Chapter Thirteen: Happiness is a Warm Gun
"When I was your age, they would say we can become cops or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?" Frank Costello from The Departed
For two weeks, Lauren had to fight with her feelings and not give in to Bo. Still, it was hard seeing her almost every day and not taking advantage. It was hard not to pull her into a room and try to ravage her. It was hard to look Trick in the eyes, knowing what she had come close to doing again with his granddaughter.
Actually, Lauren had been spending more and more time with Trick because of work and running evaluations on all of the soldiers and the other families. Apparently, this was something she was to expect to happen more frequently, but she had gotten lucky that the tension and power plays between the families were in the "off season" when she arrived. Lauren wasn't complaining because she did appreciate the time to prepare herself more for the action-packed life she signed up for. It was almost like she was owned now; like she had no way out. Not that she ever thought there was a way out before, but now was even worse. Now, she was a major part of this family, and from digging into the records, she knew nobody could ever actually leave.
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave," Lauren said to her reflection as she washed her hands like she was prepping for surgery. The bathroom attendant looked at her but made no verbal acknowledgement; her judging eyes told Lauren all she needed to know. She knew what type of woman were usually brought here to this restaurant, despite its high price tag, and honestly, Lauren felt no better than a high class call girl at the moment. She felt like she sold out, for some reason. She had given up on Bo, when all she really wanted was for Bo to fight for her. To fight to be with her. Trick and the family be damned.
Spending more time with Trick also gave Lauren more time to get a real feel for the man. She started to catch onto his little tricks and triggers and realized just how dangerous he could be, if provoked. Still, she had a hard time imagining this man would consider killing her just because Lauren loved his granddaughter and vice versa. Maybe it's because she wanted to believe it; maybe that was her one bit of naïveté she held onto. Maybe it was the one thing she needed to believe to tell herself she wasn't working for a monster.
There had to be more to the story; he wouldn't just kill somebody because they were interested in Bo. If that were true, then why wasn't Dyson or Bryce's father dead right now? Why did Trick only go after certain lovers? She was starting to form a hypothesis, but there was no solid proof or way to find the evidence needed to really get a solid answer. She could ask Stella for the information, but the woman acted like Lauren was way beneath her and shouldn't be in a position of power at all. Plus, she was Trick's lover, so that wouldn't do good if she wanted to keep the information secret. There was no doubt where Stella's loyalties were placed, and it was definitely not with her.
What could or would Trick really do to his own granddaughter? Would he really do anything to her just because she loved Lauren? Sure, he was scary and was called the Blood King for a reason, but Lauren wasn't just family; she was beyond close family. She was the consigliere now. Thinking back, wasn't that why Lauren started to accept Bo's advances? When Bo used logic to say that Lauren had some power now, too, so Trick would want them close, she had made perfect sense. If ever Trick were to allow them to be together, it was because they were meant to be close.
Then again, Lauren could be projecting her own desires for everything to be okay. Not just for her and Bo, but for Bo and Bryce. Surely Trick wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize or traumatize his great grandson. Maybe that's why he didn't do anything to Bryce's father, despite him being an easy target. From what Lauren found on him, Avery wasn't a particularly impressive soldier in Bo's father's army. He was just a bit player; one that could easily be discarded.
Lauren had to stop and reprimand herself. She was starting to think too much like the Elders talked in the meetings, referring to people as mere soldiers who were expendable, as though they didn't have their own lives and families outside of their job.
Instead of dwelling too much more than she already was, Lauren decided she had scrubbed her hands enough and needed to return to their table so they could leave. The attendant was still giving her strange looks, like she was surprised Lauren was acting like a first timer. For a second, Lauren thought it would be easier to be a call girl in this scenario. Before she excused herself to the bathroom, Trick asked her a question about Bo and she about lost her composure. It was an innocent enough question, but it was how he worded it: "How is Bo coming along?" She wished she was witnessing exactly that at the moment instead of dealing with yet another business dinner. The image of Bo's lips parting and her breathy pleas were not helping her gain her composure back.
Lauren blushed again from the memory of where her mind actually went at that question, as she accepted the hand towel from the attendant. She knew she was acting like a nervous lovestruck teenager, which was not helping her case with this woman, who now decided to just smirk knowingly as though she had seen this thousands of times. Handing her back the towel, Lauren wondered just how often this woman really did see this. Did that mean the family also dealt in or accepted prostitution? Why wouldn't they put that in the books? It wasn't like they didn't have everything else coded and documented.
When she walked back out into the restaurant, she was not surprised to find Trick greeting several other patrons. He didn't directly own this place, but he might as well have from the way he was acting. These were the moments when Lauren realized just how truly influential Trick was within the community. Seeing this usually was like a splash of cold water to the face. It reminded her that she and Bo could never be alone; there really were eyes everywhere. A quick scan even caused Lauren to notice the cute blonde from the Dal was sitting casually at the bar, talking to someone who was obviously a stranger and was obviously unwanted attention. Lauren smirked because it was the first time she really had a chance to notice the other woman. Hale was right; this woman did check her out whenever they were at the Dal at the same time. She was hot – there was no denying that – which boosted Lauren's confidence a bit that she could pull in two extremely attractive women like that. It had been a long time since she had even paid attention to others, but one thing coming close to Bo again made her realize was that she had some physical needs that definitely needed attending. The kind that required a particular form of human contact because there was only so much her own fingers could do. Having another beautiful woman like this stranger in her proximity and obviously on her radar made Lauren almost feel like she could walk up to the bar and save her from the unwanted stranger. If she wasn't so caught up in her recent Bo dilemma, she actually may have. It had definitely been too long.
Nadia happened too fast for there to be any real appreciation for her beauty and boost to her confidence because of it. They started dating the first night they met, which was as strangers waiting on separate planes. Lauren was headed someplace entirely different from Nadia; they were going in different directions, but somehow, they had found themselves dating again when they came back to the city. Even if it took Lauren a bit to warm up and trust Nadia, she had still loved her and had meant it when she agreed they should do the family thing. She was the only person other than Bo who Lauren genuinely cared for, and Lauren always felt guilty because she was subconsciously comparing Nadia to Bo sometimes, and that would cause her to pull away at various points throughout. Thinking back, Nadia had been the one to insist they go to the family picnic; Lauren hadn't wanted to, but she gave in so she could prove to Nadia she was over Bo and there was nothing to worry about. If they had only known. If Lauren had only said no like she had so many times before.
Letting out a deep breath, Lauren made her way back over to Trick and the others. Tonight was a small affair: Trick, Dyson, and herself. He was trying to get advice on whether to kill someone from Lachlan's family, who was doing way too much digging into matters he shouldn't be. Dyson had stayed quiet, and Lauren wasn't sure what answer to give him. Trick did all of the talking and had obviously made a decision already; tonight was just about him trying to follow protocol. Even with finally being acclimated to this lifestyle, she still had a hard time practically signing a stranger's death warrant. Trick finally decided himself that it was in the family's best interest to eliminate the threat before it escalated and to remind others from other families to stay out of McCorrigan territory and business.
Trick had really buckled down tightly after the wine shipment fiasco and the back alley fights that seemed to be getting more frequent. While it kept the doctor part of her busy, she still hated knowing the reason why so many soldiers needed mending. She had even come close a few days ago to losing her first soldier, but the woman had recovered better than expected after a particularly long and difficult emergency surgery. After that surgery, Lauren was worried and scared and afraid to admit she was worried and scared, and she had almost given in and just called Bo. Somehow, she still managed to keep to her word. She didn't want to confuse Bo; she didn't want to give in until they both figured some things out. Then again, she wanted to not give in back in the day, either, but that never meant she didn't eventually. She was a stronger woman now, and it would take something major for her to break her own code again; she wasn't stupid and realized something major was always lurking around the corner. She just hoped the major stuff could wait until she and Bo at least figured some stuff out.
Trick said goodbye to one last person, a retired Elder whom Lauren recognized immediately. How could she not? It wasn't even the rose on her lapel that gave her away. Even if she had aged, Dr. Everett still looked the same. Lauren was more surprised she hadn't sought out contact with her old mentor as soon as she decided to stay, but she knew that's not how this woman operated. She used to come over to the house to watch hockey games with her dad. For a while, Lauren suspected Dr. Everett and her dad were dating, but nothing was either confirmed or denied, and she knew better than to question her father on those things. She made the mistake once about a year after her mother died whether he would get married again. He just smiled at her, that sad smile he would get whenever her mother was mentioned in those first few years after her death. It was the same smile she was giving now when seeing this familiar woman.
"Lauren, my dear, so lovely to see you. Trick here can't stop talking about how wonderful you are. I told him you would be perfect." Elder Everett placed her glass of wine down carefully on the table, but she made no move to stand and show affection. She never did; it was part of the British upper class upbringing, from what her father explained. Lauren hadn't had a mother figure in a long time, so she had looked up to Dr. Everett, as she had known her growing up. Lauren wanted to be like her, so she even helped out at the clinic with her when she was in high school. It was the one place Bo never tried to seduce her in, so it was almost like a sanctuary. Whenever Bo came in for a checkup or was on the schedule, Lauren made it a point to be doing something with school those days. Dr. Everett never questioned; she just took her under her wing. Honestly, Lauren didn't think she would be able to make it through her first year away if it weren't for her. Dr. Everett told her to follow her dreams and that big things were happening for her in the future. Could it be that she was being molded back then to eventually take over for her father? Lauren doubted it, but she couldn't help but think it now that she was staring at this woman.
"It's good to see you again, Elder Everett." Had Lauren known she was such a major player in the family, would she have taken this woman on as a mentor? Honestly, she believed she probably would have because she was the only other adult she had to cling to when she was younger. Her brother used to tease her about being in love with the woman; he probably still would if he was here right now. It wasn't like that, though. She was an excellent doctor and loyal to the family. She would never abandon the family, and neither could Lauren. "I was sad to hear about your retirement. You were an inspiration to many."
"Yes, well, I would argue that the family is in quite capable hands now." Elder Everett smiled slightly and shared a seemingly knowing look with Trick. Maybe Lauren's theory that she was bred for this wasn't as far off as she thought. It did seem quite interesting that Dr. Everett retired as the family physician right when her father died. Even though she knew this, Lauren hadn't really given it much thought that she had actually fulfilled two major roles for the family. Her father did, too, since he was also their lawyer, so she just assumed it was common practice for the consigliere to have a cover position. When she was doing research, she discovered she was the first consigliere in the city's history to front as a doctor. It was either clever undercover work or she wasn't supposed to become a doctor. It would explain why her father considered looking over his depositions together as father-daughter bonding time; he didn't do that with her brother or sister. "Fitzpatrick, do be sure to give her anything she needs and wants. This is one asset you do not want to lose."
"Of course." Trick nodded before guiding them away from the table. Dr. Everett was never one for goodbyes, so it wasn't surprising that they all just walked casually away from the table. Lauren was glad to finally find something that hadn't changed from her past, even if the woman had aged considerably. Lauren didn't even question anymore when she was referred to as an asset. It upset her at first, but she realized not to question or act up. Wasn't that what got Dyson in trouble not too long ago, after all?
They retrieved their coats and made their way to the valet outside. It was a biting cold outside and snow had already started covering the streets again when they arrived, so it was no doubt covered by now. They knew they wouldn't have to wait long for their cars, though. The valets would have already retrieved Trick's car so Dyson could drive him home. Even if Lauren would probably have to wait for hers, she was glad to know at least somebody wouldn't have to wait. She had learned the safety features of this job; if Trick's car wasn't waiting outside, there would have been quite the uproar. Dyson may have actually even growled at the valets more than usual if they didn't do their jobs correctly, which honestly made Lauren chuckle a bit at the thought. She hated to admit she was starting to warm up to Dyson because he actually was good at his job, even if he was frustrating.
They walked to the door, nodding their thanks at the attendants holding the doors open for them. Trick's car was within view, and Dyson had started swinging the car keys between his fingers. Lauren retracted her earlier thought about warming up to him because he still did annoying things like that. When they walked outside, the cold air and snow instantly hit her face. She closed her eyes for a second to take in the temperature change. This was always her favorite part about winter; that instant cold that hit your face right when you walked outside after you've been warm and toasty for hours. She loved the physicality of being able to feel science at work within her body.
The panicked screams or the gunshots. Lauren wasn't sure what her aural senses caught first, but her eyes snapped open to find three people on the ground. Dyson was the closest, but he waved her off.
"Go help Trick." He was gripping his shoulder, which meant the bullet didn't hit anything pertinent. She moved over to where Trick was bundled on the snowy sidewalk, the red from his blood already a prominent contrast against the snow-covered sidewalk.
She reacted on instinct and didn't consider the shooter was still there. Lauren was a doctor first. There was no doubt in her mind that others were already in pursuit of finding the sniper. The bullet was obviously hit from long range, but it was precise and had hit Trick cleanly. She wasn't sure why, but if the sniper was aiming for Trick's heart, they either didn't account for the weather or movements, or they weren't very well trained snipers. She moved to apply pressure to Trick, who was luckily already unconscious so he couldn't feel the pain. He was still breathing, though. The valets couldn't have brought her car any sooner, as she called for someone to call in the emergency and tossed them keys to grab her medical kit from the boot of her car.
When the blonde from the Dal handed her the kit and opened it for her, Lauren didn't even question why she was there seemingly out of nowhere. She was there when it counted, when she needed her, and that's all that mattered right now. The blonde called in the emergency, since nobody else was apparently capable of action. This blonde wasn't even part of the family, but she was helping more than the various family members standing around and just watching in panic. They were too shocked that the don was hit to be able to react properly. Lauren took a brief second to acknowledge and appreciate that at least her stalker crush was apparently capable of responding to emergencies.
"I was a medic. The ambulance is on the way." She crouched down next to the body for a second, her brow furrowed and eyes genuinely concerned. If she didn't know better, Lauren would've sworn this woman was used to standing next to dead bodies, which would make sense since she was apparently a medic. "Apparently, you have this. Not everyone just has random med stuff like that in their trunk, so I'll go help your friend."
"Thanks." Lauren had Trick stable enough that he would be fine until the ambulance arrived. He would need emergency surgery to remove the bullet, which was still lodged in his abdomen. She couldn't think about what would happen if he didn't survive; they all knew Bo wasn't ready for this. "Hold on, Don. Help is on the way."
Lauren listened for the sirens in the distance, willing them to be quicker. The snow and biting cold were starting to get to everyone, and she had to get Trick warm or the risk of infection would increase and his chances of survival would diminish. When she finally heard the sirens approaching, Lauren felt her doctor persona take a backseat. She was no longer just Dr. Lauren Lewis; she was second-in-command. That meant that she had to call the shots.
As they were loading Dyson and Trick into their respective places, Lauren looked down at two of the soldiers in the crowd and didn't even question her decision. "Find whoever is responsible." She had never sounded more like the darker parts of herself than she had in that moment, and for once, she wasn't scared about it, and that was the part that frightened her the most. She didn't have time to dwell, though, as she stayed back and watched the medics prepare for Trick's arrival at the hospital. She knew better than to jinx herself earlier; of course major things were going to keep happening. So much for curling up in her pajamas with a glass of wine later.
Bo hadn't been able to sleep all night. At first, it was because she was worried about Bryce getting another fever, which meant he would probably have nightmares, so she stayed up and waited for his cries that never came. Eventually, she realized he would be out for the night so she decided to settle into bed. Casually watching television, she couldn't even tell what was going on. Her mind was too tired, but she knew she wouldn't be able to get much sleep.
It was the norm lately, actually. She had spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to be with Lauren, but she honestly couldn't. Short of Trick dying, she couldn't see how they would truly ever be together. Even then, would they be safe? Probably not, but Bo also realized that it didn't matter who she ended up with, she and Bryce would never truly be safe. They would always be targets; it just came with the McCorrigan name. It's why she changed hers to Dennis and begged Trick to let her keep Bryce off the radar. He refused her, and she wasn't strong enough to go against her grandfather then. It just meant that Bo would have to fight again. The problem was that she was too tired to fight right now. She just wanted to sleep, and it was making her irritable. Even Kenzi hadn't dropped by for a random ransacking of her house lately, claiming Bo was way too emotional and needed to either get laid or get sleep, preferably both.
She thought she was hallucinating when she heard a soft knock on the door. She looked at the clock and saw it was midnight, so she decided she was definitely hallucinating as her head fell back into the pillow she was clutching between her arms. When the knock happened again, she thought she was in a bad rendition of a Poe story, as she opened one eye to stare at the darkness in her bedroom. At least it was knocking and not a heartbeat she was hearing, though she couldn't figure out what that could represent in this story.
Finally, at the third knock, Bo was livid. Who would be knocking on her door at midnight? It pissed her off, but at least they had the decency to knock instead of ringing the bell, which would've definitely woken Bryce. She pulled on her robe and angrily tied it as she made her way to pull the door open, grabbing her baseball bat along the way.
It was Lauren.
It was Lauren at her house at midnight.
It was Lauren at her house at midnight and covered in bloody clothes, her eyes wide and alert from obviously being caught there by an angry Bo.
Bo dropped her bat and didn't even ask what was wrong. Instead, she pulled Lauren into a massive embrace, knowing she would tell her what happened and why she was there. Bo could feel that Lauren was okay, so it wasn't her blood. She worried it was Hale's, but then she remembered Lauren had dinner with Trick and Dyson tonight. She pulled back from the embrace but kept her hands against Lauren's back, feeling her heart beat faster and her stomach start to curdle.
"Oh, god." It was Bo's turn to widen her eyes in panic.
"There was a sniper when we came out of the restaurant. Dyson's shoulder was hit and is broken. Another woman was shot clean, which was probably the shot intended for the Don, but the woman was in the way. Trick was in critical condition, but he's stable now. They retrieved the bullet, and he was lucky it didn't hit anything vital. He'll be down and weak for a while, but he will be fine, Bo." Lauren let out a deep breath, and it was obvious this was the first time she had allowed everything to sink in. Bo desperately wanted the details; she wanted to go out there and find out who did this. She wanted to break some skulls and suck the life out of whoever was stupid enough to go after her grandfather. Seeing Lauren like she was about to break, though, caused her to reign in her emotions. This was not time for vengeance; she trusted Lauren knew what she was doing. "I am…some soldiers were sent to find the person responsible. We also have our people on the force making this a priority."
"It sounds like you have everything covered." Bo knew Lauren would be amazing in times of crisis. This just gave her a chance to prove to everyone she was the right person for the job. Since Trick was going to be fine, he would be sure that everyone knew just how right he was about Lauren Lewis. That made Bo quite proud and gave her a bit more hope that he would maybe be able to even see how Lauren would be the perfect mate. "Why didn't you call me?"
"I was busy making sure everything was covered. I'm sorry. I should have called." Lauren moved completely from the embrace and started back toward the door. "I should've called; I shouldn't have come here."
"Lauren, you should always come. I'm a fan of you coming." Bo smiled through her heavy breaths.
"Really, Bo? Now?"
"Not like that. I mean…not that I don't want it to be like that. It's just…I'm glad you're here." Bo moved forward to stop Lauren from leaving. She placed her hand lightly against Lauren's arm, willing her to stay. It's what she needed to do for some time but wasn't brave enough to do it. "It makes it easier to believe he's okay when you're here in person. I know you wouldn't leave if you didn't know he would be fine."
"I need…"
"Of course." Bo pulled her into another hug, closing her eyes and squeezing more than was probably necessary.
"I was going to say an aspirin." Lauren chuckled lightly, but Bo could still feel her heart racing and could hear the defeat in her tone.
"Right." Bo moved out of the embrace, embarrassed that she thought Lauren would want to be together now. It was silly, and she let her own needs surface. Lauren didn't need Bo to be her lover right now; she obviously needed a friend, and she obviously needed intimacy, which she wouldn't have gotten from Hale. The fact that Lauren came to her for these things immediately after a crisis was quite telling. "Let me get you some water."
"Thanks." Lauren went to sit down on the couch, but then she stopped herself for some reason. She was looking at her clothes, which were still soaked in blood. Bo went to grab her some water and aspirin and quickly returned to find Lauren still standing by the couch. She watched Lauren close her eyes and slightly relax as she took the medicine and long pulls from the glass.
"You've had a long night. Why don't you stay here?" Bo wanted to go and see for her own eyes that Trick was okay. She trusted Lauren, completely, but she needed her own visual confirmation. However, she knew if she left this house, she would see Trick weak and in his hospital bed, and she wasn't ready for that. It was selfish; she knew that. Lauren and Bryce needed her right now, though, and it wasn't like this was the first time her grandfather had survived an attack. "You're the strongest person I know, but even you need to rest."
"I…" Lauren's eyes were panicked again, as though she were finally realizing where she was.
"Lauren, please?" Bo moved forward again but was careful not to touch Lauren. She didn't want to scare her. "I'm not asking for anything more."
"Can I sleep with you?" Lauren's eyes were obviously holding back tears, and Bo felt her heart break a little at seeing this woman she loved so much being so vulnerable. Lauren had never been this vulnerable; not to this degree.
"Yes." Bo remembered Lauren's lectures about grief and how they caused people to seek out human intimacy. She wondered if Lauren was giving in now because of that need, but Bo was willing to take whatever she could get from this woman. She wondered if sleeping with a grieving Lauren would make their situation worse, but Bo was willing to do whatever Lauren asked of her.
"I meant to sleep. In your arms." Of course intimacy didn't have to mean sex, and when Lauren's voice cracked at that admission, Bo's need to go out and bust some skulls went away. Suddenly, all she needed was to stay here and protect and love this woman and stay here and protect and love her son. Maybe they could run away together? Maybe they could start a new life somewhere else, away from this city and away from this family?
"Yes, of course." Bo did move forward this time and placed a hand on Lauren's back. She guided her, since Lauren seemed to be in some sort of trance.
It wasn't what she'd imagined would happen the next time she got to see Lauren naked; the next time she'd get to peel her clothes from her. It wasn't sexual at all, but Bo had never felt this close to Lauren before, and she fell a little bit more in love with her. Bo went about helping Lauren remove her bloody clothes and helped her put on an old tshirt and sleeping pants that were falling a little off of Lauren's hips. Bo moved them to the bed and wasn't surprised when Lauren latched onto her. She was gripping her shirt too tightly, but Bo didn't complain. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but Bo didn't try to move her.
"I don't know if I can do this job. I'm not my father." Lauren was whispering, as though saying these things out loud were forbidden. They were alone, but Bo knew Lauren needed this, so she stayed quiet and only gave the necessary affirmations that she was listening. "I miss him. Tonight, seeing Trick almost lifeless on the ground, I realized I never got the chance to say goodbye to my father. At least with my mother, we knew she was dying, so we were more prepared. Without saying goodbye, we said our goodbyes because we knew. I thought there would be more time with my father, though."
"He was a good man." Bo was scared of Lauren's father because he knew about them. That wasn't fair, though, and she knew it. When they started working together, Bo started to realize just how good he was. It was a scary good, but it was good.
"I'm tired of everyone I love dying." Lauren actually was crying now; subtle tears soaking into Bo's shirt. It was something Bo didn't think she'd ever seen before with Lauren, and it made her feel closer to her somehow. Isn't that what she wanted? Isn't that what they both wanted? Why did it take a crisis to bring them together? "It's why I wanted away from here to begin with. Why did I even come back?"
"Whatever happens; whatever you decide? We're in this together." It must've been the right thing to say, as Lauren just gripped her tighter. Bo leaned over to turn the bedside lamp off when she finally felt and heard Lauren's quietly heavy breathing.
She was worried about Trick. She was worried about Dyson. She was worried about what this meant for the safety of her family. Yet, Bo had never felt safer than she did with Lauren sleeping beside her. She wanted this to happen always, and she knew it was time to man up and actually start fighting. It was time to figure out a way to make this happen. It was time to show Lauren Lewis that Bo Dennis was worth it.