Chapter 13: Sexual Frustration

I was led to Audrey's office which took longer than usual, thanks to my deliberate dawdling. Once I got there, I had trouble trying to sit down comfortably. Audrey's expression was almost comical as she stared bewildered at my attempts to sit. Once I sat down and was comfortable I sighed in relief. Audrey's mouth was gaped open slightly. "Um...are you okay?" She asked finally. I nodded with a faux smile not wanting to admit to her what was happening. No doubt, she'd laugh at my discomfort after the way I had treated her. "Good. I'd like to begin by apologising for what I did yesterday. It was really immature and unprofessional of me to swear at you like that."

"If you swear again, I might just cut that little tongue of yours off. That wasn't ladylike. You're more professional than that Audrey. You should be ashamed!"

"-Thanks for not rubbing it in my face," she noted sarcastically. "I'm sorry for beating around the bush, but I'm curious – am I the only woman you treat like this, or do you get your kicks from tormenting females all the time? Why do you have to treat me so...horribly?"

"Oh, you think you're special?" I asked with a chuckle. "What if I told you I do it because I love you – would you believe me?"

One of Audrey's eyebrows raised in confusion. "Is that a serious question? Is this a test?" I merely shrugged my shoulders in reply. "Joker, I hardly believe a word that comes out of your mouth. I say this without aiming to hurt you, but I really can't imagine you caring for anything other than yourself. You definitely don't love me. You're only saying this to mess with my mind as if you don't already."

"But I do love you," I repeated with a lopsided grin.

"You don't love me – you love the idea of me."

"No, I love you."

"Well, I'm very flattered, but -"

"I'm not aiming to flatter! I'm aiming to show my true feelings towards you. I want you, I need you." Audrey stared at me looking more perplexed than ever. My sudden confession of love towards her had made her resort to a stunned silence. Half of her was still shocked while the other contemplated whether or not I was being serious. During my confession, I didn't really know what I was aiming to do. I am a guy without a plan. More than anything, I wanted to see Audrey's response. I had noted the way she acted around me. Underneath all of that eagerness to cure me, I'm almost positive that she held a soft spot for me; but I'm still unsure if it was just how she treated all her patients. She did mention that she cared deeply for her job and all of her patients. "Audrey? I'm waiting for your response."

"I'm sorry, Mr Joker. There isn't anything for me to say to that. There are strict rules regarding the relationship between a patient and its doctor, which could cost me my job. And no offence, but you're hardly the guy who could be capable of keeping a steady relationship. And you seem to be forgetting one very important factor; I'm married. Do you think I'd leave my husband for you?" She asked harshly.

"Hey, now that hurts. That was below the belt," I joked with false hurt. "How are things with your husband anyway? You never seem to mention him. You don't even have any pictures of him or anything that's sentimental worthy in this office. Has your marriage reached a bumpy road, hmm? Tell me what happened."

"Stop trying to fix something that isn't broken. Why do you assume that I and my husband aren't happy together?"

"Why do you assume that I assume this? To assume is to make an ass out of you and me," I chuckled at my own joke. My attempt to brighten the situation clearly failed when Audrey wasn't even tempted to smile. I had clearly annoyed her with the questions about her husband. The more she fussed over the idea of the questions aimed at her husband the more it seemed that she was hiding something about him.

"Look, I'm putting my foot down. I've let you intrude in my life for long enough. You know way too much about me and as a psychiatrist I shouldn't let you know so many personal things. I shouldn't have told you anything personal at all, in fact. A patient can get stuck in your head that way."

"Have you been thinking about me, doc? When you're at home, do I ever cross your mind? When you're, uh, alone?" I questioned huskily with deliberate slowness.

I saw Audrey swallow deeply as she fidgeted in her office chair uncomfortably. "You're probably going to make some sick innuendo joke with this, but yes. You're always on my mind. It's unhealthy, but I assure you, I never think of you in the way you're suggesting I am. I never think up any erotic scenarios of you having sex with me in obscene positions."

"There you go again with your silly assumptions. I almost sure now that sexual thoughts have passed your mind involving me. Such sinful thoughts whilst your husband is in bed right beside you," I teased before licking my lips lengthily.

"You know, I'm beginning to think that you're just sexually frustrated. I think I may have just made an amazing discovery. The cause to all of your problems is sexual frustration. I can't believe no-one's suggested this before. What's wrong, Joker? Having problems getting it up? Are you being deprived of any female intimacy – or male intimacy?" She questioned sardonically.

I rolled my eyes at her attempts to taunt me. She should know by now that I could do it back ten times worse. She may have a husband, but she seems far too in depth with her job to be interested in sex. I doubt her husband got a lot of action at all. "Actually, you'd be surprised," I stated cryptically.

"What do you mean? Have you slept with someone recently?" She questioned eagerly as she lurched forward on her desk with wide eyes. The notion resembled that of a nosy, female high school student.

"Look at you – you little gossip! I'm not sure if I should tell you. You did say you weren't going to be personal with me anymore. I don't see why I should have to be personal with you."

"If you don't tell me, I'll forever assume you're a guy with erectile dysfunctions and hasn't been laid for god knows how long. Come on, who's it going to hurt if you tell me?"

"Ah, I really don't see why you're so eager to know, but I also see no reason why I shouldn't tell you. Last night, Wendy snuck into my cell. One thing led to another and I assume you know the rest." Noticeably, Audrey's smile faltered into a hybrid expression. Both anger and shock were evident in her eyes and suddenly I felt as if I shouldn't have told her anything.

"Wendy?" She asked almost irritably. Her voice was almost audible, but I could clearly detect the hint of annoyance soaking it. I nodded my head in reply. Slowly she stood up from her chair and I half expected her to begin screaming right there. Instead, however, she seemed to remain calm. "Will you excuse me for just a second?" She asked with an artificial smile. Without a response from me, she stormed out with her heels clicking against the floor.

As she exited, an Arkham guard entered. He was my babysitter now. I recognised this babysitter. The broken nose made him unmistakable considering I had given it to him. This guard was one which I had gotten into a fight with when I had attempted to escape. I couldn't help but stare at the broken nose. When I noticed him glaring at me, the room suddenly became awkward.

"If it's any consolation now, it looks like it's healing nicely," I noted trying to ease the atmosphere. I heard him breathe a sigh of displeasure as he continued to glare at me. I swallowed hard when he showed no signs of speaking back. "It was nothing against you personally. A broken nose actually makes you look manlier – not that I'm saying that you weren't manly before. But you know what they say; chicks love scars – so why can't it be the same for broken noses?"

"Shut up clown, before I make you look manlier," the guard finally growled in response. A tad harsh. I was only trying to create a simple conversation.

Thankfully, Audrey returned soon after so I didn't have to endure the painful silence any longer. The guard left and now it was just me and Audrey again. "Is there a problem?" I asked when I noticed Audrey's dishevelled stature.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine. I just went to have a word with Wendy that's all," she explained briefly. I heard her muttering incoherent words to herself, which I can only assume were profanities.

"Uh, I'm sorry, but am I missing something? Why did you just go talk to Wendy? What's up with you two?" I questioned, utterly confused. I chewed at my scars as I waited for an answer. The slight disposition between Audrey and Wendy had never really bothered me before because it's never really been a problem, but now curiosity had gotten the best of me.

"As you know, there is a rule about patients and workers here in Arkham. And don't get me wrong, it's not your fault; it's Wendy's. But that's not what's troubling me most. I'm actually scared for her. She really doesn't know what she's getting into with you. And I mean that in the least insulting way. It's also for your sake too. Please, listen to me when I tell you to stay away from her. Wendy is a little schemer and she knows exactly what she wants. I assure you, she's only using you to get something that she wants out of it. Don't trust a word she says. In fact, just don't talk to her. Stay away from her all together. She really hates me, so whatever it is she's after is probably something which she can use against me."

"Sounds like someone's jealous," I sang mockingly.

Audrey sighed and walked over to me. She sat beside me and stared directly into my eyes. "Please, I'm begging you. This is serious, stay away from her. I really don't know what she's planning, but it's most likely not going to be to your advantage. I'm trying to kill two birds with one stone here, so if you stay away from each other, no-one gets hurt."

My eyes rolled upwards as I contemplated whether or not I should take Audrey's advice. "Look, I'm a big boy, you don't have to patronise me. I can take care of myself. If Wendy wants to get in trouble, she'll get herself into trouble. Personally, I don't care what she does to me. Do you know why, hmm? Because I know I'll be able to do far worse."

I was about to turn my head away from her, until she gripped my jaw with her thumb and index finger, forcing me to look at her still. "Promise me, you won't kill her."

"I promise I won't kill her...yet."

"Joker!"

"What? I don't see the bad side to killing her. You don't like her, I don't like her. It's only fair if I kill her. Some people just need to be killed, Audrey. Wendy is one of those people."

"Seeing at there's no point in trying to talk you out of it, I'm just going to stop talking," she informed as she stood up from the sofa. "I think it's the end of the session now." I stood up as she said this and followed her towards the door. "Well, Joker, thanks for another –" Before I let her finish her sentence, I gripped either side of her face with my hands and crashed my lips down onto hers. Immediately she began struggling to escape my grip and muffled screams attempted to pass through her lips. Her feeble attempts to push me away amused me, so I couldn't help put chuckle throatily as her tiny hands attacked my chest. One of my hands went around to the back of her head, while the other slid down her back and pressed her body closer to mine. The sudden lack of space between us trapped her hands in between her chest and mine.

Her moans of displeasure continued as she now tried to get an arm free. I opened my eyes for a second to see that her brow was creased and her eyes were wide open staring at the CCTV camera. It made me wonder; if that camera wasn't there, would she have been enjoying the kiss? Nevertheless, I smiled into the kiss at her discomfort.

Soon after, Audrey managed to wriggle one of her arms free and instantaneously after I felt a stinging slap to the side of my face. I broke away out of shock and wriggled my jaw to ease the pain. "Ow," I said with a chuckle. "You've got a good hit there, doc," I complimented as I felt the now burning skin.

Audrey's frown still marked her head, except now her eyes were wide open at me. "What are you doing?" Audrey whisper-shouted as she wiped away my taste from her lips. Fortunately for her, I wasn't wearing make-up today considering I'd just come out of the shower.

"It's just a little something to think about...tonight – when you're alone," I purred before winking at her and sniggering mirthfully. Audrey said nothing else, but instead opened her office door for me to leave. Whilst continuing my taunting snickering, I was led down the corridor, making sure Audrey still heard my laughter.

Hey, my balls didn't hurt anymore.

*.*.*.*

A/N: I had trouble with the chapter title. In the end, I decided with Sexual Frustration. It isn't really inspired by anything, but I couldn't think of what else to call it.

I think the conversation about being in love with Audrey is a reference to The Sopranos. I'm pretty sure something similar happens in one of the episodes but I'm not entirely sure.

I personally love The Joker and Audrey's relationship best. I'm sorry if it seems that majority of the chapters are with her, I might be a little biased. I also apologise for scarcity of Jezebel. There should be more of her and Joker soon. I don't like Wendy at all. She's a bitch really.

If you like this story, you might want to check out my newish one called, Winter Kiss. I'm just finishing uploading the chapters that I'd already uploaded on Mibba.

Cookies for reviewers. I actually do have cookies made, but it'd be physically impossible to give them to you via internet. =[