Chapter 13—Grocery Store
Kurt stays locked up in his room for a good portion of Saturday morning and afternoon.
He doesn't hear anything from Dave but he's not expecting to. Knowing the few things that Kurt does about Dave, Kurt assumes that Dave is most likely isolating himself and freaking out in private because he won't allow himself to do it where other people can see him.
Much like what Kurt is doing right now.
Chandler texts him, something small and trivial that Kurt forgets immediately after reading it.
He checks his phone for texts from Blaine almost compulsively, unsure of whether or not he's waiting for a message or making sure that one doesn't come in.
He goes back and forth on his decision to break up with Blaine. If that's even what happened.
Yes, they had been having problems and yes, they weren't that affectionate with each other anymore. Does that mean that Kurt wants Blaine out of his life completely?
When Kurt gets too anxious from thinking about things that it's too late to change, (he's already on a break with Blaine, he can't go back in time and take that away,) he cycles through his sticky notes, labeling and re-labeling all of the things that remind him of Blaine.
There are so many of them.
They were together for over a year, after all.
Blaine has etched himself into so many aspects of Kurt's life.
Blaine is at Dalton, telling Kurt that he'll be safe from harassment. Blaine is at show choir competitions, wooing the crowds with his voice like melted butter. Blaine is in every room of Kurt's house, especially Kurt's room, where they talked about having sex for the first time and where they actually had sex for the second time. He's at the lima bean, telling Kurt that he loves him over two hot coffees on a sunny summer day. He's even at McKinley, in the choir room and in the hallways. Waiting for Kurt at his locker after school.
There's an explosion from downstairs. A blast from whatever video game Finn and Sam are playing together.
It's a sound that Kurt has come to accept as another part of his life living with Finn and it's only increased in frequency since Sam started staying with them as well.
Finn is yelling something at the TV, something that could potentially be about someone on Finn's team not being a good player? There's also something, Kurt thinks, about Finn getting stabbed in the back, though figuratively or literally, Kurt couldn't say.
A voice that's neither Sam nor Finn. Puck, with a menacing retort, as he slams his controller onto the coffee table.
Kurt didn't know that Puck was over.
He checks the time. 3:00. That means only two more hours until Dave and his dad show up.
Probably time to give up shuffling through his sticky notes and join the other living people downstairs. He only left his room for a quick breakfast and a shower, it's about time that he stopped living in solitude.
Plus, there's a chance that Finn has forgotten what time Dave is coming over and could probably use a reminder. In Finn's case, reminders never hurt.
He grabs his phone, checks one last time for a text from Blaine and emerges from his room.
The volume from whatever miscellaneous game is ludicrous. The three boys are spread out around the living room and sprawled out on the furniture in varying states of slouching. They've all got the same look of intense concentration on their faces, except Puck has angry furrows in his forehead. He doesn't smile or laugh like Finn and Sam.
They don't hear Kurt come up behind them. You'd think that boys who are supposed to be good at anticipating plays from another team would be better at hearing what is directly behind them.
Extreme tunnel vision.
Kurt plucks the remote off of the armrest closest to Finn and mutes the volume.
Apparently they can't function without losing their hearing at the same time, so as soon as the sound is cut, there's a huge explosion and a couple people die immediately. Judging from their reactions, it must've been two of them and not computer players.
"What the hell?" Finn greets him, tossing up his hands in frustration, controller still clenched in one of them.
"Thanks Kurt," Sam says sarcastically.
Puck doesn't do anything, really. He lowers his controller and frowns more deeply. Oh well. It's not like Kurt and Puck have conversations on anything resembling a regular basis.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Kurt asks Finn in a serious voice that leaves little room for argument. Finn responds best to authority.
Finn stares back at him. "Dude, what's with you? You've been acting weird all day."
Best not to respond to that. "In the kitchen," Kurt points, and stalks off with his arms crossed.
He waits for Finn with his back turned. Behind him, Sam and Puck are silent. The couch creaks when Finn stands up and Kurt can tell from Finn's aggressive walk that he's not happy.
"The hell is your problem?" Finn asks once he's in front of Kurt.
Kurt keeps his arms crossed tight over his chest. "Puck's leaving in the next hour, right?"
"I don't know. Does it matter?"
"Yes, Finn. It matters. David and his dad will be here in less than two hours."
"So?"
Kurt squints up at Finn and shifts his weight. What about this is Finn not getting? "So," Kurt drawls, "Puck can't be here when David gets here."
"Why not? Sam's going to be there."
"Sam is living with us right now. That's the difference."
"You said something about Sam and Karofsky talking football and Puck's on the team, too." Finn lowers his voice and adds, "Plus, something's up with Puck. I get the feeling that something's bothering him and I wanted to spend some time with him. Try to cheer him up and find out what's wrong."
"You mean you think Puck might be mad about something?" Kurt asks sarcastically.
"I think it's that test he took. He was worried he didn't do so hot."
"Regardless, tonight is really important. The less people involved, the better."
"Important to who? To the Karofskys, or to you?"
"Both," Kurt challenges, though he's got no proof. "Does it matter?"
"You seem awfully wrapped up in this, talking about Dave and inviting him over." And going ice skating, Kurt thinks, but Finn might not know about that. "I saw Blaine leave last night and he looked like he was crying. What's going on? Did you guys break up?"
"No, Finn, we didn't—" Kurt stops. Changes his mind. "I don't know, actually."
Finn rests a comforting hand on Kurt's shoulder. "If things aren't working out with Blaine, that doesn't mean that you have to go running to the only other gay guy you know. You'll meet someone else."
Kurt pushes off his hand. "That's not even—you just made so many incorrect assumptions—"
Finn makes a time-out sign. "Whoa, stepbrother here. Trying to help."
"Well, don't." Kurt starts walking off, searching for something to distract him for the next hour and a half.
"Hey, Kurt. Wait." Kurt turns around. "Do you have your history book at home?"
"Yes," Kurt says questioningly.
"Cool, that's all. Thanks."
Kurt shoots Finn a look and leaves the kitchen.
Kurt finds his dad organizing the garage. Burt tells Kurt that he "wanted to get away from the noise" of the boys playing their video game. He has to shower before the Karofskys come over and Carole is at the store getting food for dinner.
Kurt goes back to the living room, where he promises not to touch the remote, and he does his best to not to fret over what's going to happen when Dave steps through the front door.
He finally does text Dave, just to make sure that he's not too nervous. He texts Dave, How are you doing? Dinner soon.
Dave writes him, Not excited. Dad doesn't seem too thrilled either.
The TV is finally down to a respectable volume so they can hear the doorbell. 5:00 finally rolls around, then 5:01 and 5:02. Kurt is about to lose his mind by the time it's finally 5:07 and Mr. Karofsky rings the doorbell.
Kurt leaps up from the couch to answer the door, racing to get there first even though none of the boys are in any hurry to get there. Kurt plasters a smile on his face and opens the door with, "Hello, Mr. Karofsky. Nice to see you again."
Kurt looks over to Dave, standing slightly behind his dad on the porch step, and his smile drops a fraction. Mr. Karofsky may be ignorant to Kurt's pleasantries (he doesn't seem all-together there in general) but Dave's look of "Seriously, Kurt?" comes through despite the terror on his face.
Dave is clutching a Pyrex pie pan covered with clumpy plastic wrap. He holds it like he's not sure how it got in his hands in the first place.
"Please, come in," Kurt says, gesturing them inside.
They step over the threshold and Kurt closes the door, barricading them.
Dave fidgets with his pie and smooths his thumbs over the plastic. His eyes dart into the corners of the living room, where Finn is turning off their game, and into the section of kitchen that is visible from the entryway.
Mr. Karofsky looks enviously at the pie in Dave's hands, like he is empty, purposeless without something to hold onto.
Carole emerges from the kitchen with a huge smile prepared on her face. "Paul, it's so nice to see you again. Can I take your coat?"
Mr. Karofsky shrugs off his jacket and hands it over with a "Thank you, Carole." He's wearing a somewhat ill-fitting button down shirt tucked around his thick frame. He's maybe an inch or two shorter than Dave (if Dave would ever stand up straight) and a little burlier.
"David, it's probably been eight years since I saw you last."
"Something like that," Dave mumbles, gripping his pie.
"Of course I've seen you on the football field, but not in person since…"
"Yeah," Dave says.
Not in person since when? Since Dave and Finn were friends in elementary school? Probably.
"What did you bring?" she asks brightly, overcompensating for the awkward conversation.
"It's cherry," Dave says, handing her the pie and stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"Susie's recipe," Mr. Karofsky adds. "Nothing better than her pies."
A hurt look crosses Dave's face and he quickly lowers his eyes to stare at the floor. "I made it."
Mr. Karofsky doesn't notice the effect his words had on his son. He doesn't seem to notice much of anything that's directly in front of him.
"I'm sure it will be delicious. I'll go put it in the kitchen." Carole carries off the pie and sets it on the counter.
Sam, Finn and Puck join Kurt and the Karofskys by the front door.
"Hey Mr. Karofsky, hey Dave," Finn greets, trying for casual and mostly succeeding.
Puck and Dave nod at each other. It's the most honest interaction that anyone has had since the Karofskys got there. A simple acknowledgement. Nothing strained.
Sam introduces himself to Mr. Karofsky and shakes his hand. Mr. Karofsky says, "You're the new quarterback?"
Sam's face splits into a huge grin. "Yeah, I'm the new quarterback."
"What—no—I'm the quarterback! You're not even on the team this year!"
"Hudson, chill," Puck says.
"Finn, you're just jealous of my swimmer's bod."
"Swimming?" Dave asks.
"Synchronized," Finn clarifies.
Dave fights back a laugh. "That's great, Sam."
Sam isn't amused, all the playful teasing leaving his face. "Thanks."
Mr. Karofsky stares at each of the boys in turn, as if jocks are an abnormality that he's never been exposed to before.
Carole rushes out of the kitchen. "You can come in; you don't have to crowd around the door."
They begin to disperse but no one has any idea of where else they should go, so mostly they just spread out into a wider, more uncomfortable circle.
Burt comes down the stairs and time stops. Tension rises and Kurt can feel Dave slowly inching away from him, and they aren't even right next to each other.
Burt makes eye contact with Dave first. Dave has a deer-in-headlights look on his face. He swallows and Kurt swears that's the only movement besides Burt descending the stairs.
As if Burt is a predator stalking his prey.
Which is ridiculous, because Burt is completely harmless unless given a reason not to be.
Everyone's eyes are oscillating between Burt and Dave and Burt sees this, but it doesn't stop him from greeting Mr. Karofsky first, with a hearty handshake.
Dave is next. Burt doesn't shake his hand or make any movement like he's going to touch Dave. All he says is "hi," short and gruff.
"Hi," Dave repeats, hoarse and scared.
"So," Finn says into the silence, "when do we eat?"
"As soon as the salmon's done," Burt answers.
"I didn't buy any salmon," Carole says.
"We talked about salmon."
Carole shakes her head. "It wasn't on my list."
The exchange is a little too pre-planned.
Burt pulls out his wallet and collects a wad of cash. "Kurt, I need you boys to go to the store. Buy some fish."
"All of us?" Five teenagers buying salmon steaks seems excessive.
"Get yourselves some frozen yogurt while you're at it."
Kurt takes the money from his dad.
Burt fixes his eyes on Mr. Karofsky. It's clear to everyone except Mr. Karofsky that Burt is trying to get him alone.
Dave is closest to the front door and he reaches behind himself to open it.
"I can go with them—" Mr. Karofsky says, watching as Dave backs through the doorway.
"No," Burt says.
"It's just the store, Dad," Dave reassures him.
Mr. Karofsky doesn't seem comforted.
Kurt wants someone to throw an arm around Dave's shoulders and promise his dad that he'll take care of Dave while they're gone, but Kurt knows that it won't happen. Sam might've done it if he was on better terms with Dave, and Finn is also a possibility, but he's too busy looking confused about why purchasing salmon requires all five of them.
Kurt can't pull off something that casual with Dave, not after everything their fathers know. Not after an expulsion and meeting with the principal twice.
"You want a beer?" Burt asks Mr. Karofsky, slowly leading him into the kitchen. "The boys won't be gone long."
"Sure," he answers, sharing a fleeting glance with Dave while Dave disappears out the door.
The four other boys trail after him, with Puck bringing up the rear and shutting the door behind them.
"Dude, your dad is like, really over protective," Finn says to Dave while they crowd around Kurt's Navigator, parked in the driveway.
"Can you blame him?" Sam asks darkly.
"I guess not," Finn mutters. "Shotgun," he says, though no one else makes a move for it.
Kurt exchanges a look with Puck, who has remained silent the entire time. "What?" Puck bites out. "Fuck if I know anything about dads."
"Sorry," Kurt says, but his apology means nothing. He can't even say for certain what he's apologizing for. If it's for looking at Puck wrong or for Puck not having a father. Either way, Puck ignores it.
Dave chooses the seat behind the driver, behind Kurt. Before he yanks open his door he says to Kurt, "Do you get your lack of subtlety from your dad's side of the family?" then climbs in the car.
Dave takes in the indignation on Kurt's face and adds, "It couldn't've been any more obvious that your dad only wanted to talk to my dad and was looking for the quickest way to get us out of the house."
"You know, some people deal with discomfort in ways that don't involve insulting others," Kurt replies as he starts the engine.
"Yeah, and some people deal without using sarcasm as a defense mechanism." Dave leans against the window, away from Sam in the seat next to him.
Kurt glares at Dave through the rearview mirror but Dave doesn't look up.
"This is going to be a great trip," Sam says, flat, while Finn and Puck turn to stare at him.
Kurt tunes the radio to a miscellaneous station, because he can sense that the car ride is either going to be silent or filled with biting remarks and he can't take either one.
A generic country song starts up and if the situation had been any less disheartening, he's sure he'd get teased for it. Unfortunately, everyone gets the drift that Kurt's only playing the radio so there's some kind of noise that isn't arguing, so no one comments on it.
The trip to the store is short, but everyone crawls out of the car like they can hardly wait to be released from their prison cell.
"I thought we were getting frozen yogurt? Shouldn't we do that before buying fish?" Finn asks Kurt.
"I don't know what's going on," Kurt answers honestly. "I have no idea how much salmon you need to feed eight people."
Dave shrugs. "A couple pounds?"
"I'll call and ask." Kurt takes his iPhone out of his pocket and calls up his dad.
Burt is annoyed when he answers. "What?"
"You didn't tell me how much salmon to get."
"Enough for all of us. I don't know, Kurt."
"I don't know how much that is."
Through his phone he can hear the scrape of a chair against the floor in their kitchen. His dad mumbles something to presumably Mr. Karofsky or Carole, but Kurt doesn't catch what he says.
He hears faint footsteps of his dad walking away.
"I don't care how much salmon you get. The man's a mess. I need you to stall."
Kurt's eyes automatically flick to Dave and Dave understands immediately what's going on without Kurt having to say a word.
"Kurt?" his dad asks him, breaking the silence.
Kurt can only focus on the man's a mess. He has no words for anything else.
Dave sighs and plucks the phone out of Kurt's hand.
"How much time to you need?" It's the same exhausted voice that Dave uses when he's talking to his own dad. Like he's trying so hard to be patient but he doesn't have anything left. Instead, he's empty.
Dave says, "Yeah, I understand," to whatever it is that Burt told him. "Thanks, Mr. Hummel." Dave hesitates before ending the call. Kurt can tell that there's more Dave had wanted to say beyond a simple "thanks," but Finn and Sam are both watching Dave.
Puck is somewhere. On the other side of the car, leaning against it and scowling at the pavement.
Kurt accepts his phone from Dave. "He thinks we should be able to come back within an hour."
"An hour?" Finn cries, searching for support from Sam.
"An hour sounds pretty reasonable to me," Sam counters.
Kurt wants to hug Dave but he doesn't think it would go over well. Not when Kurt's friends are watching them and especially not when they're in public. Still, Dave looks like he could use some reassurance.
There are reminders every now and then that the Dave who bullied Kurt and the Dave who tried to kill himself are the same person. Usually it's in Dave's temper. It's the pull of his eyebrows and the flash of anger in his hazel eyes, the downward pull of his lips. Then there's this new Dave, the one who's vulnerable and alone. He's lost the will power to hide himself 24/7 and everyone knows his business now anyway, so what's the point in forcing yourself to hide again?
Hiding can't erase the truth.
But still, an hour. What is taking an hour? Does that mean that Mr. Karofsky doesn't support his gay son and needs persuasion?
"So are we getting frozen yogurt?" Finn asks.
"No, Finn," Kurt says. "Go buy some chips if you're hungry."
Finn heads for the store.
Dave still looks withdrawn and sad, without an escape route except into the store, where it's more crowded.
"Sam," Dave calls out to him, to stop him from following Finn into the store. "I'm sorry I punched you that one time."
Sam looks at him curiously. "I'm not sorry for punching you back," he replies, without any malice.
"Don't expect you to be."
Sam looks genuinely surprised. He nods at Dave. "Forget about it then." He turns to head for the store.
"No," Dave says.
Sam stops. "What?"
"I don't forget about the shit I do to people."
"OK, then don't forget. But it's over."
The moroseness doesn't lift from Dave's face, so Sam adds, "You gotta put your past behind you," in a very passable Nathan Lane impression.
Dave smirks. "Kurt tried to do that one. It was awful."
Sam smiles. "Kurt's not very good at impressions."
"Hey!" Kurt interrupts.
Sam ignores him and keeps talking to Dave. "He can make his voice go really deep, though. Make him do it sometime. It's eerie."
Dave raises his eyebrows in intrigue.
"I'm right here," Kurt tries a second time.
"I don't think any of us forgot," Dave tells him.
Sam gives Kurt a friendly slap on the back and takes off for the store.
"You gonna go buy fish or not?" Dave asks Kurt.
"I guess I may as well go look. We've got another half an hour to kill here before heading back." Kurt begins his trek through the parking lot and pauses to see if Dave is following him. He's not. Dave lingers around the car just like Puck.
"I'm gonna wait here," Dave says unnecessarily.
Two teenage boys hanging around a reasonably new SUV makes Kurt a little uneasy, not because he's expecting anything bad to happen while he's gone, but because it looks a little suspicious.
He doesn't push it, though.
"OK, well, call if you need anything, or come find me inside."
"Thanks Fancy, but I think we'll manage." Dave snickers.
"You're so irritating David Karofsky, you know that?"
"No. Why don't you remind me?"
From the other side of the car, Puck groans. "Could the two of you flirt any more?"
Their banter comes to an abrupt halt. Flirt? Who said anything about flirting?
The residual amusement slides off of Dave's face. "Go, Kurt."
"I wasn't trying to—"
"Go buy the fucking salmon."
"OK."
"Good. Get out of here."
"Fine," Kurt throws over his shoulder as he huffs angrily and heads toward the store. "Thanks, Puck," he says scathingly before he's away from the car completely.
Kurt hears Dave yell, "The fuck is your problem?" at Puck, then he's out of earshot.
Kurt prices various cuts of prepackaged salmon and compares it to the salmon in the deli case.
He's partially idling because he's still got some time before he has to get back to his house and partially just being picky. He wants to make sure he gets his money's worth.
The twenty-something year old girl working the deli counter asks him three times if there's something she can help him find. He tells her repeatedly that he's just browsing, but thank you, and she grows more impatient each time he says it.
Finally she leaves him alone and once he's decided that he's wasted enough time and he should probably be on his way, he has to call out to her twice before she weighs out the salmon for him.
He passes Finn and Sam in the candy aisle. They're comparing silly candy bar names and laughing to each other.
"I'm going to the car. Meet me outside," he tells them in passing.
After purchasing his salmon from another lackluster employee, he's out the door and headed back to his car, where he will no doubt find Dave and Puck at each other's throats.
Kurt finds them talking quietly on the side of his car that faces away from the store front, with their backs to Kurt. They don't notice him coming immediately and Kurt catches a snippet of whispered conversation.
"Can you retake it?" Dave asks.
"Bitch would never give me a second chance."
"So that's it then? One test and you flunk out of school?"
"No." Puck's voice is bitter. "I've been flunking out of school my entire fucking life."
"And now you're becoming what everyone always expected you to become. A high school drop out." Dave sounds impossibly sad.
"Hey, fuck you, asshole," Puck says, turning angry.
Dave doesn't notice. He keeps talking in that same tone of voice. "When you follow people's expectation, it's like no one is ever surprised." Kurt sees a shadow of Puck bowing his head. Listening. Maybe caught off guard. "I got expelled from school and my parents looked at me like they were disappointed with themselves for hoping that I would be better than that."
"I told my mom when I knocked up Quinn. She said she was just glad it didn't happen sooner."
"Fucking expectations. And fucking parents. If you know this shit is going to happen, fucking do something about it!"
"No one gives a shit if you fuck up your life."
Dave lets the gravity of that statement sink in. Then—"I know you're there, Kurt."
Kurt jumps. Regains composure and adopts a brisk walk like he was still walking back from the store. In the distance he hears someone swinging a plastic bag and some inane chatter about baseball. Finn and Sam.
"I didn't know what type of salmon to get, so I hope Sockeye is OK—" he starts saying, praying that if he picks up conversation immediately, they won't say anything about him eavesdropping.
"We know you were listening. You could fucking acknowledge it," Dave says.
Finn and Sam are nearly to the car. Kurt lowers his voice and says quickly, "I won't tell anyone, Puck."
Puck shrugs like there's not much point in keeping it secret. Still, Kurt doesn't break promises. Not when they mean something.
Finn loudly opens a bag of chips and pops one in his mouth. He offers the bag to Sam, who turns them down.
"Do you need to let your dad know that we're coming back?" Dave asks Kurt.
Calling before they left the store hadn't occurred to him.
Dave says, "You should probably call."
"Yeah, OK." Kurt gets out his phone and calls his dad a second time.
Carole answers the phone this time. "Are you on your way back?" she asks, forgoing a proper "hello."
"Yeah, is that OK?"
She's silent.
"Carole? Can we come back now?"
"That should be fine," she finally responds, but it doesn't sound completely fine. "I'll let them know."
She hangs up.
That was weird. Whatever is going on at the house, it must not be going very well.
"We're going back," Kurt informs everyone.
Dave stands by the front passenger door, waiting patiently for Kurt to unlock his door, headless of Finn's attempt to call shotgun.
Everyone piles into the car and Finn says, "Dude, I called it," when Dave takes the front seat anyway. Dave scowls and doesn't reply.
"No fighting or I'll play the country music again," Kurt promises.
"I like country music," Sam says.
"Then listen to it on your own time," Dave answers.
The rest of the trip is silent.
Mr. Karofsky is nowhere to be found when the boys enter the house. Dave looks around anxiously like he's expecting his dad to come running out to greet him at any second.
"He's in the bathroom," Burt tells Dave.
"How did it go?" Dave asks.
"It's not my job to be a parent to both of you," Burt answers, then goes to help Carole in the kitchen.
Kurt cringes at Dave.
"That's a good look for you. Keep making that face. Maybe it'll stick."
Kurt scoffs and heads to the kitchen to deposit his salmon. In the background he hears Finn say, "Xbox?"
The jocks distribute controllers and arrange themselves around the living room.
Mr. Karofsky emerges from the bathroom. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks more drained than he did when he first got there. He peeks into the living room, sees Dave sitting at the couch with Puck, and visibly exhales.
Kurt wonders if it's like that every time Dave leaves the house.
Dinner is quiet and segregated, with the adults at one end of the table and the teenagers at the other. Burt talks a lot about D.C. and Mr. Karofsky tells him that he voted for him.
Dave doesn't talk to Kurt at all, or even glance his way. He peers nervously over at Burt every now and then.
Sam tries to engage Puck in a conversation about guitars and some song with an awesome guitar solo that they should perform at nationals. Puck is nonresponsive.
To Kurt's immense surprise, Dave admits to his mom forcing him to take a couple years of piano lessons when he was younger.
"Will you play something? After dinner?" Kurt asks, getting excited.
The adults stop their conversation.
Burt stares at Dave.
Dave hunches down in his seat. "I was like, ten. I've forgotten most of it."
Conversation is stilted after that.
Kurt practically leaps at the opportunity to start clearing the table.
Dave moves to help him and Kurt sure that part of his willingness to help is so that he can get away from Burt.
Kurt whispers to Dave when they're setting dishes by the kitchen sink, "It's almost over."
"I'd like it to be over now," Dave whispers back.
The doorbell rings.
"That's Santana," Finn says from the dining room, running to get the door.
All Kurt needs to see is the set of Dave's shoulders in order for him to know that this is going to be very, very bad.