Renesmee

I broke down again, seeing the scene over and over again. I closed my eyes and focused on mentally hurting myself and trying to spare my friend of that hurt. I don't care if it's impossible, I screamed to my own thoughts. I have to try! Someone call the doctor...

Jane stared at me, not like I expected at all. I expected terror or hate or sadness, but the only thing I saw was shock. I wasn't even sure if she was shocked from seeing the image, or seeing an image, or just the idea of me feeling horrible.

The door opened behind me, and Jacob came to me. He tried to make me calm down, but I ignored it.

"Go away," I snapped, making myself feel worse. "Go get Carlisle."

He didn't seem overly happy about me still feeling horrible, but he left without a word. Carlisle came in a few seconds after Jacob left, and he pulled up a chair beside me. I wasn't sure what to do, so I thought, Help me.

"I shouldn't have let you out," he said, making me stand up. "Go back to your room and calm down."

I shook my head, but I went anyway. That was the one thing I needed – calm. It's pretty damn hard to calm down when everybody around me is freaking out! I screamed internally. I burst into the hall, and Dad caught me before I could punch a dynamic hole in the wall.

"Calm down, now," he ordered, grabbing both my shoulders and stopping me in my tracks. "Hurting yourself will not help anybody. Trust me, I know."

I glared up at him. He looked unhappy, but I was sure he had no idea how I felt. I repeat my thought from before! Leave me alone. He didn't let go, so I decided to play hard. Do you want to know how Mom felt when you left?!

My glare and my thought hit him hard, and he let go immediately. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Go ahead."

"Thank you," I hissed, walking to some unknown destination. I looked around crazily, and settled on hiding in the bathroom. I swung through the door easily, and decided to stare into one of the three sinks.

What to do? I thought as I took a calming breath. God, where is Jasper when I need him? Not here. I turned the hot water tap on and let it run down the drain. After a few painful seconds, I turned the taps on the other two sinks and let the air around me warm.

"So, this is what panic feels like," I said to myself. "How am I supposed to calm down when I don't know what would make me calm? Usually everything around me is calm. Calm Forks. Calm Renesmee. Why doesn't anybody say good ways to calm down?" Maybe chewing gum would work. It would definitely help, since biting the inside of my cheek was helping nothing.

I pulled a new pack of gum out of my pocket and ripped the plastic off, tossing it in the garbage under the sinks. It was the best kind, a light, tropical flavour, and I hoped it would help me level off. At an inhuman speed, I flipped the package open and started with a random piece.

A few minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom, feeling way more composed than I did before. I felt better, so I decided to go back to Jane's room.

__________

Carlisle was already gone, and Jane was reading a big book in her bed. I took a few steps before she noticed I was there, and then she waved to me. I waved back guiltily, and sat down in my unmoved chair.

"You hit them both," Jane said matter-of-factly, putting down her book. "But, apparently, they're fine. For now, at least."

I sighed. "What happened to them?"

"Um, a lot. You ran right into Alex – thanks, by the way – but David only hit the side of the bumper, so he's going to have a scar from the metal."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I stopped as fast as I could, you know."

"Yeah," she said lightly, "but he's not great. I think he tried to jump so he wouldn't get run over. He's got a couple big cuts and a beautifully broken leg. Right near the foot, so he's not allowed to stand until it gets better." She looked at me carefully. "Carlisle told me. I haven't seen them yet. Do you want to come with me?" I shook my head, and then nodded. "I'm taking that as a yes."

She flipped the blanket off her legs and stood up. I was surprised by how fast she was, considering that she was just sitting in a hospital bed. I knew it was just in case, but still. I stood up too, and Jane walked halfway to the door.

"Are you coming?" she said. "I think you should apologize to them, more than me."

I sighed again and walked past her, opening the heavy door. I looked down the hall and nodded to the last door. We walked quietly to the room, and I saw that the door wasn't closed all the way. Jane and I exchanged a look, and she knocked.

"Just go in," I whispered. "The worst they can do is kick us out."

Jane snorted. "The worst we can do is see them when they don't want to be seen."

I knew what that meant – I didn't try to fight the laugh that came. It made me feel so much better. My guilt was gone for one second, and then it came back, not as heavy as before, but still strong. With a light shake of my head, I nudged Jane out of the way and opened the door, closing my eyes.

"Aloha," Jane said as I let the door close behind me. I walked forward carefully, blinded by my eyelids. I knew it was because I didn't want to see the damage I had done. Gramps is going to arrest me, I realized.

"Good morning," two voices said, making me think about opening my eyes. I felt around and sat in a chair close to the door.

"What's with you?" David asked me. I shook my head. "You have issues."

"She really does," Jane agreed. "Ness, open your eyes. They're fine."

Almost unwillingly, I opened my eyes. When I saw them, I was glad I came in.

David was sitting in front of one of the big chairs on the other side of the room, playing Solitaire on the floor. The only thing that wasn't normal about him was a bruise on his forearm that I assumed was from the car. He was smiling as if nothing had happened.

I looked to the bed a few feet away, expecting a horrible scene. But Alex looked fine. He was reading one of the biggest books I'd ever seen. There were scrapes on his hands, and his left cheek. He was sitting on a row of pillows, and it looked like he was wearing a brace over his left knee. He looked up at me and waved.

"I think you're forgiven," Jane said. She sat on the ground beside David and observed his game of Solitaire.

"Maybe," I muttered. I heard footsteps coming down the hall, and I knew who was coming. That put one thought in my head, and my fast-beating heart went a little faster.

No.