiss him. "I know. I know." But I felt my eyes well up, too.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He kissed down my neck, and then, ever so slowly inched my shirt over my head, as if he was waiting for me to stop him. I wasn't going to. It might've been insane, but I craved his touch more than I ever had before. He started placing small kisses down my stomach and I decided to help him with my bra. He clearly needed a hint. He looked a little bit confused, but seemed to understand. He changed direction and took one of my breasts in his mouth, eliciting a moan that surprised even me. It was guttural and desperate. I needed this. I needed him more than I even knew.
His lips and fingertips worked their way down my body, making me feel things I never had before. His lips on my thigh, his fingers on my hips. Sex for us was always intense, it always mattered. But for some reason, every intense feeling was magnified by a thousand, this time. Even though I was just lying there, feeling his kisses.
Jackson disappeared under the covers and I panicked. That was not what I wanted, not what I needed. "No. Please. I need you, Jackson." It was a difficult moment for me, for a few reasons. I was used to surrendering to him, almost completely, whenever we were intimate. It's just what made me comfortable. And then there was the fact that even though I forgave him, I was confused and upset and a million other things.
"I'm right here, April. But we can't…I don't have a condom. Just relax, sweetheart. You need this." He slid underneath the covers again and I was livid. What I needed? What I needed was a husband who'd never even think to hit me, no matter who he was in the moment. What I needed was a partner who could put his pride aside to get his daughter the help she needed, finally. But as suddenly as it had come, I lost my confidence. And it really did feel so good, so I didn't stop him.
"Fuck you! I hate you!" she screamed as she came. That was a new one. She usually didn't speak much, especially not during that particular activity.
I squeezed next to her as she caught her breath. "That good, huh?"
"You're an ass. You really are the biggest jerk."
"What? April, I…you wanted…"
"I told you what I wanted, that was hard for me. And you just ignored me because…" she wiped angry tears from her eyes.
"Sweetheart. I didn't have a condom. You get pregnant pretty easily, we know that. I'm surprised we don't have at least one more kid considering that…"
"I know. I know you think I'm an idiot because I don't believe in birth control since we're married."
"I don't think you're an idiot. I respect your belief but I'd really like to discuss it because another baby is not something I'm willing to…"
"What about me? What about what I want, Jackson?" She was crying again. "What if that really is what I want? Another child…"
"April, please try to understand. Our baby isn't even three months old, she hasn't even smiled yet. You're being treated for…"
"I know. I know. But today you just made the decision that…"
"I didn't make any decision today…I told you that right now I was just worried about dealing with the challenges in front of us. Not creating more."
"Fine! Deal with them then, Jackson. Actually open your eyes and deal with them. Every time Dr. C brings up Tenley you…"
"I'm trying. I'm gonna try harder to help her, from now on. I didn't realize it was as bad as it is and I just…"
"Decided to take it out on me…" And we'd come full circle.
"I'm sorry, April. I told you, I…."
"And now you won't even make love to me, even after I forgave you and…" The tears came down in a flood again.
"April, we're officially going in circles. I told you why and I'm not budging on that right now. So I think I should…" I started to sit up to leave, but she pulled me back down, climbing on top of me.
"Please, baby…please. I'm not gonna get pregnant. Just…kiss me, Jackson. Let's go slow and see...You're always telling me you want me to take control. So now I am. You're just worried, right?" I nodded, knowing she wasn't exactly herself, right now. Knowing it was my fault.
"Don't be worried, I promise I won't…" She was unbuckling my belt, about to make a promise I knew she had no control over. I knew I would give in, and that she wasn't about to play any games to try and prevent anything from happening.
And then my phone rang, and I reached for it, quickly. Saved by Catherine Avery three times in one day.
"Hello?"
"My dad. Why is you not here?"
"Oh hi birthday, girl. I will be home soon."
"I don't want to open my bir-day 'resents wit my nana and my gramma. I wanna open dem wit you here too, pease."
"Alright, Tee. I'll be home soon I promise. Why don't you get your jammas on. By the time you do that I'll be home."
"Oh, but it not late my dad. Me an' Bellie want to put on tutus and do a show for you, pease? 'Acause she gaved me a tutu for my bir-day. Purple. She telled me. Can we, my daddy?"
"Yeah baby. That sounds so fun."
"OK, so you comin' home right now?"
"Right now, sweet girl."
I heard her whisper to her sister before she got back on. "What song you wants for da show?"
"Oh I don't know, You pick for your birthday."
"OK, I love you, my dad."
"I love you, Tenley. I'm gonna go now so I can get in the car, soon."
"My dad?"
"What, my girl?"
"Thanks for my party. I haved fun even if I cried. I sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry. I'm glad you had fun. Now go get your dancing stuff on. I'm gonna hang up now."
"Ok."
"Ok. Bye Tee."
I hung up and she immediately kissed my jaw. "I love you. And I'm sorry for everything. But I'm gonna go now. I shouldn't have left that party."
April rolled her eyes. "God forbid you spend time with me on her birthday. Because why would you think of me, today? Why would it be hard for me?" She climbed off of me.
"Hey! I think you should talk to someone, when I leave. Because I came here angry. And whatever we did just now didn't make anything better. But you're not really making sense right now. You know it's best if I leave. I know you know that."
"You're right. I'm sorry," she whispered as I stood up. "You think I'm crazy. You don't think I'm ready to…"
"Shh! I think I made a mess, tonight. And we both need to sleep on everything. And if you feel good about it, and the doctors feel good about it, of course I will bring Laidy tomorrow. Nothing would make me happier."
"Ok. That's fair." I framed her face and kissed her goodbye. She didn't flinch. "Hey babe?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think we can spend some time talking about Tee, together? I want to help you figure it out."
"Sure, April."
"I love you, and we're gonna be fine."
"Yeah. We'll be fine." But I wasn't quite sure I didn't ruin our chance at even just fine, tonight.
"So tomorrow, what are you gonna do, Tenley girl?" We were snuggled up in bed, after a pretty long night of tutu twirling to early Britney Spears hits and present opening. Tee loved her jewelry box from her sister, her underwater castle, and despite her current troubles with cupcakes, even her play bakery made her smile, because her mama picked it out weeks ago. When life was different.
"I gon' eat one time on my big girl plate, no cryin'. Pro-mise, my dad."
"When did you decide?"
"Oh fer brek-fast 'acause rest of the day I can have aparts plate." I sighed. I had been hoping for any other logic besides that, but I'd take any small victory at this point.
"What did you do for the rest of your party? Did you have fun?"
"Umm hmmm. Bounce wit Uncle Owen and Bellie and Brae and Sandra and Auntie 'Melia jus' watch cause she haves a baby in the pop in her belly. She say she jelly of us, wants it out."
"I bet she does, it's almost done cookin'."
"I gon' have nother sissy. Don't know what name yet."
I yawned, my day had been exhausting, especially the last half, even though my daughters made me laugh. "Kind of, princess."
"Daddy?" Just daddy. I smiled and kissed the top of her head, trying not to make a big deal out of it.
"What?"
"Mommy gon' have more pops in her belly, like Auntie 'Melia dos?"
"I don't know sweetheart. I really don't know. Try not to worry about it, OK?"
Tee giggled. "Ok, she have to come home afore you can give her a baby in the pop." I cursed Harper for teaching Arabella biology in small truths. I'd rather say God gave babies at this point. It's what April believed, sort of. I didn't want to be responsible for putting any more babies in my wife's belly any time soon.
"Yeah, Tee. Now tell me, what was your favorite part of your birthday?"
"Oh, I talked to my mom on the video and eated bir-day pie and telled her it was yummy."
"Really? Not making shells with Ariel?"
"I maded one fer me and one fer my mama. Sparkly, same color. Mines is small and mama's is big, like real life. I her baby."
"You're not a baby anymore, Tee. You're three."
"I mama's baby and you baby always, right? Mama say dat."
"I guess if mama says it, it must be true." Tenley nodded. "Hey let's try to go to sleep now alright? Daddy has a big day tomorrow."
"What is you doin'?"
"I think I'm takin' baby Adalaide to see your mom."
"She need her turn, then I goes gen, right?"
"I think so, sweet girl. Yes." She smiled against my chest and nodded off instantly. The day wore us both out, it seemed.
"April! April! NO! NO! NO! IT WASN'T ME! IT WASN'T ME!"
"Bad dream, bad dream go way. Sweet dream, sweet dream, here fer stay. Bad dream, bad dream go way. Sweet dream, sweet dream, here fer stay." I woke up in a pitch-black guest room to my daughter whispering in my ear, placing tiny kisses on my cheek. There were tears in my eyes.
"Oh Tee. I'm sorry. Daddy's sorry for waking you up. I had a bad dream I guess, huh?"
"Yeah. You haved a nigh-mare. But it OK 'cause I knows how to do what my mama dos fer me."
"Did I scare you?"
"No. I knows a nigh-mare my dad."
"I know you know what a nightmare is. I'm sorry about that, Tee." I could only hope she didn't ever experience one of this magnitude in her lifetime.
April didn't tell me about facing down Gary Clark and his gun until after we were married. Our second night in Lake Tahoe, to be exact. We laid in bed and she told me exactly what she said to save her life, what she felt, what she saw, none of it had left her. Just like none of it had left me. We'd supported each other in the past, and talked about Reed and Charles, but we'd never shared details. We were best friends, but those were tough details to share with anyone. Plus, we were both there. There almost wasn't too much to say until we were married. We just knew.
In my nightmare, April stood opposite me in the hallway, hands in the air. She recited her name, age, birthday, hometown, her parents' professions and names. She talked about her sisters, said their names; and then the speech changed. "My daughters. They need me. Please, please." Her hair was the exact shade of red it was today. She didn't have to say her kids' names. In fact, she didn't have to say any of it. I knew it all. I was the one holding the gun. And I pulled the trigger.
I tried to hold myself together to get my daughter back to sleep, but inside I was a mess. "Is that what your mama says, to help you sleep?"
"Yeah. She say 'bad dream, bad dream go way. Sweet dream, sweet dream here fer stay. Den she sing song."
"Well daddy can't sing."
"I didn't haved nigh-mare. You did," my daughter reminded me.
"I know. But I want to help you sleep. "
"I no need help. You dos. You needs you wife." She yawned against my chest and closed her eyes. She was right.
When I was sure Tenley was definitely asleep I reached for my cell phone.
"Jackson, what are you…what's wrong?" Her voice was raspy with sleep.
"I'm sorry, April. I'm sorry. I love you."
"I know. You said that, babe. We're fine. Jackson, it's one a.m. What happened?"
"The shooting. I was him. And I pulled the trigger."
"Oh, Jackson." I was trying to hide my tears from her. "It was a nightmare. You didn't do anything."
"But I…"
"But nothing. You could've easily pushed your mother aside. But you didn't want to. You left. And it was just a nightmare."
"You're not gonna leave me, are you?"
"No, Jackson, never. We're going through something, that's all. Calm down, babe, Tee's there, right?"
"Yeah. She woke me up…She had nightmares before…"
"All of your kids did, always. I think there's a genetic component to it." It haunted her thoughts, but April hardly ever had nightmares about the shooting. I had them my whole life, the shooting just made them worse.
"You teach them how to…"
"I taught them how to call me and you into their dreams. I taught them how I wake you up…sort of." I chuckled a little bit. Sort of.
"Yeah, she was kissing my cheek. It was cute. She was saying 'Bad dreams, bad dreams go away…"
"…Sweet dreams, sweet dreams here to stay." She laughed softly. "I told them you always make sure you let someone know you love them when you wake them up from a nightmare."
"She said 'You needs you wife.'" I smiled and pushed Tenley's hair out of her eyes, watching her sleep next to me.
"Well I'm glad to be there for you. But my mom's gotta leave to catch her flight in eight hours. Get some sleep."
"I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. With Laidy."
"I love you Jackson. I'll be here. Sweet dreams." I hung up the phone and pulled my daughter close to me before drifting back to sleep. We were fine. Just fine.